Climbing to the top and just toppling the tree is amateur hour. Even in their inebriated state they are liable to say "Whoooaaa whoa!" and catch the falling tree and then you will just be banned from climbing and catch a lot of shit. Any flabby tabby can knock off those Hobby Lobby ornaments especially from the lower branches. Boring. You need maximum collateral damage and mess! A personal favorite is to get about two thirds the way up and make it look like you fell out of the tree accidentally (on purpose). As you slip down from the chosen branch, hopefully with a glass ornament furiously thrash the whole way down pulling off everything you can. Real pros can flop to adjoining branches to take out the most kitsch pieces.
When you hit the floor act stunned, even fake a limp if you are so inclined. The family will act more concerned for you than the ornaments. The kids will all be very delighted and some of the adults as well, but they will be biting their tongues. In their inebriated state they will be more inclined to laugh it all off after a few minutes and actually
reward you with cat treats all so happy to see you survived!
Take the treats and then make yourself very scarce at this point. No point in screwing around with wrapping paper and tinsel. (Acting too playful at this point will ruin your plausible deniability.) At this point they will all be slobbery drunk and want to pick you up and hug and squeeze you. If there is a plate with little smokes sausages you may want to grab a couple of these but not so many as to get anyone's attention. An ideal place to hide I've found is in the dark bedroom under the bed where everyone has thrown their coats and stuff.
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