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Rikki Gins Lounge => Random Topics => Topic started by: Sofia on December 06, 2018, 06:47:50 PM

Title: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 06, 2018, 06:47:50 PM
Whew.  Dodged a bullet today.  Grandma's daughter got home earlier than expected.  Oh boy, I had done all sorts of things "wrong".  My vehicle was in the wrong spot, groceries were in the garage, the entry, and the kitchen.  Packages were open on the counter, food cooking.  A total, chaotic mess by Grandma's daughter's standards.

But nothing happened.  She was high as a kite from her day and talked pleasantly for half an hour before retiring.  Whew.  A miracle on a hard day.  Unbelievable.  This woman who hit the roof last night over how the dishes were set in the drainer (her dishes which she asked me to wash as a favor, on top of her draining dishes from the day before, lol.)  Who was.trying to.rip my bedroom door off its hinges the day before because I forgot to empty the dish washer (We've only just recently started using it).  Nevermind I vacuumed the whole condo, cleaned and polished both interior interior door sliding tracks, swept the driveway-sidewalk-porch, and cleaned blinds.

Lucky day.  Waiting for the other shoe.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 06, 2018, 07:53:25 PM
Would you consider this new living situation to be a step up from the last place with its strange inhabitants? I think the other place actually sounded worse..  Do you still have your elderly cat?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 06, 2018, 11:26:21 PM
Would you consider this new living situation to be a step up from the last place with its strange inhabitants? I think the other place actually sounded worse.  Do you still have your elderly cat?
The cat is much better off here.

On the one hand, this place is a step up in many ways and there are no drunks here!  But last week, I realized I haven't been happy.  So, I made a list of both places and did a comparison.  The result was that there were/are some things I needed to change here in order to be happy.  Like, borrowing the adjustible chair, as you and I discussed.  Very important.

So, I've been making some little changes to suit myself and am doing much better, with hope of feeling happier from day to day.  I was surprised at the things on my list of analysis, comparing this place with the last one.  I hadn't realized so many little things were devitalizing me.  I'm just trying to go along to get along, you know.  But, after doing the lists, I am definitely changing a few things.  It's helping a lot toward daily happiness.

It just goes to show that what makes a person happy is not always as clear as one would think.  As an example, we don't have a completely fenced area.  So I've been walking cat on a short leash.  After doing my comparison list, I fashioned a much longer, much more lightweight leash for cat.  And that made all the difference in the quality of our walks.  Things like that (about 12 things). 

Since moving here, I've had big disappointments in my own health, the job market, local air quality, big pharma, and that GD doesn't wash her hands very much.  If I didn't buy soap (hand, dish, and laundry), I am not sure she would use any.

But, there are new perks like exercise areas, having the place to myself a lot, and being able to garage the car.  There is no daily crow show here, but snow geese pass over frequently and we have squirrels.

Now that I know what is bugging me, I can take necessary steps to suit myself, adjust to my disappointments, and enjoy the new perks.

But I don't want to be here any longer than necessary.  There are some very serious reasons why I have not been close over the years (not just the weekly dv).  But any port in a storm!



Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 07, 2018, 01:06:44 PM
I have asked GD, an avid and social hiker, to take me hiking for ten years.  She never invites me, with her friends or alone.  Her friends like me, no problem there, and my strength and stamina are great.  I actually slow down a little for GD.  Maybe GD is confused because I was injured from 2009-2014 and couldn't do long hikes.  But I have persevered in mentioning I would like to go, recently and since 2014.

She is on the phone now, telling an acquaintance that she may attend one of their hikes tomorrow with another younger female relative.  It will be the second time the two have hiked without me.  The younger relative likes me a lot, so that's not the issue.  GD went on to say she might take the relative to a nearby trail which I begged her to go to last month before all the leaves fell from the trees.  Wow.  I don't rate for hikes.  Meanwhile she ridicules me for carrying extra pounds, but I do exercise on my own.  I could ask to go, a reminder of my desires.  Then again, maybe not.

GD plays people against each other and prefers to portray each relative in the most least flattering light.  IE, if you finished a degree "online", she will say you dropped out of college.  That sort of thing.  Can't tell her anything unless it is well-framed to prevent disparagement.

Newest quality-of-life changes:

Senior cat has never been able to hop up on chairs or couches, so she has been unable to see out the windows to all the bird activity here.  She stays away from the sliding door, too, as it is a dangerous high-traffic area around a blind corner.  Grandma's daughter may be a senior citizen, but she sprints through the house like lightning.  It is kind of a freak habit, really - a constant collision hazard.  When no one else is home, I have been moving a chair to the sliding door.  By sitting there, I stabilize the corner from traffic.  Now, senior cat comes over and feels safe, knowing no one can trample her flying around the corner.  She has discovered squirrels, too.  Sometimes I open the door so she can smell the outdoors through the screen.

Last night, I once again tried to re-position Senior Cat's bed so it now faces 2 windows so she can finally see all the bird action she has been missing this whole time. Thiis time, Senior Cat actually accepted the change, maybe since I did it at a cuddly time and stayed there with her during GD's TV hour.  A joyful thing for my heart!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 07, 2018, 05:46:17 PM
Well, I hope that everything works out for you, when my Father in law came to live with us I thought it was going to be the end of the world as I knew it.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 07, 2018, 09:08:51 PM
Well, I hope that everything works out for you, when my Father in law came to live with us I thought it was going to be the end of the world as I knew it.
He is a handful, sounds like.  But, an intelligent one.  She is with a relative tonight.  Peaceful night for Cinderella.  I did a lot of house work.  She won't notice it, but maybe visitors will & someone might adopt me.  I was really hoping the linoleum would brighten up in darker places, but it has a texture and did not whiten.  It would be nice to have a self-wringing stick mop that can really scrub.  Getting on my hands and knees is not my style.

She is so funny, saying, "If my clothes in the dryer bother you, just put them in my room".  Oh no, no, no.  I'm not emptying the dryer for her.  If I use the dryer, I will set just put hers back in when I'm done.  Because she doesn't walk her talk.  Give her an inch and she tries to rip my door down because I didn't give her a mile.  (Of course, if she said she needed help with it, then I would help).
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 07, 2018, 09:25:19 PM
Well, I hope that everything works out for you, when my Father in law came to live with us I thought it was going to be the end of the world as I knew it.
Maybe if you weren't such an assface. Have you considered that? Huh? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: albrecht on December 08, 2018, 01:38:35 PM
I'm confused. If you are living with your grandma's daughter wouldn't she be your aunt?

A young couple moved into the neighborhood. I talked to the dude a bit, they have a new baby and he said that they are moving in and also bringing her mom and his dad (both of whom had deceased spouses, I think, maybe one was divorced) and at least one of them has health problems. So, basically, BOTH of them are living with their in-laws in the house and trying to start a family of their own. He sort of made separate suites for them on the first floor (no stairs) and then their room, baby's room, and family room/office on 2nd floor. He said something like "well, we will see how this goes...." but looked like he wasn't looking forward to this living arrangement.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 08, 2018, 03:49:05 PM
Maybe if you weren't such an assface. Have you considered that? Huh? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
@Astro Bitch  Apologies, my account was hacked last night. All good now. 8)
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 09, 2018, 12:15:46 AM
@Astro Bitch  Apologies, my account was hacked last night. All good now. 8)
Was your BG account hacked on Nov 1st too?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 09, 2018, 12:18:05 AM
I'm confused. If you are living with your grandma's daughter wouldn't she be your aunt?

A young couple moved into the neighborhood. I talked to the dude a bit, they have a new baby and he said that they are moving in and also bringing her mom and his dad (both of whom had deceased spouses, I think, maybe one was divorced) and at least one of them has health problems. So, basically, BOTH of them are living with their in-laws in the house and trying to start a family of their own. He sort of made separate suites for them on the first floor (no stairs) and then their room, baby's room, and family room/office on 2nd floor. He said something like "well, we will see how this goes...." but looked like he wasn't looking forward to this living arrangement.
Something like that, yes.  Poor guy!  But has built-in childcare, and with any luck, built-in chauffers, present wrappers, errand runners, cooks and maids!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 09, 2018, 12:20:34 AM
A quiet day, house sitting basically.  I remember GD said before her short trip, "If my clothes in the dryer bother you, just put them in my room.  Uh, no.  Back in the dryer they go, lol.  Now, if she asked nicely, of course I would put her clothes away for her.  Then again, if she was that nice, the clothes wouldn't be in the dryer two nights and three days.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 09, 2018, 01:53:07 AM
Was your BG account hacked on Nov 1st too?
Well hmm maybe it was now that you mention it. It happens more often than not and I feel horrible about it. Just, horrible and deplorable with a shimmy shaken' adorable hip thrust.  BTW I don't like your pillows, my neck is all stiff and out of sorts. BTW I didn't care for the breakfast although I appreciate your efforts.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 10, 2018, 01:37:42 AM
Well hmm maybe it was now that you mention it. It happens more often than not and I feel horrible about it. Just, horrible and deplorable with a shimmy shaken' adorable hip thrust.  BTW I don't like your pillows, my neck is all stiff and out of sorts. BTW I didn't care for the breakfast although I appreciate your efforts.
It was YOU in that costume???  That's misrepresentation molestation then.  Since nothing else happened. See you in court.  Robert is my attorney.  Better get the mail before the Mrs. comes home, then. 

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 11, 2018, 01:37:54 PM
Quiet day.  GD is away longer than expected.

Today, I picked up 6 spoons, 4 forks, a bowl, and 2 more saucers for this place.  Because GD asks me to pull those items out of the dishwasher and wash them, since we run out of those items before the dishwasher fills up once every ten days or so.  After having been in the dishwasher many days, of course the specified dishes she wants me to pull out and wash have week-old scum on them, even though they have been rinsed.  Does anyone see this as absurd as I do?  Well, we won't run out of utensils, saucers or bowls now.  They will adequately fill the washer, which we then will run.  Sheesh.  I tried to do this last paycheck, getting 4 spoons and two saucers, but evidently I didn't get enough provisions, because Friday night she once again asked me to haul open the dishwasher and wash items from it.  She didn't mind when I picked up a few things, though.  So hopefully she won't mind this time, either.  Things like this should just be taken care of, unless one is a vagabond!  She is the one supposedly "helping" me, but in order to get by here in a sane fashion, I often am nickle-dimed to pieces.

She likes to run out of necessary items, linens, flatware, and soaps... seems to thrive on the self-deprivation and chaos.  And the scarcity issues give her all sorts of ways to fret and control others.  Unnecessary self-deprivation and the ensuing frustrations are one way to avoid real life, I guess. She is lucky to have the health not to worry about waiting until the last minute to re-stock.  Not everyone can be so disorganized.  There will come a day when she will sorely wish she had not let things get so out of control for no reason, maybe on a day when her health takes a turn and she realizes she is unprepared.  That has happened to me in the past.  It's far better to try to keep things stocked while you are strong than to risk days of poor nutrition while too ill to go shopping.

I remember my dad had the same issues with her.  One day, when I was in high school, he couldn't take her derelict ways anymore.  Suddenly, in addition to working FT, he became the family food shopper.  After years of deprivation, we began to have adequate food in the house.  That was nice of him, but he did it for himself too.  He was trying to cope, living with a wife who begrudged him if he ate the food she prepared, which she never prepared enough of.  I can't imagine a young wife being so twisted.  To this day, she re-tells how she used to look down on him for taking the last piece of chicken.  But, why shouldn't he?  Gallantry does not mean going hungry in one's own castle.  A man should be welcome to eat his food, and since he paid for it, there should have been plenty of it.

Living here with adult eyes has made me appreciate my dad a lot more.  She fought with him like a volcano at bedtime, frequently.  It was diificult listening to them fight all the time, but maybe he took it so we wouldn't have to.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 12, 2018, 12:40:26 AM
GD came back.  After her 3-night stint.  I was gone 11 hours the day she returned.  She returned to a spotless home.  I also cleaned a small furnace while she was gone, which she knows.

I hadn't been in the door one minute when she became confrontational because she jumped to conclusions about something I said.  Didn't give me a chance to clarify.  At bedtime.  Sheesh.

This morning wasn't much better. Got to wake up hearing her berate a poor service worker on the phone for ten minutes.  Even when the representative gave good explanations, and even when GD started to be rational, she re-escalated over and over, ending the call horribly rudely and abruptly.  Only one F-word the whole time, though.

A few minutes later, I came out of my rented room.  So, I live here.  As such, I have a right to sit civilly at the kitchen table a bit when I wake up.  However, her mood hadn't shifted at all.  I got the same crap as the phone rep.  She was escalating; I was not.  This woman, who tried to rip my door off its hinges last week, suddenly went beserk again this morning.  Arms flailing, voice raised, crying bloody murder.  Yelling, "Why don't you respect my boundary?!". She didn't want me at the table ( a table she had had to herself for six consecutive hours).  I answered that I was raised by someone such as herself, lol.  I think she took it as a compliment.

Knowing she has undiagnosed hypoglycemia, I asked when her last meal was.  She scoffed, as I retreated back to my room, but I heard her eat a few minutes later.  I'd sure like to get a glucose reading from pricking her finger when she starts to rage, but it doesn't seem likely that I ever will.  I did give her homeopathic calming pellets, and she accepted them.

She went to the store a couple hours later.  I guess we made up, because she brought me a couple cans of food for the cat.  That was nice of her.

She doesn't know the cat tossed her cookies all day in multiple locations because of the morning yelling.  It's not the first time.  I mentioned it to GD once before.  I should mention it again?  Not sure.  Anything I say is used against me.  Mere mention of vomit could spark outrage over the (very worn) carpet.  Or, she would dismiss it as the cat just "being old".  From now on, though, I am going to put the cat in my room with white noise and feed her lightly during these outbursts.  I'm not supposed to feed her in my room, but then again, how many places does GD want tossed cookies!

Just in case the vomiting was caused by industry contamination, I opened a new can even though it wasn't at all time yet.  I microwaved the rest of the first can to purify it, even though it was just from yesterday.  I put it in a container in the freezer because I am not sure I'm ruling it out.  Money's tight.  But I also know there are problems with pet food companies from here which operate in China.  I'll probably discard it.

Kitty is fine.  She didn't have any distress otherwise, and broth then dinner stayed down.  So much cleaning.  It took a long time, and some things like her pet bed are still a bit damp.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 13, 2018, 08:25:54 AM
GD and I had talked abojt me getting some Queso Ranchero so she could sample a piece.  She didn't know what it was.  I melted a piece over a tortilla chip, then cut a raw piece and put the two samples in a tiny bowl.  I told her what I was doing.  It was lunch time. I set the bowl on the table.  We had a rapport going.

You would have thought I served her a possom!  She went from zero to ten on the agitation scale, flailing her arms, insisting, "Make it go away!  Not now!"  Sheesh.  My goodness.  Unbelievable rudeness.  I scooted it to the other end of the table, insulted but more feeling sorry for someone so wacko.

It had been fun watching Amy Goodman hound a resistant Trump employee together.  To the bumper music of, "You say goodbye; I say hello".  Amy Goodman works out!  She can do some serious aerobics chasing down people to interview.  Go, Amy! That was hot.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: rekcuf on December 13, 2018, 08:35:50 AM
looking forward to reading the post where you've brutally murdered and dismembered GD and stuffed her remains into a freezer. happy hunting.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 13, 2018, 09:32:19 AM
Keep a diary of this stuff, one day it will make a good TV show.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 13, 2018, 01:46:27 PM
This morning while I was prepping food: 
GD:  I have a very busy day.  I'll be leaving soon.
Me:  Would you like me to make a sack lunch for you?
GD:  No.

Later, while I was working out:
GD:  Now I have to leave and I don't have a lunch packed.
Me:  Would you like a couple meal replacement bars?
GD:  No, would you fix me a lunch while I finish getting ready to leave?

What would you do?  I had already offered a sack lunch when I was food prepping earlier and she said no.  Now that I was in the middle of a workout, I even offered a couple nutrition bars.  But she asked me to heat up and pack a lunch, in the middle of my workout!

