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Rikki Gins Lounge => Random Topics => Topic started by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 04:49:50 PM

Title: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 04:49:50 PM
A couple of months ago my husband moved his father in with us, he is a Viet Nam Veteran and has some questionable language and attitude but that doesn't seem to affect his use of such..  For example today he was baking a ham and as he was getting ready to carve it he said,while he was sharpening the knife, Louie, ( my Boxer dog) this is for all those poor Chinese people who eat dog and then cut both his fore finger and middle finger to the bone.  Blood was all over his hand and down his arm and all he said was,,Louie you get to live another day and wrapped a dish towel around it and served the dinner.  I asked if he needed to  go to the Hospital and he said no, I'll just pour some peroxide on it and wrap it up, if I need stitches I'll give them myself.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 05:06:30 PM
The question I have are all old white men this hard core or is this a generation thing, because my husband will not think twice about using his health benefits
.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 05:17:23 PM
My husband called 911 and all my father-in-law can say he is a wussy that there are no veins or arteries in your fingers and he isn't paying the bill.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 05:19:59 PM
The question I have are all old white men this hard core or is this a generation thing, because my husband will not think twice about using his health benefits
.

Sounds mentally ill to me.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 05:23:10 PM
Sounds mentally ill to me.
My husband or afther in law
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 05:27:24 PM
My husband or afther in law

The father in law.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 05:40:08 PM
0000000000000000000000Well, I relay don't care because he never ever gave once of specter to me but  the paramedics, fire truck and police all came, must be a Mt. Pleasant thing, and now  he argues with the paramedic about finger  inguries and told the paramedic he was clamping arteries when he was just a gleem in his horney dadies eyes.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 05:48:52 PM
WTF we have to pay for the 911 call.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 05:54:58 PM
WTF we have to pay for the 911 call.

Do they take Bart Buck$?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:04:09 PM
he just said to one of the Officers I guess since there are only two of you you are not going to gang me and beat me all the while yelling stop resisting.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 06:06:58 PM
he just said to one of the Officers I guess since there are only two of you you are not going to gang me and beat me all the while yelling stop resisting.

His he wearing a wiffe beater t-shirt?  Does he have a mullet?

I hope you are videotaping this.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:11:28 PM
No he has on cargo shorts and a t-shirt, but he is well known around here and my husband is trying to reason with the police.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: BartEllProducer on November 14, 2018, 06:13:41 PM
His he wearing a wiffe beater t-shirt?  Does he have a mullet?

I hope you are videotaping this.

Hold my beer. Hey y’all watch this!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Walks_At_Night on November 14, 2018, 06:14:13 PM
Wouldn't mind  a peep at the video myself
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 06:18:01 PM
No he has on cargo shorts and a t-shirt, but he is well known around here and my husband is trying to reason with the police.

Hiw much does he drink?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:20:35 PM
Hiw much does he drink?
he drinks bourbon (Makers Mark)
thru ought the day, used to drink rum until that pirate stuff became popular, I would say half a liter a day,, is that too much?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:23:17 PM
now my husband is pissed thsat I called him an old white man
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Walks_At_Night on November 14, 2018, 06:24:20 PM
he drinks bourbon (Makers Mark)
thru ought the day, used to drink rum until that pirate stuff became popular, I would say half a liter a day,, is that too much?

He's fine then.  A real man drinks quarts..................
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:26:01 PM
So nowwe have to pay 275 dollars for nothing.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 06:26:37 PM
he drinks bourbon (Makers Mark)
thru ought the day, used to drink rum until that pirate stuff became popular, I would say half a liter a day,, is that too much?

Definitely three sheets to the wind territory. If he stopped cold turkey there would probably be a good chance of seizures.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 06:27:51 PM
now my husband is pissed thsat I called him an old white man

Is your husband old?

Is he an only child?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:29:40 PM
Definitely three sheets to the wind territory. If he stopped cold turkey there would probably be a good chance of seizures.
We talked to him about how much he drinks and his reply was when you can spit in the Devils face then you you can tell me how much to drink.

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: BartEllProducer on November 14, 2018, 06:32:18 PM
WTF we have to pay for the 911 call.

He said he was fine, he’d stich it up right?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:34:00 PM
He said he was fine, he’d stich it up right?
Yes he did and hw will probaly do thsat unless it will lead to a scar that will add dignity to him
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: BartEllProducer on November 14, 2018, 06:36:05 PM
Yes he did and hw will probaly do thsat unless it will lead to a scar that will add dignity to him

So let him be and let him enjoy his ham.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 14, 2018, 06:39:26 PM
We talked to him about how much he drinks and his reply was when you can spit in the Devils face then you you can tell me how much to drink.

Yeah. Most people with an alcohol problem won’t quit until they lose more than they were willing to lose. Even then sometimes it’s too late. Check out alanon if it starts affecting your life negatively. It’s a support organization for family and friends of people that abuse alcohol. Your husband might benefit from a visit to Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 06:41:25 PM
So let him be and let him enjoy his ham.
If it was just about ham that would be ok, but I have two kids a girl 12 and a boy 14 and they love/follow him like a fairy Tale.  He is the complete opposite of their father, he can fix everything and the neighbor children call him Skips
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: BartEllProducer on November 14, 2018, 06:54:26 PM
If it was just about ham that would be ok, but I have two kids a girl 12 and a boy 14 and they love/follow him like a fairy Tale.  He is the complete opposite of their father, he can fix everything and the neighbor children call him Skips

Like I said, let him be. Is it fair what’s he’s doing/done, probably not. But sometimes the best thing is to just let someone be and when they figure out they’ve mad a fool out of themselves then they can reflect. Some people look for a reaction. Don’t give it to them. If he wants to stich his own fingered up, let him. It will most likely be a painful lesson. Don’t give in to the reaction. If he’s tough as nails, you be tough as nails. Chances are them fingers are gonna hurt like hell.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 14, 2018, 07:02:11 PM
Like I said, let him be. Is it fair what’s he’s doing/done, probably not. But sometimes the best thing is to just let someone be and when they figure out they’ve mad a fool out of themselves then they can reflect. Some people look for a reaction. Don’t give it to them. If he wants to stich his own fingered up, let him. It will most likely be a painful lesson. Don’t give in to the reaction. If he’s tough as nails, you be tough as nails. Chances are them fingers are gonna hurt like hell.
Yes thy willhurt lie hell, but he will chrish the pain, that old shit comes from a different generation, to him pain is a sign of life, I can relate is a ways,, but I hate how he attracts the kids in the neighborhood, he fixes everything and even fixes the cars ij the neighborhood, he can weld, mold and do anything,, just too much for ....
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on November 14, 2018, 08:26:19 PM
Yes thy willhurt lie hell, but he will chrish the pain, that old shit comes from a different generation, to him pain is a sign of life, I can relate is a ways,, but I hate how he attracts the kids in the neighborhood, he fixes everything and even fixes the cars ij the neighborhood, he can weld, mold and do anything,, just too much for ....

He likes to bring up (brag about) things from the past.  He's got some over reliance on drinking.  I wonder if he encounters small problems while making repairs, etc.  "Now let's see, where did I put that fill-er-ups (Philips) screwdriver?"  Not poking fun, just using as an illustration.  Could be some early manifestations of Alzheimer's disease.  I hardly ever watched MASH but I remember Harry Morgan playing a roll where he was an oddball General who had his mind set on court-martialing Hawkeye.  Before he started the proceedings though, he turned to a black MP and said "But first, a number!"  For some reason, reading about you father in law brought that to mind.   
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on November 15, 2018, 05:37:24 AM
Obviously you and your husband are granola eating, soy drinkers who don't understand that life is not free.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Kingfish on November 15, 2018, 06:03:57 AM
Obviously you and your husband are granola eating, soy drinkers who don't understand that life is not free.

Agreed.  They might find listening to and showing him some respect will go a long way.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: DynamoHum on November 15, 2018, 06:29:41 AM
I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady ;)

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 15, 2018, 06:59:26 AM
I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady ;)

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.

Are you a redhead?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: DynamoHum on November 15, 2018, 07:07:33 AM
Are you a redhead?

If left in the sun long enough, yes.
They have a higher pain threshold don’t they?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 15, 2018, 09:47:52 AM
If left in the sun long enough, yes.
They have a higher pain threshold don’t they?

They really do.


And boy can they dish it out.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: DynamoHum on November 15, 2018, 11:00:12 AM
They really do.


And boy can they dish it out.

I’m a kind, loving soul.

Don’t you forget it ;)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 15, 2018, 02:29:59 PM
he just said to one of the Officers I guess since there are only two of you you are not going to gang me and beat me all the while yelling stop resisting.

I've only made it this far and I all ready know I need a coffee table book of quotes with cartoon illustrations. This man is amazing.  ;D
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 15, 2018, 02:31:56 PM
he drinks bourbon (Makers Mark)
thru ought the day, used to drink rum until that pirate stuff became popular, I would say half a liter a day,, is that too much?
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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 15, 2018, 02:33:08 PM
The question I have are all old white men this hard core or is this a generation thing, because my husband will not think twice about using his health benefits
.

30/70!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on November 15, 2018, 02:36:25 PM
If it was just about ham that would be ok, but I have two kids a girl 12 and a boy 14 and they love/follow him like a fairy Tale.  He is the complete opposite of their father, he can fix everything and the neighbor children call him Skips
He seems like a decent guy, mostly. Why waste $, time, and a trip if you can fix it up at home? All these people who rush to the ER because they got a cough or got a cut means people who REALLY need it might have to wait. Also there is always risk of secondary infections or catching someone else's disease at a hospital or ER.  I guess if the cut was that bad you could go to one of those med clinic but it sounds like he has it covered fine: clean the wound, dress the wound, let it heal.

And what is wrong with fixing stuff- including stuff for your neighbors? Ok, maybe the excessive drinking, and certainly the police "interaction," are not a good examples for kids but some toughness,  ability to work mechanically on stuff, and helping out others are. At a certain age you aren't going to change a person (if someone else can really "change" anyone) so I'd say let him go about his ways, unless there is a real danger to children or yourself.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 15, 2018, 02:38:38 PM
I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady ;)

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.

Women often have a higher tolerance of pain than men. Men will SAY they do but it's often not true. I've worked in medicine for many years and believe me women, especially older women, can handle some shit.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 19, 2018, 06:23:57 PM
Well this morning my Father-in-law caught my boxer (dog 1 years old) with a sock between this paws and he said Louie, if you chew this sock I'm gonna chew your ass with my foot, just 15 minutes ago he was (father-in-law) was on all 4's eye to eye with Louie and he was growling at Louie, Louie got up on his back two legs and popped my Dad (from here on out)in the face with his right paw and cut his eye lid I thought the shit was going to hit the fan but he just said "Louie I'll give you that one, you caught me off guard" he just put a cold wash cloth on it and it was bleeding alot and my husband didn't even think to as about telling him he needs stitches since the last time.  Now he is mumbling about what his friends are going to say when they ask him how he got his eye cut and blackened and he has to tell them "That damned dog punched me in the face because I growled at him".  This is true.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 19, 2018, 06:48:04 PM
I've only made it this far and I all ready know I need a coffee table book of quotes with cartoon illustrations. This man is amazing.  ;D
You think that is funny one time he was arguing with one of my friends about jet liners dumping toilet waste over cities and she didn't believe it because there would be doo doo stains on the plane and Dad just said if the plane is moving fast enough to rip the clothes of of someone when they just "What chance does a shit stain in Hell have with that kind of force against it".
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 19, 2018, 06:56:28 PM
Well this morning my Father-in-law caught my boxer (dog 1 years old) with a sock between this paws and he said Louie, if you chew this sock I'm gonna chew your ass with my foot, just 15 minutes ago he was (father-in-law) was on all 4's eye to eye with Louie and he was growling at Louie, Louie got up on his back two legs and popped my Dad (from here on out)in the face with his right paw and cut his eye lid I thought the shit was going to hit the fan but he just said "Louie I'll give you that one, you caught me off guard" he just put a cold wash cloth on it and it was bleeding alot and my husband didn't even think to as about telling him he needs stitches since the last time.  Now he is mumbling about what his friends are going to say when they ask him how he got his eye cut and blackened and he has to tell them "That damned dog punched me in the face because I growled at him".  This is true.

This seems legit! That dog is going to be his best friend! LOL. Your Dad-in-law cracks me up. Seriously, when is the coffee table book coming out?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on November 19, 2018, 07:03:03 PM
Well this morning my Father-in-law caught my boxer (dog 1 years old) with a sock between this paws and he said Louie, if you chew this sock I'm gonna chew your ass with my foot, just 15 minutes ago he was (father-in-law) was on all 4's eye to eye with Louie and he was growling at Louie, Louie got up on his back two legs and popped my Dad (from here on out)in the face with his right paw and cut his eye lid I thought the shit was going to hit the fan but he just said "Louie I'll give you that one, you caught me off guard" he just put a cold wash cloth on it and it was bleeding alot and my husband didn't even think to as about telling him he needs stitches since the last time.  Now he is mumbling about what his friends are going to say when they ask him how he got his eye cut and blackened and he has to tell them "That damned dog punched me in the face because I growled at him".  This is true.

I kind of agree with everyone saying that your father in law is a good old Joe who likes to hang out with friends and do repairs and what not and that his behavior should be fostered.  But there must be a flaw somewhere with him because, after all, he is living with your family.  Absolutely none of my business but is he just getting too old to live by himself?  It's a shame really because now he reminds me of that movie, Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood.  I picture him sitting on his porch with his dog, only unlike Clint, not really caring if the neighborhood kids step on his lawn.  Especially if they are bringing something over that needs fixing. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on November 19, 2018, 07:30:36 PM
I kind of agree with everyone saying that your father in law is a good old Joe who likes to hang out with friends and do repairs and what not and that his behavior should be fostered.  But there must be a flaw somewhere with him because, after all, he is living with your family.  Absolutely none of my business but is he just getting too old to live by himself?  It's a shame really because now he reminds me of that movie, Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood.  I picture him sitting on his porch with his dog, only unlike Clint, not really caring if the neighborhood kids step on his lawn.  Especially if they are bringing something over that needs fixing.
Yeah he seems like a good egg to me. I ask anyone here. When faced with a flood, tornado, hurricane, blizzard, etc do you want as a neighbor an old Marine who likes fixing stuff, likes kids, and is tough? Or a millennial who is an expert on youtube and his phone but can't even change a flat tire? Heck, even in a non-emergency time, which would be better to hang out with at a bbq for good stories?

And it is not surprising that you get into a bit of trouble with a dog, especially a Boxer or certain breeds, if you look 'em eye to eye and down at their level. That is instinctive stuff going on for them. Which is why it is sometimes fun but you can't blame yourself if you get dog bit or scratched. Funny the Boxer decides to "box" him though and hope he disinfected and eye ok.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 19, 2018, 08:25:54 PM
I kind of agree with everyone saying that your father in law is a good old Joe who likes to hang out with friends and do repairs and what not and that his behavior should be fostered.  But there must be a flaw somewhere with him because, after all, he is living with your family.  Absolutely none of my business but is he just getting too old to live by himself?  It's a shame really because now he reminds me of that movie, Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood.  I picture him sitting on his porch with his dog, only unlike Clint, not really caring if the neighborhood kids step on his lawn.  Especially if they are bringing something over that needs fixing.
he is in his 70's, the Police took his guns from him because he is a Viet Nam Vet so he says )I mean about the guns) but I think that has to do with the fact that he pulled a gun on the Water Company man who tried to shut his water off for non-payment but was the next door neighbors bill and he had an unlicensed bar in his house but he didn't charge because the only people who came to drink there was his friends and friends don't charge friends to drink.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on November 20, 2018, 05:05:01 AM
What kind of totalitarian state do you live in? You need a license for a home bar where your friends come to drink? For free? It sounds like you support this totalitarianism. The rigidity expressed in your posts is amazing. Go drink a soy free trade latte.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 20, 2018, 01:43:45 PM
I like your Dad-in-Law stories! He sounds awesome. Don't listen to Juan. Keep telling stories! I'm betting DIL would approve!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 21, 2018, 07:26:53 PM
What kind of totalitarian state do you live in? You need a license for a home bar where your friends come to drink? For free? It sounds like you support this totalitarianism. The rigidity expressed in your posts is amazing. Go drink a soy free trade latte.
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He lived in California at the time.  Along with confiscating his guns they also confiscated his house because his bar was run out of his house so now he lives here with us.  Today he told one of my husband's friends that was helping with Thanksgiving Dinner, let me try to get this how he said it " Son, if you ever do that around me again, you are going to look mighty stupid when you have to tell the Dr. at the E.R. why my foot is broke off in your ass." ( He stuck is hand down the back of his pants and scratched his butt then ran his finger in front of his nose.)  DeAndre just looked at my Dad and said what? I was just checking to see if they smelled, and Dad replied " I'm about this close (holding up a finger and thumb about an inch apart) from breaking my foot off in your ass right now and save the time."

