Evolution of a Marriage

[Sofia]

Evolution of a Marriage:

Engaged:  He compliments her, looks her over, looks deeply into her eyes, holds her hand, sits close to her, whispers in her ear, talks to her, caresses her hair, touches her cheek, opens doors for her, does the heavy lifting, gingerly touches her buttons/bra, massages her with no agenda, listens to her, and makes out with her for long periods of time without necessarily going all the way.

She takes hours to get her appearance ready to see him.  Keeps a hair style, curls/straightens/treats her hair, puts on make-up, uses fragrance, shaves/etc., accessorizes, does her nails, and buys clothes, shoes & accessories.

Newlywed: He does all of the above, plus touches her tenderly, takes his time, cuddles and finds ways to make sure she climaxes FIRST because that works best since a man's window of opportunity can be short once he starts, and also because his energy could be zapped after he is done.

She buys the groceries, cleans the house, cooks, does his laundry, organizes, and still usually maintains her work schedule outside the home.  She no longer can spend hours getting ready to see him, because it's one thing for a single lady's apartment to get messy temporarily, but it is something else entirely to let a chores get backed up when two people are using the home. 

5 Years: He lays on top of her and ruts, if anything.

She doesn't have time or interest in frivolity (her appearance) or sex.  Even when they have sex, even if he remembers to keep up affection outside the bedroom (which is important to women's sexuality), and even if he remembers how her girl parts work for her pleasure, she nonetheless can't climax, because she is too tired and can't relax anyway, due to being a domestic servant as well as being employed.

Here are good articles: 

http://theproblemismen.com/rants/bettersex  This article gets better way down toward the end.  Don't be fooled by stupid titles; it's a good read.

https://www.famifi.com/1884/20-ways-to-make-your-wife-fall-in-love-with-you-again

[Fast and Bulbous]

Evolution of a Marriage:

Engaged:  He compliments her, looks her over, looks deeply into her eyes, holds her hand, sits close to her, whispers in her ear, talks to her, caresses her hair, touches her cheek, opens doors for her, does the heavy lifting, gingerly touches her buttons/bra, massages her with no agenda, listens to her, and makes out with her for long periods of time without necessarily going all the way.

She takes hours to get her appearance ready to see him.  Keeps a hair style, curls/straightens/treats her hair, puts on make-up, uses fragrance, shaves/etc., accessorizes, does her nails, and buys clothes, shoes & accessories.

Newlywed: He does all of the above, plus touches her tenderly, takes his time, cuddles and finds ways to make sure she climaxes FIRST because that works best since a man's window of opportunity can be short once he starts, and also because his energy could be zapped after he is done.

She buys the groceries, cleans the house, cooks, does his laundry, organizes, and still usually maintains her work schedule outside the home.  She no longer can spend hours getting ready to see him, because it's one thing for a single lady's apartment to get messy temporarily, but it is something else entirely to let a chores get backed up when two people are using the home. 

5 Years: He lays on top of her and ruts, if anything.

She doesn't have time or interest in frivolity (her appearance) or sex.  Even when they have sex, even if he remembers to keep up affection outside the bedroom (which is important to women's sexuality), and even if he remembers how her girl parts work for her pleasure, she nonetheless can't climax, because she is too tired and can't relax anyway, due to being a domestic servant as well as being employed.

Here are good articles: 

http://theproblemismen.com/rants/bettersex  This article gets better way down toward the end.  Don't be fooled by stupid titles; it's a good read.

https://www.famifi.com/1884/20-ways-to-make-your-wife-fall-in-love-with-you-again

The story doesn't  explain how things got this way.   It sounds like they're tired of each other. Why is the wife doing all the chores while working a full  time job? Is she a neat-freak who can't stand to see a speck of dust? If they both work, this isn't fair.  I don’t know why in a 2 income house,  they don’t pay somebody to come in and do the chores.

[KSM]

How'd the interview go?


the one you were annoyed about

[Exile]

Evolution of Marriage.

1. Love.
2. Lots and lots of sex.
3. Lots of sex.
4. Some sex.
5. Very little sex.
6. No sex.
7. Divorce.
8. She gets everything.
9. You get to pay half of her new boy toy's expenses.
10. You finally die.

[Fast and Bulbous]

Evolution of Marriage.

1. Love.
2. Lots and lots of sex.
3. Lots of sex.
4. Some sex.
5. Very little sex.
6. No sex.
7. Divorce.
8. She gets everything.
9. You get to pay half of her new boy toy's expenses.
10. You finally die.

