When I become Supreme Overlord of this planet (any day now, my henchmen inform me), one of my first actions will be to ban Americans from discussing football (or 'So-Cher', as you people insist on calling it) or having anything to do with it whatsover. In any way. It gives me the creeps. At any moment, when I watch you trying to play it on TV, I keep expecting you to pick it up, run off with it, and then throw it triumphantly into the ground on the 18 yard box, while dancing around like a 10-year-old girl at her best-friend's birthday party.
Just stop it, 'mkay? You decided to go your own way a long time ago, so you could pretend to be the best in the world at sports nobody else gives a flying flapdoodle about, so I think you should be left to flounder in your own self-created goo and let the rest of us have some peace from you louts for a while.
It makes me so cross!!