What would you do?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 13, 2018, 01:55:45 PM
looking forward to reading the post where you've brutally murdered and dismembered GD and stuffed her remains into a freezer. happy hunting.
Au contraire!  I better keep working out!!

I can't even carve a chicken without praying for my soul, Honey.

Keep a diary of this stuff, one day it will make a good TV show.
Same to you, Dear!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 13, 2018, 04:17:55 PM
May be my FIL and your GD need to hook up and we can all watch the sparks fly?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 14, 2018, 02:20:15 AM
May be my FIL and your GD need to hook up and we can all watch the sparks fly?
That's great.  She's still quite cute and very wholesome, active, tidy.  Loves the earth, the environment, bridge, good movies and nature walks.  However, she can't stand guns though :(  !
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 14, 2018, 02:22:32 AM
Quiet night.  She wore herself out in save the earth meetings today.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 14, 2018, 06:13:13 PM
Maybe she is getting the point about hypoglycemia.  She tried to start a fight, but when I retreated, she ate. 

I ended up packing her lunch yesterday.  Odd, when she got home, she expected me to UNPACK the remains and clean it all up.  You give her an inch and she expects a mile.  Like when I empty the bulky kitchen garbage she wondered why I didn't empty the waste basket in her room!  Like when I haul a seasonal vacuum or fan to the garage, she wonders why I don't find a slipcover to put over it.  (Because she is far from helpless, that's why.  She doesn't have any arthritis or spinal problems, and she knows I do...)

Before her lunch, she was mean.  I dropped into the kitchen to give her the good news that she will have weekend mornings to herself soon, as I picked up a couple ongoing shifts.  My income went up 300% (which still is not much).  Instead of being happy for the improvement, she berated me for not doing better.
We are not Asian.  I can't imagine what is wrong with her.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 16, 2018, 02:01:20 AM
Movies tonight.  And she goes to bed the same way she starts her day, with nary a salutation.  Here one minute, gone the next.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 17, 2018, 12:32:21 AM
Sad day.

I stayed in my room again today, as has been very common lately when I am home.  It seems to make her happier.  I overheard her on a call, with a serious blood pressure concern.  I knew she might have to go to urgent care.  I came out and told her I was going outside to exercise.  I didn't say anything about her health because yesterday she got angry when I noticed she was taking her blood pressure in the dining room.

Well, while I was exercising, she drove by, rolled down her window and said she was "just going out for a little bit".  I knew she was probably going to urgent care but I didn't comment on that, bec I had only overheard her phone call earlier.  She had not actually told me.

When I got back in, I saw she had been monitoring BP.  It was obvious by the notes that she had needed to go to urgent care.  She should have let me drive her.

I put up Christmas lights as she had said she would like.  I put out the rest of her presents.  I did her dishes.  I vacuumed her floors.  And worried about her.

Four hours later she texted that she was going to sleep at my sibling's house quite a ways away.  She is not very emotionally close to them, and they are much further from the urgent care clinic.  I assumed she asked them for a ride home from the hospital, and that her car is still there.  Maybe not.

But why not have let me pick her up?  I have all the time in the world, live here in her home, and have a good driving record.  My sibling is very stressed out from work, tomorrow is Monday, and that entire family has a car crash practically every season.

I texted GD back to ask if she had arrived at their house yet.  She said no, and indicated they were with her, at the pharmacy.

Later I texted them and they warmly said GD is there and in bed, feeling fine.

Cinderella here is trying not to take it personally.  I feel like chopped liver.

She changed from Eloquis to Warfarin a couple months ago, because of the price.  But the whole new vitamin K thing gives her anxiety (reasonably) plus with Warfarin she has to (copay and) get her blood checked a lot for vitamin K.  Evidently the stopping Eloquis has possibly affected her BP, in the last week, although I heard her blame the (sudden) BP increase on me.  Me?!  Whatever.

There is family-loaded emotional history, recent as well as years back, regarding her interacting negatively with others who have had the same concerns she now faces too.  And there is loaded history with her obvious pecking order of us siblings.  And, her always ridiculing my extra pounds, while I exercise all the time and she never even exercises at all!  But family psycho-history aside, right now it just feels sad and pitiful that her oldest child, me, is evidently a pariah in her own home, in her time of need. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 17, 2018, 03:01:42 PM
I called to check in her.  She was brusque, as she is with everyone.  I let her know again that I can always give her a ride, anytime.  She honest-to God, said no thank you.  I reiterated that I meant anytime in the future.  Gees.  Then I ran to the garage and detailed the car.

after leaving my sibling's house this morning, she did errands with an adult grandchild and is home now.  She liked my homemade cheese cake and the Christmas lights.  She removed her Christmas presents from me off the huge table and put them in a heap on a wide chair with some others.  We exchanged two minutes of communication.  She doesn't usually like in-person conversations, although she is a clinger on the phone.

I listen for gift clues all year.  I Christmas shop all year for fun or useful items with deep, deep discounts.  It is humbling but at the end of the year, it pays off.  Her gifts were all $2.75 or less each after tax, and they are beautiful and just what she needs.  A deco paring knife with an ergonomic handle, a matching deco chef's knife, 3 hard-bound blank square notepad books inside a beautiful tall, square box.  A thin knit pullover sweater with fluttering edged short sleeves and a little metallic thread.  A cheerful deco set of measuring cups.  A multi-colored measuring spoon set.  Some of the deco is an uplifting green, as she recently said she would like more green.  I know these gifts are small, but I am here out of hardship, and they are things she has said she needs.

She hates Christmas.  8 people will be here.  She still wants to buy gifts and is very stressed about it.  I presented a great idea for one gift, and told her about Amazon's wish lists, which her recipients use.  That cheered her up, but she won't capitalize on it.  If she were, she would have to start immediately to allow time for shipping.  It would motivate her if we had a printer so I could show her their lists.  Our library charges for prints.  I should write down her relatives' most realistic wishes, and give her a list.  There could still be time to do it.  Although, in the end she will stress out at the last minute.  After all, everything normal must be done the hard way.  Fun, easy, luxurious things must only be used for self-soothing, and with much guilt.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on December 18, 2018, 10:40:46 PM
That's great.  She's still quite cute and very wholesome, active, tidy.  Loves the earth, the environment, bridge, good movies and nature walks.  However, she can't stand guns though :(  !

Oh no, I didn't mean hook-up like that,, I meant be around each other and watch the sarcastic old man and the young in your face attitude argue it out about everything.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 19, 2018, 02:54:27 AM
Oh no, I didn't mean hook-up like that,, I meant be around each other and watch the sarcastic old man and the young in your face attitude argue it out about everything.
That's a great thought!  To give her a change, for sure!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 19, 2018, 03:16:59 AM
Today, according to GD, it is my fault the garage door opener has a sudden new, crackling short in it.  I had to be the one to cause it since I programmed a new (used) remote in October.

She doesn't want to call a repair technician.  I flipped the circuit breaker off for the night.  She won't like that.  She thinks the appliance is safe if she observes it after use, until its light goes off (and stops crackling, flashing, and shorting out other backlit buttons on the unit at the same time).

I'm scheduled to work both Saturday and Sunday short shifts so I won't be here to guard my cat if there is a fire.  There is no smoke alarm out there.  I pray she will go somewhere so I can haul the extra smoke alarm from the house out to the garage while she isn't looking.  It would make her mad.  My bedroom shares a wall with the garage.  I'll have to leave the cat at liberty then, while I work.  I'll wedge my bedroom door open hard and hide the baby gate so GD can't confine the cat in here.  Better the cat be free in the house.

I can't believe GD is willing to live with an active short, and keep the circuit on.  Earlier today, we had shut the circuit off.  She must have flipped it back.  I don't think I will garage the car anymore now.  If the car burned, I would never get what I paid for it just a few years ago.  It's old, but I've had a lot repaired plus it is low on miles (unless the sales rep rolled the thingy back, not sure).

For me and her insurance company, please pray she will re-think this safety issue.  She can afford repair.  I think the bulb might exceed the recommended wattage and could be burning the socket.  It's not the Genie recalled brand.  When it first was flashing off and on, it was a yellow light.  Half an hour later when GD was with me, the light was much whiter.  Not sure what that means.

I had meant to replace that light bulb for the last five months,.but I AM SO GLAD I DIDN'T.  The whole unit is a hazard.  The light bulb is not actually burned out all all.  It was shorting out.

It is odd the short is more active now.  We've had weird paranormal things this week, like things suddenly falling for no reason, and the kitchen waste basket flaps moved by themselves.  For about a week.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 19, 2018, 03:25:28 PM
She didn't like the breaker flipped off.  But it has to be, because today the electrical short started even when the appliance was off.  Whoo boy.

Which she totally does not understand.  Does not consider having the circuit open a hazard.  Wow.  I told her what a short is, that it could start a fire.  She just got mean and sarcastic.  Said I broke it, even though the light shorted before I moved in!  Crazy.  And left the fire door remaining cracked open on the way in. Geeeeez. Just wow.

It will be imperative to put a smoke alarm out there, and to have someone home to respond to it.  Actually accomplishing that is going to be very difficult.

I wish I could alert a condo neighbor that we have a garage short.  But no matter who I tell, she would kill me.  There is a business adjacent to us that looks down on our roof.  I could say "a" condo has a garage short and not specify which one, so as to increase vigilance.  How nice to come to work to a random crazy note.  But, fast response could save a pet's life.  Smoke inhalation sucks - both the pet and I have asthma.

I once lived next to a cat that suffered horribly in their apartment fire and had to have her ear amputated.  She adjusted well afterward, a miracle.  She had been young.

GD has not arranged any holiday presents for the people she told me she exchanges with.  Just plays computer games a lot.  I hand wrote their Amazon wish lists for her, as she was interested, but did not share them yet.  Some items so generic that she really could pick them up anywhere.  When she was out grocery shopping one day, I texted her a couple simple ideas for affordable generic-type gifts her favorite son wants.  She had told me her budget and had asked for help with this.  But now she stone-walls it all.  To the point that I am afraid to show her the lists.  She explodes at the slightest mention of anything.  She says she hates Christmas.  I can understand hating the commercial aspects, but gift giving doesn't have to feel commercial.

Catholic guilt must really be something strong.  Her husband could have divorced her early, on grounds of emotional abandonment.  But the church doesn't tell confirmees that historical fact, and most confirmees don't read the Bible.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 19, 2018, 03:28:42 PM
I want to get my car out of that garage.  I need it to not burn up by my work shift, or in case we have to evacuate.  How much nicer to evacuate with a vehicle, than to have to carry my cat and be at the mercy of others.

How to get the car out without her fighting about it.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 20, 2018, 12:45:51 AM
Mission accomplished.  What a day.  First, the last two days my body felt like someone beat it with hammers.  Then I wake up today feeling mostly pain-free, but the day turned out to be a doozy in its inbetween moments.  First, I found out the garage circuit is hot, not just the appliance.  Then, GD forbid flipping the breaker to prevent fire.  Then the asthmatic cat panicked in her break-away collar because of poor design and wimpy front legs.  Finally GD left for a quick errand, giving me five minutes to get my car permanently out of the hazardous garage, walk back, get on a ladder and examine the extra indoor smoke alarm on the ceiling.  It turned out to be hard-wired.  It sounded off when I was on the ladder with my ears right by it. Then my blood sugar got so low I was shaky.  One bad thing about dieting.  But I was no longer on the ladder and was able to overcome it quickly.  Then some nerve in my tongue went crazy, but hardly bled.  I guess my teeth nicked it, but I didn't feel any bite.  I iced it and it did not escalate (Oral swelling has been an issue).  That was the last straw.  I felt like I ran from lions all day, inbetween job search and talking to my current employer, of course.

I layed down to surrender.  The glucose and snack kicked in.  Whew.  I woke up hearing GD on the phone telling my brand new sister-in-law that GD suspects I am developmentally delayed.  (Just as she disparages the new sister-in-law behind her back to me, claiming the woman is a drunk and slob).  Woah, holy cow.  She has told some whoppers but this is a new one.  I also overheard she just started taking Xanax.  And that she is paranoid because she thinks I've been disparaging her to neighbors!  This just gets better and better.  I finally opened my door and said, "I just want you to know I can hear every word you are saying!"

She was surprised I was home.  Oopsie on her part.  Yeah, oopsie.  Busted.  She was horrified in a submissive way for once.  I asserted that I am not developmentally disabled, although when blood glucose is low hypoglycemics like me are prone to make mistakes until blood sugar is corrected.  That is a normal part of hypoglycemia and disappears as soon as the patient recovers, duh.  I can't believe she called me developmentally disabled.  Save it for another day.  I prepare and administer narcotics, for God's sake.  I explain court documents to people with intellectual disabilities.  I report changes in condition of behavioral health patients!  Working in behavioral health has even included unusual tasks like confiscating pistols and being part of a successful sting!  Oh well, so GD speaks ill of everyone.  This isn't personal.  But it is damaging.  To everyone, not just me.

She was horrified that I overheard her, but I said I was glad we cleared that up.  We also cleared up her paranoia about me disparaging her.  I explained exactly what I have said about her and to whom, and she saw that her fears were based on a misunderstanding.  But, honestly, her rages speak for themselves.  It would not take my word to make her look bad.

I remained nice to her even though she acted guilty and ashamed.  I know what shame cycles are; she doesn't.  And I am glad we cleared up my intelligence and her paranoid fears.  Better to have it out in the open.  A good excuse to connect with new sister-in-law on LinkedIn so she can see the flipping master's degree for herself.  So that's done. 

I scraped together what turned out to be the exact amount for a smoke alarm, went and got the last affordable one in the store (Have you ever noticed they are always out of the cheap smoke alarms!).  I returned just as Noory had started his show.  And just for that moment, I felt normal.  It felt really good.  George Noory sucks, but it is all relative.  I mean relatives!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 20, 2018, 10:49:42 AM
I'm glad the smoke and fire alarm and light is in the garage.  I put the battery in during the wee hours last night while she slept, while holding it between mattresses, which totally buffers the sound.  So I don't know how loud it is.  It barely squeaked, but I think that was because it was inbetween mattresses.  I just didn't want to wake her up! Next time she leaves, I'll go test it.

a close-up brindle pitbull was loose on the property as well as where I walk twice Tuesday, with Animal Control just missing it both times. Just a stressful week.  In Seattle around 2011 and 2016, two separate victims nearly died from random pitbull attacks.  The lady lost her face (Her fiance runs a website about it) and the man required 90 stitches in his NECK.  He would have died if the attack had not happened on hospital property, as nurses worked hard to immediately stopped his bleeding.  They told me they had never seen blood hitting walls like that.  I assume he lived and that it did not get infected, but I don't really know.  I had previously asked my supervisor for better dog policies, but she didn't care at all, even told people she thought I hated dogs, lol.  After the attack she let me go, eliminated my position, while she accepted a new position as Director in a brand new department called Risk Management.  I really miss that job, but from my LinkedIN views, no one is there anymore, just huge staffing turnover.  Turnover seems to be very common, as I look back on employers.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 21, 2018, 11:16:29 PM
I was gone from 9 to 4 for a job interview and to look for work using a real computer.  I barely had small snacks, and no real meal.  That's dangerous with my disease.  I got home cold, thirsty, tired and hungry. I limped from a blister.

I walked in with produce for a special occasion involving her.  She didn't want me to put the produce in the fridge because she wanted me to do things in a different order (I am certain she is secretly plagued by OCD).  She went on a tirade about it.  Then uncontrollable raging and unreasonable demands.  I understand what upset her and she had a point, but she was waging war over trivialities.  She as right that I communicated poorly at one point, but she knew my blood.sugar was low.  Everything I needed to do in about a 20 minute period got done fast, including changing my shoes, feeding my starving cat, eating, putting away produce, moving the car, and walking six condos back.  I even had time to re-bag the produce and GTFO. 

