Author Topic: The Bartcast  (Read 331783 times)

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Peter Wyngarde

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #855 on: September 10, 2018, 02:27:22 AM »
As an amateur linguist...

I bet you are. May I remind you that the people reading this site are mostly elderly spinsters and unused to this kind of filth. I can imagine dozens of Persian Blues being dropped in horror when reading this over-ripe stuff.

Peter Wyngarde

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #856 on: September 10, 2018, 02:36:31 AM »
I'll bet you're really sweet once you scrape all your bristles off.   :P

They grow back almost immediately. I'll take you all on. This so-called War of Independence was just a battle, as far as I'm concerned it's still going. This is my typical encounter in London with the average American:

Some waddling horror in Bermuda shorts, and his over-made up wife, asks the way to the nearest McDonald's. Note, never the National Gallery or the British Museum, always a fast food outlet. So, I smile politely, ask them where they're from, and send the bastards the wrong way.

DynamoHum

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #857 on: September 10, 2018, 02:48:02 AM »
They grow back almost immediately. I'll take you all on. This so-called War of Independence was just a battle, as far as I'm concerned it's still going. This is my typical encounter in London with the average American:

Some waddling horror in Bermuda shorts, and his over-made up wife, asks the way to the nearest McDonald's. Note, never the National Gallery or the British Museum, always a fast food outlet. So, I smile politely, ask them where they're from, and send the bastards the wrong way.

I used to take bets on which one would fall over when the tube started to move from them not holding on properly. It’s definitely a coping mechanism when one has to live amongst the transient tourist population whilst trying to live as normal a life as possible.
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DynamoHum

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #858 on: September 10, 2018, 02:51:38 AM »
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r5SX3A-ifME

Or karaoke. A couple of pints of Scrumpy Jack is all it takes, I bet.

Oi got a bran nuuu cormbign arrrvesterrr, oil give yuuu tha keey.

I still get told off by Marital Unit for saying tisn’t. He’s from Wigan, so it’s amazing he can even communicate with anyone down here.
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pawpourri

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #859 on: September 10, 2018, 02:52:52 AM »
They grow back almost immediately. I'll take you all on. This so-called War of Independence was just a battle, as far as I'm concerned it's still going. This is my typical encounter in London with the average American:

Some waddling horror in Bermuda shorts, and his over-made up wife, asks the way to the nearest McDonald's. Note, never the National Gallery or the British Museum, always a fast food outlet. So, I smile politely, ask them where they're from, and send the bastards the wrong way.

Point conceded.  (I'll ask my uncle to wear trousers next visit.)

But, the thing is, your cousins and my cousins could be...cousins.

England and the U.S. are blood kin.  We love the English people.  We are probably a little envious of you guys.  Hell, you've got Stonehenge AND Tesco.   ;)

Peter Wyngarde

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #860 on: September 10, 2018, 03:14:21 AM »
Point conceded.  (I'll ask my uncle to wear trousers next visit.)

But, the thing is, your cousins and my cousins could be...cousins.

England and the U.S. are blood kin.  We love the English people.  We are probably a little envious of you guys.  Hell, you've got Stonehenge AND Tesco.   ;)

I'll give you half a point for saying 'English', because I refuse to recognise the Scots, and especially the Welsh. But I take it away again for comparing Stonehenge to Tesco. Their bread is like chewing on a used nappy.

Peter Wyngarde

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #861 on: September 10, 2018, 03:17:21 AM »
Oi got a bran nuuu cormbign arrrvesterrr, oil give yuuu tha keey.

I still get told off by Marital Unit for saying tisn’t. He’s from Wigan, so it’s amazing he can even communicate with anyone down here.

I'm a Southerner to the tips of my manicured fingers. Even thinking about the North is likely to bring on a nosebleed.

Spookcat

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #862 on: September 10, 2018, 03:19:37 AM »
I'll give you half a point for saying 'English', because I refuse to recognise the Scots, and especially the Welsh. But I take it away again for comparing Stonehenge to Tesco. Their bread is like chewing on a used nappy.

