"Put some gum in her mouth and let's hear if she can chew it. Have her get closer to the mic please."
"Tommee, don't we have some of that hard-candy and beef jerky left over from our last big event? Take her address off-air and send her some..."
"But I'm on a soft-food diet because my teeth are rotting out....."
"next caller, Heellllooo Brad-O from Salem, Oregon. Tommee says you are blind! What is it like when you dream? Can you see colors?"
"well George, I've been blind since birth but I do well and have learned to cope. But I have this demon in my basement..."
"ok, we got to go to a break"
--commercial for Carnivora Beet Juice--commercial from a fake redneck who loves freedom and money and will send you checks---
"and we are back, Tommee that was a great caller. Please send him one of those books we have left over from Doc Wallet's last appearance. Reading it might help him with his eye-sight."