I need the story about this.
Ok
@anniem and
@SpookPumpkin So Mad Jack was a guy that used to work back at the
Island of Misfit Toys . From Wyoming [don't meet too many of them in these parts]. A good man - just a little paranoid is all. Especially about Mrs. Jack - he was one of those fellahs that think every other guy in the world was out to tap onto to his wife. You know that type of dude - I'm sure.
He was going to take his family to the beach for a 3 day weekend once. So on Thursday afternoon, ole Mad Jack walks on over to the ATM machine to grab some cash for the trip. Goes to take the loot out and "Sorry. Your account balance is $5. Insufficient funds available for withdrawal".
He thinks to himself - "Damn that's funny. WTH". So he cruises back to his cube to call the bank and get the scoop. When he gets back he notices a message on his phone from Mrs. Jack. "I've left you. If you want to see your children again, the address is........" Turns out some dude was long dicking Mrs. Jack.
So he kind of staggers out of his cube in a daze. Everyone is like "Yo Jack! Have a good time at the beach man" *Gulp* goes Mad Jack. In a daze he cruises into the head and enters Stall #1 [The tired bowl that had the cradle that Fat Bob designed to give it some support. A picture of the bowl and the miracle cradle is buried in the Heather thread for the curious]. He decides to do away with himself but all he has is this tiny, dull, pocket knife. He starts to try and decapitate his noggin but it is tough going as he starts carving on his neck. Soon enough he decides he wants to live [or at least did not want to die on Fat Bob's bowl] and he staggers out gurgling for help as he did hit windpipe pay dirt eventually.
From there you know the rest of the story. Pandemonium. Paramedics. Followed by Coppers asking questions and Biohazard folks trying to deal with Fat Bob's bowl. So the White Shoe Boys made a new rule - no blades allowed.