I re-bagged the produce as she stood with her arms folded, monitoring me like a cop.  I took it back to the grocery manager.  I explained there was fighting in the house, and that I couldn't use the kitchen. I asked if he would be able to hold the produce for me until Monday. He couldn't, but said he didn't mind if I returned it.

I'm sad because, in order to not be her doormat, I chose to forego making a vegetable platter that I was really looking forward to.  While I don't have much to give, food is the one thing I really can share up on special occasions, so I was looking forward to making a really nice vegetable platter with some roasted vegetables, too, like stuffed mushrooms. Colorful, with all textures.  Artichoke as well as the sweet red pepper tapenades were going to be dips.

Somehow my little individual Tangerine Talking Rain got lost in the shuffle.

I am sensing a huge pending holiday meltdown in GD which she will attempt to blame me for, so the less I'm in her kitchen, the better.

If it were just me and her, I would ice her all through Christmas.  She is Grinch, anyhow.  But there are other family members.  She WANTS to scapegoat me, to make me look like "the" problem in her life.  In order not to be scapegoated, I won't completely detach.  A fine line of giving her as little ammo as possible, but still being engaged.  Not very rewarding, no real intimacy.  But she doesn't know that.

Part of avoiding giving her ammo means not sharing anything with her, not items, not feelings, and not processes.  I don't even let her refill my coffee cup anymore, because the one time she did, she had a huge fit because I said "when".  Even though she herself says "when" all the time when I fill her cup!  It turned out she was angry that my saying "when" would have left dregs in the pot.  When will she admit she is plagued by OCD?  I have the argument on tape, which she consented to.

I wanted to explain I that I ration my creamer, but every time I start to respond, she always cuts me off.
When I moved here, my voice was normal, yet now it is always strained and hoarse.  Obviously, it is best to avoid her.

She drinks too much coffee, a whole pot a day.  Black.  She is too adrenalized, too aggressive.

My job nterview was horrid.  The interviewer wanted to see me with almost no lead time, admitting herself that it was pressured timing.  She said we should at least "meet", although getting hired would be a long shot because of the sheer number of qualified applicants interviewing.  I said fine, thinking at least I could  get in line for potential attrition hires next year.  I had unexpected really bad trouble with a foot, although I concealed it.  I was exactly a young five minutes late.  The interviewer was goofing off with a few employees.  Then, she saw me.  While I had accommodated her request for a very short notice interview, she was not accommodating.  Directly in front of an employee, she shamed me for being a few minutes late and cancelled the interview.  She didn't even introduce her name, or verify mine.  She said she would not waste her time on me.

Well, that is her perogative.  She got credit for interviewing me, since she had call a certain number of applicants in.  So, she did her duty and yet still got a free hour at work, on a Friday prior to a four day weekend.  I would not have liked working for her and the shift hours were bad, and I think she already knew who she planned to hire for this round, but it was nonetheless disappointing to have been late even on short notice, and to likely be excluded in the near future.  She did look very close to retirement, so there could be hope down the line.

I guess this balances out the time I sprained my foot and forgot about a job interview entirely but still got hired and stayed there ten years.  Win some, lose some.

When I accept pressured (last minute or inconvenient) appointments, it usually does not go well for me in the end.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 22, 2018, 03:36:31 PM
She is in the holiday spirit of shopping and cleaning.  I hope the cooking doesn't overwhelm her.

I did care giving today.  Not my preferred title, but work is work.  As usual, the other care givers have been selfish.  The client has a care giver every day of the week.  Yet the place was just shy of filthy.  I would hate to see these people's own homes.  We are not maids, but we are supposed to be proactive.  Grime should not build up.  We are not allowed to deep clean, and we shouldn't need to, if we clean as we go.  There just shouldn't be hardened gobs of food stuck to salt and pepper containers, nor filthy floors.

Anyhow, it was a paid work out.  At least there was a cat.  I like cats.  The cat is part of the written care plan, so its digs were very clean.  Lucky cat.  But the client's home should be clean, too.  Clients should not have to specify wiping, sweeping, laundering and tidying because that part of our service is already included.  I cleaned a lot, but had to refrain from obsessing too much, because it's better to leave some smudges and crumbs so the other care givers don't hate me for raising the bar too fast.

Someday we all may have care givers.  I hope oversight increases.  Not just quarterly or random checks, but bi-monthly inspections.  Families can't do it all, and some do 't want to because they had bad childhoods.  But, the client is paying for service and someone needs to ensure they are getting their money's worth.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 24, 2018, 01:03:48 AM
She nearly exploded after coming in the door.  The garage door is on the fritz, she lost a gift card and has no tissue paper for gift wrap.  And it was All.  My.  Fault.

On the bright side, my employer gave me a large differential for one of my shifts.  They upped my rate and called it "specialty service".  Wow.  THAT makes my day!  I remember the job.  I did my best.  The client was uncooprative.  Then I mistakenly left my purse behind there.  But I just did what I had to do and we t back.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 24, 2018, 03:28:25 PM
Tried all the blog sites.  Seeing ads for them.  Checked out the "Top Ten list".  With tablets, no luck.  When others build sites, do they average 5wpm, bec that was my experience.  Experts say cancer is anger turned inward.  So, getting out stuff  (but not growing it) might prevent cancer.  Aries live for expression, too.  An unhappy Aries doesn't survive very well; We were engineered for positive motion.

I have a friend who bares all on Facebook.  No hiding behind any avatar or anything.  For employers and all to view, gads.  I do love her and support her, but I am not the non-avatar type!

It was a miracle I got to the Woo!  The charger broke at the last minute bec I stepped on the junction of the extension cord and the little transformer thing.  I used to be so careful.  I've noticed that in coping with GD, I am going to have to remember to save enough of myself to keep my own standards of living up.  I've never stepped on cord junctions before.  There is no acceptable reason to be so derelict, especially at my current resource level.  There are other chargers, but I moved here fast, and they are buried in one of many little boxes somewhere or were sacrificed in the move, due to kack of space.  But I do have a spare in the bug-out bag.  But, unless it's an emergency, better to leave emergency provisions alone.  Personally, I don't think it is acceptable to be without a few spare charges on hand.  Maybe I can check some boxes.  Wouldn't hurt to inventory a few boxes better.

GD offered to go back for another move trip.  And the mean people were gone on vacation.  But it was a long distance move through some very urban driving area in the hottest season with no A/C so I  didn't want to push our luck.  Or leave the cat alone in new digs the first day there.  I'm okay with it.  The weather and roads went our way.  It was a good move.  Everything vital was transported.

She doesn't want me here.  I spend all my time in the spare room.  I found a way to tilt the wide blinds so that focused daylight streams in, and moved my work area to the window.  Really happy with the changes and added vitamin D.  She doesn't know the wall heater broke, bec I switched to a (very safe) portable.  She will blame me for the heater breaking.  "Everything was fine before you moved here.  Now everything is broken!"

It's not true of course.  When I arrived, I repaired her towel rack, shower curtain rod, wall plate, the smoke alarms, a ballast, her cast iron surface (per request), toilet paper holder, one wall heater, her bedroom door, all hinges including garage door (by request), her holey wash cloth, the food steamer, the toilet seat, slanted burner elements, loose appliance handles, moulding, photo frames, portable table, produce drawer, got a broom, mop, vacuum, and rake, and eliminated ants from three rooms.  And been Cinderella indoors and out.  If I don't, then things build up to unmanageability, which doesn't work for me since the car crash injuries.  Better to keep things up while the tasks are easy.  When things overflow onto the ground, or dust bunnies grow, that is hard on my back and the cat.

My cat has a very small little gerbil nose.  She forgets she can breathe through her mouth.  If she were younger, I would train her, but she is older and has already had asthma-like trauma, so training her to breathe through her nose during stress could be too scary for her.  Even when I just tidied up around her nostrils as needed once or twice in her lifetime, she just panicked even though there is a huge amount of trust.  I don't blame her.  Her features are exceedingly small, and she has always had occasional respiratory fluke things.  She's the second cat I've had that will just Hoover the rug if she is hungry, so I keep it clear of dust bunnies and especially pieces of plastic or wrap, bec it sticks to her little sniffer, and she has no claws.to right it off (Someone declawed her before she ended up at the shelter after wandering streets.  I think her Hoovering scavenging behavior is from those young months she was forced to scavenge for food on the streets when she was young.  She couldn't hunt, being declawed.  After I adopted her, my old male cats used to bring her mice!  It was so sweet how they competed to impress the new girl!  Those were glory days.   And sometimes her nose ends up in carpet when she takes a corner or has a small landing from what little furniture she is tall enough to jump on.  They say cats land on the feet, but not this one.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 26, 2018, 05:19:15 AM
The household made it through Christmas without another meltdown.  The taped tablet charger held up through the Wootacular.  The house cat got to show her stuff when visitors were here.  Somehow, I lost a day so I ended up under some last minute pressure.  Probably bec we don't have a calendar handy.  I've been afraid to put nail in any of GD's walls to hang a calendar, but I'm going to have to soon.  Scheduling mix-ups are not merry.

My Christmas experience was not warm or sentimental.  No hearth, no wreath, no baked sweets, no tchotchkes, no stocking, no cat presents, no "personal" presents, no photos.  I interfaced with 7 family members, yet no Christmas card was received from them.  My gifts were electronic.  I don't think my family meant to be cold.  I treated their gifts more personally, giving them little things they mentioned they wanted over the last year.  Today, I heard GD would like tv trays and those creepy re-usable soft vinyl food container covers, and Mother's Day is coming.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 26, 2018, 01:37:43 PM
The holidays were a big deal:  Service for six one night and service for four the next.  Afterward, while she decompressed at a double-matinee, I vaccumed, swept, mopped, polished the coffee table, and cleaned everyone's fingerprints/footprints(?!) off the glass table.  I also emptied the vacuum and recyclables, as I always do.  I cleaned my side of the fridge and cleared freezer space.  And, had fun boxing, wrapping and tagging the last gifts for her.  It was the least I could do, since she wore herself out cooking for long shifts two days in a row and would not accept much help.

After briefly asking if she opened her last gifts, our conversation dwindled.  I started to retreat to my room bec I could tell she was tense and unhappy.  She blames her unhappiness on me.  I forgot the Cardinal Rule of not accessing the little linen closet during "business hours".  As I put away three hand towels, she challenged me, "What are you doing in the linen closet?"   I explained I put away three clean hand towels.  That wasn't good enough for her.  She challenged again, "They weren't in the washing machine yesterday".  I explained they had been in a pile of clean laundry in my room, which I had folded last night.  She knew my room was a little backed up on chores because of a last-minute, time-consuming misunderstanding during preparations.  Sheesh.  I rarely access the linens.at all, keeping many of my own linens in my room.  But this week, after guests used towels, of course I washed some from my guest bathroom!

Her mood brightened after I showed her that I vacuumed the entire place last night, and polished the tables.

And cleaned my room.  Thank God.  Like the flight attendants say, my own "oxygen mask" does need to come first!

She has her home to herself from 6AM to 11AM or later most days.  Very long, quiet, solitary mornings, just like she loves.  And I keep it very clean and always detailed.  It has dawned on me that I probably could be enjoying this rent-paying Cinderella thing even for the least of men instead of her, and have more fun than doing it.  But, rather than go out and domestically exploit myself, I have remained reserved, loyal to my boyfriend, even though he and I have not been able to resolve some very important values clashes.  The most recent one starting with my quip "Don't bore me" and ending with my suggestion, "There are many other male professionals,  if yours does not seem effective."

Getting a little older, I am able to quickly identify immediate psycho-connections between individuals, their worser parent, and the life partner they choose.  Daughters of mamma's-boy marrying mamma's boys.  Daughters of alcoholics marrying alcoholics.  Mamma's boys marrying for attention/approval instead of love.  Daddy's girls marrying achievers they can manipulate.  Glad-handlers' daughters marrying attention-seeking men.

In my family, as far as dysfunctional family roles, I started out "The Hero" for decades.  That was great.  But after getting out on my own, their first-born son who had been "The Lost Child" primarily usurped "The Hero" role, as he stayed closer to home.  Family has been stubbornly trying shove me into a much worse role, for a very long time.  But I remember the lime light and am loathe to entirely give it up. 

I know my parents' shadow sides and won't marry those traits.  Both parents were disloyal, superficial, unavailable, judgmental, callous, unpleasant saboteurs.  Dad was unprotective, vindictive, manipulative, and a deceitful, household thief.  Mom was paranoid, depressed, and volatile myopic.  Those are a lot of traits to watch out for.

I need someone who maintains the following traits even under adversity:  Loyal, authentic, present, understanding, gentle, pleasant and supportive.  Protective, fair, straightforward, and honest.  Secure, hopeful, stable and broad-minded.  Sounds like a nurse.  Well, male nurses VERY sexy!  In years past, in my own mind, I considered my bf to be like a great nurse.  But, then bad behaviors surfaced for a long time.

...Disloyalty about alcoholism, callously mentioning other women's sexual attractiveness superficially right in front of me, & therefore basically becoming unavailable, by my standards.  He was vindictive a few times, regarding flirting with other women.  He sounded paranoid, asking me if I was an enemy (just bec I have needs?  What?).  He has sounded depressed.  I believe he has gotten myopic.  Lovely.  Little dysfunctional family patterns all over.

The thing is, in these cases, the problem is usually the dynamic, not the people.  For instance, my dad's second wife made quick work of some of my dad's lesser traits.  So, "he" was not the issue.  Behavior was the issue.  If I just had a magic wand.  I pray frequently for help in this area. 

Since she really wants me out of here, it would behoove her not to waste time on dramatic, dysfunctional family conflicts and spend more time actually telling people I am seeking work, referring me to house clean friends' homes meanwhile, sending me job referrals (She sees them), complimenting me on LinkedIn for skills she is aware of, like conversational Spanish.  And not hogging the kitchen sprawled all over the galley countertop in front of the normal utensil drawer and microwave, on a stool with a blanket over her, and her bare feet on an open drawer foot rest WHEN I AM QUICKLY EATING BREAKFAST, SACKING A LUNCH, FEEDING THE CAT AND GETTING OUT THE DOOR TO WORK OR AN INTERVIEW AFTER SHE HAS HAD THE WHOLE HOUSE TO HERSELF ALL MORNING LONG!  I prep as much as possible at night so  meals are only a matter of rehapeating, yet nonetheless she is a huge hindrance.  Sometimes she packs up and makes way; other times she doesn't.  Sink and drainer full of dishes, pots and pans in the fridge instead of serveware. Often, she decides to cook after hours alone, exactly at the time she knows I'll need a burner!  Unbelievable.  "Beyond Belief".
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 26, 2018, 01:40:09 PM
Would have made a good copy editor.  But that never happened.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 28, 2018, 12:20:35 AM
I've been working.  Not enough, but my shifts are growing.  I received a bonus for good work.  Anyhow, GD was on the phone yesterday morning bemoaning to a lady friend that I don't work.  (Not sure how she thinks I pay my rent, but whatev.)

Well, I could not believe my ears.  The timing was perfect!  I walked over to her and said plenty loud enough, "Bye, I am going to work.  I'll see you after my shift.  I felt really grateful for the timing,and I heard her eat crow to her friend on the phone.  A little triumph over slander.

I don't know why she slanders me.  Depending on her mood over the years, she has spread numerous vastly different false stories about me.  I don't know why she makes up lies bec the real stories are just as interesting (alcoholism, lesbianism, living in a flood zone, being down-sized, etc...) One would think she would talk my skills up, or at least spread the word among her friends that I am available for house cleaning.  But no, she would rather make me sound bad.  But it is her own world she screws when she does that, bec the fastest way out of here would be via a great word-of-mouth job.

