Author Topic: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread  (Read 581127 times)

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PolkaDot

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #765 on: October 09, 2019, 07:51:08 PM »
Ok @anniem and @SpookPumpkin

So Mad Jack was a guy that used to work back at the Island of Misfit Toys .  From Wyoming [don't meet too many of them in these parts].  A good man - just a little paranoid is all. Especially about Mrs. Jack - he was one of those fellahs that think every other guy in the world was out to tap onto to his wife.  You know that type of dude - I'm sure.

He was going to take his family to the beach for a 3 day weekend once.  So on Thursday afternoon, ole Mad Jack walks on over to the ATM machine to grab some cash for the trip.  Goes to take the loot out and "Sorry.  Your account balance is $5.  Insufficient funds available for withdrawal".
He thinks to himself - "Damn that's funny.  WTH".   So he cruises back to his cube to call the bank and get the scoop.  When he gets back he notices a message on his phone from Mrs. Jack.  "I've left you.  If you want to see your children again, the address is........"   Turns out some dude was long dicking Mrs. Jack. 

So he kind of staggers out of his cube in a daze.  Everyone is like "Yo Jack!  Have a good time at the beach man"   *Gulp* goes Mad Jack.  In a daze he cruises into the head and enters Stall #1 [The tired bowl that had the cradle that Fat Bob designed to give it some support.  A picture of the bowl and the miracle cradle is buried in the Heather thread for the curious].  He decides to do away with himself but all he has is this tiny, dull,  pocket knife. He starts to try and decapitate his noggin but it is tough going as he starts carving on his neck.  Soon enough he decides he wants to live [or at least did not want to die on Fat Bob's bowl] and he staggers out gurgling for help as he did hit windpipe pay dirt eventually.

From there you know the rest of the story.   Pandemonium. Paramedics.  Followed by Coppers asking questions and Biohazard folks trying to deal with Fat Bob's bowl.  So the White Shoe Boys made a new rule - no blades allowed.
Wow, the White Shoe solution to that was no blades? Did they also decide only brown tile with dark grout too? Yikes.
There was a little girl,
            Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
            When she was good,
            She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

PolkaDot

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #766 on: October 09, 2019, 07:52:27 PM »
I would. I am incredibly gullible and believe nearly everything I see, hear and read.

Does that make you want to tell us stories around the campfire?

I'll make smores
Without marshmallows please.
There was a little girl,
            Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
            When she was good,
            She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

TigerLily

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #767 on: October 10, 2019, 01:05:11 AM »
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That was a real lol
Angel in Training  Words of Wisdom: "Play along or go to Hell"

TigerLily

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #768 on: October 10, 2019, 01:11:51 AM »
Without marshmallows please.

Without marshmallows? Why, that's only a s'm. Outrageous! At least you allowed the chocolate
Angel in Training  Words of Wisdom: "Play along or go to Hell"

StarrMountain

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #769 on: October 10, 2019, 01:41:23 AM »
Without marshmallows please.
But - but - but, smores is all about the marshmallows.  Well, at least you kept the chocolate. ;)  +1 ;D

StarrMountain

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #770 on: October 10, 2019, 01:43:03 AM »
Without marshmallows? Why, that's only a s'm. Outrageous! At least you allowed the chocolate

+1! ;D

TigerLily

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #771 on: October 10, 2019, 08:35:44 AM »
But - but - but, smores is all about the marshmallows.  Well, at least you kept the chocolate. ;)  +1 ;D

Hi Starr. I thought there was an echo in here. Or a time glitch in the matrix. Great minds
Angel in Training  Words of Wisdom: "Play along or go to Hell"

anniem

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #772 on: October 10, 2019, 09:02:42 AM »
Without marshmallows please.

Without? Of course you are correct.
Do we substitute anything for the marshes?

anniem

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #773 on: October 10, 2019, 09:03:41 AM »
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This is the best!

TigerLily

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #774 on: October 10, 2019, 09:20:55 AM »
Without? Of course you are correct.
Do we substitute anything for the marshes?

You're messing with perfection, ladies. How else are you going to get that sugar high and queasy feeling when sitting around the campfire telling ghost stories?
Angel in Training  Words of Wisdom: "Play along or go to Hell"

GravitySucks

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #775 on: October 10, 2019, 09:46:25 AM »
Without? Of course you are correct.
Do we substitute anything for the marshes?

Brussels sprouts
Are we having fun yet?

TigerLily

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #776 on: October 10, 2019, 09:59:07 AM »
Without? Of course you are correct.
Do we substitute anything for the marshes?

Hornworms
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anniem

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #777 on: October 10, 2019, 10:07:14 AM »

anniem

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #778 on: October 10, 2019, 10:08:07 AM »

Bobs Your Uncle

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Re: Whatever: The Open Lines Thread
« Reply #779 on: October 10, 2019, 10:53:19 AM »
Do we substitute anything for the marshes?

Silly question; more chocolate of course!