May I ask why you don't recognize the Scots or the Welsh? What about the Irish?
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DynamoHum

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #863 on: September 10, 2018, 03:37:27 AM »
I'm a Southerner to the tips of my manicured fingers. Even thinking about the North is likely to bring on a nosebleed.

I don’t know how he managed to get down here without there being a political incident. It’s not their fault of course. Too many Waggon Wheels as children.
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Peter Wyngarde

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #864 on: September 10, 2018, 03:43:13 AM »
May I ask why you don't recognize the Scots or the Welsh? What about the Irish?

The Welsh are a bunch of shifty dwarves who can't speak their own language without covering everyone else in spit. The Scots are just looking for an excuse to put woad on their faces and go all Braveheart on us again. The Irish have succeeded in conning Americans into thinking they are sensitive poets and artists rather than the drunken morons they so obviously are.

DynamoHum

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #865 on: September 10, 2018, 03:45:19 AM »
The Welsh are a bunch of shifty dwarves who can't speak their own language without covering everyone else in spit. The Scots are just looking for an excuse to put woad on their faces and go all Braveheart on us again. The Irish have succeeded in conning Americans into thinking they are sensitive poets and artists rather than the drunken morons they so obviously are.

I think we are related.

I once went to North Wales (yes, I know), We stopped in Bala for a break and went into a cafe. It was like going to Royston Vasey except everyone stopped talking looked at us and then started speaking in Welsh. There was a banjo playing in the distance.
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Peter Wyngarde

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #866 on: September 10, 2018, 03:51:26 AM »
I think we are related.

I once went to North Wales (yes, I know), We stopped in Bala for a break and went into a cafe. It was like going to Royston Vasey except everyone stopped talking looked at us and then started speaking in Welsh. There was a banjo playing in the distance.

It's so common it's almost expected. Their only use for Welsh is to annoy the English. If you haven't read Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh, I recommend it. Not only is it one of the funniest novels ever written, it skewers the Welsh in no uncertain terms.

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #867 on: September 10, 2018, 04:24:35 AM »
They grow back almost immediately. I'll take you all on. This so-called War of Independence was just a battle, as far as I'm concerned it's still going. This is my typical encounter in London with the average American:

Some waddling horror in Bermuda shorts, and his over-made up wife, asks the way to the nearest McDonald's. Note, never the National Gallery or the British Museum, always a fast food outlet. So, I smile politely, ask them where they're from, and send the bastards the wrong way.
As a resident of an American tourist spot, I see the same people and treat them the same. The worst places to meet them are in the roundabouts where they frequently drive the wrong way.
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DynamoHum

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #868 on: September 10, 2018, 05:03:21 AM »
It's so common it's almost expected. Their only use for Welsh is to annoy the English. If you haven't read Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh, I recommend it. Not only is it one of the funniest novels ever written, it skewers the Welsh in no uncertain terms.

I’ve Amazoned it.

Basically anything North of Watford and South of the mainland is not to be trusted or entertained. The Isle of Wight is also a hive of scum and villainy. As for The Channels Islands...the dirty bastards. 
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FISH

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Re: The Bartcast
« Reply #869 on: September 10, 2018, 07:38:57 AM »
My original accent was a lot more yokel. The Rhoicity stuff - the map shows a west bias of that and I can attest to that having grown up in rural West Berkshire. My Rrr’s were off the charts, a spell in London of 20 odd years soon beat that out of me, and I have the estuary not quite posh verging on middle class accent you all hear me with. That is not to say I can’t do a Wyngarde when in the US to get top notch service or scare the shit out of people at a poker table (don’t know why, but it works). I can slip into a West Country burr very very easily and will demonstrate next time if someone wants.
I hope you are invited back to The Bartcast so I may hear you slip back to a West Country burr on your new microphone.  Have you been invited back to Bartcast? Do you have a date for your return? Please do not do a "Heather" response.