That was Wednesday morning.  Wednesday night, I came home.  At the time, I didn't know she had been drinking hard liquor.  She was belligerent, blaming me bec our garage door goes up when the neighbor leaves.  "It has to be" my fault bec it never happened before I moved in.  But she doesn't want me to re-program it bec she thinks I screwed it up once already!  Absurd.  I've considered re-programming it on the sly, but the machine has had a recent electrical short in it and I refuse to touch the main unit, even with a broomstick.  Maybe the neighbor will re-program his.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 28, 2018, 01:01:44 AM
This is the best thread ever! You're just a babbling brook of God knows what. I actually broke my mouse wheel scrolling down one of your latest.. I wish this thread was a sticky. Serious as a heart attack, I do.  I love you!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 28, 2018, 10:19:07 AM
This is the best thread ever! You're just a babbling brook of God knows what. I actually broke my mouse wheel scrolling down one of your latest.. I wish this thread was a sticky. Serious as a heart attack, I do.  I love you!
I'm sure your, uh, "mouse wheel" has seen sprains before! 

Found a spare charger, yay!

Blog sites might work with my new device.  At some point.  Things move pretty slowly here, except for an occasional fast flash.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 29, 2018, 12:21:55 AM
The quantity, quality and all out availability from food banks and churches vary. The one near me took days to finally get an appointment. I had made a meal from some of the assortment and dutifully figured the mixed vegetables from a can (generic and probably expired) would have nutrition, right? Well something wasn't right because I yakked up the entire meal afterwards. I can still taste the can in my mind to this day. Some of the offerings were terrible enough that you are lucky enough to get the basic caloric input and keep it in.

*On the intestine, I had a coworker that had this same issue. She came down with severe abdominal pain to the point she was sweating. Same operation and so forth. She was about 30 at the time, ate health food, was well groomed and so forth. I don't recall that she even drank. So its not necessarily neglect. So some kind of disease or malformity.
Food banks are awkward places, because they are ran by volunteers who are biased.  If they like you, they go easy on you.  If they don't like your age, build, gender, clothes, race, etc... they impose limits on you that others don't have to follow.  Or, a sign might say you can take 5 potatoes, but if you come at a time when the person responsible for refilling the potatoes doesn't feel like doing it, then that person will say you can only have three.  Bias, subjectivity, and sometimes even graft are food bank problems.  They are not on camera. I drove away from one food bank bec men working there were from some other country and I felt like they were treating me funny as a woman, while they directed me to parking, so I just left.  But if a food bank recipient behaves humbly, helpfully, gratefully and cheerfully, they will usually be treated very well bec volunteers really do like to help people and they see a lot of grumpy people.  A friend in need should be charming indeed!

Each place is ran so differently with different registration/re-ups and different rules/procedures.  In King County, one must only attend one chosen food bank (although you can change your mind).  In other counties, one can hop around (but you get less at a time in those counties).  And as is the case with many volunteer-ran organizations, what they say versus what they do are two different things.  And, one hand does not always know what the other is doing.

One time, in one visit, I received enough frozen, cooked and shredded salmon to last a year.  It had been touched by the USDA because they sampled salmon before it was distributed.  And they donated those touched samples to a church food bank.  Of course I thoroughly cooked it.  I just got lucky that time; never saw anything like that again.  That was a food bank where a pig farmer came to collect food that was no longer fit for human consumption.

Another time, a food bank told me they just got donations of pizza.  After carrying those boxes up a lot of stairs, I found someone had eaten every single top off.  Disgusting.

Sometimes I am disallowed baby food (soft food helped during tooth aches), but recently I was given a huge box of baby food in jars which was not expired.  Comes in handy as portable, nutritious lunch food or "sauce" to stretch a meal like spaghetti, kind of like adding a non-detectable vegetable to it too.

And food banks sometimes try to understand the gluten free thing, and I'm not complaining, but they really don't get it with respect to wheat starch on cereal, modified food starch in soup, etc...  Also, since I can't eat bread, crackers or noodles, I once took extra rice (with permission).  But behind my back the food bank staff removed it from my cart!  One hand did not know what the other was doing.

And, where I have been, the recipient is expected to carry very large, heavy boxes or push a cart with a month's worth of food staples in it over gravel.  Most normal people do not carry all their groceries for the month at once!  Just standing that long can put my leg on fire!  It is overwhelming and nearly impossible.  But, that is what food bank clients often do, which is ironic, bec many are elderly or physically disabled.

Also, the food can come in industrial size quantities.  Not everyone who rents small spaces knows what to do with twenty pounds of frozen potato shreds or a whole, huge chicken or salmon.  I like to portionalize those things before freezing them again, bec I know I am never going to pull a 20lb anything out to cook!  So, that involves thawing, possibly cooking them and then re-packaging them.

To make the food last, there are home economics here:  I clear the fridge out before going, and come home and immediately process all perishable food.  (The non-perishables can wait in the car until tomorrow).  The first step is to put meat and dairy in the fridge and freezer, portionalizing it if desired.  Then clean the produce and cut off any parts that are just starting to get soft or go bad.  Those bits and pieces are put in a delicious bowl and become my lunch, along with anything irresistible like avocado, deli salads, cooked meat, etc...  After the parts which need to be eaten right away are cut off, then I start a frying pan and cook several of the fresh vegetables in order to "reduce them down" so that they don't take up so much space in the shared fridge or freezer.  If you have produce that makes you confident (like bell peppers, celery, zucchini, broccoli,.etc...) just put a frying pan on with a little oil, garlic, onion, salt and pepper and keep adding to it.  Stalks take longer to cook, while leafs and florets go on top of the fried ones, as the steam from below them will be enough to cook them.  After being cooked, a lot of food loses more than half its size.  Some of the cooked vegetables can be frozen in containers or baggies.  Masking tape and a marker label if needed.  Using a blender or juicing is also an option.  If juice was donated, then after half is drank, you can pour in your blender mix to stretch the juice further.  Consolidating food also saves space, since your month's worth all arrived at one time.  For example, if they gave you fresh marinara sauce and you already have half of a Pizza Squeeze in the fridge, you can ask yourself if you also have the cheese, crust or corn tortillas, and toppings to make pizza within a few days.  If the answer is yes, then you can pour the new fresh marinara into the empty part of the Pizza Squeeze, shake it, and no space is lost at all (but remember to make pizza soon because once you add fresh ingredients, the package will not have the right balance of preservatives in it, so it should be eaten within a few days.). If the answer is no, you don't have ingredients for pizza, then I would keep the marinara separate and just find space for it either in the fridge or freezer.

Remember, tomato sauce products and citrus fruits are excellent alpha-hydroxy skin tonics.  papaya and pineapple are food enzymes.  Ice cream can be used as creamer. Milk, buttermilk, salt and baking soda are skin baths.  Egg yolk will make your hair shine!  So will the yucky parts of an avocado!  Vinegar is a hand lotion.  And vinegar kills e-coli as a dilutable produce rinse or household spray.  Prunes, pumpkin and soaked raisens/craisens are Docusec.  An overripe banana with water can cure constipation.  A tiny bit of corn oil might make your shoes gleam.  Butter reduces bruises.  Cats can eat baby food meat.  Baking soda is tooth paste.  Calcium can be leached from bones by prolonged high heat in water which becomes soup base.  Cucumber feels great on eye lids.  Food that has started to age can be re-seared to stop the aging for a couple more days.  Fruits and salads that look half dead or are starting to wilt brighten back up if left in the sunshine for a while.  If you didn't get enough protein, there is such a thing as a peanut butter latte!  Corn meal can become polenta, which can be refrigerated and sliced, a softer alternative to pasta.

Eat berries and bananas first because they won't last.  Accept the cabbage and acorn squash - it will still be there edible at the end of the month.  Roast the seeds; they are good for reproductive health, in moderation.  Don't eat too many seeds (or mushrooms) bec they are only meant to be eaten a little at a time and can make you sick.  Accept the huge, crazy looking turnip bec it will last forever raw, and is easy to boil, and then cut up and add to soup!  Accept the crappy jelly, because it lasts forever so when you end up with plain yogurt, you can add jelly (that is pretty much what is in flavored yogurt anyhow).  the same with smashed bakery items - you can make a yogurt parfait out of them.  A can of pumpkin also works wonders in a container of plain yogurt.  Deli meat, Spam, and salty meat can be soaked 20-30 minutes to remove the sodium, but if soaked too long, you 'll have to re-season them by cooking with seasonings.  If you take extra bread, you can make croutons, which last months.  Syrup can later be mixed with Borax to bait and kill ants.

I have teared up at some food banks, bec they don't give enough.  But others have spoiled me horribly!  As long as one can get around, it's best just to accept an attitude of "Win some; lose some" and keep shopping around.  It bothers me at religious food banks when staff warns against abortion while failing to admit that rich folks on fertility treatments end up committing abortion too, in the form of snowflake embryos.  I just feel like if they are going to lecture poor people against abortion, then the flip side of the same coin should likewise be addressed.  But it never is. I also don't like it when religious food banks allow their religious rules to be entirely bent just bec volunteers are helping.  For example, one church has a rule that women shall not preach over males, except male children.  Yet, in the required religious service for food, women do the preaching bec no men volunteer.  This, by their own rules, puts male food recipients on par with children, a real disrespect by the church's own standards.

@Dyna-X Yes, it doesn't take long to become understandably suspicious of food bank food! Until there is more oversight, recipients definitely want to double check expiration dates, "listen for the hissin'", rinse ad nauseum, and boil canned food at least two minutes.  I like to rinse some canned foods several times, removing the sodium, sometimes even with a little vinegar.  Not sure what it is about those mixed vegetables!  If the food still smells iron-y, I put it in a bowl in a sunbeam and let it air out.  if that doesn't help, I discard it.  Rust (and the blood from meat) are not food groups and will make people sick to their stomachs.  Also, like many people, I've learned to fry deli items to.reduce the chances of listeria (hit dogs, potato salad, etc...) just in case the food bank had them out of refrigeration too long.

Don't jump on me for saying this, but I think everyone who qualifies should go to a food bank a couple times every few years.  Because you will be introduced to foods and manufacturing innovations you have never tried, and they often turn out to be new favorites!  I know that sounds weird, and at the moment I can't think of any examples, but time and again, my taste in local food has expanded bec of a new food bank food experience.  Many food banks now offer a few pieces of gently used work clothing, a couple toiletries and sometimes pet food (especially if you ask) as well.  But don't be fooled when they advertise holiday food baskets!  Those are not really baskets, and it is pretty much like any other trip (although it may be a surplus trip!) to the food bank, with maybe turkey added.

One time around 2014, I had to go to the food bank for so long that seasons passed.  It was not a fun time, obviously. For some reason I can't remember, I didn't qualify for food stamps.  Anyhow, life moved on, a new season came, and I re-qualified for food stamps.  They posted to my plastic card, and I headed to the local grocery store.  I got a cart and walked through the automatic doors.  When I got inside and saw the unfamiliar hoards of food, I felt a little overwhelmed.  Honestly, for a minute, I couldn't remember how it worked.  Was I only allowed three items from the first table?  Could I choose whatever I wanted?  I was momentarily disoriented.  When I realized how silly and reduced my mentality had become, I felt very sorry for myself and upset at how poverty had maladjusted me momentarily.  Then I recovered and shopping has been lovely ever since!

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 29, 2018, 01:45:47 AM
Typical day.  In the same house all day, yet less than a paragraph spoken, and no more than two sentences on any one topic, mostly scheduling.  Can you imagine?  Not saying good morning to someone in the same kitchen?

Things I'll never hear: 
You are such a dear.
Help yourself to the leftover holiday food.
Did you have a nice day?
I e-mailed you a job lead.
I recommended your conversational Spanish on LinkedIn.
Would you reach the top shelf for me?
How DO you get by with hardly any income since October?!


Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 29, 2018, 10:50:54 PM
If things went real bad one day and she came at you, could you defend yourself?  Did you two even exchange any Christmas pleasantries?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 30, 2018, 12:12:40 AM
If things went real bad one day and she came at you, could you defend yourself?  Did you two even exchange any Christmas pleasantries?
Yes. When she went at my door, no problem.  She doesn't exercise and is shorter.

As for Christmas, I did wish her merry that morning, and she returned it.  Thanks for asking.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 30, 2018, 12:14:24 AM
Doc Martin Binge Marathon night!  Who else did it?  From no tv historically, to the Doc Marten show, wow.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on December 30, 2018, 11:53:23 PM
GD is being very solicitous, like "Thank you" for this and "Thank you for that".  Naturally, that makes me suspicious.  Something's up.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on December 31, 2018, 12:07:38 AM
GD is being very solicitous, like "Thank you" for this and "Thank you for that".  Naturally, that makes me suspicious.  Something's up.
Any strange banjo music being heard around the house? Yet you can't locate the source...….. ???
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 02, 2019, 02:04:27 AM
Any strange banjo music being heard around the house? Yet you can't locate the source...….. ???
No, but a couple weeks ago hinges and stuff moved without provocation for a couple days, and a dead light bulb came to life (or its circuit) for a couple days.

She stopped being solicitous and is back to her normal, not-so-friendly self.  Maybe she just had a good day, that one day.

What would banjos indicate?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on January 02, 2019, 05:08:52 PM

What would banjos indicate?
I'm not exactly sure but whenever banjo music plays in movies somebody eventually gets stabbed, shot, or even sodomized :o :o :o :-[ 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: albrecht on January 02, 2019, 05:17:27 PM
I'm not exactly sure but whenever banjo music plays in movies somebody eventually gets stabbed, shot, or even sodomized :o :o :o :-[

Banjos, despite the fact I like bluegrass music, tend to be associated with the above mentioned events. And I could see be heard in an odd living situation in which a term "living with grandma's daughter" is used instead of "aunt" (wouldn't that be the case) or the formerly odd boarding houses in which candles, crazed residents, and food choices are a concern. Talk about from the pot to the fire, though I think the situation seems to be better now?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 02, 2019, 07:47:58 PM
I'm not exactly sure but whenever banjo music plays in movies somebody eventually gets stabbed, shot, or even sodomized :o :o :o :-[
How can I un-see this.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on January 02, 2019, 08:11:37 PM
How can I un-see this.
Well, the irony is that you can only "un-see" that by getting stabbed, shot, or... :o :o :o :o :o  It's a cruel world. If they get rid of banjos all these horrible deaths and sore bums will go away. Blame the banjo
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 02, 2019, 08:51:50 PM
Banjos, despite the fact I like bluegrass music, tend to be associated with the above mentioned events. And I could see be heard in an odd living situation in which a term "living with grandma's daughter" is used instead of "aunt" (wouldn't that be the case) or the formerly odd boarding houses in which candles, crazed residents, and food choices are a concern. Talk about from the pot to the fire, though I think the situation seems to be better now?
She is my bio-mom, one with whom five years at a time could go by barely speaking.  Being a displaced worker since 2008 has not been fun, but I delayed coming home as long as possible, hoping to avoid it entirely.  I don't know what act of God got her to finally consent as well, but I'm grateful.  Never before has unemployment ran out, and rent just keeps going up, at triple the speed that income goes up.  I just had no choice. GD is NOT a lot safer person than those people at the party house AND she wields more power.  But, she is just *one* person so yes, if you don't count deep psychological abuse, it is a much better situation.  I have relatives here back in the hometown I left in 1990, so GD is able to disperse her energy among us.

The situation on the surface looks a lot better here, and surely it must be.  But Grandma damaged GD so badly.  GD is fine usually in social company, but there is no intimacy in the family household.  Days go by with nary a word spoken.  I just found out today she had a crisis Saturday.  GD has been known to get violent, too.  She averages one raging meltdown per week, so loud the neighbors can hear, or doors are newly worked off a hinge.  She just started Xanax, so gratefully things de-escalate a lot faster.  I have started staying in my room to reduce her agitation.  She is a slanderer.  I'm never going to get a decent job through her word of mouth (and neither will any of her children).  It is extremely difficult doing a decent job search living with dv, but at least she is just one person.  I need to be more direct mindful of telling her I am recording when she escalates.  I am working, but hardly and it pays so low. 