Any ideas on how marriage had turned out this way? It was not like this for my grand-parents ' generation. It started in the 1960s and 1970s.
Txo thirds of marriage end in divorce.  Fact.
70% of divorces are filed by the wife. Fact.
Most of the time; the woman gets everything plus alimony for life. Fact.
The title,  "the problem is men" says all I need to hear.

Marriage has kind of turned into an early retirement system for women . Is there anything in marriage for men?

Knowing how men are treated today, I don't plan to get married. Makes me want one of those Japanese dolls. Or perhaps a mail order bride from a culture that does not treat m'en this way.

[Exile]

Any ideas on how marriage had turned out this way? It was not like this for my grand-parents ' generation. It started in the 1960s and 1970s.
Txo thirds of marriage end in divorce.  Fact.
70% of divorces are filed by the wife. Fact.
Most of the time; the woman gets everything plus alimony for life. Fact.
The title,  "the problem is men" says all I need to hear.

Marriage has kind of turned into an early retirement system for women . Is there anything in marriage for men?

Knowing how men are treated today, I don't plan to get married. Makes me want one of those Japanese dolls. Or perhaps a mail order bride from a culture that does not treat m'en this way.

I'm not an expert in this field at all but I'll give it my best shot.

The genesis of where we are today lies with the beginning of active American participation in WW II. Women flooding into the factories of the arsenal of democracy and working in jobs that traditionally only men worked.

The second factor is that millions of men that had sacrificed not only their lives and blood but 4 years fighting a actual shooting war had little to zero need to fight the coming culture wars of the 60's and 70's.

The result of the first two steps was 1st and 2nd wave feminism which despite the failure of the E.R.A. achieved defacto women;s equality.

The first crack in the cultural armor was now No Fault Divorce. You could end a marriage on a whim. The second was the loosening of abortion laws. You could now also end a life on a whim. the 3rd was sexual deviancy laws. I won't other going into those because I already know I am a "right wing nazi misogynist hater, I don't need to be told again.

I haven't read the stats lately but 90% of all divorce cases historically, women get what they want or more.

3rd wave feminism has rendered men almost completely useless. They are not needed for anything.  When you are told this over and over, you lose interest in participating. The fact that men are viewed as nothing more than a piggy bank was a long slow road with many forks. A very large book would be needed to go into detail.

This little rant is very incomplete. As I stated I am no expert in this field. These are just my observations. Look for the facts yourself. This little rant is also not a condemnation of women, it is a judgement call. Two different things. This is also not a judgement call against all women, only those who consider themselves superior to men in all ways.

 

[KSM]

Evolution of a Marriage:

Engaged:  He compliments her, looks her over, looks deeply into her eyes, holds her hand, sits close to her, whispers in her ear, talks to her, caresses her hair, touches her cheek, opens doors for her, does the heavy lifting, gingerly touches her buttons/bra, massages her with no agenda, listens to her, and makes out with her for long periods of time without necessarily going all the way.

She takes hours to get her appearance ready to see him.  Keeps a hair style, curls/straightens/treats her hair, puts on make-up, uses fragrance, shaves/etc., accessorizes, does her nails, and buys clothes, shoes & accessories.

Newlywed: He does all of the above, plus touches her tenderly, takes his time, cuddles and finds ways to make sure she climaxes FIRST because that works best since a man's window of opportunity can be short once he starts, and also because his energy could be zapped after he is done.

She buys the groceries, cleans the house, cooks, does his laundry, organizes, and still usually maintains her work schedule outside the home.  She no longer can spend hours getting ready to see him, because it's one thing for a single lady's apartment to get messy temporarily, but it is something else entirely to let a chores get backed up when two people are using the home. 

5 Years: He lays on top of her and ruts, if anything.

She doesn't have time or interest in frivolity (her appearance) or sex.  Even when they have sex, even if he remembers to keep up affection outside the bedroom (which is important to women's sexuality), and even if he remembers how her girl parts work for her pleasure, she nonetheless can't climax, because she is too tired and can't relax anyway, due to being a domestic servant as well as being employed.

Here are good articles: 

http://theproblemismen.com/rants/bettersex  This article gets better way down toward the end.  Don't be fooled by stupid titles; it's a good read.

https://www.famifi.com/1884/20-ways-to-make-your-wife-fall-in-love-with-you-again

YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED. WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT HERE?  Oh, sorry for yelling. None of this applies to my relationship with my wife or the other stocking stuffers that I. I just don't know why you bother with these long ass reports that don't apply to you.