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on November 21, 2018, 07:50:40 PM
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He lived in California at the time.  Along with confiscating his guns they also confiscated his house because his bar was run out of his house so now he lives here with us.  Today he told one of my husband's friends that was helping with Thanksgiving Dinner, let me try to get this how he said it " Son, if you ever do that around me again, you are going to look mighty stupid when you have to tell the Dr. at the E.R. why my foot is broke off in your ass." ( He stuck is hand down the back of his pants and scratched his butt then ran his finger in front of his nose.)  DeAndre just looked at my Dad and said what? I was just checking to see if they smelled, and Dad replied " I'm about this close (holding up a finger and thumb about an inch apart) from breaking my foot off in your ass right now and save the time."

Well, I guess we can say that your father in law has anger issues, but wow, what an odd way to show them.  Really though, you have a very interesting thread here, A.B.  Keep up the good work.  I'm sure that a lot of us are interested in your father in law's further adventures. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: DynamoHum on November 22, 2018, 06:53:55 AM
He reminds me of my dad ... a curmudgeonly stubborn old bugger, but you kind of warm to him. Keep the stories coming!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 22, 2018, 11:33:16 PM
he drinks bourbon (Makers Mark)
thru ought the day, used to drink rum until that pirate stuff became popular, I would say half a liter a day,, is that too much?
Late to this party.  ",,,,is that too much?"  I hear the words but I don't know what they mean.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 22, 2018, 11:37:12 PM
Yes thy willhurt lie hell, but he will chrish the pain, that old shit comes from a different generation, to him pain is a sign of life, I can relate is a ways,, but I hate how he attracts the kids in the neighborhood, he fixes everything and even fixes the cars ij the neighborhood, he can weld, mold and do anything,, just too much for ....

Cherish the pain?  Correct me if I am wrong here, but I do think the word that would most transfer the idea of what your FIL is.... Relish.      He will relish the pain.    Real Men relish the pain.  Hell, we can even groove on the pain.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 22, 2018, 11:39:01 PM
Obviously you and your husband are granola eating, soy drinkers who don't understand that life is not free.

Juanito, go easy, bro.  She and her husband are probably very.... sensitive.   
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 22, 2018, 11:47:01 PM
he is in his 70's, the Police took his guns from him because he is a Viet Nam Vet so he says )I mean about the guns) but I think that has to do with the fact that he pulled a gun on the Water Company man who tried to shut his water off for non-payment but was the next door neighbors bill and he had an unlicensed bar in his house but he didn't charge because the only people who came to drink there was his friends and friends don't charge friends to drink.

You live in California or NY?  Because that is some bullshit.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on November 24, 2018, 02:54:58 AM
They really do.


And boy can they dish it out.
Hence my situation, lol.  Red hot lady at least once a week!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on November 24, 2018, 02:56:48 AM
Late to this party.  ",,,,is that too much?"  I hear the words but I don't know what they mean.
Half a liter of booze is a lot, but liters actually are much smaller than they look, because our two-liters containers have large false bottoms.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on November 24, 2018, 03:38:03 AM
I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady ;)

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.
Ouch!

As for the other comment about women taking pain better, I've read that estrogen is a pain killer.  When I had a lot of estrogen, little things never hurt.  Now though, with less estrogen, I can see why some men bawl over papercuts.

I agree with your relative about latrine dumps from planes.  I have smelled urine as planes have flown over.  Not very often, though. 

Sometimes it's better not to get stitches.  Stitches stop gaping wounds and prevent scarring.  But they also do a lot of nerve damage in fingers, and can lead to neuromas.  As long as he controlled the bleeding and gets the wound to stop gaping, he will probably be fine.  I don't avoid hospitals but did you know THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF DEATH HERE IS HOSPITAL ERROR, OFFICIALLY!  Just walking into a hospital, one risks getting sick or fatally sick.  Hospitals don't allow daylight in, to kill germs, and they don't allow fresh air in, either.  Many buildings don't, and society ends up with building-specific outbreaks of norovirus and Legionnaire's disease, which are potentially fatal, especially in the elderly and infants.  I have met three people (2 men and one woman) who recently acquired antibiotic-resistant superbug infections that required deep cuts and disfiguration to remove from their flesh.  They were fortunate to live.  Hospitals know that hand sanitizer is vital in reducing infections.  They know that the hand sanitizers which kill e-coli are not the same hand sanitizers that kill the flu.  When it comes to hand sanitizers, and germs, there are at least two different categories.  But instead of making employees use two sanitizers, they only use one, leaving the e-coli end of the loop open.  THEY ALL, if they weren't so evil, could simply use a vinegar solution to kill e-coli type germs.

I didn't quite understand how your relative came to nearly cut his fingers off!  But based on what you said, he might have obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd).  I would discreetly limit his access to the dog when he is blotto.  Hopefully he wouldn't ever hurt the.dog, but it sounded like maybe he was resisting a compulsion.

As for being charged for the dispatch, what state are you in?  Your state might have a law regarding "duty to call for aid", also known as "duty to rescue" laws which might have required you to call for help for a gaping wound.  Also, your state might have a good samaritan law, which might possibly exempt you fro having to pay for trying to get him help.  You also might have a case if he was drunk when he refused help, trying to help someone who was too incapacitated to make their own decision.  It sounds like it would be worth it to at least write a dispute letter and see how far you get.  Most lawyers will give a short, free consultation over the phone, even if they don't think you will hire them.

The interaction between him and the dog as he cut himself sounds like a mental illness.  Document the date, time, place, and names and contact information every time something like this happens.  Because if there is a pattern of him being a danger to himself or others, then mental health treatment can be forced upon him.  He could be taken to a facility for 72 hours, and possibly medicated.

Also, if he ever becomes legally incompetent, documenting now will make any future incompetence proceedings easier.  Some people have a guardian ad litem who makes decisions for them.  Others have a conservator who controls their money.  Read the National Association to Stop Guardianship Abuse, because the system can be okay, but also can be so crooked as to deeply hurt/abuse/rip off the citizens it is supposed to protect.

He sounds like an entertaining character, and a people person.  He probably needs a support group of vets, treatment for any psychological disturbances, and to go easy on the alcohol.  Whether or not a liter is a lot, he sounds like other alcoholics I've known.  It would be kind of you to present foods he likes when he is drinking, to help his brain and organs.  If he is just a character, though, there is sure nothing wrong with that.  His speech is harsh, but hopefully he wont tick off the wrong person.  Him being at home might be good for him. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 26, 2018, 07:34:54 PM
Well this is not a funny thing he said but what he did, during Thanksgiving Dad took a can of SPAM, scored it, put cloves in the crossings, a pineapple slice with cherry in the whole on top of it and baked it, then nuked a microwave sweet potato put butter cinnamon, nutmeg and maple syrup on it,a small pecan pie (one that comes 3 in a pack that you get in the lunch isle at a store, a Hawaiian roll, small ear of extra sweet corn ( he boiled in sugar water) and a few other things, with a bottle of MD 20/20 boxed them up and disappeared for about 4 hours, came home and that was it,, kind of funny if you ask me.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 26, 2018, 07:39:47 PM
Well this is not a funny thing he said but what he did, during Thanksgiving Dad took a can of SPAM, scored it, put cloves in the crossings, a pineapple slice with cherry in the whole on top of it and baked it, then nuked a microwave sweet potato put butter cinnamon, nutmeg and maple syrup on it,a small pecan pie (one that comes 3 in a pack that you get in the lunch isle at a store, a Hawaiian roll, small ear of extra sweet corn ( he boiled in sugar water) and a few other things, with a bottle of MD 20/20 boxed them up and disappeared for about 4 hours, came home and that was it,, kind of funny if you ask me.

Dude sounds like he has survival skills.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on November 26, 2018, 11:44:07 PM
Well this is not a funny thing he said but what he did, during Thanksgiving Dad took a can of SPAM, scored it, put cloves in the crossings, a pineapple slice with cherry in the whole on top of it and baked it, then nuked a microwave sweet potato put butter cinnamon, nutmeg and maple syrup on it,a small pecan pie (one that comes 3 in a pack that you get in the lunch isle at a store, a Hawaiian roll, small ear of extra sweet corn ( he boiled in sugar water) and a few other things, with a bottle of MD 20/20 boxed them up and disappeared for about 4 hours, came home and that was it,, kind of funny if you ask me.
That is intriguing.  I wonder if he shared a po' man's Thanksgiving with a homeless person.  How old is your dad?  What state was he mostly raised in?  This was the dedicated, creative, methodical, humorous side of him.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Belles on November 27, 2018, 12:15:12 AM
I really enjoy this thread.  Your father-in-law sounds like a character.  Do look in to AlaNon. One of the best decisions I ever made.

Please, keep posting!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 27, 2018, 01:35:59 AM
Well this is not a funny thing he said but what he did, during Thanksgiving Dad took a can of SPAM, scored it, put cloves in the crossings, a pineapple slice with cherry in the whole on top of it and baked it, then nuked a microwave sweet potato put butter cinnamon, nutmeg and maple syrup on it,a small pecan pie (one that comes 3 in a pack that you get in the lunch isle at a store, a Hawaiian roll, small ear of extra sweet corn ( he boiled in sugar water) and a few other things, with a bottle of MD 20/20 boxed them up and disappeared for about 4 hours, came home and that was it,, kind of funny if you ask me.

Maybe he went out to deliver a meal?  Shit lady, them sounds like Good Eats to me.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on November 27, 2018, 02:47:19 AM
Cinnamon and nutmeg are bad enough, but maple syrup on a sweet potato?
As others have said, it sounds like he made a food delivery to someone with a severe sugar addiction.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 29, 2018, 08:24:34 PM
That is intriguing.  I wonder if he shared a po' man's Thanksgiving with a homeless person.  How old is your dad?  What state was he mostly raised in?  This was the dedicated, creative, methodical, humorous side of him.
He is my father -in-law and he is in his 70's, originally from Punxsutawney, Pa where you used to get free vanilla ice cream and apple pie all day long on Ground Hog Day, he has a lot of friends ans some may be homeless.
 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 29, 2018, 08:29:57 PM
Funny thing today was he was outside withLouie (my Boxer dog) and he say Louie looking at that little pitbull across the street and he said louieif you make a move towards that rank bitch of a dog i will move my foot across your ass.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: ACE OF CLUBS on November 29, 2018, 08:57:41 PM
George Noory sucks . . . .
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 29, 2018, 08:59:47 PM
Funny thing today was he was outside withLouie (my Boxer dog) and he say Louie looking at that little pitbull across the street and he said louieif you make a move towards that rank bitch of a dog i will move my foot across your ass.
I totally appreciate him laying the ground rules. At least the dog knows where the line is.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 29, 2018, 09:03:06 PM
Funny thing today was he was outside withLouie (my Boxer dog) and he say Louie looking at that little pitbull across the street and he said louieif you make a move towards that rank bitch of a dog i will move my foot across your ass.

You should get him to sign up for an account here.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 29, 2018, 09:07:38 PM
You should get him to sign up for an account here.
Would you really want to here him all day every day?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 29, 2018, 09:09:55 PM
Would you really want to here him all day every day?

We could ask him all kinds of questions about how to fix stuff. But some people may troll him.

It might keep him off the streets.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 29, 2018, 09:31:27 PM
We could ask him all kinds of questions about how to fix stuff. But some people may troll him.

It might keep him off the streets.
I like where youare going with this
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 29, 2018, 09:33:27 PM
I like where youare going with this

@albrecht might get the answer he’s looking for about pruning lantanas.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 29, 2018, 09:37:30 PM
@albrecht might get the answer he’s looking for about pruning lantanas.
if that is aplant he has AN ANSWER FOR IT
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 29, 2018, 11:14:30 PM
Would you really want to here him all day every day?

With all the Tards that we put up with?  Yes.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 30, 2018, 10:05:05 AM
Dad -in-law says that Japanese are not orientals/asians and that they are a race unto themselves,, he said just look at the ass and it tells you everything,, I thing he has a thing for asses, everything has to due with ass with him..Break my foot off in your ass, bust your'e ass and anything else you can add ass to and he also likes the country songby  Justin Moore I Could Kick Your Ass
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on November 30, 2018, 10:24:38 AM
Dad -in-law says that Japanese are not orientals/asians and that they are a race unto themselves
The Japanese agree with him.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 30, 2018, 10:37:34 AM
Yesterday my DIL(dad in law) told my son who is 14, who was bullied in school  look, you're 5 '10' AND WEIGH 175 LBS KICK their ass till next week,, put those genes to work.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on November 30, 2018, 10:53:07 AM
if that is aplant he has AN ANSWER FOR IT
Ask him if I can prune back my Lantanas now (we've had a hard freeze but now it is going to be almost 80 today) or if I should wait until the end of winter or beginning of spring, as I've been told in the past. But there is conflicting information on the interwebs and they look ugly now.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on November 30, 2018, 10:58:24 AM
Yesterday my DIL(dad in law) told my son who is 14, who was bullied in school  look, you're 5 '10' AND WEIGH 175 LBS KICK their ass till next week,, put those genes to work.
I assume it is a public school which encourage wimps and all kinds of crazy lefty, stuff. I tend to agree with your father-in-law, who seems like a good guy of the old school. However the caveat is if done at school your son risks getting labeled, or worse. Schools have a "zero tolerance," (how is that for hypocrisy since they teach "tolerance" more than they do math,) and prosecute etc the victim who fights back or stands up for himself or others. So if a fight must happen it should be done after school. We would have a deal "meet in the woods after school" kind of thing. Of course this is also when folks would fight and it usually consisted of a few bad punches thrown and then folks would break it up and everyone went home. And often former pugilists would become friends and laugh about it later as years go on- not gangfights, knives, kung-fu, guns, etc they have now. So I can't give advice....
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 30, 2018, 11:22:07 AM
Ask him if I can prune back my Lantanas now (we've had a hard freeze but now it is going to be almost 80 today) or if I should wait until the end of winter or beginning of spring, as I've been told in the past. But there is conflicting information on the interwebs and they look ugly now.
Dad said Latinas should never be stiffled, they shoul be able to run their ciurse thus a happy magage
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on November 30, 2018, 01:03:04 PM
Dad said Latinas should never be stiffled, they shoul be able to run their ciurse thus a happy magage
Ha. Good luck stifling a feisty Latina. Your father in law has some smarts.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 30, 2018, 01:17:49 PM
Yesterday my DIL(dad in law) told my son who is 14, who was bullied in school  look, you're 5 '10' AND WEIGH 175 LBS KICK their ass till next week,, put those genes to work.
This actually makes sense if the bullying is occurring multiple times from the same person. Your DIL should remind him to do it off school property too.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 30, 2018, 01:18:36 PM
Dad said Latinas should never be stiffled, they shoul be able to run their ciurse thus a happy magage
I don't think I speak this language. Can I have an interpreter please?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on November 30, 2018, 01:26:13 PM
I don't think I speak this language. Can I have an interpreter please?

I think she was saying that her father-in-law was joking saying that one shouldn't try to stifle a Latina and that they should be allowed to run their course and that makes a happier marriage?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on November 30, 2018, 01:57:24 PM
Yesterday my DIL(dad in law) told my son who is 14, who was bullied in school  look, you're 5 '10' AND WEIGH 175 LBS KICK their ass till next week,, put those genes to work.