Although I am Cinderella and Mr. Handy, and my footprint here is exceedly small, she is one of those people who is rarely satisfied.  Yet, she requires a lot.  I started to lose my own ways/happiness, was feeling very blue even though the environment here is nice.  So, I am in the process of internally re-engineering things to suit myself.  Things like re-positioning the cat area so kitty can actually see out windows, to all the birds.  Like borrowing her office chair (which is fine) when she is sleeping or gone.  Like making sure I get outside a little bit every day, no matter how much housework needs to be done.  Like re-positioning my room work area to be near the window, with the blinds tilted down to cast light on me.  Like adding an extra length to the cat leash, since kitty doesn't have a fenced area here.  Like scheming to pilfer some bird seed from GD, to put outside my own window for once (for kitty).  Like making sure I sit when GD talks (she tends to be uncivil) and not to let her keep me standing so long my leg hurts.  All these wonderful little ways of taking back my own focus, without affecting her much.

I just wish she would wash her hands.  She doesn't believe in regular health dept procedures, and her hands smell like little boy dirt, if you've ever smelled that.  I don't mind a little, but it is all the time, every knob or drawer edge she touches.  At first, I just cleaned more.  But, it is impossible to keep up with dirty hands, especially since I can't very well wash her keys.  Then I started washing my own hands more, but that damages nails and cuticles to the point of injury.  Then I tried "washing" my hands with lotion.  And avoiding touching surfaces unless I have to, or using a towel or the hem of my skirt.  Now I do all of the above, and when she is not home, I am going to use a glove or the bag the newspaper comes in.  I am interviewing for jobs, and at times, I have smelled that dirty smell transfer into my car steering wheel and onto my purse straps.  If I can smell it, they probably do, too.  So, I really am coping with that.  It was the same at the party house, but there, at least I could eat in my room.  Here, that is highly discouraged, so I do have to touch cupboards and the fridge handle, having no "pantry" in my room.  I'm not complaining, just wish I could give her a clue!  She is not a slob at all; she just doesn't hand wash or follow health dept guidelines.  And a few other little things.  Just at home.  She seems fine when socializing.

I'm really enthusiastic about today's new ideas of using the newspaper bags as gloves when opening blinds, etc..., and putting bird food outside my window.  Although no one likes meltdowns, kitty is much happier here for a variety of reasons mostly involving liberty and space.

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Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 04, 2019, 07:26:08 AM
Well, I learned why she was so cheerful last week.  I asked her, and she said she was really glad Christmas is over.  It affected her that much. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 07, 2019, 06:06:42 PM
Rant: I did physical work all day at work as usual.  She's knows what time I come home.  I ran one errand.  I got home, and her car was blocking my parking space, her body was blocking the kitchen and counters, microwave, flatware, sink.  And she wanted my undivided attention preferably while standing on my sore feet (but I refused) about items she found in the garage while sorting.

Didn't ask how my day was, where I parked, didn't offer me a snack or dinner (or space to prepare it), no hospitality, no music.  She doesn't take care of herself; why would I expert her to be nice to me?!  Just a blaring computer newscast on the counter.  And her, making a large salad without washing her hands first.

In her bare feet on a hard floor.  After having horrible foot pain the last two days, so bad that it was a household upheaval.  She probably stood on concrete in the garage, sorting again today.  There are folding chairs right there, but she'd rather get in line for foot surgery.

It is so hard to believe I grew up with this level of obliviousness.  I'm sure she doesn't wake up and say, "I am going to be indifferent and insensitive to myself and others today". 

At some point, I asked if I could get a spoon out from under her cutting board where she was all sprawled out.  My secret spare spoons were used up.  She said yes, and asked if it was to feed the cat.  A reasonable question, really.  But I held my tongue, tempted to just unload all of the above on her.  I took a deep breath, and replied I was planning to use the spoon for a snack (It was 5PM after a workday).  I knew I had given the cat strategic extra food today, and had cat snacks in my room.  Cat wasn't hungry.

I went to my room and put on something a little fresher, whew!  How did Dad ever endure for 18 years?!  I don't mind looking at items from the garage, but mood check first and let me take a pit stop and rest first!  I wonder if a better person than I could assert themself better (about parking hogging, kitchen hogging, immediate demandingness, etc...) to her without it resulting in WWIII.  I did insist on sitting down, and was not able to view all the show-and-tell items.

I wonder if she is what they call manic.  The other night, she moved furniture which did not need moving after all, by herself.  It all had to be put back.  Then she wanted to sleep in the living room, and put sheets on the couch after pulling it out.  Then she had relatives help her sort in the garage.  My job was to vacuum.  Anyhow, it turned out that she could have done the sorting herself.  So basically she held four people hostage (one of whom works long hours) on their feet on concrete at night after work and they bought her pizza.  Bizarre.  She doesn't converse; she holds court.  And all those sarcastic sitcoms and pressured newscasters she watches don't help.  She isn't friendly to begin with, then pulls a Sheldon, then acts like NPR, "Now, talk about this or that".  Just bizarre.  I am not a sound byte. 

I would like to put my car in its spot tonight, and she opened up the spot.  But, then I'll probably face the third degree.  I'll just say the spot hadn't been available and now it is.  She'll deny any wrong doing.  Whatever.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 07, 2019, 06:13:17 PM
Rave:  I got to meet a very shy cat at work that has been hiding!  She looks great.  Everyone is worried because she stopped eating after vomiting, but she was radiant and it was fantastic to meet her.

Also got a big compliment on a salad I made.  90-year old lady reaches out, grabs my forearm like she's going to do karate to me, tried to crush my arm and said, "Thank you for the salad!"  Almost made me cry.  From pride, not her crushing grip.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 08, 2019, 08:11:48 PM
You got to love those old people, the ones who don't think that the world owes them everything because they are old
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 08, 2019, 11:48:06 PM
You got to love those old people, the ones who don't think that the world owes them everything because they are old
For sure.  Their parents survived the Depression.  They are, like, survivors of the survivors of the Depression.  So, we wash and save eggshells, and compost coffee grounds.  Every day.

Speaking of the old days, tonight George Noory said, "I am not a booster of (whatever)" ?  Reminds me of 1974 and our school's "Booster Club" and Denny's booster seats for toddlers!  Quaint!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 10, 2019, 07:40:49 PM
It has been a real balance of not giving her any ammo, yet disclosing enough so that she gains confidence in me.  I must have found the balance of how much to say to her, because there have been several victories lately.  I got a reluctant "thank you" out of her, an accusation was swiftly shot down, and I was vindicated after another false accusation.  She also got a glimpse of how I accommodate her, which she hadn't known previously.  Hearing her response was really great.  I don't need her approval necessarily, but we do need to get along!  Pretty big baby steps are happening.  And, she has asked for help a couple times - thaaaaat's new.  Maybe she's in covert counseling or something.

Today she asked me to organize her spices which are on racks on the back of a door.  I love doing stuff like that.  I had really cute labels and supplies, & it went fast and easy.  I decided to use topical categories of:
1. Overstock, rose petals and containers (up high)
2. Savory spices which cook inside food (like mustard)
3. Savory spices which are sprinkled on food (like dill)
4  Sweet stuff (like cinnamon)
5. Unconventional spices (like cumin)
6. Large containers and Tea

It was so much fun.  It started out a big mess, so I am surprised at how few categories were actually needed, how little consolidation was needed, and how quickly the organizing went.   I labeled/decorated with a natural fiber look which came out nice & she will like.

Nice to do something fun.  I also fashioned a bird feeder outside my window, and filled it.  Can't wait to see if birds come.  I hope they see it.  I hope my cat sees them! 

It's been almost 6 months here.  GD has only been seen in public once with me.  Ice Hotel, here.  I almost thought Ariel Castro was a warmer person, but that can't be right.

Hours are picking up, for now.  She'll be glad about that.  I can't count on GD to feed the cat, but a couple days ago, she asked me how to put cat's harness on and showed an interest in feeding her more.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 16, 2019, 01:59:13 AM
I showed up at work, at my patient's home.  The client is in hospice, meaning people expect her to die (but she could recover).  We are helping someone die, so a certain demeanor is required.

Anyhow, a new co-worker showed up.  Not sure how she passed the background check.  She plopped a couple large flour tortillas directly on the client's range burners and hand turned them until they were a little blackened.  And so were the burners.  And so was the air!  And that was just her intro.

Her car was totally blocking the driveway because of a bad parking job.  She commented that she had no time to make lunch, so she just pulled stuff out of her refrigerator.  I guess we've all been there, but in hospice I don't think unpreparedness is a bragging point.

When I arrived, she had tranquilized the patient for being restless.  I'm concerned the patient has no ambulation plan.  Of course she was restless.  And the tranquilizer side effects were not mitigated by additional medicine so the patient drooled, smacked her tongue and lips uncontrollably and had a zombie expression for two hours.  The patient was strapped into her wheelchair (controversial to say the least) because she kept sliding forward out of it, probably because the wheelchair lacks leg rests. 

The coworker was painting her long nails blood red at the client's kitchen table.  The client was sitting right there, as the coworker talked about gangster (seriously) boyfriend and her beliefs on late-life pre-marital sex.  She evaluated some of the men she has recently dated.  She took numerous smoke breaks.

She talked baby talk to the patient right up an inch from the patient's face like you might coo at a baby.  She recorded that the patient refused her antibiotic, but she had not actually offered the antibiotic.

Medicine was required by the service plan, but she wanted to call the company to ask if she should give it.  I guess hospice can be confusing, because many prescriptions are stopped.  This particular hospice was not well-documented by the higher-ups and the had been administrative conflict regarding some of it.

I was appalled in general, but it was a real mixed bag because she did a great job with several things, like making a sweet drink for the patient (who refuses to eat).  She got a self-starving woman to drink over 100 calories!  She was good at communicating with the patient about urination, trying to time bathroom trips well before bed. She was very physically able to help.  She was protective when the next shift handled the patient awkwardly.  She found a way to measure millilitres without any measuring cup at all, re-using a rinsed syringe.  She was informative to me and worked very hard and long.  So, she had lots of redeeming qualities.

I think I'll order leg rests, a measuring cup, side effect medicine and an ambulation plan.  But I don't know what to make of tortillas on raw burners, inappropriate conversation, baby talk, gang association, and blood red nail polish at the table.

I've had a lot of jobs, type of work and shifts.  This shift was one of the weirdest.  In the top ten for sure, maybe top five.

Hospice is often defined in certain unpleasant terms.  There is a mainstream hospice paradigm which I don't think is best, if for no other reason than it is so starkly administered that common sense is forgotten.  When I got home, I Googled HOMEOPATHIC HOSPICE and learned a lot.  I also learned that drooling and weird facial looks and movements were fixable side effects of the tranquilizer.  It was great to hear those symptoms can be avoided (by using ambulation instead of tranquilizers) and also fixed with additional medicine.

https://www.homeopathycenter.org/homeopathy-today/novemberdecember-2007/compassionate-care-end-life 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 16, 2019, 02:05:41 AM
GD is winding up. I always suspected depression, but now I wonder about manic-depression.  It's not that anything is inappropriate; it is just that she is doing it all at once!  Sudden shopping, socializing, gathering, sudden agitated phone calls, home improvements, family games, doctor appointments and sweeping decisions!  All in 3 days.

I will duck and cover when it all crashes again.  Crashing may mean not heating, sleeping all day, being aggressive...
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 17, 2019, 10:37:31 AM
Still winding up.  Long, loud phone calls while people sleep.  Broken commitments.  Long days, big nights.  Waiting for the shoe to drop.

And, today is one of her bill-paying days today.  I'm not perfect either, but bill paying here is drama-ridden, and was for dad too when he was alive.  She requires the entire home to herself and has sent me packing on more than one bill-paying day.  Bizarre.  I don't know why she requires a whole house to pay bills.  She has a huge master bedroom with a huge table and chairs in it if she needs privacy.  It's not about privacy.  She just can't handle bill-paying.

I told her one idea is to read the bill when it comes in, put a stamp on the envelope or whatever, put the coupon in, and set it in a pile for payday.  Easy-peasy.  That way, if there are any discrepancies or problems, she has time to handle them as they come in, one phone call here, one phone call there.  A little frustration here and there, cleared up on the phone.  But, she has been trying to do a month's worth all in one or two days.  It looks like her bill paying habits are changing a little, she is accessing them more often.   But, I don't think she's getting the endorphin thing right.  You have to have a GOOD pile, a pile that is clarified, accurate, prepared and ready-to-pay on payday. 



Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Belles on January 18, 2019, 12:19:56 AM
I heat flour tortillas on the stove burner.  I know several people who do.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 19, 2019, 11:53:23 PM
I heat flour tortillas on the stove burner.  I know several people who do.
Ok, thanks for the reality check.  I suppose a tiny bit could stick to the burner element from time to time.  Turning to char eventually.  And, crumbs would drop down.  You know, they should make a toaster for tortillas.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 19, 2019, 11:55:34 PM
Good news.  Power bill only went up a few dollars since I've been here.  That's amazing.  I think this proves electric blankets are economical.

GD was distraught earlier, mistakenly thinking the power bill had doubled.  But, it turns out it is the same as this time last year.  It only looked double because the power company had not credited her last payment.  Good news overall!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 20, 2019, 06:15:56 PM
Knowing it could make me homeless and separate me from my longtime 19-year old cat, GD sat me down for a conversation about her plans to sell.  I just walked in from a long workday.  Nevermind I disclosed I am coping with mild oral angioedema .  No, those things are not important.  Nevermind the the first part is a matter of decency and the latter part is potentially fatal.

She actually sat for the conversation.  In a chair.  She, who rarely sits, preferring to stand barefoot indoors and outdoors, for hours, on hard surfaces including concrete and pavement... just after nearly being talked into foot surgery last week from foot strain.

She sat in a chair near me.  This conversation was not the usual shouting (sigh) from room to room over her Internet or TV.  This "conversation" must be important .  OKeeee.

Well, she began.  She owes X on the mortgage, is applying for a loan of X amount, and is going to sell the place for X.  Why is she telling me all this?  I am penniless and at her mercy. Reminds me of the times as a child when she asked me for advice on marriage and friendship!

I waited for the windup in her talk.  Just maybe, my longtime, elderly cat and I might be included in the plans.  She talked about what kind of dwelling, homes it might resemble, and how it has to be such and such.  She said she would like to buy a home large enough to rent out one level (getting my hopes up).  We discussed deadbolt doors and kitchenettes.  I waited, still there was a possibility I could be factored into this.  After all, I pay rent, do most of all the trouble shooting and manageable maintenance, provide supplies that aren't convenient for her to buy, provide security, and I do the housework.  Windows and all.

It turns out that the vacant half acre behind her in the mall parking area has a bidder, so construction might start soon.  Private planning meetings are happening. She doesn't need the money, but wants to sell her home before buyers realize they will have a new building going up adjacent to this lot behing a fence.  That's kind of deceptive and in light of the deception, a little greedy.  Like the time a realtor lied to me about potential flooding.  I'm pretty sure imminent new construction would be outlined in the paperwork, though.  The only way she could hide the pending construction is to do dual agency cahoots with the realtor.  Not sure how she will swing that.  I don't approve of dual agency realtors.  No one can truly represent opposing sets of interest properly.  Anyhow, no other realtor is going to fail to assess adjacent properties.  But I kept my opinions quiet. 

I don't see how anything I say could influence her not to sell.  But giving my opinions definitely could influence her to dig her heels in to sell, and make her even more devious to potential buyers.  So I refrained.  Even if a buyer does not find out about new construction, she is very worked up because the current bidder wants to build a 40 foot high franchise hotel, and she is agonising about potential noise from ventilation units on roofs.  She is hard of hearing.  Yet, we are already near ventilation units from one business, and she does not hear them when other people do.

Alas, it turns out that unfortunately, her plans do not include me, although she conceded she might help the cat.  She did mention that if her part of the new home ends up being a one bedroom it will not house me.  I guess that means I pray she finds a home with a nice two or three bedroom basement.  No one asked me, but I would love to live in a basement.  Point is, she probably won't include me and told me to find another place.

As she discussed the numbers, and was excited about potential profit, I mentioned I remember how nice it feels to sell a good home for a good price.  I had my day, too.  But the comment was not acknowledged.  After all, I am just a pauper and this is about her.  No nice visit down memory lane to cheer me up a little.  She didn't even give my pride that honor.  Why, oh why, was she telling me all her fancy numbers and stuff.  Like talking about her next steak dinner to a man with NO teeth.  R.U.D.E.

