Author Topic: Living With Grandma's Daughter  (Read 207 times)

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Sofia

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Living With Grandma's Daughter
« on: December 06, 2018, 06:47:50 PM »
Whew.  Dodged a bullet today.  Grandma's daughter got home earlier than expected.  Oh boy, I had done all sorts of things "wrong".  My vehicle was in the wrong spot, groceries were in the garage, the entry, and the kitchen.  Packages were open on the counter, food cooking.  A total, chaotic mess by Grandma's daughter's standards.

But nothing happened.  She was high as a kite from her day and talked pleasantly for half an hour before retiring.  Whew.  A miracle on a hard day.  Unbelievable.  This woman who hit the roof last night over how the dishes were set in the drainer (her dishes which she asked me to wash as a favor, on top of her draining dishes from the day before, lol.)  Who was.trying to.rip my bedroom door off its hinges the day before because I forgot to empty the dish washer (We've only just recently started using it).  Nevermind I vacuumed the whole condo, cleaned and polished both interior interior door sliding tracks, swept the driveway-sidewalk-porch, and cleaned blinds.

Lucky day.  Waiting for the other shoe.

ksm32

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2018, 07:53:25 PM »
Would you consider this new living situation to be a step up from the last place with its strange inhabitants? I think the other place actually sounded worse..  Do you still have your elderly cat?
Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2018, 11:26:21 PM »
Would you consider this new living situation to be a step up from the last place with its strange inhabitants? I think the other place actually sounded worse.  Do you still have your elderly cat?
The cat is much better off here.

On the one hand, this place is a step up in many ways and there are no drunks here!  But last week, I realized I haven't been happy.  So, I made a list of both places and did a comparison.  The result was that there were/are some things I needed to change here in order to be happy.  Like, borrowing the adjustible chair, as you and I discussed.  Very important.

So, I've been making some little changes to suit myself and am doing much better, with hope of feeling happier from day to day.  I was surprised at the things on my list of analysis, comparing this place with the last one.  I hadn't realized so many little things were devitalizing me.  I'm just trying to go along to get along, you know.  But, after doing the lists, I am definitely changing a few things.  It's helping a lot toward daily happiness.

It just goes to show that what makes a person happy is not always as clear as one would think.  As an example, we don't have a completely fenced area.  So I've been walking cat on a short leash.  After doing my comparison list, I fashioned a much longer, much more lightweight leash for cat.  And that made all the difference in the quality of our walks.  Things like that (about 12 things). 

Since moving here, I've had big disappointments in my own health, the job market, local air quality, big pharma, and that GD doesn't wash her hands very much.  If I didn't buy soap (hand, dish, and laundry), I am not sure she would use any.

But, there are new perks like exercise areas, having the place to myself a lot, and being able to garage the car.  There is no daily crow show here, but snow geese pass over frequently and we have squirrels.

Now that I know what is bugging me, I can take necessary steps to suit myself, adjust to my disappointments, and enjoy the new perks.

But I don't want to be here any longer than necessary.  There are some very serious reasons why I have not been close over the years (not just the weekly dv).  But any port in a storm!




Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2018, 01:06:44 PM »
I have asked GD, an avid and social hiker, to take me hiking for ten years.  She never invites me, with her friends or alone.  Her friends like me, no problem there, and my strength and stamina are great.  I actually slow down a little for GD.  Maybe GD is confused because I was injured from 2009-2014 and couldn't do long hikes.  But I have persevered in mentioning I would like to go, recently and since 2014.

She is on the phone now, telling an acquaintance that she may attend one of their hikes tomorrow with another younger female relative.  It will be the second time the two have hiked without me.  The younger relative likes me a lot, so that's not the issue.  GD went on to say she might take the relative to a nearby trail which I begged her to go to last month before all the leaves fell from the trees.  Wow.  I don't rate for hikes.  Meanwhile she ridicules me for carrying extra pounds, but I do exercise on my own.  I could ask to go, a reminder of my desires.  Then again, maybe not.