The best way to treat bullies is with a Jack Dempsey attack.  At the sound of the bell, come out swinging before your opponent knows what is happening.  Sure, the bully will try to punch back but the centrifugal force will be on your son's side and the bully should be pushed back, crashing into lockers, toilet stall doors, or wherever the bullying was taking place.  And don't let your son feel guilty about being expelled.  When he returns after a few days, the girls will think he's a hero.  At least this worked for me, back in the 1960's.   
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 30, 2018, 02:29:42 PM
The best way to treat bullies is with a Jack Dempsey attack.  At the sound of the bell, come out swinging before your opponent knows what is happening.  Sure, the bully will try to punch back but the centrifugal force will be on your son's side and the bully should be pushed back, crashing into lockers, toilet stall doors, or wherever the bullying was taking place.  And don't let your son feel guilty about being expelled.  When he returns after a few days, the girls will think he's a hero.  At least this worked for me, back in the 1960's.   

Just don’t stab them in the stomach with a chisel in wood shop.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on November 30, 2018, 02:34:59 PM
Just don’t stab them in the stomach with a chisel in wood shop.
Experience?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 30, 2018, 02:52:41 PM
Experience?

Today one would probably go to jail. I heard the person that did that got 1 week of after school detention.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 30, 2018, 03:31:07 PM
The best way to treat bullies is with a Jack Dempsey attack.  At the sound of the bell, come out swinging before your opponent knows what is happening.  Sure, the bully will try to punch back but the centrifugal force will be on your son's side and the bully should be pushed back, crashing into lockers, toilet stall doors, or wherever the bullying was taking place.  And don't let your son feel guilty about being expelled.  When he returns after a few days, the girls will think he's a hero.  At least this worked for me, back in the 1960's.   
  Don't hit them in the walkway near the lockers with a book bag full of schoolbooks.  While my Marine recruiter loved this kind of payback ( 'extreme violence upon the &*%#+' ) the legal authorities of the day, 1980, did state they would take my young ass to jail.  Next time. (My dad was a cop.  Professional courtesy)


I'm all for dealing violence back upon bullies.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 30, 2018, 03:33:52 PM
I think she was saying that her father-in-law was joking saying that one shouldn't try to stifle a Latina and that they should be allowed to run their course and that makes a happier marriage?

Ohhh! huh. Most of the Latina friends I have had a pretty damn fiesty, but their Moms are nice...so maybe they mellow like fine wine? Once again DIL may be coming through with solid advice! LOL
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 30, 2018, 03:36:45 PM
The best way to treat bullies is with a Jack Dempsey attack.  At the sound of the bell, come out swinging before your opponent knows what is happening.  Sure, the bully will try to punch back but the centrifugal force will be on your son's side and the bully should be pushed back, crashing into lockers, toilet stall doors, or wherever the bullying was taking place.  And don't let your son feel guilty about being expelled.  When he returns after a few days, the girls will think he's a hero.  At least this worked for me, back in the 1960's.   
Ya, just about the only time a kid shouldn't be punished for expulsion is standing up for him/herself. But then again, if you read this board in general I'm not sure I'd take parenting advise from our well of wisdom! LOL
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on November 30, 2018, 03:40:50 PM
Experience?

Ha, ha. My Uncle was actually a wood shop teacher and sawed off his thumb with a bandsaw while teaching a beginning wood shop safety class. He wrapped it up and one of the kids retrieved his thumb for him. He had it encased in plastic and now uses it as a paper weight.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on November 30, 2018, 09:31:32 PM
I don't think I speak this language. Can I have an interpreter please?
Sorry about the grammar, I was three sheets to the wind at the time.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on November 30, 2018, 09:37:19 PM
Sorry about the grammar, I was three sheets to the wind at the time.

Trying to match the old man shot for shot is not going to go well for you. LOL
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on November 30, 2018, 09:41:28 PM
Trying to match the old man shot for shot is not going to go well for you. LOL

I think I read this dirty novel.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 02, 2018, 05:01:16 PM
Trying to match the old man shot for shot is not going to go well for you. LOL
[/quote
Shot for shot I don't think so, he spent 20 years in the Army and has a bunch of rifles and handguns and shoots just to hear boom and smell the powder (in his own words).
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 04, 2018, 01:08:13 AM
Trying to match the old man shot for shot is not going to go well for you. LOL
[/quote
Shot for shot I don't think so, he spent 20 years in the Army and has a bunch of rifles and handguns and shoots just to hear boom and smell the powder (in his own words).

I know what he means.  If only the Yankee Candle company made a scented candle with the smell of spent brass and CLP.  I might be able to sleep through the night.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on December 04, 2018, 01:56:59 PM
I know what he means.  If only the Yankee Candle company made a scented candle with the smell of spent brass and CLP.  I might be able to sleep through the night.

From Amazon's comments and questions:


Question:
Will this be a good deodorant to use for picking up chicks in Oceanside?

Answer:
Yea sure. .just hose urself down with it...you will slip right in. Bonehead!!!
By hancockwmr on March 10, 2016

It will keep your armpits from rusting so you've got that going for you.
By Billy magnum on March 28, 2016

Yes, totally! I've been using it for months now with great success.
By B! on March 10, 2016
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 04, 2018, 11:38:26 PM
From Amazon's comments and questions:


Question:
Will this be a good deodorant to use for picking up chicks in Oceanside?

Answer:
Yea sure. .just hose urself down with it...you will slip right in. Bonehead!!!
By hancockwmr on March 10, 2016

It will keep your armpits from rusting so you've got that going for you.
By Billy magnum on March 28, 2016

Yes, totally! I've been using it for months now with great success.
By B! on March 10, 2016
:D ;) ;D
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 06, 2018, 06:14:32 PM
The best way to treat bullies is with a Jack Dempsey attack.  At the sound of the bell, come out swinging before your opponent knows what is happening.  Sure, the bully will try to punch back but the centrifugal force will be on your son's side and the bully should be pushed back, crashing into lockers, toilet stall doors, or wherever the bullying was taking place.  And don't let your son feel guilty about being expelled.  When he returns after a few days, the girls will think he's a hero.  At least this worked for me, back in the 1960's.   
I don't condone fighting, but Rikki Gins is right.  I learned this when my silvertip black lab and my temporary rescue American bulldog became unsequestered one time.  Oops.  I silently said goodbye to my lab, prepared myself for his death.  But he was experienced, and the bulldog was not.  My lab won the fight, fought fast and hard, probably with an element of surprise.  The bulldog stopped after he got bit a couple times.  I was really amazed, because the bulldog seemed by far the stronger, more dangerous breed. 

But my dog did pull a disappearing act when two huge rottweillers were running at large on a beach we were at.  I cut through yards, too, but he got home way before I did.  Size, age, backup, experience, surprise, and home advantage ALL matter.  And that's not even considering weapons.  Creepy. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 06, 2018, 06:20:38 PM
Ya, just about the only time a kid shouldn't be punished for expulsion is standing up for him/herself. But then again, if you read this board in general I'm not sure I'd take parenting advise from our well of wisdom! LOL
In fifth grade, an acquaintence tried to take my jump rope from me.  All I did was stand my ground.  Never fought back, never cussed.  Just held onto my jump rope and told her to back off.  But was punished with six months of weekly visits to the school counselor.   With whom I stood my ground and did not back down.  Pretty brave for a kid, but I had nothing to admit.  My grades took the brunt that year, missing an hour of class every week.  Ought to be illegal to take a kid out of class when they will be tested on that material.

If I'd known the punishment was going to affect my grades and waste my time, I would have (and probably should have) done more than just stand my ground.  But I gave her grace because we'd known each other a long time and she had never bothered anyone that I know of.  I wonder what got into her that day.  She never caused a problem again.  Such an isolated thing.  Mind control?  Twinkie syndrome?  It turned out she had also been forced to visit the school counselor weekly.  At the end of many weeks, a surprise mutual visit to the counselor was arranged.  Of course we both felt tricked, so any goodwill the counselor had disappeared right then.  I saw it in her eyes, too.  Better to fight it out ourselves than waste time with a pothead shrink.  The final trick visit was very unproductive, as he hadn't gotten any further with her than he had with me.  So she was unapologetic, and without any apology from her, I was still indignant.  I hope school counseling has improved. He smoked during our sessions.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on December 06, 2018, 06:22:18 PM
I don't condone fighting, but Rikki Gins is right.  I learned this when my silvertip black lab and my temporary rescue American bulldog became unsequestered one time.  Oops.  I silently said goodbye to my lab, prepared myself for his death.  But he was experienced, and the bulldog was not.  My lab won the fight, fought fast and hard, probably with an element of surprise.  The bulldog stopped after he got bit a couple times.  I was really amazed, because the bulldog seemed by far the stronger, more dangerous breed. 

But my dog did pull a disappearing act when two huge rottweillers were running at large on a beach we were at.  I cut through yards, too, but he got home way before I did.  Size, age, backup, experience, surprise, and home advantage ALL matter.  And that's not even considering weapons.  Creepy.

I'm very glad that your lab was all right, Sofia.   
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 06, 2018, 06:37:01 PM
I'm very glad that your lab was all right, Sofia.   
So was I.  I heard he'd been attacked several times as a youngster.  Apparently he learned some things.  I got very lucky that day.  Saving that bulldog was getting in over my head.  It's hard to sequester perfectly for so long.  I only made a couple mistakes, but mistakes just cannot happen in sequestration. Anyhow the bulldog finally ended up getting a plushy forever home and my lab lived a long time after that.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 07, 2018, 05:40:54 PM
I don't condone fighting, but Rikki Gins is right.  I learned this when my silvertip black lab and my temporary rescue American bulldog became unsequestered one time.  Oops.  I silently said goodbye to my lab, prepared myself for his death.  But he was experienced, and the bulldog was not.  My lab won the fight, fought fast and hard, probably with an element of surprise.  The bulldog stopped after he got bit a couple times.  I was really amazed, because the bulldog seemed by far the stronger, more dangerous breed. 

But my dog did pull a disappearing act when two huge rottweillers were running at large on a beach we were at.  I cut through yards, too, but he got home way before I did.  Size, age, backup, experience, surprise, and home advantage ALL matter.  And that's not even considering weapons.  Creepy.
That must of been a fast fight or a long drawn out one.  Was the American bulldog a young one, if so it takes them awhile to get to understand their strength and power and not act like a big puppy.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 07, 2018, 06:08:57 PM
today I did laundry and while taking up DIL's towels and things to his room (he has his own bathroom) I noticed that he has a .45 auto in a baggie taped to the shower wall.  When DIL got home I had his son (my husband) talk to him about it because we prefer to have the firearms locked in the safe.  He said what ever is in his room is his and to keep our cock-Skinner's off his stuff and besides what are you going to do if you are taking a shower and someone breaks in and comes to bathroom, wave your pecker or boobs at him while you are getting your naked ass kicked? We also found that he has one taped under the coffee-table next to the chair he sits in when he reads and one in his work shed, I just about lost my mind and he acts like it is a normal thing.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on December 07, 2018, 06:13:59 PM
today I did laundry and while taking up DIL's towels and things to his room (he has his own bathroom) I noticed that he has a .45 auto in a baggie taped to the shower wall.  When DIL got home I had his son (my husband) talk to him about it because we prefer to have the firearms locked in the safe.  He said what ever is in his room is his and to keep our cock-Skinner's off his stuff and besides what are you going to do if you are taking a shower and someone breaks in and comes to bathroom, wave your pecker or boobs at him while you are getting your naked ass kicked? We also found that he has one taped under the coffee-table next to the chair he sits in when he reads and one in his work shed, I just about lost my mind and he acts like it is a normal thing.

If you have kids in the house you shouldn’t tolerate that.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on December 07, 2018, 06:15:21 PM
today I did laundry and while taking up DIL's towels and things to his room (he has his own bathroom) I noticed that he has a .45 auto in a baggie taped to the shower wall.  When DIL got home I had his son (my husband) talk to him about it because we prefer to have the firearms locked in the safe.  He said what ever is in his room is his and to keep our cock-Skinner's off his stuff and besides what are you going to do if you are taking a shower and someone breaks in and comes to bathroom, wave your pecker or boobs at him while you are getting your naked ass kicked? We also found that he has one taped under the coffee-table next to the chair he sits in when he reads and one in his work shed, I just about lost my mind and he acts like it is a normal thing.

LOL The baggy thing is funny. We had some friends that moved furniture from one apartment to one in the same building and totally he forgot to remove his loaded pistol he keeps in the couch, until it fell out trying to get the couch through the door. They have a kid now so they're a little more careful. You need to get your son into a gun safety class and maybe get him comfortable. You don't want him messing around in Grandpas room because he's curious but doesn't feel safe asking about firearms.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 07, 2018, 07:59:43 PM
today I did laundry and while taking up DIL's towels and things to his room (he has his own bathroom) I noticed that he has a .45 auto in a baggie taped to the shower wall.  When DIL got home I had his son (my husband) talk to him about it because we prefer to have the firearms locked in the safe.  He said what ever is in his room is his and to keep our cock-Skinner's off his stuff and besides what are you going to do if you are taking a shower and someone breaks in and comes to bathroom, wave your pecker or boobs at him while you are getting your naked ass kicked? We also found that he has one taped under the coffee-table next to the chair he sits in when he reads and one in his work shed, I just about lost my mind and he acts like it is a normal thing.

I don't keep one in the shower, but I do have one in the shitter.  I keep one in my bedroom side table.  When  my wife is traveling, it's under my pillow.  *shrug* I carry one daily.  I have a shotgun in the garage and a couple more in the house.  A pair of rifles, somewhere in the house.  It's not paranoia.  It's being prepared. Hell, I also carry an E-Tool and a hachet in my car.
 Nobody is going to get 'the drop' on your FIL (or me) and if it comes, it's gonna be a gunfight.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 07, 2018, 08:23:38 PM
I don't keep one in the shower, but I do have one in the shitter.  I keep one in my bedroom side table.  When  my wife is traveling, it's under my pillow.  *shrug* I carry one daily.  I have a shotgun in the garage and a couple more in the house.  A pair of rifles, somewhere in the house.  It's not paranoia.  It's being prepared. Hell, I also carry an E-Tool and a hachet in my car.
 Nobody is going to get 'the drop' on your FIL (or me) and if it comes, it's gonna be a gunfight.
Funny about so doe he have an e-tool, one of the old ones with the wooden handle and the folding spade and pick, he keeps it right behind the seat with an axe, d-handle shovel and a sledge and a what he calls it a tanker's bar, he calls them pioneer Tools.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 07, 2018, 08:51:56 PM
Maybe everyone would feel better if they used a clear shower curtain and locked the bathroom door, and secured their premises before they shower.  I like clear prism curtains because you can see figures that move, yet your modesty is preserved.  They also work as good cafe curtains in bedrooms/bathrooms, allowing plenty of light in, preserving modesty, and if you attach them to a rod, by inserting curtain holders into the punch hole side, they can be pushed open at times.  Next best thing to window adhesives or window coverings.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 07, 2018, 08:57:01 PM
Funny about so doe he have an e-tool, one of the old ones with the wooden handle and the folding spade and pick, he keeps it right behind the seat with an axe, d-handle shovel and a sledge and a what he calls it a tanker's bar, he calls them pioneer Tools.

That Tankers Bar is scary item. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 07, 2018, 08:58:28 PM
Maybe everyone would feel better if they used a clear shower curtain and locked the bathroom door, and secured their premises before they shower.  I like clear prism curtains because you can see figures that move, yet your modesty is preserved.  They also work as good cafe curtains in bedrooms/bathrooms, allowing plenty of light in, preserving modesty, and if you attach them to a rod, by inserting curtain holders into the punch hole side, they can be pushed open at times.  Next best thing to window adhesives or window coverings.

And maybe we could also serve espresso with a twist of lemon.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on December 07, 2018, 09:01:50 PM
That Tankers Bar is scary item.
What is a tankers bar?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on December 07, 2018, 09:02:29 PM
And maybe we could also serve espresso with a twist of lemon.
I'll take a shot of espresso and a gin martini with a twist since you're offering.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 07, 2018, 09:50:27 PM
What is a tankers bar?

Hmmm.  IIRC, the one I saw was about 4 feet long, weighed about 20 lbs(?) was pointed on one end, like a big toothpick, with a rounded or somewhat curled end.  Hardened steel.

It's been over 30 years since I rode with the Tankers.  So I might have been off on the weight.  Anybody remember more clearly?  (Shut up, miller, I'm talking to the men on this forum) 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 07, 2018, 09:51:09 PM
I'll take a shot of espresso and a gin martini with a twist since you're offering.