At one point, I quickly reminded her of my station, and of my large upcoming bills, as well as how unprofitable last year was.  I told her I am broke.  She should know.  She is the one eating out, paying for services and buying things, and going out for entertainment, not me.  The quick reminder of my situation did not sensitize her.  She was excited to share her privileged plans with me, regardless that it was rude.

She consulted with me about continuing to increase my work hours, conversation which was really deceptive, because she does a lot to sabotage me in that area.  And the only support I get is occassional driving directions if I'm lost or reluctantly feeding the cat if I'm gone a long time.

And after that, she wanted to eat.  She wanted to share her dinner of leftovers she admittedly overcooked, food which would give me angioedema.  She knew I already battled angioedema for the last three hours, a fact that fell on deaf ears.  "No thanks, I'm allergic.  I already pulled out of traffic today due to angioedema."  Of course she didn't ask if I have enough OTC.  She just proceeded to inquire if I thought her dinner looked salvageable.

That was all.  Telling me she wants to jeopardize my longtime elderly pet and make me potentially homeless within 6 months (or anything could happen) and then wanting to share company and share burned leftovers for dinner.  No.  Absolutely not!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: GravitySucks on January 20, 2019, 07:48:24 PM
Unless you specifically sign a contract with a buyer’s agent (in states that allow that) ALL realtors represent the seller. No matter what they say. The seller pays their commission. Doesn’t matter if they work for the same agency or not. They are going to talk the buyer into the highest possible offer. Their commission is based on selling price.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 21, 2019, 10:08:20 PM
OK, I am confused which is not hard to do to me but, does she live with you or you live with her?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on January 21, 2019, 11:42:12 PM
OK, I am confused which is not hard to do to me but, does she live with you or you live with her?
@Astro Bitch They both cohabitate with some guy named Ted who likes to slam doors, not in a violent way but rather his extreme OCD. It's a crazy thing goin' on there but they make it work and they're happy. And they have a rooster! Cock-A-Doodle-Doooo!!!!

I don't know why you're so confused. ::)
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on January 22, 2019, 12:00:19 AM
@Astro Bitch They both cohabitate with some guy named Ted who likes to slam doors, not in a violent way but rather his extreme OCD. It's a crazy thing goin' on there but they make it work and they're happy. And they have a rooster! Cock-A-Doodle-Doooo!!!!

I don't know why you're so confused. ::)
I am glad my father-in-law does not read this or he would invite one of them to live with him,, that is just the way he is.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 22, 2019, 12:31:21 AM
Unless you specifically sign a contract with a buyer’s agent (in states that allow that) ALL realtors represent the seller. No matter what they say. The seller pays their commission. Doesn’t matter if they work for the same agency or not. They are going to talk the buyer into the highest possible offer. Their commission is based on selling price.
That's right!  Perfectly stated.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on January 22, 2019, 12:36:26 AM
OK, I am confused which is not hard to do to me but, does she live with you or you live with her?
I am well over the hill, & I recently moved in with her out of sheer, utter desperation after several tough years of barely hanging on as a renter.

And KSM is full of it!  I know no Ted nor any rooster, although roosters are fine with me.

I am glad my father-in-law does not read this or he would invite one of them to live with him,, that is just the way he is.
He's full of redeeming qualities...  :)
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 03, 2019, 12:16:52 AM
She scorched a ceramic frying pan making a meal with gluten in it, which I can't eat.  And, to her, somehow that translated into her thinking I should scrub the pan.  Wow.  In a house without a metal scrubber with a handle.  Super wow.

In a 15-minute period recently, she told me I will probably be moving soon with her.  And in the next breath told me things are not going well between us and I must move out, "immediately".  For Heaven's sake.  Perhaps we are on the road to memory care.

I don't like memory care facilities.  I don't think I would be a good fit.  They need to start building them around extremely large courtyards, so residents can really go outside entirely and not be locked up all day.  A courtyard would be a great way to keep residents confined for their own safety, while still having that feel of the great outdoors.  Also, they could put memory care facilities on larger pieces of land and just fence them.  But, most memory cares I've seen are just one part of a larger overall retirement community, so there isn't much room on the land left for memory care courtyards or fenced grounds.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 04, 2019, 12:58:16 AM
I think she's either washing her hands more, or someone went around and washed all the common handles, knobs, switches, etc...  A nice turn of events.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Azzerae on February 04, 2019, 03:55:42 AM
At one point, for a couple months, I had agreed to help my mother out by caring for my grandmother. This meant she lived with me for those 3 months. I'm good with old folks and luckily am a patient person, but by the end of those couple months, I was absolutely exhausted and near suicidal.

Of course, when you love someone, and they're your family you're prepared to take a lot of guff from them. But many of the things you make mention of in your posts here are relateable ... old folks can be hard and unfeeling, and get stuck in their way of doing things - regardless of that impeding anyone else or their lives.

Good on you for taking so much of this stuff on the chin, and in your stride.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 04, 2019, 05:24:14 PM
At one point, for a couple months, I had agreed to help my mother out by caring for my grandmother. This meant she lived with me for those 3 months. I'm good with old folks and luckily am a patient person, but by the end of those couple months, I was absolutely exhausted and near suicidal.

Of course, when you love someone, and they're your family you're prepared to take a lot of guff from them. But many of the things you make mention of in your posts here are relateable ... old folks can be hard and unfeeling, and get stuck in their way of doing things - regardless of that impeding anyone else or their lives.

Good on you for taking so much of this stuff on the chin, and in your stride.
Thanks.  Congratulations on helping your mother!  Yes, it's true.  Any times I do something differently than her (even something as small as changing the washing machine setting or putting the flatware holder back in the dish washer facing forward), it is viewed as "trying to change everything".  Whew.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 04, 2019, 05:48:21 PM
The woman who raged for half an hour when I said "when" at 3/4 cup of coffee as she poured... wanted to talk about boundaries today.  This, the lady who nearly ripped my door of its hinge last month, who double parks in front of the garage so I can't park at all, who once mistakenly locked me out for 4 hours and took her grand ole time coming back even though she wasn't doing anything important.  She knowingly controls the remote, flipping channels catywampus however she likes, and going into an angry tizzy if the TV is on the music channel.  Well, today she, that woman, the woman of no boundaries and total control, wanted to talk about personal space and boundaries.  Wow.  So we did.  Just wow.

We talked about how she shoved me yesterday while trying to reach the microwave as I was leaning and bending into the fridge from the side.  I told her (truthfully) that she had hurt me.  She replied, "Well, what would you have me do then?"  I said she could get my attention and tell me she needs to pass by, or she could just wait 20 seconds (as I often do for her but I didn't say that).  Weird - what kind of person doesn't intuitively know this?  And, what kind of person just always seems to need the microwave or the kitchen right as I am throwing together a sack lunch and trying to get out the door?  She has hours and hours and hours alone in the house, yet suddenly just when I need a resource, all of the sudden, she does too.  I don't even know if it's conscious.

She was upset because the other day in the dark just as she got home, I tried to show her a short cut with the TV/music remote.  It was dark and I failed to see her body language until she told me to back off, at which point of course I did.  I was just being eager to help.

I think she's just upset bec I've been working a little more and can't play Cinderella.
 
She actually insinuated that I, on the other hand, have no right to boundaries because I am in her home out of her charity due to my hardship.  In other words, she was basically saying only people with money deserve boundaries.  Wow.  So, I guess by that reasoning, it would be considered okay to abuse poor folks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She knows I could use more work and yet refuses to mention to any of her many acquaintences and neighbors that I am available to clean homes.  I asked why.  She said, "Because you won't mop crevices on your hands and knees, and you require telescoping tools to clean windows".  Seriously?  Both care giving companies I have worked for have forbid employees to mop on their hands and knees.  And everyone I know uses telescoping sponge/squeegees to clean windows.  Not a ladder, ammonia and newsprint.

I bought her a mop (and broom and vacuum) because she didn't have one.  I've used it many times.  I mop a lot.  Yet, I guess one time she saw me spot clean with a rag.  Today she said she cannot recommend me for mopping because I just wipe spots with a rag.  OMG.  I reminded her I bought her the mop, & that I use it all the time.  When I moved in, her place was very dirty.  It has been very clean for many months.  She admits it.

But she can't bring herself to recommend me to clean homes.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The moment I woke up and had not even had a sip of my coffee and decaf mix, she told me she wanted to tell me something serious.  I told her I had been white knuckling pain the last 5 hours (as she should damn well know) and bargained for a few minutes to get a little caffeine in me before her tirade.  She said it's time for me to move out.  Okay, I'll call the limo.

She doesn't get it. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on February 04, 2019, 10:33:24 PM

And KSM is full of it!  I know no Ted nor any rooster, although roosters are fine with me.
He's full of redeeming qualities...  :)
LOLOL  Somehow that just makes it all worth it.  :)


rooster ;D
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 05, 2019, 12:03:16 AM
The redeeming qualities comment was about Astrob*tch's father-in-law!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on February 05, 2019, 12:49:18 AM
The redeeming qualities comment was about Astrob*tch's father-in-law!
I am and was aware of that! It's the other part ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 05, 2019, 08:41:38 PM
I am and was aware of that! It's the other part ::) ::) ::) ::)
Okay so you're not a block head.

Today went well.  Until this evening when I confided in a sibling about the time GD tried to take my closed door down.  Perhaps I should not have confided, because said sibling immediately called GD & she abruptly left the house in her car almost 3 hours ago.  She gossips maliciously about me all the time.  All I did was confide a truth.  Since she's been gone so long and it's close to freezing outside, I can only assume she has gone to cry wolf over at yet another sibling's house, something she has done once before.  It's deceptive of her to do that.  Hopefully they see through the deception.  I shouldn't have to be on pins and needles tonight, nor walk on eggshells every day.  She sure likes drama and attention.  I vacuumed in case she comes back tonight so she'll know I'm peaceful.  All I did was make a disclosure to someone.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on February 05, 2019, 08:51:54 PM
Okay so you're not a block head.

Today went well.  Until this evening when I confided in a sibling about the time GD tried to take my closed door down.  Perhaps I should not have confided, because said sibling immediately called GD & she abruptly left the house in her car almost 3 hours ago.  She gossips maliciously about me all the time.  All I did was confide a truth.  Since she's been gone so long and it's close to freezing outside, I can only assume she has gone to cry wolf over at yet another sibling's house, something she has done once before.  It's deceptive of her to do that.  Hopefully they see through the deception.  I shouldn't have to be on pins and needles tonight, nor walk on eggshells every day.  She sure likes drama and attention.  I vacuumed in case she comes back tonight so she'll know I'm peaceful.  All I did was make a disclosure to someone.
If I am a block head everybody should try it. It's pretty good ;)

The drama you're describing has me harkening back to high school or even earlier, good Lord. These people will eventually hang themselves in one way or the other as they're too stupid to realize they are their own worst enemy.  Have you considered stabbing them?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 06, 2019, 03:59:33 PM
If I am a block head everybody should try it. It's pretty good ;)

The drama you're describing has me harkening back to high school or even earlier, good Lord. These people will eventually hang themselves in one way or the other as they're too stupid to realize they are their own worst enemy.  Have you considered stabbing them?
No, I wish harm on no  one.  She has always been a plagued woman and now that she's older she gets attention out of it.  My only goal other than Christian is to keep a roof over my and my elderly cat's head until I can re-build my financial life.  I ordered my first "senior" product yesterday - ha ha.  Free checks once a year for seniors.  I can't believe I'm there now.

I never thought you'd be my moralizer.  It wasn't always this way between us.  I became more tolerant.  What happened to you?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 07, 2019, 01:30:18 AM
GD is off her rocker.  One day she tells someone I'm "developmentally disabled" (So much for Honor Roll) lol then the next day she tells someone I'm "schizoid" omg and today she gave me a brochure to help me with opiod addiction.  I'm not even sure what an opiod is and I just sailed through a random drug test for my job!  Not to mention having a career in behavioral health!  She makes no sense.  She has even told people I saw a UFO as a child, which is not true at all!  She is just nuts.

One time my attorney asked her to testify about my good character.  GD tried to start her testimony with, "Well, the weirdest thing I remember about Sophia would be..."  so the attorney of course cut her off and did not use her testimony in court.  She is ridiculous.  I asked her to finish her sentence and she said she had wanted to talk about the UFO.  There never was any UFO.  I am living in the Twilight Zone.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 07, 2019, 09:28:06 PM
Made it through another day.

I told a relative about her attacking my door one night.  When she found out I had disclosed it, she retaliated very heavily.  So yesterday was full of negative surprises.  However, that was then and this is now.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 09, 2019, 02:51:26 AM
And more negative surprises.  She claims not to be a Christian and it shows. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 16, 2019, 12:28:29 AM
Last night, I volunteered to clean the oven.  No problem.  Then today she pulled a surprise & says a realtor will be here tomorrow.  I replied, "I wish you would have told me yesterday so I could have prioritized."  She didn't know what I meant.  I told her if she had let me know yesterday, I could have paced myself cleaning my areas which do show, instead of spending hours cleaning the inside of an oven.  She still doesn't really "get it".

It's just insulting.  As if my appearance, my impression doesn't matter at all.  She is so backwards.  You'd think she'd want my areas white glove clean so she could subtly mention to the realtor that I am looking for a private live-in care giving job, in case the realtor knows anyone.  Or subtly mention I'm here because I'm not getting enough office work, in case the realtor knows someone hiring.  But, GD won't do that. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on February 17, 2019, 12:01:13 AM
Today's shift was cut by 4.5 hours.  Then it was cut by another 3 hours.  But I got paid for some.  How awful.  Not the first time lately.

Two prior employers did not declare my wages to Employment Security.  So, when I received my unemployment checks, they were substantially smaller than my entitlement.  What a shocking finding this weekend.  I'll have to contact them.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on March 07, 2019, 02:08:20 AM
That worked out well.  Everything was proper even though it didn't look right.

Bio-mom was gone a night due to the weather, staying with a friend.  I was able to put a lock on my closet door, since she made a threat against my work clothes & shoes, and other items in there.  I don't think she would really follow through, as abusing someone's stuff is illegal.  But just in case.  I would rather put the lock on the bedroom door, but I don't want to have a fight over it or risk the cat losing liberty.  She won't notice the closet lock, though.

I hate how she gets mean right after I pay rent, or clean house.  Simply perverted.  If I were able, I would look at her and say, "You are being rude.  I just paid you rent.  Because you are being rude, I am going to stop the rent check.  I will write you another check on a better day, but I'm not going to have you be rude after I just handed you hundreds of dollars."

As for her being rude on nights after I cleaned her home, I can't really go back & make things a mess.  It would only hurt me.  All I can do is slow down on chores in common areas.  Or just do a little at a time, which is kind of what I've adjusted to.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on March 09, 2019, 07:20:13 PM
And I thought I had it bad with FIL.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on March 09, 2019, 11:20:51 PM
And I thought I had it bad with FIL.
Nice to have a little sympathy.  Well, I got home & all my stuff is still here so evidently her threat a few weeks ago (with today's date) was cancelled.  So, she was law-abiding and we have a peaceful night sans hot cops...  :).
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 04, 2019, 01:47:29 PM
I guess I've gotten used to the ridiculous.  She thrives on drama.  Working a lot lately helps.  Neighbors are catching on to her evil ways and she wants to relocate.  There were no problems between 2/14 and 3/14 after a relative talked to her.  And she even feeds the cat when I'm working long shifts.  But, after St. Patrick's Day, she's kind of back to her evil ways.  She blocked my car in on purpose again and left in someone else's car, making me late for work.  But, the house is not on the market yet, so that's good.  But we keep things "realtor ready" almost every day, as she does have a realtor.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Exile on April 05, 2019, 08:02:47 PM
I have only read this page but I would say you should just pack what you can and leave.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: 26 horses on April 06, 2019, 07:34:19 PM
I have only read this page but I would say you should just pack what you can and leave.