[Fast and Bulbous]

I'm not an expert in this field at all but I'll give it my best shot.

The genesis of where we are today lies with the beginning of active American participation in WW II. Women flooding into the factories of the arsenal of democracy and working in jobs that traditionally only men worked.

The second factor is that millions of men that had sacrificed not only their lives and blood but 4 years fighting a actual shooting war had little to zero need to fight the coming culture wars of the 60's and 70's.

The result of the first two steps was 1st and 2nd wave feminism which despite the failure of the E.R.A. achieved defacto women;s equality.

The first crack in the cultural armor was now No Fault Divorce. You could end a marriage on a whim. The second was the loosening of abortion laws. You could now also end a life on a whim. the 3rd was sexual deviancy laws. I won't other going into those because I already know I am a "right wing nazi misogynist hater, I don't need to be told again.

I haven't read the stats lately but 90% of all divorce cases historically, women get what they want or more.

3rd wave feminism has rendered men almost completely useless. They are not needed for anything.  When you are told this over and over, you lose interest in participating. The fact that men are viewed as nothing more than a piggy bank was a long slow road with many forks. A very large book would be needed to go into detail.

This little rant is very incomplete. As I stated I am no expert in this field. These are just my observations. Look for the facts yourself. This little rant is also not a condemnation of women, it is a judgement call. Two different things. This is also not a judgement call against all women, only those who consider themselves superior to men in all ways.

the need to vent is understandable. The marriage situation in Western countries is unsustainable.

I hadn't realised the influence of WWII, esp the flood of women in the workforce had a role. Men were suddenly not needed to keep the economy going and women knew it.

Same with the emergence of openly gay lifestyle  (liberalisation of homosexual relations ). Not that women in the workforce or gays are bad. I respect people's chioice to work and their sexual orientation. But getting married and having children is no longer the only option or even expected.

Your Othe r example, no fault divorce and the soul-crushing penalties the judge imposes on the husband,  shows that even in the eyes of the legal system, men are nothing more than an ATM whose purpose is to pick up where her daddy left off.


At some point,  men became not only viewed as useless , but were no longer respected. At least that's the feeling I get. You can see it in the titles of feminist websites (like the obe inthe first post: theproblemismen.com ), and hear it in radical feminist screeds . It's   also seen in  the way men are portrayed on TV, from women's morning shows to commercial s and movies. The husband is always bumbling and in the way. The wife and teen daughter must always intervene to solve whatever problem the family is facing and that the husband probably caused.   

  The issue is complicated, and even though I don’t understand it, I know enough not to get married. Its ironic that nowadays, women are complaining that they can't find a man who is willing to commit.   I wonder why.

[Exile]

the need to vent is understandable. The marriage situation in Western countries is unsustainable.

I hadn't realised the influence of WWII, esp the flood of women in the workforce had a role. Men were suddenly not needed to keep the economy going and women knew it.

Same with the emergence of openly gay lifestyle  (liberalisation of homosexual relations ). Not that women in the workforce or gays are bad. I respect people's chioice to work and their sexual orientation. But getting married and having children is no longer the only option or even expected.

Your Othe r example, no fault divorce and the soul-crushing penalties the judge imposes on the husband,  shows that even in the eyes of the legal system, men are nothing more than an ATM whose purpose is to pick up where her daddy left off.


At some point,  men became not only viewed as useless , but were no longer respected. At least that's the feeling I get. You can see it in the titles of feminist websites (like the obe inthe first post: theproblemismen.com ), and hear it in radical feminist screeds . It's   also seen in  the way men are portrayed on TV, from women's morning shows to commercial s and movies. The husband is always bumbling and in the way. The wife and teen daughter must always intervene to solve whatever problem the family is facing and that the husband probably caused.   

  The issue is complicated, and even though I don’t understand it, I know enough not to get married. Its ironic that nowadays, women are complaining that they can't find a man who is willing to commit.   I wonder why.

Try finding a positive male role model anywhere in popular culture. Chances are it will be a non straight one. If you do find one that is a white male, I bet you could find hundreds of the type you described.

A bumbling idiot.

Is it any wonder MGTOW is as popular as it is and gaining every day?

[Sofia]

the need to vent is understandable. The marriage situation in Western countries is unsustainable.