Careful, start me drinking and I become a fun date.  Just ask Die Frau.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on December 07, 2018, 09:53:32 PM
Careful, start me drinking and I become a fun date.  Just ask Die Frau.
Which one?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on December 08, 2018, 01:10:39 PM
What is a tankers bar?
I can't find any mil-spec on it but I see listing as "Bar, Pry, 60" "  So, basically, a big, straight iron pry bar used to align tracks, open crates, pry heavy items, etc. Apparently there is a nickle aluminum bronze and beryllium-copper variety that is OSHA etc approved for use in places where sparks can be a safety concern.  But the kind we are talking about here would be more likely used in things like taking out stumps, breaking up rock and we would call it a "rock bar" and it longer than things like "breaking bars" and stuff for demo work.  I would not have in my truck since long and heavy unless specifically going out for those purposes but several in my shed.  I would think a bit unwieldy to use as a decent weapon....
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on December 08, 2018, 01:15:07 PM
today I did laundry and while taking up DIL's towels and things to his room (he has his own bathroom) I noticed that he has a .45 auto in a baggie taped to the shower wall.  When DIL got home I had his son (my husband) talk to him about it because we prefer to have the firearms locked in the safe.  He said what ever is in his room is his and to keep our cock-Skinner's off his stuff and besides what are you going to do if you are taking a shower and someone breaks in and comes to bathroom, wave your pecker or boobs at him while you are getting your naked ass kicked? We also found that he has one taped under the coffee-table next to the chair he sits in when he reads and one in his work shed, I just about lost my mind and he acts like it is a normal thing.

Christmas is coming up. Maybe you could gift him some of those fast-opening handgun mini-safes. He could mount them in various places. There are some that use finger/palm print or codes and/or both? There likely are even other "high-tech" options now that open with a fob or via remote (who knows.)  You obviously need to teach children to not touch guns they find but the other problem is their friends, so you are right to be concerned. And he should also take responsibility when he is living in your home a bit. If he has his own place, or his quarters are locked and not accessible, that is another matter.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 11, 2018, 01:45:13 PM
I can't find any mil-spec on it but I see listing as "Bar, Pry, 60" "  So, basically, a big, straight iron pry bar used to align tracks, open crates, pry heavy items, etc. Apparently there is a nickle aluminum bronze and beryllium-copper variety that is OSHA etc approved for use in places where sparks can be a safety concern.  But the kind we are talking about here would be more likely used in things like taking out stumps, breaking up rock and we would call it a "rock bar" and it longer than things like "breaking bars" and stuff for demo work.  I would not have in my truck since long and heavy unless specifically going out for those purposes but several in my shed.  I would think a bit unwieldy to use as a decent weapon....
yep that is it, big pry bar
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 11, 2018, 01:48:35 PM
yesterday we had a birthday party for my little girl and one of my friends asked FIN if he liked her hair, he said sure if it is yours otherwise I pity the poor horse who got shaved for your hair,, she said I'll have you know that this is human hair and re replied I pity the poor Indian girl who had to shave her head so you can claim her hair as yours.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on December 11, 2018, 05:28:07 PM
yesterday we had a birthday party for my little girl and one of my friends asked FIN if he liked her hair, he said sure if it is yours otherwise I pity the poor horse who got shaved for your hair,, she said I'll have you know that this is human hair and re replied I pity the poor Indian girl who had to shave her head so you can claim her hair as yours.
He's a tactful one! LOL
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on December 11, 2018, 06:41:39 PM
yesterday we had a birthday party for my little girl and one of my friends asked FIN if he liked her hair, he said sure if it is yours otherwise I pity the poor horse who got shaved for your hair,, she said I'll have you know that this is human hair and re replied I pity the poor Indian girl who had to shave her head so you can claim her hair as yours.

Your FIL sounds like my long dead uncle who used to sing the words "Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy" whenever he saw one of my older brothers.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 12, 2018, 01:02:58 AM
And maybe we could also serve espresso with a twist of lemon.
Orange essence would be better! Seriously, though, a clear shower curtain makes it harder for anyone to surprise the person who is bathing.  The visibility should be enough time to grab your tool of choice.  Go with that one.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 13, 2018, 04:15:42 PM
Father in Law looks just like Jack Palance, I wish i could post a pic of him but he thinks that pictures steal your soul and he said that if anyone ever took a picture of him that he would stuff that camera so fat up their ass that the flach would be seen in their eyes,, again another ass thing.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 13, 2018, 04:20:44 PM
Well, this is do not disturb time, FIL is online playing Lord of the Rings, go figure the Old man actually enjoys something besides sarcasm.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on December 13, 2018, 04:27:15 PM
Well, this is do not disturb time, FIL is online playing Lord of the Rings, go figure the Old man actually enjoys something besides sarcasm.

Some of my respect for your FIL has left after hearing this....come on man. Grab a bottle and start tinkering on a neighbor's lawnmower or fixing their car!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on December 13, 2018, 05:09:29 PM
Father in Law looks just like Jack Palance, I wish i could post a pic of him but he thinks that pictures steal your soul and he said that if anyone ever took a picture of him that he would stuff that camera so fat up their ass that the flach would be seen in their eyes,, again another ass thing.
Have you considered that your FIL is actually @Groyper/ @rekcuf ?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 13, 2018, 05:12:16 PM
Some of my respect for your FIL has left after hearing this....come on man. Grab a bottle and start tinkering on a neighbor's lawnmower or fixing their car!
He also makes knives, brandy and chocolate when he feels like it.  He actually is a pretty good knife maker, people have paid he a lot of money to make them specialty knives and  swords, at one point he had to quit reporting his income because he was making too much to collect SSI, as he tells it he invented the Buckmaster 184 and sold the patent to Buck, the 184 was the number of knives he designed.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 14, 2018, 02:13:20 AM
Well, this is do not disturb time, FIL is online playing Lord of the Rings, go figure the Old man actually enjoys something besides sarcasm.
Yeah, these elders definitely do not multi-task when they play online games.  But they seem to have no issue flipping the channel changer without notice!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 17, 2018, 04:25:14 PM
Orange essence would be better! Seriously, though, a clear shower curtain makes it harder for anyone to surprise the person who is bathing.  The visibility should be enough time to grab your tool of choice.  Go with that one.
Hehheheheheh
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on December 17, 2018, 04:26:45 PM
Father in Law looks just like Jack Palance, I wish i could post a pic of him but he thinks that pictures steal your soul and he said that if anyone ever took a picture of him that he would stuff that camera so fat up their ass that the flach would be seen in their eyes,, again another ass thing.
Dead?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 24, 2018, 06:19:03 PM
Father-in-Law was watching this today on TV, got to admit it is kind of fun watching.
https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8  (https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on December 24, 2018, 06:48:03 PM
Father-in-Law was watching this today on TV, got to admit it is kind of fun watching.
https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8  (https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8)

Cool!  Your Father-in-Law has good taste.  I like music from Turkey and India but I had never seen that singer before.  Please tell him I said thanks.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on December 25, 2018, 03:45:28 AM
Father-in-Law was watching this today on TV, got to admit it is kind of fun watching.
https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8  (https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8)
I'll check it out.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 08, 2019, 08:01:00 PM
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
 Today a friend of my dads friends brought over a pull behind camper and wanted to know if he could weld some sheet metal on it. Dad was setting up his equipment when the neighbor came over and informed him that he can't weld aluminum that thin to another piece of thin aluminum and he will just blow thru it, Dad replied "I'll weld a sheet of tin foil to your ass and blow my foot right thru it if you don't move your ass out of here" and then welded aluminum to the camper and when he was done he used a grinder and smoothed out the welds.  Again all his confrontations end with him threatening to either put, shove or kick something up someones ass.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 09, 2019, 02:30:16 AM
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
 Today a friend of my dads friends brought over a pull behind camper and wanted to know if he could weld some sheet metal on it. Dad was setting up his equipment when the neighbor came over and informed him that he can't weld aluminum that thin to another piece of thin aluminum and he will just blow thru it, Dad replied "I'll weld a sheet of tin foil to your ass and blow my foot right thru it if you don't move your ass out of here" and then welded aluminum to the camper and when he was done he used a grinder and smoothed out the welds.  Again all his confrontations end with him threatening to either put, shove or kick something up someones ass.
Lol. Male menopause?  He sure has some skills.  If the neighbor has thick skin, he'll be impressed with the work.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on January 09, 2019, 07:11:40 AM
If Groyper hadn’t pulled an Art, he could tell us why dealing with asses is a good idea.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 11, 2019, 11:22:32 PM
If Groyper hadn’t pulled an Art, he could tell us why dealing with asses is a good idea.
People talk about urban villages, without many paved roads and less traffic.  And electric cars.  With less gas exhaust on the roads, maybe donkeys will make a comeback!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on January 11, 2019, 11:24:43 PM
People talk about urban villages, without many paved roads and less traffic.  And electric cars.  With less gas exhaust on the roads, maybe donkeys will make a comeback!

Methane from donkey dung is a much worse greenhouse gas than CO2 is.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 11, 2019, 11:25:36 PM
Methane from donkey dung is a much worse greenhouse gas than CO2 is.
Not for the donkeys!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Whistler on January 11, 2019, 11:39:24 PM
What is a tankers bar?
That's where the KC-135 and 130 Herc flight crews hang out.   ;)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Whistler on January 11, 2019, 11:55:32 PM
Father in Law looks just like Jack Palance,...
Maybe.
But he sounds just like Red Forman.   lol

visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 13, 2019, 05:39:12 PM
Today dad was jerking Alexa around by asking things like, Alexa, play The Dick in my ass and she would reply I can't find The Dick in my ass and he would keep on going with those sort of requests.  Is this what I have to look forward to when I get his age?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on January 13, 2019, 05:46:21 PM
Today dad was jerking Alexa around by asking things like, Alexa, play The Dick in my ass and she would reply I can't find The Dick in my ass and he would keep on going with those sort of requests.  Is this what I have to look forward to when I get his age?

No. By the time you get to be his age, Alexa will have a direct brain interface. You won’t have to speak unless you want to.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 14, 2019, 10:07:25 PM
My son and fil went to the mall today, son says they went to the bathroom and it was a little packed, dil was pissing in the urinal and according to son the guy behind him was a little too close and fil turned sideways while still pissing and said to the man, come on, we can share if you can't hold it,, the man turned red and left and the other guys started to laugh.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on January 15, 2019, 01:42:34 AM
My son and fil went to the mall today, son says they went to the bathroom and it was a little packed, dil was pissing in the urinal and according to son the guy behind him was a little too close and fil turned sideways while still pissing and said to the man, come on, we can share if you can't hold it,, the man turned red and left and the other guys started to laugh.
Bwahahahahahahahah.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 17, 2019, 10:20:34 AM
Today dad was jerking Alexa around by asking things like, Alexa, play The Dick in my ass and she would reply I can't find The Dick in my ass and he would keep on going with those sort of requests.  Is this what I have to look forward to when I get his age?
Oh, no!  Just get a parrot, tee hee.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 17, 2019, 10:21:22 AM
My son and fil went to the mall today, son says they went to the bathroom and it was a little packed, dil was pissing in the urinal and according to son the guy behind him was a little too close and fil turned sideways while still pissing and said to the man, come on, we can share if you can't hold it,, the man turned red and left and the other guys started to laugh.
Way to "go"!  (You can tell him I said that).
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 17, 2019, 09:06:54 PM
Way to "go"!  (You can tell him I said that).

Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on January 17, 2019, 09:36:06 PM
Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.

So far I think he is a good role-model. (not the police stuff) but the other stuff seems like a good guy and your kids could do MUCH worse! Heck, let him tell them how to fix stuff, stand up for themselves, work hard etc.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on January 18, 2019, 01:48:11 PM
Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.
What bad habits?  Being an Alpha Male?  Your son would grow up to be a Marine or some other real man shit.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on January 18, 2019, 04:13:37 PM
What bad habits?  Being an Alpha Male?  Your son would grow up to be a Marine or some other real man shit.
I’m glad to see you capitalize Marine. Dammit, it’s a shortened form of a proper noun string. The godless, communist, post- modernist, neo-Calvinist grammer nazis insist on lower case.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on January 18, 2019, 11:40:20 PM
I’m glad to see you capitalize Marine. Dammit, it’s a shortened form of a proper noun string. The godless, communist, post- modernist, neo-Calvinist grammer nazis insist on lower case.
What?!

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 19, 2019, 11:48:32 PM
Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.
Hopefully he'll take the good stuff!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 21, 2019, 09:01:29 PM
Today I looked out the kitchen window and saw Cassie(my daughter) lying across Louie's (my Boxer dog) back with her arms around his neck, I opened the window and asked her what she was doing to Louie and she replied that she was putting the sleeper hold on him but it is not working like it did when grand dad put it on DeAndre.  I asked him about it and fil said that the sleeper doesn't work on animals because the arteries are in the wrong place then said she needs a human to practice on I told him to stop teaching my kids to be violent and he called me feckless and where would I be if my ancestors felt that way then said he was only teaching DeAndre the only rule that counts as a man and this is his exact words “If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.”  I asked DeAndre what grand dad WAS TEACHING HIM AND RE SAID "violence of action" I asked him what that meant and he said I had to ask Grand Dad because I wouldn't understand. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 22, 2019, 06:00:48 PM
Today I looked out the kitchen window and saw Cassie(my daughter) lying across Louie's (my Boxer dog) back with her arms around his neck, I opened the window and asked her what she was doing to Louie and she replied that she was putting the sleeper hold on him but it is not working like it did when grand dad put it on DeAndre.  I asked him about it and fil said that the sleeper doesn't work on animals because the arteries are in the wrong place then said she needs a human to practice on I told him to stop teaching my kids to be violent and he called me feckless and where would I be if my ancestors felt that way then said he was only teaching DeAndre the only rule that counts as a man and this is his exact words “If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.”  I asked DeAndre what grand dad WAS TEACHING HIM AND RE SAID "violence of action" I asked him what that meant and he said I had to ask Grand Dad because I wouldn't understand.
How did DeAndre feel when grand dad put the sleeper hold on him?????

At least gran dad has the excuse of trying to teach manliness, plus PTSD.  My dad did not seem to suffer PTSD at all and was not a combat veteran so he had no excuse, but he used to torture each of us with traumatic choke holds, even me, the girl.  Mom did not intervene, and was usually in the next room.  He never left marks and we never turned blue.  But it was traumatizing.  We were so little every time he did it (drunk), we always forgot and the next time he started in wrestling, we never saw it coming.  That last until about age 4, after which age we all wised up.  Why didn't he take up a sport instead of picking on little kids.

He's been deceased over 15 years.  I was always as kind to him as I could be.  I didn't miss him the first 10 years he was dead.  Not at all.  But sometimes now I do remember good things he did.  He was really patient with costume necklace knots, unknotting them for me anytime, and he is the one who told me overpasses and bridges get icier than other surfaces.  He had a lot of blind spots and badness, but that wasn't all.

