I think a drag queen should play the role of HW. Her appearance is very mannish.
You have made two very serious errors in judgment!
1) Drag queens are fabulous. Every day of their lives, fabulous! Get it? Capice?
2) No self-respecting drag queen would be pale white as that! No self-respecting drag queen would stay out of the warm and wonderful sun for the amount of time necessary to degrade to that shade of white!
Now, I understand that girthier comedian Louie Anderson has considered dressing in drag for potential movie roles. (He's desperate to revive his career.) Louie could play sLushee. Isn't he from Canadia too?
Being that they are concerned that an actor playing Mike from Montana would have a difficult time keeping a straight face, they have considered keeping his role strictly on the telephone a la Charlie from Charlie's Angels.
Speaking of drag... Mike Myers as Dillman? Is she Jewish? Does she get verklempt? Mike can pull it off! His career has been in the shitter of late as well, he could use a big boost.