GD plays people against each other and prefers to portray each relative in the most least flattering light.  IE, if you finished a degree "online", she will say you dropped out of college.  That sort of thing.  Can't tell her anything unless it is well-framed to prevent disparagement.

Newest quality-of-life changes:

Senior cat has never been able to hop up on chairs or couches, so she has been unable to see out the windows to all the bird activity here.  She stays away from the sliding door, too, as it is a dangerous high-traffic area around a blind corner.  Grandma's daughter may be a senior citizen, but she sprints through the house like lightning.  It is kind of a freak habit, really - a constant collision hazard.  When no one else is home, I have been moving a chair to the sliding door.  By sitting there, I stabilize the corner from traffic.  Now, senior cat comes over and feels safe, knowing no one can trample her flying around the corner.  She has discovered squirrels, too.  Sometimes I open the door so she can smell the outdoors through the screen.

Last night, I once again tried to re-position Senior Cat's bed so it now faces 2 windows so she can finally see all the bird action she has been missing this whole time. Thiis time, Senior Cat actually accepted the change, maybe since I did it at a cuddly time and stayed there with her during GD's TV hour.  A joyful thing for my heart!

Astro Bitch

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2018, 05:46:17 PM »
Well, I hope that everything works out for you, when my Father in law came to live with us I thought it was going to be the end of the world as I knew it.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2018, 09:08:51 PM »
Well, I hope that everything works out for you, when my Father in law came to live with us I thought it was going to be the end of the world as I knew it.
He is a handful, sounds like.  But, an intelligent one.  She is with a relative tonight.  Peaceful night for Cinderella.  I did a lot of house work.  She won't notice it, but maybe visitors will & someone might adopt me.  I was really hoping the linoleum would brighten up in darker places, but it has a texture and did not whiten.  It would be nice to have a self-wringing stick mop that can really scrub.  Getting on my hands and knees is not my style.

She is so funny, saying, "If my clothes in the dryer bother you, just put them in my room".  Oh no, no, no.  I'm not emptying the dryer for her.  If I use the dryer, I will set just put hers back in when I'm done.  Because she doesn't walk her talk.  Give her an inch and she tries to rip my door down because I didn't give her a mile.  (Of course, if she said she needed help with it, then I would help).

ksm32

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2018, 09:25:19 PM »
Well, I hope that everything works out for you, when my Father in law came to live with us I thought it was going to be the end of the world as I knew it.
Maybe if you weren't such an assface. Have you considered that? Huh? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

albrecht

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2018, 01:38:35 PM »
I'm confused. If you are living with your grandma's daughter wouldn't she be your aunt?

A young couple moved into the neighborhood. I talked to the dude a bit, they have a new baby and he said that they are moving in and also bringing her mom and his dad (both of whom had deceased spouses, I think, maybe one was divorced) and at least one of them has health problems. So, basically, BOTH of them are living with their in-laws in the house and trying to start a family of their own. He sort of made separate suites for them on the first floor (no stairs) and then their room, baby's room, and family room/office on 2nd floor. He said something like "well, we will see how this goes...." but looked like he wasn't looking forward to this living arrangement.

ksm32

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2018, 03:49:05 PM »
Maybe if you weren't such an assface. Have you considered that? Huh? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
@Astro Bitch  Apologies, my account was hacked last night. All good now. 8)
Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2018, 12:15:46 AM »
@Astro Bitch  Apologies, my account was hacked last night. All good now. 8)
Was your BG account hacked on Nov 1st too?

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2018, 12:18:05 AM »
I'm confused. If you are living with your grandma's daughter wouldn't she be your aunt?

A young couple moved into the neighborhood. I talked to the dude a bit, they have a new baby and he said that they are moving in and also bringing her mom and his dad (both of whom had deceased spouses, I think, maybe one was divorced) and at least one of them has health problems. So, basically, BOTH of them are living with their in-laws in the house and trying to start a family of their own. He sort of made separate suites for them on the first floor (no stairs) and then their room, baby's room, and family room/office on 2nd floor. He said something like "well, we will see how this goes...." but looked like he wasn't looking forward to this living arrangement.
Something like that, yes.  Poor guy!  But has built-in childcare, and with any luck, built-in chauffers, present wrappers, errand runners, cooks and maids!