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 25, 2019, 03:54:17 PM
Funny he said the only thing he could remember was trying to throw an elbow or two then waking up on the floor, he did say grand dad told him the first thing he should do when he woke up was check for his wallet.  I don't think he has PTSD well at least he does not take any medication and he does not get any disability from the Army.  I only know of few things he feels bad about or regrets that he told us and one is getting kicked off of/Banned from Ft. Bragg, NC, that is always a sore spot with him and he always brings it up when there are decisions (ethical or moral) that involves the kids and when he put crap in the Bn HQ's water-buffalo that ended up giving the command group dysentery (Viet-Nam).
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on January 25, 2019, 10:47:03 PM
Funny he said the only thing he could remember was trying to throw an elbow or two then waking up on the floor, he did say grand dad told him the first thing he should do when he woke up was check for his wallet.  I don't think he has PTSD well at least he does not take any medication and he does not get any disability from the Army.  I only know of few things he feels bad about or regrets that he told us and one is getting kicked off of/Banned from Ft. Bragg, NC, that is always a sore spot with him and he always brings it up when there are decisions (ethical or moral) that involves the kids and when he put crap in the Bn HQ's water-buffalo that ended up giving the command group dysentery (Viet-Nam).
Glad he wasn't too stressed out!  Such as character.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 29, 2019, 02:57:38 PM
F-I-L sent this to my father

https://youtu.be/jIuKsmxO6qQ (https://youtu.be/jIuKsmxO6qQ)

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on January 29, 2019, 04:12:15 PM
F-I-L sent this to my father

https://youtu.be/jIuKsmxO6qQ (https://youtu.be/jIuKsmxO6qQ)

As kids, we used to sing this little ditty to the tune of Whistle While You Work:

Whistle while you work!
Hilter is a jerk!
Mussolini bit his weenie
now it doesn’t work

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on January 29, 2019, 05:56:05 PM
In 1983, a friend’s grandmother walked up to a Japanese couple shopping in the grocery store and told them she was finally able to forgive them for Pearl Harbor.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 30, 2019, 05:00:29 PM
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Funny thing that you mention grocery store, today I took F-I-L to Publix(local grocery store) two persons infront of us was talking to the cashier and she replied "Boy it is cold outside" it was about 30 deg and the second lady replied " You southern people don't know what cold is, were from Minnesota and this isn't cold"  F-I-L all of a sudden snapped and said "Well, you are not in Minnesota are you, you see those Palm Trees outside, we are in South Carolina and it's fucking cold, why don't you take your ass back to Minnesota and enjoy your cold and your snow".  Everyone in line just laughed except for that lady.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 30, 2019, 06:27:04 PM
Father-In-Law was born in Punxsutawney as was hubby and is now pissed that we do not want to go there for Ground Hog Day to eat free cherry pie and ice creame.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 30, 2019, 06:29:57 PM
Father-in-law tried to register with chat for mushmouth with the name Dyck Peckerwood and surfernaught told him to change it or he will boot and F-I-L replied " how about I put my boot so far up your ass you will be able to tell when the last time I used Kiwi" and he got booted
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on January 30, 2019, 11:03:11 PM
Today I looked out the kitchen window and saw Cassie(my daughter) lying across Louie's (my Boxer dog) back with her arms around his neck, I opened the window and asked her what she was doing to Louie and she replied that she was putting the sleeper hold on him but it is not working like it did when grand dad put it on DeAndre.  I asked him about it and fil said that the sleeper doesn't work on animals because the arteries are in the wrong place then said she needs a human to practice on I told him to stop teaching my kids to be violent and he called me feckless and where would I be if my ancestors felt that way then said he was only teaching DeAndre the only rule that counts as a man and this is his exact words “If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.”  I asked DeAndre what grand dad WAS TEACHING HIM AND RE SAID "violence of action" I asked him what that meant and he said I had to ask Grand Dad because I wouldn't understand.

I've missed these stories!  :)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Belles on January 31, 2019, 12:08:42 AM
I've missed these stories!  :)

Me too!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on January 31, 2019, 03:03:45 AM
Father-in-law tried to register with chat for mushmouth with the name Dyck Peckerwood and surfernaught told him to change it or he will boot and F-I-L replied " how about I put my boot so far up your ass you will be able to tell when the last time I used Kiwi" and he got booted
;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on February 03, 2019, 12:04:36 AM
Funny thing that you mention grocery store, today I took F-I-L to Publix(local grocery store) two persons infront of us was talking to the cashier and she replied "Boy it is cold outside" it was about 30 deg and the second lady replied " You southern people don't know what cold is, were from Minnesota and this isn't cold"  F-I-L all of a sudden snapped and said "Well, you are not in Minnesota are you, you see those Palm Trees outside, we are in South Carolina and it's fucking cold, why don't you take your ass back to Minnesota and enjoy your cold and your snow".  Everyone in line just laughed except for that lady.
I did not see that ending coming at all.  He is predictable but full of surprises.
In 1983, a friend’s grandmother walked up to a Japanese couple shopping in the grocery store and told them she was finally able to forgive them for Pearl Harbor.
Oh my goodness.  Massive retaliation does make forgiveness easier.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on February 14, 2019, 01:04:47 PM

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Well Dad got back from Punxsutawney last night and today around 11 Am he and Louie were sitting on the front porch when the Fed-EX man drove up to deliver a package, when the Fed-Ex man saw Louie on the porch he pulled his Mace and Dad told him " Boy, if you don't holster that shit, if you spray this dog I am going to jam it so far down your mouth your asshole will burn".  The FEd-Ex guy just left and we got a call from the Fed-Ex place that we have to come and pick up the package because they do not deliver to hostile environments.  Not even home for 24 hrs and he still manages to cause some type of incident.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on February 15, 2019, 10:31:22 AM
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Well Dad got back from Punxsutawney last night and today around 11 Am he and Louie were sitting on the front porch when the Fed-EX man drove up to deliver a package, when the Fed-Ex man saw Louie on the porch he pulled his Mace and Dad told him " Boy, if you don't holster that shit, if you spray this dog I am going to jam it so far down your mouth your asshole will burn".  The FEd-Ex guy just left and we got a call from the Fed-Ex place that we have to come and pick up the package because they do not deliver to hostile environments.  Not even home for 24 hrs and he still manages to cause some type of incident.

Have to ask, who is "Louie" and does he bite? :o
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on February 15, 2019, 09:20:10 PM
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Well Dad got back from Punxsutawney last night and today around 11 Am he and Louie were sitting on the front porch when the Fed-EX man drove up to deliver a package, when the Fed-Ex man saw Louie on the porch he pulled his Mace and Dad told him " Boy, if you don't holster that shit, if you spray this dog I am going to jam it so far down your mouth your asshole will burn".  The FEd-Ex guy just left and we got a call from the Fed-Ex place that we have to come and pick up the package because they do not deliver to hostile environments.  Not even home for 24 hrs and he still manages to cause some type of incident.
Something tells me a little mace would just fuel Louie onward.  What kind of dog is Louie?  How old is he?  How cute is he?  Is he smart?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on February 16, 2019, 06:05:02 PM
Louie is a boxer, just over a year old, I will post a few pics of him when I get them.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on February 16, 2019, 06:08:31 PM
Louie is a boxer, just over a year old, I will post a few pics of him when I get them.

What was in the FedEx package?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on February 16, 2019, 08:49:49 PM
What was in the FedEx package?
Don't know, the guy never delivered it, went right back into his truck and drove off, have to go to the FedEx place and pick it up.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on February 16, 2019, 11:29:20 PM
Have you ever You Tubed "funny boxers?"  They are incredible dogs but also very strong and protective.

https://twistedsifter.com/videos/funny-dog-honks-car-horn/   Boxer left in car on a NOT hot day still protests.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on February 16, 2019, 11:42:21 PM
Have you ever You Tubed "funny boxers?"  They are incredible.

Much funnier than briefs.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 06, 2019, 01:12:26 PM
Well today Dad did it again, he got escorted and banned from BiLo (grocery store)  to make a long story short from the Police report he went to the 10 items or less isle(he had 15) because their was only one isle open to take regular customers and it had 6 people in it and the cashier told him him "Oh no you don't, this is 10 items or less" in which he replied "you are the only isle open the other one is packed" her reply was " Bilo policies are not open for your interpretation" so he packed his stuff up and went to the isle that now had 9 people in it and when it was his turn to check out the cashier asked him how he was doing and he replied " Not as good as that fat ass over there in the 10 items or less isle with her thumb up her ass and nothing to do but wipe her hands with baby lotion"  and he said it pretty loud so the 10 items or less lady said in her Al Capone reply "are you talking to me, I know you are not talking to me because you don't know me"  and he replied "You are the only fat bitch standing around with nothing to do with your thumb up your ass" and her reply was "you don't want me to come over there old man" and of course Dad replied: "bring your fat good for nothing ass over here and I will spread your nose all over your face" and then the manager stepped in and the Police showed up and the rest is history and Dad is 86ed from Bilo, he was not arrested, just escorted out and told to never return.  Dad said atleast he is in good company with others that have been banned.
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Peppa pig is banned in China and Dad loves peppa Pig
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on March 06, 2019, 01:33:54 PM
Your FIL can probably sue the store for fat ass calling him an old man.  Also her threat that he (your FIL) didn't want her to 'go over there.'  What a wanky sounding store.  In my grocery store, a non busy 10 or less checker would be more than happy to take an order with five extra items.  Whatever works to keep things moving and the customers happy.  I would have fired the thumb lady, had I been the owner of that store. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on March 06, 2019, 01:39:11 PM
I hate BiLo.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Dyna-X on March 06, 2019, 01:50:10 PM
I hate BiLo.
Beware of stores that attempt to be overly clever in their names or add unnecessary silent 'e's (Ye Old Junk Shoppe).
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on March 06, 2019, 02:54:39 PM
Beware of stores that attempt to be overly clever in their names or add unnecessary silent 'e's (Ye Old Junk Shoppe).

Are those inconsistent e’s?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on March 07, 2019, 01:52:43 AM
Well today Dad did it again, he got escorted and banned from BiLo (grocery store)  to make a long story short from the Police report he went to the 10 items or less isle(he had 15) because their was only one isle open to take regular customers and it had 6 people in it and the cashier told him him "Oh no you don't, this is 10 items or less" in which he replied "you are the only isle open the other one is packed" her reply was " Bilo policies are not open for your interpretation" so he packed his stuff up and went to the isle that now had 9 people in it and when it was his turn to check out the cashier asked him how he was doing and he replied " Not as good as that fat ass over there in the 10 items or less isle with her thumb up her ass and nothing to do but wipe her hands with baby lotion"  and he said it pretty loud so the 10 items or less lady said in her Al Capone reply "are you talking to me, I know you are not talking to me because you don't know me"  and he replied "You are the only fat bitch standing around with nothing to do with your thumb up your ass" and her reply was "you don't want me to come over there old man" and of course Dad replied: "bring your fat good for nothing ass over here and I will spread your nose all over your face" and then the manager stepped in and the Police showed up and the rest is history and Dad is 86ed from Bilo, he was not arrested, just escorted out and told to never return.  Dad said atleast he is in good company with others that have been banned.
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Peppa pig is banned in China and Dad loves peppa Pig

She sounds like a snot.  Who wouldn't accommodate a senior citizen anyway? 

Lines are getting longer everywhere, while the top execs and stock holders get richer & richer by greedily not hiring enough people and working the employees they have to the bone.  Especially Ross dress for less.

Well, too bad about that.  I can't believe they called the cops.  If I were the manager, I would not have called the cops unless he violated a request not to return.  Like he was really going to re-arrange her face from 20 feet away...

Is he interested in a prescription which could tone him down a little?  Probably not.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on March 07, 2019, 01:53:58 AM
Much funnier than briefs.
::)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 07, 2019, 11:58:34 AM
Lines are getting longer everywhere, while the top execs and stock holders get richer & richer by greedily not hiring enough people and working the employees they have to the bone.  Especially Ross dress for less.

Ross has very obviously and deleteriously managed itself into a shadow of what it used to be back in the 80s. I can remember when TJ Maxx was considered lowbrow and Ross was more upscale. Not any more. :(

Then again our new Honduran border jumpers need cheap clothes, so... :-\
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on March 07, 2019, 01:10:39 PM
Well today Dad did it again, he got escorted and banned from BiLo (grocery store)  to make a long story short from the Police report he went to the 10 items or less isle(he had 15) because their was only one isle open to take regular customers and it had 6 people in it and the cashier told him him "Oh no you don't, this is 10 items or less" in which he replied "you are the only isle open the other one is packed" her reply was " Bilo policies are not open for your interpretation" so he packed his stuff up and went to the isle that now had 9 people in it and when it was his turn to check out the cashier asked him how he was doing and he replied " Not as good as that fat ass over there in the 10 items or less isle with her thumb up her ass and nothing to do but wipe her hands with baby lotion"  and he said it pretty loud so the 10 items or less lady said in her Al Capone reply "are you talking to me, I know you are not talking to me because you don't know me"  and he replied "You are the only fat bitch standing around with nothing to do with your thumb up your ass" and her reply was "you don't want me to come over there old man" and of course Dad replied: "bring your fat good for nothing ass over here and I will spread your nose all over your face" and then the manager stepped in and the Police showed up and the rest is history and Dad is 86ed from Bilo, he was not arrested, just escorted out and told to never return.  Dad said atleast he is in good company with others that have been banned.
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Peppa pig is banned in China and Dad loves peppa Pig

I have GOT to meet the old man.  Banned for being right.  Hah!  There is a special place in hell for guys like us.

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on March 07, 2019, 01:11:23 PM
Your FIL can probably sue the store for fat ass calling him an old man.  Also her threat that he (your FIL) didn't want her to 'go over there.'  What a wanky sounding store.  In my grocery store, a non busy 10 or less checker would be more than happy to take an order with five extra items.  Whatever works to keep things moving and the customers happy.  I would have fired the thumb lady, had I been the owner of that store.
No shit, right?  Welcome to bizzaroland America.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 09, 2019, 07:14:28 PM
To tell the truth, I've about had it with him, the time is going to come one day when someone calls his bluff, he is almost 70 years old well he will be 70 in July, he may be a big man physically but he is 70 and all that crap he talks about having one good fight left in him, I am afraid the time will come when we have to identify him at the morgue.  It is just beyond my comprehension, we give him everything he needs and most people his age would be happy and content but oh no, not Billy Bad Ass, it has to be his way, it it wasn't for the kids his butt would of been sent packing along time ago.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on March 09, 2019, 11:25:09 PM
Ross has very obviously and deleteriously managed itself into a shadow of what it used to be back in the 80s. I can remember when TJ Maxx was considered lowbrow and Ross was more upscale. Not any more. :(

Then again our new Honduran border jumpers need cheap clothes, so... :-\
From what I've seen, they shoplift them.  Ross doesn't prosecute.  They told me they'd rather lose the clothes than pay staff to sit in court.  But they do pay for security, but it happens when Security goes on breaks.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 10, 2019, 11:22:46 AM
From what I've seen, they shoplift them.  Ross doesn't prosecute.  They told me they'd rather lose the clothes than pay staff to sit in court.  But they do pay for security, but it happens when Security goes on breaks.

Wow, just freaking wow! I truly had no idea. But just how does one prosecute a shoplifiting border jumper anyway? Shoot if ICE can't nab them, Paul Blart Mall Cop stands no chance at all..

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Nucky Nolan on March 10, 2019, 04:23:19 PM
I hate BiLo.

I no longer shop at BiLo. I buy all of my stuff online from Acme Products.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Nucky Nolan on March 10, 2019, 04:30:16 PM
Ross has very obviously and deleteriously managed itself into a shadow of what it used to be back in the 80s. I can remember when TJ Maxx was considered lowbrow and Ross was more upscale. Not any more. :(

Then again our new Honduran border jumpers need cheap clothes, so... :-\

We no longer have Kmart and Sears here. Our mall is hemorrhaging stores. Weekend nights in 2019 there look like Wednesday mornings in 1990. I expect to see zombies there soon.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on March 11, 2019, 01:34:23 AM
To tell the truth, I've about had it with him, the time is going to come one day when someone calls his bluff, he is almost 70 years old well he will be 70 in July, he may be a big man physically but he is 70 and all that crap he talks about having one good fight left in him, I am afraid the time will come when we have to identify him at the morgue.  It is just beyond my comprehension, we give him everything he needs and most people his age would be happy and content but oh no, not Billy Bad Ass, it has to be his way, it it wasn't for the kids his butt would of been sent packing along time ago.
Hey 'Bitch, and I mean that affectionately, your FIL is 20 years older than me, but I know that I've got another fight left in me.  will it be my last? I dunno.  But I do hope to go out in one last gunfight.  So, if your FIL says he has one more fight in him, I  don't think he's bluffing. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 11, 2019, 08:41:43 AM
I no longer shop at BiLo. I buy all of my stuff online from Acme Products.
Heh...

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...the masters of planned obsolescence... ;D
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 11, 2019, 08:45:14 AM
We no longer have Kmart and Sears here. Our mall is hemorrhaging stores. Weekend nights in 2019 there look like Wednesday mornings in 1990. I expect to see zombies there soon.
I expect you just might, but they come with skateboards, so watch out...
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 11, 2019, 08:48:58 AM
To tell the truth, I've about had it with him, the time is going to come one day when someone calls his bluff, he is almost 70 years old well he will be 70 in July, he may be a big man physically but he is 70 and all that crap he talks about having one good fight left in him, I am afraid the time will come when we have to identify him at the morgue.  It is just beyond my comprehension, we give him everything he needs and most people his age would be happy and content but oh no, not Billy Bad Ass, it has to be his way, it it wasn't for the kids his butt would of been sent packing along time ago.
You gave him everything he needs, except a nation that resembles anything he was raised in. :-\

Wait until you're 70 and you can see a nation committing cultural and economic seppuku before your very eyes.

