Whatever: The Open Lines Thread

[Peter Wyngarde]

Cooze is sex with women
Stalls is the loo
We'll teach you English yet.

I guess the stalls is what you idiots call "the orchestra".

There's plenty of hot Asians in London. Particularly Koreans. They even opened up Korean supermarkets here to cater for them.

Anyway, not that any of you bastards care, but I had a good time while you were all playing with yourselves watching documentaries about Auschwitz on the History Channel.

[JUAN]

That's not what was on the History Channel today. It was episodes of Swamp People where real men go out into the Louisiana swamps and fish for alligators.

What Mozart did they play? Bruckner, too? 

[Peter Wyngarde]

That's not what was on the History Channel today. It was episodes of Swamp People where real men go out into the Louisiana swamps and fish for alligators.

What Mozart did they play? Bruckner, too?

They played the Piano Concerto #22 with the Norwegian pianist Leif Ove Andsnes. It was tidy but nothing special. They often pair Mozart and Bruckner in concert programmes and I don't think it ever quite works, even though I love Mozart. After the interval it was the Seventh Symphony by Bruckner. That was really excellent despite being conducted by someone labouring under the double handicap of being 1) a woman and 2) French. Despite my undying hostility towards those snail-sucking bastards, she did a very good job and the LSO sounded terrific. They  are doing the Ninth on Sunday and I might go and see that too
I haven't heard any live music for years and I'd forgotten how much I missed it.

[JUAN]

I love Mozart, too, and am in the process of downloading the huge collection of his work - 41CDs or something like that.  I'd listen to Bruckner but not go to much effort to hear it. I've seen reasonably decent women conductors but never a French one.

[Peter Wyngarde]

I love Mozart, too, and am in the process of downloading the huge collection of his work - 41CDs or something like that.  I'd listen to Bruckner but not go to much effort to hear it. I've seen reasonably decent women conductors but never a French one

Bruckner's definitely an acquired taste, unlike Mahler who most people like to one extent or another. If you haven't heard him, it's worth checking out Klemperer doing the Mozart symphonies. The conductor tonight was called Nathalie Stutzmann who was a well-known contralto before she took up conducting. I was very impressed, I must say, even though I was in a bad mood from it raining all sodding day.

[Billy Joe Mulgreavey]

i=Mea4o-iSYMwp3QpH

This came up as a recommended video on YouTube.  Since I don’t know what turnarounds are, I thought I’d learn about them.  I’ve watched this video several times and I still don’t know what a turnaround is. 

[Billy Joe Mulgreavey]

A pretty good Elvis doco.

[Peter Wyngarde]

i=Mea4o-iSYMwp3QpH

This came up as a recommended video on YouTube.  Since I don’t know what turnarounds are, I thought I’d learn about them.  I’ve watched this video several times and I still don’t know what a turnaround is.

The project: get a woman with giant norks to ramble on about fuck all for several minutes and see if anyone can remember a fucking word she said.

She should be presenting the weather on an Italian TV channel, she's wasted here.

[Billy Joe Mulgreavey]

The project: get a woman with giant norks to ramble on about fuck all for several minutes and see if anyone can remember a fucking word she said.

She should be presenting the weather on an Italian TV channel, she's wasted here.

i=oXIhWuTcUbACBHZS

Here it is explained in Japanese.  There appears to be other languages as well, each with a different female orrator.  I have a suspicion than none of these women work for the company.

[Peter Wyngarde]

i=oXIhWuTcUbACBHZS

Here it is explained in Japanese.  There appears to be other languages as well, each with a different female orrator.  I have a suspicion than none of these women work for the company.

We're all being screwed around by the algorithm. I keep getting videos with a fat chick dressed up as a female Ronald McDonald. If they were any larger she could be Falkie's mom.

[Peter Wyngarde]

I'm guessing @Billy Joe Mulgreavey thought the video was all about reacharounds, and his sweaty little clicking finger couldn't click fast enough. Imagine his disappointment when it featured a woman instead!!?

[Billy Joe Mulgreavey]

I'm guessing @Billy Joe Mulgreavey thought the video was all about reacharounds, and his sweaty little clicking finger couldn't click fast enough. Imagine his disappointment when it featur :oed a woman instead!!?

Truly, the interwebs are chock full of disappointment s!

[Billy Joe Mulgreavey]

But then, I'm not as sophisticated as you.  Perhaps one day you'll invite me a to one of those piano.comcertos, If your boyfriend doesn't mind me tagging along.

[Peter Wyngarde]

But then, I'm not as sophisticated as you.  Perhaps one day you'll invite me a to one of those piano.comcertos, If your boyfriend doesn't mind me tagging along.

If you're offering yourself up as post-concert entertainment I'll make a note of it. Just ignore the black plastic on the walls.

[Walks_At_Night]

Best line of dialog ever in a motion picture?