She's had other less savory digs, but this sounds miserable. :-\
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 18, 2019, 01:06:40 PM
I have only read this page but I would say you should just pack what you can and leave.
Nothing money can't fix...

Lately, I've been working 12-15 hours days.  The other day, GD was angry about having to feed the cat when I've been gone.  She said, angrily:  "Your cat is extorting me.  When I don't feed her, she gets sick on the carpet.  This is extortion.  She has me hostage."   It sounds hilarious, but she absolutely meant it 100%.  I just don't understand how she can be that way.

A few years ago, GD had given me her precious, well-worn cookbook but later she recently said she resented giving it away and missed it.  So I found an edition.  It came in the mail yesterday, in brown wrap.  Anyhow, I suggested she open it right away because it was something she has wanted and recently mentioned.  I reminded her Mothers' Day is coming & no harm in opening it early.  She declined & just sourly said the best gift I could give is to get back on my own (been here since summer).  I felt so angry that I almost didn't give it to her.  I definitely decided it won't be her Mothers' Day gift.  I might just slip it into the kitchen recipe books & when she notices, act blase.  Anytime I do anything nice or pay rent, she tries to start fights.  Some people just can't be happy.  I think she has real depression, so no sense getting too personal about any of it. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 18, 2019, 11:47:02 PM
She was very unpleasant today.  She manages well with her acquaintances for the most part.  But she sure is rude to family.  Nothing was good enough for her this evening, no matter how homemade, how organic, or how well prepared.  And, she wanted to fight before bedtime.  I responded by vacuuming the house.  Kind of hard to fight over the noise of a vacuum.  On my birthday.  I wanted to do vacuum tomorrow anyway, because company is coming.  Nothing like a head start.

She tried to get me to clean and vacuum her car, but thank God that did not happen.  Isn't it enough I shopped for, cooked, and cleaned up after everything we ate today, on my birthday.

There was a gift.  But her comment, "I want the ribbon back" was pitiful.  If it had been anyone else, I would have said Take The Whole Thing Back Bitch.  But, since it was her I tried to be nice.  But I don't plan to put ribbons on gifts for her anymore for a while, that's for sure.  Maybe I'll keep a nice ribbon on hand in case she balks, but if she does, I am still going to say, "I want it back".
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: GravitySucks on April 18, 2019, 11:49:26 PM
Happy Birthday sofia.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 19, 2019, 08:30:14 AM
Happy Birthday sofia.
Thank you, GS.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on April 19, 2019, 07:50:39 PM
Thank you, GS.
Why didn't you just say it was your BD? I sincerely hope you have a wonderful day. Treat yourself to something, I say. Come to think of it, that CHAIR has wheels  on it so perhaps I'll just sit on it and wheel it on down like skateboarding, but sitting :D
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Astro Bitch on April 19, 2019, 08:49:52 PM
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Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Dateline on April 20, 2019, 06:35:14 AM
Happy Belated Birthday, I hope it was also a Good Friday.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: 26 horses on April 20, 2019, 10:59:57 AM
And another belated Happy B-Day Sofiawolf, be well, and find your OWN space - you deserve it!

 ;D

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Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: PolkaDot on April 20, 2019, 09:34:38 PM
Happy Belated Birthday! 🎂🎉
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 21, 2019, 06:50:46 PM
Wasn't expecting that  :D.  Like a surprise party.

I am overwhelmed with cute, adorable and ironic - Thanks for the wishes over my birthday and Good Friday.  It was a good weekend, and Western Catholics are once again allowed to say Alleluia until next Good Friday.  I think belated wishes are a great reminder that in a sense, every living day is a birthday.

KSM, I'm going to get my own rolling chair!!  Very soon. 
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on April 25, 2019, 07:09:03 PM


KSM, I'm going to get my own rolling chair!!  Very soon.
@Sofia Ahh, so you'll need a nice new desk!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 25, 2019, 08:13:40 PM
@Sofia Ahh, so you'll need a nice new desk!
Actually, the plan changed.  I shopped everywhere & no one had a cheap, armless one.  Even online.  Weird.  But just when I didn't know what to do, one of GD's lawn chairs is working out great.  I'll keep my eye out for a rolling chair, but in the meanwhile I'm fine.  No desk necessary  ;).

I really like those ergonomic kneeling "chairs".  A friend used to have one & it felt great.  But I wouldn't be able to bring one here.  Other than food, soap & cleaning supplies, GD thinks I should not so much as buy a spool of thread until I can afford $650 a month and of course, first, last, & deposit.  Someone gave me an exercise bike & she made me prove I didn't pay for it.

My company lost 4 clients & my client deceased (it was expected but sad).  I think I'm going to have to work for a facility where if one client passes away, there are still other clients to care for, because I was working almost 50 hours a week but now I haven't had any work since the 16th.  I am considering applying for unemployment, but my employer will find out & I wonder what they will think.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: GravitySucks on April 25, 2019, 08:27:02 PM
Actually, the plan changed.  I shopped everywhere & no one had a cheap, armless one.  Even online.  Weird.  But just when I didn't know what to do, one of GD's lawn chairs is working out great.  I'll keep my eye out for a rolling chair, but in the meanwhile I'm fine.  No desk necessary  ;).

I really like those ergonomic kneeling "chairs".  A friend used to have one & it felt great.  But I wouldn't be able to bring one here.  Other than food, soap & cleaning supplies, GD thinks I should not so much as buy a spool of thread until I can afford $650 a month and of course, first, last, & deposit.  Someone gave me an exercise bike & she made me prove I didn't pay for it.

My company lost 4 clients & my client deceased (it was expected but sad).  I think I'm going to have to work for a facility where if one client passes away, there are still other clients to care for, because I was working almost 50 hours a week but now I haven't had any work since the 16th.  I am considering applying for unemployment, but my employer will find out & I wonder what they will think.

I found these to be the best office chair and they really help build up your core muscles. The ones without a back are even cheaper.

https://www.amazon.com/Gaiam-Classic-Balance-Ball-Chair/dp/B0007VB4NE/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=gaiam+ball+chair&qid=1556249116&s=gateway&sr=8-3

https://www.amazon.com/Gaiam-Classic-Backless-Balance-Chair/dp/B0102UUH0U/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=gaiam+ball+chair&qid=1556249289&s=gateway&sr=8-4
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 25, 2019, 08:27:53 PM
She's a rager.  I long for the day when she's just screamin', & someone comes to the door who overhears her.  That would make my day.

Once every couple months, I clean house for the longtime "house cleaner" who comes in & does a thorough job dusting up high, polishing glass, and vacuuming, including underneath most of the furniture (not the couch or entertainment shelves of course).  So, I cleaned house like I always do,  the lady came today.  GD has been on a spiral down, & was not at her best.  The cleaner was almost able to finish her shift, but did leave before the shift ended due to dizziness.  Was it real dizziness?  Or, was it because GD had started to ask to much heavy work of her after she'd already cleaned the house for 3 hours?  Or maybe because GD had been a little rude at one point?  Or, possibly because GD refused to let the lady use my professional glass cleaner like usual, but insisted she wash the glass tables with vinegar water?  We may never know why the lady got dizzy.  But I wouldn't blame the lady for bailing.  When the lady got dizzy, GD didn't even offer her the bed, even though they were working in the bedroom at the time.  The poor thing layed on the floor.  I hope she is okay.  She is usually a wonderful ray of sunshine & she's overcome cancer the hard way in years past.



Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 25, 2019, 08:30:28 PM
I found these to be the best office chair and they really help build up your core muscles. The ones without a back are even cheaper.

https://www.amazon.com/Gaiam-Classic-Balance-Ball-Chair/dp/B0007VB4NE/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=gaiam+ball+chair&qid=1556249116&s=gateway&sr=8-3

https://www.amazon.com/Gaiam-Classic-Backless-Balance-Chair/dp/B0102UUH0U/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=gaiam+ball+chair&qid=1556249289&s=gateway&sr=8-4
"Gives energy" - Yes, I would imagine so.  Remember these?

A good-sized ball like the one you pictured also makes a great foot or leg rest, especially if you put it in a box so it doesn't roll.   Pretty darn comfortable!  I haven't had one lately but thanks for the reminder - it would have multiple uses, as they are good for physical therapy.

Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: GravitySucks on April 25, 2019, 08:34:43 PM
"Gives energy" - Yes, I would imagine so.  Remember these?

Yep. I have three of those chairs. I used them at home and in my office. It takes a few days to get used to but they really work well.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 25, 2019, 08:38:10 PM
Yep. I have three of those chairs. I used them at home and in my office. It takes a few days to get used to but they really work well.
Plastic doesn't breathe very well so for females, I suggest throwing a couple towels over the part sat on...  I remember sitting on one that I had for a long time.  It's pretty good.  My legs on the ground kept it from moving, and they come in different sizes.  I think mine was a medium one.  However, the larger ones are actually easier on the spine like for physical therapy because they have a larger circumference.  Stretching over a small one would be a tighter stretch.  It's my naptime.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on April 25, 2019, 08:58:24 PM
@Sofia Are you able to work in an old folks home situation where the work kind of... renews itself, if you know what I mean. These jobs have benefits and usually all the perks. Definitely steady work once you're in.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 26, 2019, 12:27:09 AM
@Sofia Are you able to work in an old folks home situation where the work kind of... renews itself, if you know what I mean. These jobs have benefits and usually all the perks. Definitely steady work once you're in.
That dawned on me, too.  I mean, the agency has 200 of us and they promised sufficient work.  But, it hasn't come true at all.  Plus they made me work 15 hours in a row once, & frequently want 12 hours in a row, which is kind of obscene (and disruptive to my loved ones/my health regimens) considering I haven't even averaged 30 hours/week.  I mean if they want me to work doubles, as long as I'm full time I would consider it if I had to.  But, don't ask me to work doubles & then not give me any work.  So, they are either exploiting us horribly or they aren't very well managed.

Okay, here goes.  Retirement home #1 canned a lot of us after they got a new CEO who "wanted to bring in her own people".  I'd only been there 2 weeks & was loving it.

Retirement home #2 could not find a uniform which would go around my bustline (This is not a joke).  They told me I'd have to find my own in that particular color.  I was not able to, so they didn't have any work for me.

Retirement home #3 had problems of a sexual nature, like male employees using keys to barging into locked residences of elderly females without knocking first.  Like, front desk employees actually opening & reading residents' mail if the mail was from a sexual aid company (It was against policy to read residents' mail).  And laughing & saying the names of which residents' ordered them loudly, even where the public could here.  One of my jobs as receptionist was NOT to give master key copies to any employee for any unit UNLESS it was vacated.  But other receptionists kept doing it & my trainer didn't want to explain to me how to make sure a unit was vacated.  I should have gone over her head, but instead I point blank told her that we all know residents are sexual, because we'd all been joking about the catalogs they order, so what if maintenance barged in on a lady who was engaged in sexual behavior?  Finally, she showed me the process (which would be my JOB) to do to make sure a unit was vacated before handing over the master keys.  She acted really put out at having to teach me that.  She maintained that it really didn't matter.  For that question, for portraying residents as potentially sexual, I was fired.  Obviously that job not on my resume.  At the time I was fired, Human Resources told me they were also letting me go because I am allergic to eggs, which meant that I had to have (and did have) a blood draw to be tested for tuberculosis instead of the regular injection.  It had cost the company $150 extra (and caused me a LOT of run-around, but I never complained).  I'm sure I have a case there, but it would be her word against mine.

Retirement home #4 had to let care givers/hospitality aids go after the state found out the facility didn't have enough CNAs on duty.  I had been there 2 weeks.  I am eligible for re-hire.

I realize these crazy, short terms of employment are no reason to quit trying.  So yes, I will continue to try to see which facilities might be a good fit for me.

There are things to consider when choosing to work at a facility.  At one facility, I met a resident who became paralyzed the day she got a flu shot.  In 2018.  Being paralyzed is so serious.  If a paralyzed person has asthma or hypoglycemia or whatever...  they are totally dependent on a nurse's aid for their survival.  This particular woman did not have asthma or hypoglycemia or whatever.  But, she did have high blood pressure.  When you are in a facility, you don't get a "medi-pack" to use for your daily pills, not even for high blood pressure pills.  You are totally dependent on the staff to give you your daily pill, and hopefully on time.  One day, the facility was very late in delivering her blood pressure medicine or checking her blood pressure.  Her husband found out that her blood pressure that day was in the heart attack range.  She wasn't that old.  Her husband worked full time & after work every day spent hours with her.  Anyhow, she survived medical negligence, but she was paralyzed just from the flu shot.  She was in the facility a long time, eventually progressing to being able to sit in a wheel chair.  I hope she learned to walk again, but by then I was no longer employed.  She & her husband were two of the nicest people I have ever met.

Working in some facilities, like the one above, requires the flu shot every year.  They say you can opt to wear a mask, but they lose funding from Medicare if you opt out, so anyone who opts out is a pariah & treated poorly by management.  Since I had only been there a short time, I had not yet received the flu shot.  Which is a paralysis risk (I'm sure it says so right in the packaging, but we don't see the packaging, only the nurse does).

So, an applicant needs to think seriously about what type of facility that are comfortable working in, considering what immunizations are required.

Along related lines, children all across America are becoming paralyzed by a condition called acute flaccid myelitis (AFM).  The paralysis disrupts their families, their childhood, & their health.  They have to stay in medical facilities to recover, & anytime you stay in a medical facility, you risk dying of negligence or malpractise.  Medical professional error are THE leading cause of death in the United States.  Anyhow, paralysis is a very serious, growing issue.  I believe that these cases are clearly caused by the flu shot.  I also believe the Associated Press is negligent in not confronting the Center for Disease Control about it.

I've read articles about AFM and Guillan Barre Syndrome, and experts believe they are related.  Guillan Barre Syndrome is what paralyzed the lady I met in a facility, who became paralyzed the day she received a flu shot.  Anyhow, I believe the mainstream media has been acting like these are two different diseases, but I've read expert articles that state that the symptoms of AFM are caused by the same bodily problem as the symptoms of Guillan Barre Syndrome, which therefore (to me) draws a connection between AFM and flu shots.  Besides, who do we know that gets flu shots?  Children.  And who is being paralyzed?  Children.

If you research AFM, remember it is only half the picture.  The statistics on AFM do not include the statistics on Guillan Barre Sundrome.  Yet the two conditions may have the same cause & to me, effectively are the same disease.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 26, 2019, 01:53:21 AM
Another thing to consider when applying to facilities is their pet policy.  At facility #5, dogs were allowed.  It was an addiction recovery facility.   Pitbulls were common.  They were frequently off leash and would come right up to you.  Many positions were being eliminated under a new CEO.  On my last day, a male patient, through no fault of his own, was almost killed by one that belonged to a patient's visiting family. 

I don't know of any facility which allows dogs but does aptitude testing.  I had mentioned concerns about dog aggression, but the manager in charge tried to label me a dog hater.  Of course, she ended up with egg on her face, as I love dogs.  Anyhow, the point is, most people don't recognize subtle aggression in dogs and because of it, managements just let in any dogs.  The dog who almost killed that patient was found to have a formal criminal record of aggression which its owners knew.

The nearest retirement home to me told me they allow any dogs and they do not aptitude test any. I wanted to apply, but I've seen guard dog breeds over there, like PB's.  And, owners let them out of vehicles before leashing up.  Too bad, because the place would be very convenient.

These types of concerns are impossible to ask during the hiring process.  I usually make an anonymous phone inquiry at the lowest possible level.  Reading reviews can help.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: 26 horses on April 26, 2019, 07:54:02 AM
Sofiawolf you are a wellspring of information any aging person ought to know but is terrified of knowing!

To wit - this article on how the aging and temporarily inform are LOOTED of there assets by the guardianship, a state-sponsored industry:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/09/how-the-elderly-lose-their-rights

How the Elderly Lose Their Rights
Guardians can sell the assets and control the lives of senior citizens without their consent—and reap a profit from it.