Never mind, it's already happening, you'll get to see the even more horrific results stage of that race to the bottom. :'(
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Nucky Nolan on March 11, 2019, 04:01:28 PM
Heh...

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...the masters of planned obsolescence... ;D

The coyote learned that the hard way. They have nothing on Apple, though.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Nucky Nolan on March 11, 2019, 04:06:24 PM
I expect you just might, but they come with skateboards, so watch out...


I dig those tapes. They're like archaeological expeditions from the future.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 12, 2019, 02:26:59 PM
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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 12, 2019, 06:57:27 PM
Hey 'Bitch, and I mean that affectionately, your FIL is 20 years older than me, but I know that I've got another fight left in me.  will it be my last? I dunno.  But I do hope to go out in one last gunfight.  So, if your FIL says he has one more fight in him, I  don't think he's bluffing.
Well you are 50 and he is 70, the only fight he has left in him is the fight to wake up tomorrow, I don't mean to sound cruel but the facts are the facts, he is an old man and if he wants to die by an act of violence that is his problem but I am not going to have it, I will not have my husbands father,,OMG, I am sorry, it just hit me, I did not mean for this thread to be a vent for me I made it because he says funny and stupid things and I thought it would be nice for others to see what he says but it seems that I am  just trying to justify it to myself
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Nucky Nolan on March 12, 2019, 07:22:19 PM
Well you are 50 and he is 70, the only fight he has left in him is the fight to wake up tomorrow

To be fair, I can say the same thing for me during my college party days. Some hangovers can make you feel like an "old" 70.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: juan on March 13, 2019, 04:40:34 AM
You will not have it. i think you’ve identified the real problem.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 13, 2019, 09:03:46 AM
Well you are 50 and he is 70, the only fight he has left in him is the fight to wake up tomorrow, I don't mean to sound cruel but the facts are the facts, he is an old man and if he wants to die by an act of violence that is his problem but I am not going to have it, I will not have my husbands father,,OMG, I am sorry, it just hit me, I did not mean for this thread to be a vent for me I made it because he says funny and stupid things and I thought it would be nice for others to see what he says but it seems that I am  just trying to justify it to myself

Is he an Eastwood fan?

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on March 14, 2019, 01:33:25 AM
Well you are 50 and he is 70, the only fight he has left in him is the fight to wake up tomorrow, I don't mean to sound cruel but the facts are the facts, he is an old man and if he wants to die by an act of violence that is his problem but I am not going to have it, I will not have my husbands father,,OMG, I am sorry, it just hit me, I did not mean for this thread to be a vent for me I made it because he says funny and stupid things and I thought it would be nice for others to see what he says but it seems that I am  just trying to justify it to myself
  Relax.  You're amongst friends here.  Mostly.  I love the shit your dad says.  He sounds like me and the crew I roll with.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on March 14, 2019, 02:46:55 PM
The old man wouldn't take any shit from the 'Mongs.

 8)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 21, 2019, 11:35:56 AM
The old man wouldn't take any shit from the 'Mongs.

 8)
Actually he is more of the  Walk a mile in another mans shoes kind of guy but he shows more respect to my parents than he does to to me, he spent a year in Mongolia with the Peace Corps back in the mid 70's, he has his own opinions on Mongolia and China, funny how he thinks he is an expert.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on March 22, 2019, 03:42:26 PM
Actually he is more of the  Walk a mile in another mans shoes kind of guy but he shows more respect to my parents than he does to to me, he spent a year in Mongolia with the Peace Corps back in the mid 70's, he has his own opinions on Mongolia and China, funny how he thinks he is an expert.
Well, I was never there so I will accept his expertise.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on March 22, 2019, 04:53:49 PM
Actually he is more of the  Walk a mile in another mans shoes kind of guy but he shows more respect to my parents than he does to to me, he spent a year in Mongolia with the Peace Corps back in the mid 70's, he has his own opinions on Mongolia and China, funny how he thinks he is an expert.

Mongs/Hmongs ("Meios," interestingly called also) fought with us (and some other earlier colonial powers in Laos, Vietnam, etc.) Though there are some tribes in China they are far from "Mongolian" and more assc with far southern China, Laos, Vietnam, etc area. Like other persecuted groups (Montagnards) they often were recruited to "help out" us, and earlier, like French, because they were often Christian (or nominally so but often very much so- Catholic especially due to French missionaries) but also since the larger ethnic groups "in charge" considered them backwards and so often persecuted. And also, due to this, had knowledge of the mountains (he the name of the former) or rural areas where an insurgency, or counter-ones, is often best done.

I'm generally against much immigration but when you got folks that really helped you out, volunteered in large numbers, and hated commies I don't mind them coming in. Like, for example, the British for the loyal Malayans, the loyal in southern African countries and Kenya, and Gurhkas the veterans deserve right to emigrate, their pensions, etc but cause they fought the enemy, often with aplomb and bravery, and then often abandoned/abused by fellow countrymen once colonial forces "pulled out" and let the commies and natives take over.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 31, 2019, 03:19:05 PM
Well it seems that FIL has a teenage following of boys.  FIL HAD A GROUP OF 5 OR 6 BOYS IN THE BACK YARD, he looked like he was giving a class but as it turned out he was teaching them how to recoginize the difference between a Pimp Slap, Jap Slap and a Bitch Slap..go figure I never knew there was a difference
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on March 31, 2019, 03:24:42 PM
Well it seems that FIL has a teenage following of boys.  FIL HAD A GROUP OF 5 OR 6 BOYS IN THE BACK YARD, he looked like he was giving a class but as it turned out he was teaching them how to recoginize the difference between a Pimp Slap, Jap Slap and a Bitch Slap..go figure I never knew there was a difference

You need to film some of these escapades.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 31, 2019, 03:27:13 PM
You need to film some of these escapades.
I would but he thinks any type of photography is soul stealing
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: albrecht on March 31, 2019, 03:31:50 PM
Well it seems that FIL has a teenage following of boys.  FIL HAD A GROUP OF 5 OR 6 BOYS IN THE BACK YARD, he looked like he was giving a class but as it turned out he was teaching them how to recoginize the difference between a Pimp Slap, Jap Slap and a Bitch Slap..go figure I never knew there was a difference

I would assume the Jap Slap is a surprise, the Pimp Slap is one in which one knows is coming (hiding money or whatever,) and the Bitch Slap maybe a mild one to help someone gain their senses back or a backhanded variety? But not sure, as GS says, put up a youtube of the lecture.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on March 31, 2019, 03:36:34 PM
I would but he thinks any type of photography is soul stealing

If he has a brother, I think I live next door to him.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Nucky Nolan on March 31, 2019, 03:43:52 PM
You need to film some of these escapades.

Angry Grandpa left a void after he passed. The OP may have a YouTube career ahead of him.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 11, 2019, 04:06:37 PM
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: BartEllProducer on April 12, 2019, 09:58:49 AM
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.

That is hilarious!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 12, 2019, 11:56:12 AM
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.
I am in serious like with this old goat!

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on April 13, 2019, 01:20:08 AM
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.
Ahahahahahhahaahahaha!  Your FIL is fucking amazing!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 15, 2019, 08:21:48 PM
Ahahahahahhahaahahaha!  Your FIL is fucking amazing!
Yeah, he is also crazy, for being 70 years old he is not old acting, imagine Jack Palance at 6'4" and 240 lbs and that is him, actually he keeps letting people know his height and weight, pure scary when he gets mad.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 16, 2019, 08:17:40 AM
Yeah, he is also crazy, for being 70 years old he is not old acting, imagine Jack Palance at 6'4" and 240 lbs and that is him, actually he keeps letting people know his height and weight, pure scary when he gets mad.

Have this mental image...maybe just the attitude is accurate though...

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 17, 2019, 04:09:58 PM
Have this mental image...maybe just the attitude is accurate though...

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Close but the beard is ginger with gray and not as buff but with a Jack Palance bald head as he says it is a choice not a a requirement head, now all that aside today this 30ish chubby black lady rang our bell and asked for dear old FIL, I thought she wanted him to do some work for him and then when he got to the door he handed her a sheet of paper and she hugged him and bounced all up and down while hugging him and she only came up to his mid chest, my jaw dropped, I thought he was having a fling with her or something like that, maybe a pregnancy test or something, they talked for like 10 minutes looking at the paper and then she hugged him again and left.  When he came in I asked him what that show was all about and he told me "Curiosity killed the Cat, and I am not going to give you the satisfaction to bring it back"  Come to find out after a few hours of checking is that he made a 1st anniversary church banquet dinner flier for her,,woo, talk about feeling low
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 17, 2019, 04:43:16 PM
Close but the beard is ginger with gray and not as buff but with a Jack Palance bald head as he says it is a choice not a a requirement head, now all that aside today this 30ish chubby black lady rang our bell and asked for dear old FIL, I thought she wanted him to do some work for him and then when he got to the door he handed her a sheet of paper and she hugged him and bounced all up and down while hugging him and she only came up to his mid chest, my jaw dropped, I thought he was having a fling with her or something like that, maybe a pregnancy test or something, they talked for like 10 minutes looking at the paper and then she hugged him again and left.  When he came in I asked him what that show was all about and he told me "Curiosity killed the Cat, and I am not going to give you the satisfaction to bring it back"  Come to find out after a few hours of checking is that he made a 1st anniversary church banquet dinner flier for her,,woo, talk about feeling low

Between your FIL and WAN's "Red Heat" this group is a proving that truth is a lot funnier than fiction.

Don't stop, this guy is my "second hand lion" of sorts... 8)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: BrightEyes on April 17, 2019, 05:48:30 PM
The name of this thread always makes me laugh when I see it!  :)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on April 17, 2019, 06:36:27 PM
That is hilarious!
That was great, Gran-Dad!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 17, 2019, 08:26:01 PM
Between your FIL and WAN's "Red Heat" this group is a proving that truth is a lot funnier than fiction.

Don't stop, this guy is my "second hand lion" of sorts... 8)
Thank you very much for the movie, I did a search on Second hand lion and found it was a movie,, OMG it was great, so much about that movir fits him,  FIL even had a friendship with Muammar Gaddafi, no shit, they were friends, he has letters and cards from him.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on April 17, 2019, 10:27:06 PM
Thank you very much for the movie, I did a search on Second hand lion and found it was a movie,, OMG it was great, so much about that movir fits him,  FIL even had a friendship with Muammar Gaddafi, no shit, they were friends, he has letters and cards from him.
I’m impressed Gaddafi sent cards to anyone let alone our favorite Grumpy FIL
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 18, 2019, 09:10:48 AM
Thank you very much for the movie, I did a search on Second hand lion and found it was a movie,, OMG it was great, so much about that movir fits him,  FIL even had a friendship with Muammar Gaddafi, no shit, they were friends, he has letters and cards from him.

Wow, the guy has layers, doesn't he? :o

Glad you liked that reference, it's a fine and overlooked film. :)

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 18, 2019, 09:11:27 AM
I’m impressed Gaddafi sent cards to anyone let alone our favorite Grumpy FIL
Indeed, what's next...a set of worry beads from Idi Amin? 8)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 18, 2019, 11:18:22 AM
Indeed, what's next...a set of worry beads from Idi Amin? 8)
I am serious about Gaddafi and he is proud of it, he has the stuff framed, one of these days when I can I will get pictures of it.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 18, 2019, 11:40:08 AM
Wow, the guy has layers, doesn't he? :o

Glad you liked that reference, it's a fine and overlooked film. :)
He sure does, he worked for Executive Outcomes as a medic and spent 2 years in Tibet and some time in Mongolia with the Peace Corps and then there is his jail time which brings him to us now.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 18, 2019, 11:45:48 AM
This guy may have more gnarls than an old Cypress stump, but I really like him!

"Oh the stories he could tell...if it all blows up and goes to hell..."etc... ::)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 19, 2019, 08:38:33 PM
Well today my son got his probationary drivers license and good ole FIL wants to take him on a road trip up the coast to Myrtle Beach, just the two of them, No split tails allowed as FIL says.  -My husband said it was OK, but I wish he would put his foot down at least on somethings when it concerns his children, it is like FIL is the Alpha dog and he just follows.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 19, 2019, 08:45:20 PM
This guy may have more gnarls than an old Cypress stump, but I really like him!

"Oh the stories he could tell...if it all blows up and goes to hell..."etc... ::)
Oh you don't know the half of it, his first arrest was for assault on a  man trying ti pick up a retarded girl at a BBQ, his second was a DUI, his 3rd was for pulling a gun on a public works person and the last was his illegal bar and way before that was the time he was kicked off of Ft. Bragg, never to return.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 20, 2019, 10:46:05 AM
Well today my son got his probationary drivers license and good ole FIL wants to take him on a road trip up the coast to Myrtle Beach, just the two of them, No split tails allowed as FIL says.  -My husband said it was OK, but I wish he would put his foot down at least on somethings when it concerns his children, it is like FIL is the Alpha dog and he just follows.

FIL as an alpha dog?

You don't say...lol..."split tails"...this guy is an all day Gran Torino, isn't he?

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 20, 2019, 10:47:15 AM
Oh you don't know the half of it, his first arrest was for assault on a  man trying ti pick up a retarded girl at a BBQ, his second was a DUI, his 3rd was for pulling a gun on a public works person and the last was his illegal bar and way before that was the time he was kicked off of Ft. Bragg, never to return.

Oh ho ho!

He truly IS the "real deal"...

Wow, who needs fiction? ;D
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on April 22, 2019, 07:28:30 PM
Their upcoming trip might be the time for the new "Grandpad".  Although $40/mo seems kind of high (plus the device).  But, a neat tool to keep voluntarily tabs on someone.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 22, 2019, 08:16:49 PM
Well after two weeks of secret metal working in FIL's so called Forge ( a shed with some tools) he produced what he calls an American Wakizashi for $1500 (as he calls it, cold hard reinforced blue twisted homogenize 1095 steel)I don't know know what all that means but is it the beginning of another knife/sword making season that will keep him busty until December, less problems for me until he takes his shirt off and all the old women gather around.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on April 22, 2019, 08:55:57 PM
Well after two weeks of secret metal working in FIL's so called Forge ( a shed with some tools) he produced what he calls an American Wakizashi for $1500 (as he calls it, cold hard reinforced blue twisted homogenize 1095 steel)I don't know know what all that means but is it the beginning of another knife/sword making season that will keep him busty until December, less problems for me until he takes his shirt off and all the old women gather around.
Maybe they'll bring snacks!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 23, 2019, 10:22:16 AM
He sure does, he worked for Executive Outcomes as a medic and spent 2 years in Tibet and some time in Mongolia with the Peace Corps and then there is his jail time which brings him to us now.

This guy is:

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 23, 2019, 10:23:31 AM
Well after two weeks of secret metal working in FIL's so called Forge ( a shed with some tools) he produced what he calls an American Wakizashi for $1500 (as he calls it, cold hard reinforced blue twisted homogenize 1095 steel)I don't know know what all that means but is it the beginning of another knife/sword making season that will keep him busty until December, less problems for me until he takes his shirt off and all the old women gather around.

Aww...and to think, some dudes that age need artificial stimulants, lol! :D
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on April 23, 2019, 10:45:57 AM
Well after two weeks of secret metal working in FIL's so called Forge ( a shed with some tools) he produced what he calls an American Wakizashi for $1500 (as he calls it, cold hard reinforced blue twisted homogenize 1095 steel)I don't know know what all that means but is it the beginning of another knife/sword making season that will keep him busty until December, less problems for me until he takes his shirt off and all the old women gather around.
Do you ever find yourself giving him a second look?   Naughty girl.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on April 23, 2019, 10:46:35 AM
Aww...and to think, some dudes that age need artificial stimulants, lol! :D
a six pack of PBR's?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 23, 2019, 11:16:13 AM
a six pack of PBR's?

Or maybe some:

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Kidnostad on April 23, 2019, 08:57:59 PM
Actually he is more of the  Walk a mile in another mans shoes kind of guy but he shows more respect to my parents than he does to to me, he spent a year in Mongolia with the Peace Corps back in the mid 70's, he has his own opinions on Mongolia and China, funny how he thinks he is an expert.