I hadn't realised the influence of WWII, esp the flood of women in the workforce had a role. Men were suddenly not needed to keep the economy going and women knew it.

Same with the emergence of openly gay lifestyle  (liberalisation of homosexual relations ). Not that women in the workforce or gays are bad. I respect people's chioice to work and their sexual orientation. But getting married and having children is no longer the only option or even expected.

Your Othe r example, no fault divorce and the soul-crushing penalties the judge imposes on the husband,  shows that even in the eyes of the legal system, men are nothing more than an ATM whose purpose is to pick up where her daddy left off.


At some point,  men became not only viewed as useless , but were no longer respected. At least that's the feeling I get. You can see it in the titles of feminist websites (like the obe inthe first post: theproblemismen.com ), and hear it in radical feminist screeds . It's   also seen in  the way men are portrayed on TV, from women's morning shows to commercial s and movies. The husband is always bumbling and in the way. The wife and teen daughter must always intervene to solve whatever problem the family is facing and that the husband probably caused.   

  The issue is complicated, and even though I don’t understand it, I know enough not to get married. Its ironic that nowadays, women are complaining that they can't find a man who is willing to commit.   I wonder why.

Men are needed.  I think each gender compliments the other.  Women have strong legs; men have strong arms.  Women's minds operate one way, men's tend to operate another way.  Not to sound too trite, but life is a lot easier for a woman who has a man around.  Car doors ARE heavy, shelves ARE too high, the tension springs at the top of doors are IMPOSSIBLY difficult to push/pull.  As long as tools and equipment are made by men, most women will need a man to reach it, unscrew it, etc...  A man's perspective on problems is a great thing, with their logical approaches. 

[Sofia]

YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED. WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT HERE?  Oh, sorry for yelling. None of this applies to my relationship with my wife or the other stocking stuffers that I. I just don't know why you bother with these long ass reports that don't apply to you.

It was illegal for gays to marry, dingbat.  1985-2002 was a long time.  Take what you like and leave the rest.  This provides female perspectives on a complimentary thread recently in the forum, which only discusses the male perspective.  That thread stands on its own, so I put this thread separate, as a matter of respect.

[Sofia]

How'd the interview go?


the one you were annoyed about

It went great!  Everything was perfect.  Manager was young & inexperienced with lead time.  I cancelled plans on Monday bec of lack of lead time but then it turned out I could have enjoyed my Monday plans anyhow.  But  by the time I knew that, it was too late. Today's young people just don't really do lead time.  But that's okay. Manager has well-redeeming qualities. Still waiting to hear. 

[Sofia]

The story doesn't  explain how things got this way.   It sounds like they're tired of each other. Why is the wife doing all the chores while working a full  time job? Is she a neat-freak who can't stand to see a speck of dust? If they both work, this isn't fair.  I don’t know why in a 2 income house,  they don’t pay somebody to come in and do the chores.

That sounds nice, but most dual income households, that I know of don't afford a house cleaner.  Let alone a shopper, unpacker, scheduler, chauffer, launderer, nurturer, care giver and womb.  As I understand it, she does it because someone has to do it.  Like, kids' lunches can't be well made if the fridge, sink and range aren't clean.  Kids can't get to school very well if their clothes aren't clean.

[Sofia]

Any ideas on how marriage had turned out this way? It was not like this for my grand-parents ' generation. It started in the 1960s and 1970s.
Txo thirds of marriage end in divorce.  Fact.
70% of divorces are filed by the wife. Fact.
Most of the time; the woman gets everything plus alimony for life. Fact.
The title,  "the problem is men" says all I need to hear.

Marriage has kind of turned into an early retirement system for women . Is there anything in marriage for men?

Knowing how men are treated today, I don't plan to get married. Makes me want one of those Japanese dolls. Or perhaps a mail order bride from a culture that does not treat m'en this way.

Is there anything in marriage for men?  Well, prior to the divorce, he usually gets her best looking years.  He gets his offspring birthed & coddled, a bodily sacrifice sometimes.  Much of the time, he and the offspring get a chauffeur, a bill payer, a banker, an appointment getter don'er, a house keeper, a launderer, a shopper, a mender, a scheduler, a chef, a school volunteer, an organizer, and a nurse.

[Sofia]

There is a thread in this forum representing only the male perspective on the evolution of a marriage.  All of the ladies here (last I checked) respected it and did not challenge or dismiss it.  Please do the same here, for this is just the other side of the coin.