By Rachel AvivOctober 2, 2017

                                            XXXXXX!!!!WARNING!!!XXXXXXXXXXXX

This should be read by elders AND their children before the looting progresses into the court system!


Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 29, 2019, 12:08:01 AM
Sofiawolf you are a wellspring of information any aging person ought to know but is terrified of knowing!

To wit - this article on how the aging and temporarily inform are LOOTED of there assets by the guardianship, a state-sponsored industry:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/09/how-the-elderly-lose-their-rights

How the Elderly Lose Their Rights
Guardians can sell the assets and control the lives of senior citizens without their consent—and reap a profit from it.

By Rachel AvivOctober 2, 2017

                                            XXXXXX!!!!WARNING!!!XXXXXXXXXXXX

This should be read by elders AND their children before the looting progresses into the court system!
That was very sad. 

There is a non-profit watchdog organization called NASGA, the National Association to Stop Guardianship Abuse.  They are always accepting donations & they do great work on behalf of (usually elderly) citizens.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 29, 2019, 12:14:05 AM
GD was arrested for civil disobedience today.  That is good, so when I have to call when she gets out of control, there will already be an arrest on her record.

She cares about the environment & was part of a team trying to limit the local footprint of big oil.  It was nice of her to volunteer, but I wish she'd leave the arrests for younger people or at least people who aren't on prescription medicine.  But, the jailers treated her nicely.   Evidently her arms would not go all the way behind her back, so they put a chain between them.

She said next time, she is going to wrap her wrists beforehand so that the metal isn't directly on her skin.  Next time???

One protester was so elderly his arms would not go behind his back at all, so they couldn't cuff him.  All were processed in hours and released without bail for pending arraignments.

I had tried to convince her to stop short of being arrested, but she said her arrest was needed, because other younger people can't risk arrest if they want to keep their jobs.  I'm just glad they treated her well & that she was part of a team.  She's a bear, but I don't wish her harm.  I've seen her horoscope.  The way she is, is the way she is.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: GravitySucks on April 29, 2019, 02:16:41 AM
GD was arrested for civil disobedience today.  That is good, so when I have to call when she gets out of control, there will already be an arrest on her record.

She cares about the environment & was part of a team trying to limit the local footprint of big oil.  It was nice of her to volunteer, but I wish she'd leave the arrests for younger people or at least people who aren't on prescription medicine.  But, the jailers treated her nicely.   Evidently her arms would not go all the way behind her back, so they put a chain between them.

She said next time, she is going to wrap her wrists beforehand so that the metal isn't directly on her skin.  Next time???

One protester was so elderly his arms would not go behind his back at all, so they couldn't cuff him.  All were processed in hours and released without bail for pending arraignments.

I had tried to convince her to stop short of being arrested, but she said her arrest was needed, because other younger people can't risk arrest if they want to keep their jobs.  I'm just glad they treated her well & that she was part of a team.  She's a bear, but I don't wish her harm.  I've seen her horoscope.  The way she is, is the way she is.

I hope they at least carpooled to the event.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: PolkaDot on April 29, 2019, 08:24:38 AM
I hope they at least carpooled to the event.
;D !
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: 26 horses on April 29, 2019, 08:46:18 AM
GD was arrested for civil disobedience today.  That is good, so when I have to call when she gets out of control, there will already be an arrest on her record.

Devious... ::)

Quote
She cares about the environment & was part of a team trying to limit the local footprint of big oil.

Wot, are they slant drilling Puyallup or sumpin?

Sheesh...
 
Quote
It was nice of her to volunteer, but I wish she'd leave the arrests for younger people or at least people who aren't on prescription medicine.  But, the jailers treated her nicely.   Evidently her arms would not go all the way behind her back, so they put a chain between them.

Classy...

Quote
She said next time, she is going to wrap her wrists beforehand so that the metal isn't directly on her skin.  Next time???

Luddites never quit, until the lights go out and the store shelves empty...

Quote
One protester was so elderly his arms would not go behind his back at all, so they couldn't cuff him.  All were processed in hours and released without bail for pending arraignments.

A total waste of time and resources. >:(

Quote
I had tried to convince her to stop short of being arrested, but she said her arrest was needed, because other younger people can't risk arrest if they want to keep their jobs.  I'm just glad they treated her well & that she was part of a team.  She's a bear, but I don't wish her harm.  I've seen her horoscope.  The way she is, is the way she is.

Check your horrorscope and see what we replace diesel fuel, plastics, and everything else that makes this matrix run with...mmm'k? ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 29, 2019, 10:28:49 PM
I hope they at least carpooled to the event.
Lol, in their hybrid electric cars, tee hee.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 29, 2019, 10:33:04 PM
Devious... ::)

Wot, are they slant drilling Puyallup or sumpin?

Sheesh...
 
Classy...

Luddites never quit, until the lights go out and the store shelves empty...

A total waste of time and resources. >:(

Check your horrorscope and see what we replace diesel fuel, plastics, and everything else that makes this matrix run with...mmm'k? ::) ::) ::)
You had me at devious...  Wait, what?  I'm just an observer!

I would have preferred if she chose natural gas, since homes and bike paths have been exploding and since I believe California has had perpetual leaks affecting air quality for thousands of miles...  but she did not choose natural gas.  She chose big oil.  Big oil, I think, is responsible for not just gas, but plastic everything, like even plastic bags.  And I think a lot of recycled or purified petroleum products go into cosmetics.  Almost everything is plastic.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on April 29, 2019, 10:43:18 PM
Look, what's it gonna take? She's (GD) now being arrested and you're sleeping in the same residence as her. I've seen this in movies @Sofia and things get rough! Screaming, running through the halls, hair pulling, heads dunked in toilets, scissors, OMG SCISSORS!!!!


GET THE FUCK, OUT!!!


I'm still willing to move you to Atlanta!! That's where that fucking chair is!!!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 30, 2019, 10:21:17 AM
Look, what's it gonna take? She's (GD) now being arrested and you're sleeping in the same residence as her. I've seen this in movies @Sofia and things get rough! Screaming, running through the halls, hair pulling, heads dunked in toilets, scissors, OMG SCISSORS!!!!


GET THE FUCK, OUT!!!


I'm still willing to move you to Atlanta!! That's where that fucking chair is!!!
Thank you.  I wouldn't be able to take the heat.  GD is a wimp.  Hasn't exercised in years.  Even in one of her adrenaline-fueled rages, I have quite an advantage and I'm (hope she never sees this) 10X smarter in action.  I am lucky she is a bleed risk, so she probably won't go for sharp objects.  A big saving grace, here. 

I've learned to let her get wound up & just feed the demon a little.  Keeps things predictable.  It was when she went after the bedroom door that I learned she doesn't have much stamina, and not much strength.  It was good to know.

The biggest danger actually is that she slanders.  Nevermind that her various stories contradict each other.

She has not received her team civil disobedience sentence yet; could be just a fine or a little jail or both.  Or, depending on the judge, could be a hefty fine & significant jail time.  Hmmm... 

It has been a frustrating start to the week.  One day, she came home a day earlier than I expected & stayed a day longer than I had understood.  But now, she is taking a short trip so I'll have several days of peace.  I plan to pull out my summer clothes and keep boxing up winter ones.  In peace.

Have you ever noticed old women often have a lot of shoes they never wear?  Shoes are a difficult thing to let go of.  I've had to let go of a lot of pretty or quality shoes, some barely worn.  But, better to let them go than be an old lady with 20 shoes on the back of her door that don't fit.  By the time a woman is 50, she's probably acquired a lot of trends and a lot of tastes.  That can lead to a real loss of grace and difficulties being satisfied if one isn't careful. 

Do you think Bart Ell could be Liberace?  I mean, if you don't want to put too much energy into patrollllling… why not give trolllls their own space??  I'm not sure their in the same age bracket, though.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on April 30, 2019, 01:10:34 PM
Thank you.  I wouldn't be able to take the heat.  GD is a wimp.  Hasn't exercised in years.  Even in one of her adrenaline-fueled rages, I have quite an advantage and I'm (hope she never sees this) 10X smarter in action.  I am lucky she is a bleed risk, so she probably won't go for sharp objects.  A big saving grace, here. 

I've learned to let her get wound up & just feed the demon a little.  Keeps things predictable.  It was when she went after the bedroom door that I learned she doesn't have much stamina, and not much strength.  It was good to know.

The biggest danger actually is that she slanders.  Nevermind that her various stories contradict each other.

She has not received her team civil disobedience sentence yet; could be just a fine or a little jail or both.  Or, depending on the judge, could be a hefty fine & significant jail time.  Hmmm... 

It has been a frustrating start to the week.  One day, she came home a day earlier than I expected & stayed a day longer than I had understood.  But now, she is taking a short trip so I'll have several days of peace.  I plan to pull out my summer clothes and keep boxing up winter ones.  In peace.

Have you ever noticed old women often have a lot of shoes they never wear?  Shoes are a difficult thing to let go of.  I've had to let go of a lot of pretty or quality shoes, some barely worn.  But, better to let them go than be an old lady with 20 shoes on the back of her door that don't fit.  By the time a woman is 50, she's probably acquired a lot of trends and a lot of tastes.  That can lead to a real loss of grace and difficulties being satisfied if one isn't careful. 

Do you think Bart Ell could be Liberace?  I mean, if you don't want to put too much energy into patrollllling… why not give trolllls their own space??  I'm not sure their in the same age bracket, though.
...their, their, Jackstar… just breathe!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on April 30, 2019, 11:15:01 PM
Thank you.  I wouldn't be able to take the heat.  GD is a wimp.  Hasn't exercised in years.  Even in one of her adrenaline-fueled rages, I have quite an advantage and I'm (hope she never sees this) 10X smarter in action.  I am lucky she is a bleed risk, so she probably won't go for sharp objects.  A big saving grace, here. 

I've learned to let her get wound up & just feed the demon a little.  Keeps things predictable.  It was when she went after the bedroom door that I learned she doesn't have much stamina, and not much strength.  It was good to know.

The biggest danger actually is that she slanders.  Nevermind that her various stories contradict each other.

She has not received her team civil disobedience sentence yet; could be just a fine or a little jail or both.  Or, depending on the judge, could be a hefty fine & significant jail time.  Hmmm... 

It has been a frustrating start to the week.  One day, she came home a day earlier than I expected & stayed a day longer than I had understood.  But now, she is taking a short trip so I'll have several days of peace.  I plan to pull out my summer clothes and keep boxing up winter ones.  In peace.

Have you ever noticed old women often have a lot of shoes they never wear?  Shoes are a difficult thing to let go of.  I've had to let go of a lot of pretty or quality shoes, some barely worn.  But, better to let them go than be an old lady with 20 shoes on the back of her door that don't fit.  By the time a woman is 50, she's probably acquired a lot of trends and a lot of tastes.  That can lead to a real loss of grace and difficulties being satisfied if one isn't careful. 

Do you think Bart Ell could be Liberace?  I mean, if you don't want to put too much energy into patrollllling… why not give trolllls their own space??  I'm not sure their in the same age bracket, though.
I'm starting to think you could beat up most of the male posters here.


So ok, this silliness of Bart and MV being the same person have to stop. It's ridiculous.


Back on COASTGAB in 2013 into 2014 @Bart Ell  and I exchanged several PM's regarding a certain hard rock metal band from a certain country that is not the US! He Bart actually hooked me up with a file I was looking for.  We also discussed Bart's old landlord back when Bart really wanted to BE SOMEBODY while living in California at the time!!! These were things that MV would have no interest in nor would he have had any fucking idea what I was talking about in said PM's!! There are many other things as well that simple deduction explains so C'mon, You're better than this moronic speculation that belongs over on the other place.

Sheeshuss


Stop It!!


now please let go of my penis
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on May 01, 2019, 01:01:16 AM
I'm starting to think you could beat up most of the male posters here.


So ok, this silliness of Bart and MV being the same person have to stop. It's ridiculous.


Back on COASTGAB in 2013 into 2014 @Bart Ell  and I exchanged several PM's regarding a certain hard rock metal band from a certain country that is not the US! He Bart actually hooked me up with a file I was looking for.  We also discussed Bart's old landlord back when Bart really wanted to BE SOMEBODY while living in California at the time!!! These were things that MV would have no interest in nor would he have had any fucking idea what I was talking about in said PM's!! There are many other things as well that simple deduction explains so C'mon, You're better than this moronic speculation that belongs over on the other place.

Sheeshuss


Stop It!!


now please let go of my penis
I hadn't realized others were speculating too.  Okay, it was a long shot.   They say sex is all in the head.  Maybe defense is, too.  I was reaching for my thumb drive.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Azzerae on June 03, 2019, 09:20:23 AM
I hadn't realized others were speculating too.  Okay, it was a long shot.   They say sex is all in the head.  Maybe defense is, too.  I was reaching for my thumb drive.

Does it vibrate?
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on June 05, 2019, 01:51:47 AM
Does it vibrate?
Not in this thread, it doesn't!
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Azzerae on June 05, 2019, 07:31:18 AM
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on June 06, 2019, 12:22:30 AM

Don't let grandma see that in here!  I'd say it was an ear cleaner for the cat.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Azzerae on June 06, 2019, 07:54:03 AM
No that's this one.

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Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: KSM on June 06, 2019, 07:26:36 PM
Don't let grandma see that in here!  I'd say it was an ear cleaner for the cat.
So you're still there in that shitty situation? Intolerable! I still see you in Atlanta.. one day you'll wise up.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Azzerae on June 07, 2019, 08:06:12 AM
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Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on June 11, 2019, 12:15:12 AM
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Awww... Gluten-free, too!  +1 happens.
So you're still there in that shitty situation? Intolerable! I still see you in Atlanta.. one day you'll wise up.
There was a discussion on Valentine's Day with much improvement. I am lucky to be here.  I am having a terrible time finding enough work.  When I do find it, it involves insanely long shifts & overtime.  Then there is nothing again.  Unemployment ran out, if you can imagine that, kind of an anomaly.  Now, I don't even have enough hours in my base year to even qualify for any claim - unheard of.  Unheard of.  Because I'm so worried, I'm actually trying to keep an open mind about joining something like a convent or Americorp, neither of which is gainful work.

As I drove home from my last shift early in the morning, I saw people waiting for the homeless day center to open up so they could use the showers, laundry, etc...  It was disgusting.  No benches, for one thing.  A snotty, dirty prostitute-looking thing.  Filthy bums.  My God, I've been a hair's breadth away from that for a year.  I only came here because I had no choice.  Better to put up with bipolar blowouts on occasion than to associate with druggies and criminals.  Not to mention my longtime elderly cat.  I'll tolerate some abuse for her.  She is disabled.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: skittles on June 11, 2019, 02:00:48 AM
Awww... Gluten-free, too!  +1 happens.There was a discussion on Valentine's Day with much improvement. I am lucky to be here.  I am having a terrible time finding enough work.  When I do find it, it involves insanely long shifts & overtime.  Then there is nothing again.  Unemployment ran out, if you can imagine that, kind of an anomaly.  Now, I don't even have enough hours in my base year to even qualify for any claim - unheard of.  Unheard of.  Because I'm so worried, I'm actually trying to keep an open mind about joining something like a convent or Americorp, neither of which is gainful work.

As I drove home from my last shift early in the morning, I saw people waiting for the homeless day center to open up so they could use the showers, laundry, etc...  It was disgusting.  No benches, for one thing.  A snotty, dirty prostitute-looking thing.  Filthy bums.  My God, I've been a hair's breadth away from that for a year.  I only came here because I had no choice.  Better to put up with bipolar blowouts on occasion than to associate with druggies and criminals.  Not to mention my longtime elderly cat.  I'll tolerate some abuse for her.  She is disabled.

You are a good person for caring so much for your little companion, Sofia.  She loves you and I believe she is grateful for your devotion.
Title: Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
Post by: Sofia on June 11, 2019, 02:24:37 AM
You are a good person for caring so much for your little companion, Sofia.  She loves you and I believe she is grateful for your devotion.
Thanks, Skittles.  She's a remarkable cat.