Wow, that's a real head scratcher.  Just wondering if your parents post snarky shit about him too. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 24, 2019, 08:16:08 AM
Wow, that's a real head scratcher.  Just wondering if your parents post snarky shit about him too.

To be fair, she's also shown some palpable admiration and a deft sense of comedic timing.

I think if he were reading this his eyes would crinkle up in what might even be a smile...

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 26, 2019, 07:06:14 PM
Today my husband caught our 15 almost 16  year old son looking at porn on his computer and removed the door to his room ( he was doing more than just looking).  FIL came home later and saw the door in the hallway and asked what we were going to do with the door because he could use it, hubby replied "take it DeAndre doesn't  need it anymore".  FIL asked "What dumb-asased shit did you do now", to make a long story short husband told FIL he caught DeAndre doing things with porno pics.  Well FIL was pissed told hubby to put the door back or he would and with a dead bolt and leave the boy some privacy, husband tried to reply and FIL said, Just do it, do you remember the time I caught you whacking off to Parade Magazine under wear pictures, did I say anything, No, I just pretended I did not see you and forgot something and went down the the hall,,is it not enough that you embarrassed him by acting like a dick even though when you were his age you were beating off to under wear pictures.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 26, 2019, 07:31:28 PM
Aww...and to think, some dudes that age need artificial stimulants, lol! :D
FIL says he was intimate (not his words) with hundreds of women from every part of the world even an Albino African Midget from Rhodesia and it got to the point where sex became work and not fun and tried to find ways around it but once he met his true love and married her she would be his one and only from then on and there never has been one since that could interest him and as far as Hubby or me know when FIL has never been in a sexual relationship with anyone since the death of his wife /my husbands mother.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 26, 2019, 07:44:22 PM
This guy is:

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You are soo correct, FIL said he failed his "Q" course for Special Forces because he flunked the mental evaluation at the end,, he said the Psychologist told him that if he was in an anti-universe where things were reversed that he would still be the same person  the same as Ying and Yang
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 26, 2019, 07:50:15 PM
Wow, that's a real head scratcher.  Just wondering if your parents post snarky shit about him too.
Actually he loves my parents and has said many times my apple must of rolled far from the tree.  He is very anti-Japanese and always says that the Japanese were a bunch of pissed off fire ants that spread thru Asia destroying everything that they came in contact with and that it took the United States to slap the fire from them and made them recognize that they were just ants.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Kidnostad on April 26, 2019, 07:54:08 PM
Today my husband caught our 15 almost 16  year old son looking at porn on his computer and removed the door to his room ( he was doing more than just looking).  FIL came home later and saw the door in the hallway and asked what we were going to do with the door because he could use it, hubby replied "take it DeAndre doesn't  need it anymore".  FIL asked "What dumb-asased shit did you do now", to make a long story short husband told FIL he caught DeAndre doing things with porno pics.  Well FIL was pissed told hubby to put the door back or he would and with a dead bolt and leave the boy some privacy, husband tried to reply and FIL said, Just do it, do you remember the time I caught you whacking off to Parade Magazine under wear pictures, did I say anything, No, I just pretended I did not see you and forgot something and went down the the hall,,is it not enough that you embarrassed him by acting like a dick even though when you were his age you were beating off to under wear pictures.


The old man is right.  What 15 year old boy doesn't have a wank now and again. It's a coming of age thing.  Is your husband afraid the kid's going to stutter or go blind or what?   Maybe he resents the fact that the kid has much more inspirational material than parade magazine available to him
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 26, 2019, 07:57:44 PM
The old man is right.  What 15 year old boy doesn't have a wank now and again. It's a coming of age thing.  Is your husband afraid the kid's going to stutter or go blind or what?   Maybe he resents the fact that the kid has much more inspirational material than parade magazine available to him
I had to laught when I read your post, back in the day there was underwear now nothjing is left to the imagination.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: GravitySucks on April 26, 2019, 07:59:35 PM
FIL says he was intimate (not his words) with hundreds of women from every part of the world even an Albino African Midget from Rhodesia and it got to the point where sex became work and not fun and tried to find ways around it but once he met his true love and married her she would be his one and only from then on and there never has been one since that could interest him and as far as Hubby or me know when FIL has never been in a sexual relationship with anyone since the death of his wife /my husbands mother.

Does he have a deadbolt on his bedroom door?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 26, 2019, 08:07:22 PM
Does he have a deadbolt on his bedroom door?
No lock but he does not care but I have seen him drop his pants and spread his cheeks to prove that he has hair on his ass,, no kidding.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 27, 2019, 01:02:50 PM
Well,this is getting too much, this is a new low for FIL,, today around 2:30 AM we got a call that FIL was arrested and we could pick him up at the local Police Station or in the morning he was going before the Judge for assault and sexual acts of degradation,, it sounds a lot worse than it was, FIL got into an argument over something stupid with a 30ish hipster,,according to the Police report, FIL got into a discussion with the so called hipster over Socialism and FIL asked hipster if he wanted to see what Socialism does to a country and he grabbed hipster by the sides of his face and spit into his face (the assault charge) and then bent his head down to his pelvic area and did a pelvic thrust into his face (sexual acts of degradation)  and broke his nose, FIL was released on a PR Bond.  This is the last straw, I can't have this violence in my house around my children, what he does reflects on my family and my children
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on April 27, 2019, 01:06:51 PM
Well,this is getting too much, this is a new low for FIL,, today around 2:30 AM we got a call that FIL was arrested and we could pick him up at the local Police Station or in the morning he was going before the Judge for assault and sexual acts of degradation,, it sounds a lot worse than it was, FIL got into an argument over something stupid with a 30ish hipster,,according to the Police report, FIL got into a discussion with the so called hipster over Socialism and FIL asked hipster if he wanted to see what Socialism does to a country and he grabbed hipster by the sides of his face and spit into his face (the assault charge) and then bent his head down to his pelvic area and did a pelvic thrust into his face (sexual acts of degradation)  and broke his nose, FIL was released on a PR Bond.  This is the last straw, I can't have this violence in my house around my children, what he does reflects on my family and my children

O
M
G

FIL makes me laugh - because that is some funny shit
and sad- because he really doesn't have an off switch
and laugh again- because really who hasn't wanted to see that happen to a ignorant hipster spouting bull shit they know nothing about.
and sad again- cause this is your life and it's a bummer you have an old man on your hands that is determined to be a complete pain in your ass.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 27, 2019, 01:13:51 PM
Well,this is getting too much, this is a new low for FIL,, today around 2:30 AM we got a call that FIL was arrested and we could pick him up at the local Police Station or in the morning he was going before the Judge for assault and sexual acts of degradation,, it sounds a lot worse than it was, FIL got into an argument over something stupid with a 30ish hipster,,according to the Police report, FIL got into a discussion with the so called hipster over Socialism and FIL asked hipster if he wanted to see what Socialism does to a country and he grabbed hipster by the sides of his face and spit into his face (the assault charge) and then bent his head down to his pelvic area and did a pelvic thrust into his face (sexual acts of degradation)  and broke his nose, FIL was released on a PR Bond.  This is the last straw, I can't have this violence in my house around my children, what he does reflects on my family and my children
Humor mode off - you've been a trooper to share this with us, the good and the bad.

I guess it was always going to be a messy end, so sorry for you and your family. :-[
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 27, 2019, 01:29:58 PM
O
M
G

FIL makes me laugh - because that is some funny shit
and sad- because he really doesn't have an off switch
and laugh again- because really who hasn't wanted to see that happen to a ignorant hipster spouting bull shit they know nothing about.
and sad again- cause this is your life and it's a bummer you have an old man on your hands that is determined to be a complete pain in your ass.
Very True, he has no off switch, just a pressure switch and when it is flipped he goes off until all the steam escapes and that is very dangerous and my husband won't say a thing against him,,husband is no wimp but when it comes to challenging his father he always ignores it.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on April 28, 2019, 10:36:26 PM
The old man is right.  What 15 year old boy doesn't have a wank now and again. It's a coming of age thing.  Is your husband afraid the kid's going to stutter or go blind or what?   Maybe he resents the fact that the kid has much more inspirational material than parade magazine available to him
No shit.  Nobody has ever g-g-g-g-gone blind fm waxing some wood.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on April 28, 2019, 10:37:39 PM
No lock but he does not care but I have seen him drop his pants and spread his cheeks to prove that he has hair on his ass,, no kidding.
Wait.  Your FIL?  Has you check his ass for hair? 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on April 29, 2019, 08:17:40 AM
Very True, he has no off switch, just a pressure switch and when it is flipped he goes off until all the steam escapes and that is very dangerous and my husband won't say a thing against him,,husband is no wimp but when it comes to challenging his father he always ignores it.

Just a brief question, and I hope it's not too prying - is/was alcohol involved?

Few ever learn a thing when under that fog.

I mean he might have been able to sustain his point with far less damage by simply talking said 30 year old, 'inviting him' to buy a round for the house, then challenging him to stay the night and see what his actual rate of return is...

I know, my "drinking games" are hopelessly "near beer" in deviousness... :P
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Kidnostad on April 30, 2019, 10:11:11 PM
No shit.  Nobody has ever g-g-g-g-gone blind fm waxing some wood.

Hell yeah.  Just let the kid have at it until he needs glasses. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Kidnostad on April 30, 2019, 10:37:23 PM
Well,this is getting too much, this is a new low for FIL,, today around 2:30 AM we got a call that FIL was arrested and we could pick him up at the local Police Station or in the morning he was going before the Judge for assault and sexual acts of degradation,, it sounds a lot worse than it was, FIL got into an argument over something stupid with a 30ish hipster,,according to the Police report, FIL got into a discussion with the so called hipster over Socialism and FIL asked hipster if he wanted to see what Socialism does to a country and he grabbed hipster by the sides of his face and spit into his face (the assault charge) and then bent his head down to his pelvic area and did a pelvic thrust into his face (sexual acts of degradation)  and broke his nose, FIL was released on a PR Bond.  This is the last straw, I can't have this violence in my house around my children, what he does reflects on my family and my children

Okay, that's taking a teaching opportunity a tad too far.  Sounds like he might be a candidate for psych eval and, if alcohol is involved in his bizarre behavior, substance abuse rehab.  It's usually court ordered when something like that occurs.  Whatever the case, you and your family need to be protected and your husband isn't doing FIL any favors by putting up with his shit.  Husband needs to step up if the court doesn't follow through on this. 

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on May 01, 2019, 01:25:05 PM
Hell yeah.  Just let the kid have at it until he needs glasses.

Or...

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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on May 01, 2019, 08:56:33 PM
Sorry FIL went over the deep end.  Tell me he didn't really break the kid's nose?  Just bent it?  If he just spat and was gross, especially if he was drinking.... might be forgivable.   Do you have a backhouse he could stay in away from the family?   If faced with homelessness, do you think he would consent to daily, witnessed medication?  A little bit of behavioral counseling might go a long way with him.  He parents must have been awful.  DO YOU HAVE A LOCK ON YOUR BEDROOM DOOR?  Do it  :).  You know, you could get locks for all bedroom doors while he stays with you.  I would make sure they use different keys and that you have a master key for all of them (in your car, of course, where no one could get them).  FIL might notice that you put the boy's door back on & even let him lock it, so he would approve of that which is a win-win, at a time when a win-win is needed.  And just don't mention the lock on your door, or say if a kid needs one, surely a husband and wife do, too, lol.  And let FIL have one, for old times' sake, lol.  Everyone needs time out sometimes.  The idea could reduce the pressure you feel. 

Did you know GD also was arrested in the last few days?  It's true.  Not as dramatic or violent, though.  It was around the time of the new moon, which affects tides.  And we are primarily water.

Did the adolescent get his door back on?  Better to have a bedroom door that he should develop worse outlets like getting weird in public restrooms or taking all day in the shower, or worse, considering predation.  Maybe your husband could get him some girlie magazines, which honestly are usually more wholesome than online stuff.  Net Nanny time?

Sounds like a lot of serious stress all at once.  Hope you're hanging in there.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 02, 2019, 07:50:43 PM
Ok, we got back from FIL's pre-sentencing, it seems that if he pleads guilty he would get Court Costs, $1500 fine, medical bills or he could go for a jury trail or plead no-contest and he took Jury Trail which is scheduled for the 30th of this month, but if the guy does not respond to the Court summons atleast 7 days before the court date the charges will be dropped and the guy is from Camden, NJ
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 02, 2019, 08:02:43 PM
Now two things that were funny today was FIL bought a Reuben from Arby's and put it on the coffee table and went into to kitchen to get a drink and Louie (the Boxer dog) stole it and FIL was chasing him out the front door, it was so funny to see long lanky Louie running and hitting the screen door and into the woodline with FIL's sandwich in his mouth and the other was when Cassien was watching one of the Sharknado movies and the part where the CHIPPENDALES guy pelvic thrusts the shark,,she said "Look that is what grandpa did, he hit the shark with his stomach",, funny but not funny
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on May 02, 2019, 11:42:23 PM
Never a dull moment.  The dog probably deserved a good sandwich!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on May 03, 2019, 12:04:49 AM
Never a dull moment.  The dog probably deserved a good sandwich!

Years ago, I left a full loaf of good old white Wonder Bread out on the counter before leaving for the store.  When I got back I discovered that my black lab Shade had grabbed it off the counter and had eaten all of the bread.  Somehow she avoided eating the wrapper.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on May 03, 2019, 09:53:23 AM
Ok, we got back from FIL's pre-sentencing, it seems that if he pleads guilty he would get Court Costs, $1500 fine, medical bills or he could go for a jury trail or plead no-contest and he took Jury Trail which is scheduled for the 30th of this month, but if the guy does not respond to the Court summons atleast 7 days before the court date the charges will be dropped and the guy is from Camden, NJ

Mercy, the old codger has doubled down on stupid and yet he may still "win"...damn...

 :o
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 03, 2019, 11:44:43 AM
Mercy, the old codger has doubled down on stupid and yet he may still "win"...damn...

 :o
I know right,, not that I want him to go to jail or whatever but he has no respect for what little life he has left needless to say about the feeling about other people he affects with his stupid crap and his son(my husband) just lets him get away with anything he wants. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 03, 2019, 12:11:22 PM
Wait.  Your FIL?  Has you check his ass for hair?
No, one of FIL's so called friends told him that he didn't have a hair on his ass if he didn't slap the taste out of his sons mouth for bad talking him and he just pulled down his pants and spread his cheeks and said he has more hair in the crack of his ass than  you do  on your head.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on May 03, 2019, 12:25:05 PM
Years ago, I left a full loaf of good old white Wonder Bread out on the counter before leaving for the store.  When I got back I discovered that my black lab Shade had grabbed it off the counter and had eaten all of the bread.  Somehow she avoided eating the wrapper.
Happened to my fam, too.  Years ago.  We had just adopted a dog.  We baked fresh bread and left it on the counter to cool.  Came back and the damn dog had jumped onto the counter, retrieved the bread and feasted.

I beat the shit out of that dog.  Now, the damn dog  is grafted to my side wherever I go.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on May 03, 2019, 12:26:00 PM
No, one of FIL's so called friends told him that he didn't have a hair on his ass if he didn't slap the taste out of his sons mouth for bad talking him and he just pulled down his pants and spread his cheeks and said he has more hair in the crack of his ass than  you do  on your head.
aaaaaah.  I see.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on May 03, 2019, 01:32:51 PM
I know right,, not that I want him to go to jail or whatever but he has no respect for what little life he has left needless to say about the feeling about other people he affects with his stupid crap and his son(my husband) just lets him get away with anything he wants.
Be glad the apple at least rolled away from that tree, yes?

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to juggle...
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on May 03, 2019, 02:53:05 PM
Happened to my fam, too.  Years ago.  We had just adopted a dog.  We baked fresh bread and left it on the counter to cool.  Came back and the damn dog had jumped onto the counter, retrieved the bread and feasted.