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2018, 12:20:34 AM »
A quiet day, house sitting basically.  I remember GD said before her short trip, "If my clothes in the dryer bother you, just put them in my room.  Uh, no.  Back in the dryer they go, lol.  Now, if she asked nicely, of course I would put her clothes away for her.  Then again, if she was that nice, the clothes wouldn't be in the dryer two nights and three days.

ksm32

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2018, 01:53:07 AM »
Was your BG account hacked on Nov 1st too?
Well hmm maybe it was now that you mention it. It happens more often than not and I feel horrible about it. Just, horrible and deplorable with a shimmy shaken' adorable hip thrust.  BTW I don't like your pillows, my neck is all stiff and out of sorts. BTW I didn't care for the breakfast although I appreciate your efforts.
Have A Holly Jolly Christmas

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2018, 01:37:42 AM »
Well hmm maybe it was now that you mention it. It happens more often than not and I feel horrible about it. Just, horrible and deplorable with a shimmy shaken' adorable hip thrust.  BTW I don't like your pillows, my neck is all stiff and out of sorts. BTW I didn't care for the breakfast although I appreciate your efforts.
It was YOU in that costume???  That's misrepresentation molestation then.  Since nothing else happened. See you in court.  Robert is my attorney.  Better get the mail before the Mrs. comes home, then. 


Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2018, 01:37:54 PM »
Quiet day.  GD is away longer than expected.

Today, I picked up 6 spoons, 4 forks, a bowl, and 2 more saucers for this place.  Because GD asks me to pull those items out of the dishwasher and wash them, since we run out of those items before the dishwasher fills up once every ten days or so.  After having been in the dishwasher many days, of course the specified dishes she wants me to pull out and wash have week-old scum on them, even though they have been rinsed.  Does anyone see this as absurd as I do?  Well, we won't run out of utensils, saucers or bowls now.  They will adequately fill the washer, which we then will run.  Sheesh.  I tried to do this last paycheck, getting 4 spoons and two saucers, but evidently I didn't get enough provisions, because Friday night she once again asked me to haul open the dishwasher and wash items from it.  She didn't mind when I picked up a few things, though.  So hopefully she won't mind this time, either.  Things like this should just be taken care of, unless one is a vagabond!  She is the one supposedly "helping" me, but in order to get by here in a sane fashion, I often am nickle-dimed to pieces.

She likes to run out of necessary items, linens, flatware, and soaps... seems to thrive on the self-deprivation and chaos.  And the scarcity issues give her all sorts of ways to fret and control others.  Unnecessary self-deprivation and the ensuing frustrations are one way to avoid real life, I guess. She is lucky to have the health not to worry about waiting until the last minute to re-stock.  Not everyone can be so disorganized.  There will come a day when she will sorely wish she had not let things get so out of control for no reason, maybe on a day when her health takes a turn and she realizes she is unprepared.  That has happened to me in the past.  It's far better to try to keep things stocked while you are strong than to risk days of poor nutrition while too ill to go shopping.

I remember my dad had the same issues with her.  One day, when I was in high school, he couldn't take her derelict ways anymore.  Suddenly, in addition to working FT, he became the family food shopper.  After years of deprivation, we began to have adequate food in the house.  That was nice of him, but he did it for himself too.  He was trying to cope, living with a wife who begrudged him if he ate the food she prepared, which she never prepared enough of.  I can't imagine a young wife being so twisted.  To this day, she re-tells how she used to look down on him for taking the last piece of chicken.  But, why shouldn't he?  Gallantry does not mean going hungry in one's own castle.  A man should be welcome to eat his food, and since he paid for it, there should have been plenty of it.

Living here with adult eyes has made me appreciate my dad a lot more.  She fought with him like a volcano at bedtime, frequently.  It was diificult listening to them fight all the time, but maybe he took it so we wouldn't have to.


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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2018, 01:37:54 PM »