I beat the shit out of that dog.  Now, the damn dog  is grafted to my side wherever I go.
I don't know what grafted to your side means?  Don't beat doggies.  They are only mortal, just like us.  All they ever get is devitalized dog food?  Must be hard to resist unattended fresh food for 8 hours?  They aren't super-beings.  I suppose if the dog had fought back, you would have killed him?  One time, I started to get too harsh with my dog and he bared his teeth at me, letting me know he'd fight back.  I'm glad.  It's hard to get a horrible news article out of my mind of someone who killed their dog fighting with it.  You wouldn't do that, would you?   
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on May 03, 2019, 03:22:58 PM
Years ago, I left a full loaf of good old white Wonder Bread out on the counter before leaving for the store.  When I got back I discovered that my black lab Shade had grabbed it off the counter and had eaten all of the bread.  Somehow she avoided eating the wrapper.
I had shopped at a co-op (Out here that means bulk food store).  I left 4 heavy bags with all sorts of nuts, herbs, spices, flours, carob, and chocolate chips out.  But they were up high.  My 50-ld (at the time) dog got into it.  I guess he avoided the plastic well enough.  When I came home & saw all the piles of tossed cookies & digested ones too, I assumed he was dead.  So many piles of crap.  Evidently dogs can't help (?) themselves.  But, he was not dead.  We went straight to the late-night, extra-charge veterinarian.  She said he ate enough chocolate to possibly be poisoned.  She said the other groceries may have saved his life by making him vomit.  I think psyllium husk was one grocery (hope he mixed it with water because it would fatally block the intestines otherwise).  She gave him a special charcoal solution in a huge syringe & I had to give him more later.  She said to stay up all night, just in case he became poisoned.  Had to stay up to clean anyway, before work the next day.  On the way home from the vet, he was still high from all the caffeine in the chocolate.  His eyes were twinkling & that jazz song, "I feel good" was on the radio.  He turned his head from left to right looking out the Jeep windows to the rhythm of the music, until he turned his head left one more time and tossed his cookies again in the console, and a little on me.  A very long night, a very sick dog, a lot of cleaning, and ruined groceries... all because I didn't know my dog could reach up high for food.  He ended up fine, but I never bought bulk chocolate chips again.  Nor carob.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 03, 2019, 03:54:06 PM
I don't know what grafted to your side means?  Don't beat doggies.  They are only mortal, just like us.  All they ever get is devitalized dog food?  Must be hard to resist unattended fresh food for 8 hours?  They aren't super-beings.  I suppose if the dog had fought back, you would have killed him?  One time, I started to get too harsh with my dog and he bared his teeth at me, letting me know he'd fight back.  I'm glad.  It's hard to get a horrible news article out of my mind of someone who killed their dog fighting with it.  You wouldn't do that, would you?

I know exactaly what it means,, Louie follows FIL every where he FIL says Louie is giving him Chinese Eyes, FIL sleeps, Louie is by his door but will never enter,, the only time that Louie ever goes against FIL is when he is rough housing with the kids, then Louie gets between them and barks with a very deep dog voice
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: 26 horses on May 03, 2019, 04:06:40 PM
I know exactaly what it means,, Louie follows FIL every where he FIL says Louie is giving him Chinese Eyes, FIL sleeps, Louie is by his door but will never enter,, the only time that Louie ever goes against FIL is when he is rough housing with the kids, then Louie gets between them and barks with a very deep dog voice

Has Louie taken a grandpa beating too? As unrestrained as the old guy is it's hard to imagine he set any boundaries with animals either... :-\

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on May 03, 2019, 08:22:51 PM
I don't know what grafted to your side means?  Don't beat doggies.  They are only mortal, just like us.  All they ever get is devitalized dog food?  Must be hard to resist unattended fresh food for 8 hours?  They aren't super-beings. I suppose if the dog had fought back, you would have killed him? One time, I started to get too harsh with my dog and he bared his teeth at me, letting me know he'd fight back.  I'm glad.  It's hard to get a horrible news article out of my mind of someone who killed their dog fighting with it.  You wouldn't do that, would you?
It wouldn't have been good for  the dog. 


Grafted:  At my side constantly.  Never leaves me except to crap.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Kidnostad on May 04, 2019, 07:29:29 AM
When I was about 8 or 9 we had a white German Shepherd named "Whitey."  (We were always very clever in naming our pets.)  On occasion he would escape from our fenced in backyard and I was usually the one sent out to round him up.  One of those times I found him with a freshly killed chicken in his mouth that he would not surrender until I got him back into the yard where my Dad was standing at which time he proudly dropped the chicken at my Dad's  feet.   My Dad scolded the dog severely and then went to settle up with an old gentleman who lived about a mile from us who raised a few chickens.   

A few weeks later, I came home to find my Dad chasing Whitey around the backyard and beating him with a dead chicken. There they were, my father swinging the dead bird like a tennis racket while cursing a blue streak, Whitey scooting around with tail tucked and yelping and feathers flying all over.  It was a sight to behold.  It turned out that the old gent who owned the chickens had told my Dad that beating the dog with the carcass would cure him of his chicken thievery.  It worked.  The dog went straight after that, never again to bring home a limp chicken. 
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: 26 horses on May 04, 2019, 08:54:39 AM
When I was about 8 or 9 we had a white German Shepherd named "Whitey."  (We were always very clever in naming our pets.)  On occasion he would escape from our fenced in backyard and I was usually the one sent out to round him up.  One of those times I found him with a freshly killed chicken in his mouth that he would not surrender until I got him back into the yard where my Dad was standing at which time he proudly dropped the chicken at my Dad's  feet.   My Dad scolded the dog severely and then went to settle up with an old gentleman who lived about a mile from us who raised a few chickens.   

A few weeks later, I came home to find my Dad chasing Whitey around the backyard and beating him with a dead chicken. There they were, my father swinging the dead bird like a tennis racket while cursing a blue streak, Whitey scooting around with tail tucked and yelping and feathers flying all over.  It was a sight to behold.  It turned out that the old gent who owned the chickens had told my Dad that beating the dog with the carcass would cure him of his chicken thievery.  It worked.  The dog went straight after that, never again to bring home a limp chicken.

ROTFLOL!

Oh the imagery - well, so how did things go when he brought home turgid chickens? ;)
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Kidnostad on May 04, 2019, 12:11:40 PM
ROTFLOL!

Oh the imagery - well, so how did things go when he brought home turgid chickens? ;)

After that I don't recall his bringing anything home.    I guess the takeaway for Whitey was that my old man
got really crabby when he brought something home and dumped it on the lawn.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Sofia on May 04, 2019, 12:31:14 PM
When I was about 8 or 9 we had a white German Shepherd named "Whitey."  (We were always very clever in naming our pets.)  On occasion he would escape from our fenced in backyard and I was usually the one sent out to round him up.  One of those times I found him with a freshly killed chicken in his mouth that he would not surrender until I got him back into the yard where my Dad was standing at which time he proudly dropped the chicken at my Dad's  feet.   My Dad scolded the dog severely and then went to settle up with an old gentleman who lived about a mile from us who raised a few chickens.   

A few weeks later, I came home to find my Dad chasing Whitey around the backyard and beating him with a dead chicken. There they were, my father swinging the dead bird like a tennis racket while cursing a blue streak, Whitey scooting around with tail tucked and yelping and feathers flying all over.  It was a sight to behold.  It turned out that the old gent who owned the chickens had told my Dad that beating the dog with the carcass would cure him of his chicken thievery.  It worked.  The dog went straight after that, never again to bring home a limp chicken.
That's really cool.

It wouldn't have been good for  the dog. 


Grafted:  At my side constantly.  Never leaves me except to crap.
I appreciate Astro B*tch's explanation, but why would a dog Velcro someone who hurt him so bad?  I would think it would cause more independence or fear, not a bond?  Was it a male dog?  I've had Velcro pets; love that.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: 26 horses on May 04, 2019, 05:24:56 PM
That's really cool.
I appreciate Astro B*tch's explanation, but why would a dog Velcro someone who hurt him so bad?  I would think it would cause more independence or fear, not a bond?  Was it a male dog?  I've had Velcro pets; love that.

Might be a classic beta male - literally!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: paladin1991 on May 04, 2019, 11:39:40 PM
That's really cool.
I appreciate Astro B*tch's explanation, but why would a dog Velcro someone who hurt him so bad?  I would think it would cause more independence or fear, not a bond?  Was it a male dog?  I've had Velcro pets; love that.
Yes.  It's a male.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 09, 2019, 05:28:02 PM
I don't think FIL ever hit Louie because when he got on all fours and blew in Louie's face and Louie rip Clawed him in the eye (as my girl calls it) he just shook it off and said he deserved it for getting on his level.  Ok so FIL is now making blades(as he calls it) and he has this country group blearing from his work shop(more like a shed) https://youtu.be/B9FzVhw8_bY  (https://youtu.be/B9FzVhw8_bY), it starting to drive me crazy.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 09, 2019, 06:42:38 PM
That's really cool.
I appreciate Astro B*tch's explanation, but why would a dog Velcro someone who hurt him so bad?  I would think it would cause more independence or fear, not a bond?  Was it a male dog?  I've had Velcro pets; love that.
Animals just like people gravitate to those who are/hold power as in the Alpha/dominate dog
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Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on May 09, 2019, 08:13:30 PM
I don't think FIL ever hit Louie because when he got on all fours and blew in Louie's face and Louie rip Clawed him in the eye (as my girl calls it) he just shook it off and said he deserved it for getting on his level.  Ok so FIL is now making blades(as he calls it) and he has this country group blearing from his work shop(more like a shed) https://youtu.be/B9FzVhw8_bY  (https://youtu.be/B9FzVhw8_bY), it starting to drive me crazy.
I love those guys!

Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Sofia on May 10, 2019, 01:11:09 AM
Animals just like people gravitate to those who are/hold power as in the Alpha/dominate dog
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Just my opinion, but I think a beating backfires with a lot of personality types.  Not everyone is willing to sell out for handouts.  It even wrap my head around it, but it does explain the mob mentality.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Sofia on May 10, 2019, 01:11:53 AM
Yes.  It's a male.
Hmmm.  Well, in humans, men do seem to resolve things by fighting sometimes.  I've heard some male dogs are that way.  As time goes on, more and more women are starting to fight too, which I find gross.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 12, 2019, 04:10:20 PM
Hmmm.  Well, in humans, men do seem to resolve things by fighting sometimes.  I've heard some male dogs are that way.  As time goes on, more and more women are starting to fight too, which I find gross.
that is because they want to be the Alpha bitch amongst bitches
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Sofia on May 14, 2019, 12:32:14 AM
that is because they want to be the Alpha bitch amongst bitches
Crazy.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: paladin1991 on May 14, 2019, 12:39:57 AM
Hmmm.  Well, in humans, men do seem to resolve things by fighting sometimes.  I've heard some male dogs are that way.  As time goes on, more and more women are starting to fight too, which I find gross.
Nothing gets me hotter than a good cat fight.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: PolkaDot on May 14, 2019, 11:38:20 AM
Nothing gets me hotter than a good cat fight.
That sounds like something FIL would say.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law say
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 17, 2019, 07:00:53 PM
That sounds like something FIL would say.
FIL says Louie is so stupid he won't chase cats, fetch a stick or catch food in his mouth, it just hits him in the face and falls down in front of him then he eats it, but he sure as hell will steal his sandwich bust the hell out the back door and Rip Claw (Cassie's name for it) him in the eye when he blows in his face but they are always together.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 21, 2019, 01:36:01 PM
Today FIL was sleeping in the yard in a low lawn chair and Louie came up to him and pissed on him and louie just strutted away like he had no care in the world
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: PolkaDot on May 21, 2019, 09:56:39 PM
Today FIL was sleeping in the yard in a low lawn chair and Louie came up to him and pissed on him and louie just strutted away like he had no care in the world
They both have terrible manners.  :(
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on May 22, 2019, 02:56:36 AM
Today FIL was sleeping in the yard in a low lawn chair and Louie came up to him and pissed on him and louie just strutted away like he had no care in the world
Lol.  They are an interesting match.  Is the court stuff winding down?  GD had to do community service for her trespass/civil disobedience.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on May 30, 2019, 07:35:08 PM
Well today was FIL's court date,, the case was dismissed because the other guy never showed up, you would figure that he would of been happy and want to get the out of that place but oh noo , not him he wanted to stay and watch the other court cases.  On the way to records his lawyer asked him now that the case is dismissed he just wanted to know how he broke a mans nose with a pelvic thrust,, FIL replied in typical FIL fashion, I always wear a cup and knocked himself in the groin so the lawyer could hear the knocking,, he just laughed and shook his head and said, just as well, I did not think a 35 year old man would want to be known as the man who was dry humped and had his nose broken by a 70 year old.  My father once told me that Buddha looks after little kids, pets and old people and it must be true because if it was anyone else they would of been locked up.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on May 30, 2019, 08:33:04 PM
Well today was FIL's court date,, the case was dismissed because the other guy never showed up, you would figure that he would of been happy and want to get the out of that place but oh noo , not him he wanted to stay and watch the other court cases.  On the way to records his lawyer asked him now that the case is dismissed he just wanted to know how he broke a mans nose with a pelvic thrust,, FIL replied in typical FIL fashion, I always wear a cup and knocked himself in the groin so the lawyer could hear the knocking,, he just laughed and shook his head and said, just as well, I did not think a 35 year old man would want to be known as the man who was dry humped and had his nose broken by a 70 year old.  My father once told me that Buddha looks after little kids, pets and old people and it must be true because if it was anyone else they would of been locked up.
Wow, he lucked out!  Kinda smart too.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: paladin1991 on May 31, 2019, 10:49:41 PM
Wow, he lucked out!  Kinda smart too.
Sofia, what kind of cup do you think he wears?  Coffee cup?
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on June 11, 2019, 01:10:40 AM
Sofia, what kind of cup do you think he wears?  Coffee cup?
Decaf.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on July 04, 2019, 05:08:22 PM
Well today we found out that FIL took Deandre to the DMV to get his drivers license except he took him for the motor cycle test.  OK, the funny part was he said DeAndre was as nervous as a fat dog at a Korean BBQ but passed the test using FIL's 1949 Harley,,although we are pissed at the drivers test the FAT DOG AT A KOREAN BBQ made me laugh.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Sofia on July 06, 2019, 02:34:44 AM
Well today we found out that FIL took Deandre to the DMV to get his drivers license except he took him for the motor cycle test.  OK, the funny part was he said DeAndre was as nervous as a fat dog at a Korean BBQ but passed the test using FIL's 1949 Harley,,although we are pissed at the drivers test the FAT DOG AT A KOREAN BBQ made me laugh.
That's great that he passed!
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Astro Bitch on July 19, 2019, 10:58:08 PM
Well another day and another FIL experience,, Today Hubby got a call from Cassie that Grandpa was going to shoot the Police or the Police was going to shoot Grand Pa,,too make a long story short, the Town of Mt. Pleasant came to FIL's garage/forge (as he likes to call it) about some teenagers riding dirt bikes,, everything was fine until one of the Officers asked FIL if he could hand over his gun (FIUL always carries a M1911 full metal jacket and not those wimpy wad cutters as he likes to say) 
Fil said no, I don't think so and the Offices said it is for your protection as well as mine and FIL said well this is for my protection and not yours, FIL told the Office that he knew nothing or saw or heard and dirt bikes and said if that is all, I got work to do and went back to beating on metal,,,within 5 minutes 3 more Police cars arrived and now there are 8 Officers and FIl tells them unless you have a yWarrant don't open my gate, you are being video taped with sound AND DATE TIME STAMP,,now the Police want to see his CCP (concealed carry permit) and so FIL replied I don't need no fuc@ing CCP, it is not concealed and this is my property and I can open carry and as a matter of fact, your jurisdiction ends at that road (Hwy17) and you have nothing to do down here and you need to call ther Sheriff (which is true because Fils property is just outside the Town of Mount Pleasant and any 911 calls go to the Sheriff as well as fire and emergency, just on the back side of our property, he even has a dirrerent electric and water company and we are just a few yards away)  OK, so now the cops are made fools of and no cop wants to be made the fool so now they are profiling and FIL said, if you cross this gate I will sue you and the town for money to just wipe my ass with,, 20 minutes later a SGT and a Sheriff's Deputy arrived and talked amoungst them selves, the town cops left and the Sheriff's Deputy apologized and told FIL, next time don't be an ass and FiL replied why is protecting and enforceing my rights being an ass, according to DeAndre the Deputy jush shook his head and said next time just give me a call.
Title: Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
Post by: Rikki Gins on July 20, 2019, 12:11:47 AM
Well another day and another FIL experience...

Good for your FIL!