Ask Bart Anything

[GravitySucks]

Callender's Peach Lattice?   With super saturated sugar in every bite?

I just want to spread my wings a bit without Mrs. Walks thinking I'm going to have an instant coronary.  I don't want to go all Senda

Pinch the crust off frosted brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts and crumble them into a bowl of Breyer's French Vanilla ice cream.

[Bart Ell]

Dear Bart,

Mrs. Walks_At_Night is out of the country for a few weeks and Little Walks is out of state at college.  So I find myself
Home Alone   I have gone pretty wild!   Here is a list

• Drinking Whole Milk
• Bought real, honest to goodness whole butter
• Eating white bread
• Not eating the little gnarlly heel of the bread loaf
• Eating Captain Crunch for breakfast
• Taking extra long showers
• Right now, I am making Fried Chicken for dinner
• Bought a big pack of bacon
• Cranking Dio on the stereo at max volume
• Drinking Hamm's (The beer refreshing) and lots of it

What other forms of debauchery would you suggest while I remain free?

I wish I could help but that seems like an average day to me - alone or not.
Well, almost.
I don't drink beer and I do eat the entire loaf, end included.
Hopefully it is Holy Diver or The Last In Line.

I think you could use a jar of pickled eggs and maybe some sort of masturbator device.
Also, get a huge cake and eat it until it is physically impossible to swallow another morsel.

[Walks_At_Night]

I wish I could help but that seems like an average day to me - alone or not.
Well, almost.
I don't drink beer and I do eat the entire loaf, end included.
Hopefully it is Holy Diver or The Last In Line.

I think you could use a jar of pickled eggs and maybe some sort of masturbator device.
Also, get a huge cake and eat it until it is physically impossible to swallow another morsel.

Can't do the "device" thing.  Disposal is such a bitch

Yep -it was Holy Diver and what a great idea on Pickled Eggs!    You are a Brainiac Bart!

B&B Style Yooper Pickled Eggs are going to happen! 

https://www.mtu.edu/alumni/favorites/pasties/recipes/bruces/index.html

[sean92008]

Can't eat in bed.  Just can't - not even with Cheez Whiz and wine.


Any other thoughts?  Maybe I'll get real nutso and get a Banana Split at the Dairy Queen.

Have the next three days off from work and I'll be painting the trim on the house and some other exciting things.

I'm so lame.   

Yeah, my "little project" found mold and I'm still not not done 2 months later.

Don't work so hard, Sonic takes 50% off after 8 p m.

Someone say "Holy Diver?"

[Walks_At_Night]

^^^^  Never seen *that* before.   Obviously the original is classic but Dio sure had talent as a vocalist as heard here.


Mold sucks.  Hang in there with it................

[albrecht]

Dear Bart,

Mrs. Walks_At_Night is out of the country for a few weeks and Little Walks is out of state at college.  So I find myself
Home Alone   I have gone pretty wild!   Here is a list

• Drinking Whole Milk
• Bought real, honest to goodness whole butter
• Eating white bread
• Not eating the little gnarlly heel of the bread loaf
• Eating Captain Crunch for breakfast
• Taking extra long showers
• Right now, I am making Fried Chicken for dinner
• Bought a big pack of bacon
• Cranking Dio on the stereo at max volume
• Drinking Hamm's (The beer refreshing) and lots of it

What other forms of debauchery would you suggest while I remain free?

Hamm's and Dio go well with some Jim Beam. Also only shirts to be worn, ideally worn v-necks or if deciding to mow or answer the door to Mormons etc 'wife beater', since the kids on the mission might mistake the v-neck or union-suit for...I would also add some Rainbow, Dio years Sabbath, and some Heaven n Hell to the mix, and slam a Hamm's everytime Man On The Silver Mountain comes on. Aggressively while screaming lyrics. Later some full B.O.C. albums should be heard...

[Whistler]

Dear Bart,

Mrs. Walks_At_Night is out of the country for a few weeks and Little Walks is out of state at college.  So I find myself
Home Alone   I have gone pretty wild!   Here is a list

• Drinking Whole Milk
• Bought real, honest to goodness whole butter
• Eating white bread
• Not eating the little gnarlly heel of the bread loaf
• Eating Captain Crunch for breakfast
• Taking extra long showers
• Right now, I am making Fried Chicken for dinner
• Bought a big pack of bacon
• Cranking Dio on the stereo at max volume
• Drinking Hamm's (The beer refreshing) and lots of it

What other forms of debauchery would you suggest while I remain free?

Have a real adventure --> Fry your morning bacon in the nude.   

[albrecht]

Have a real adventure --> Fry your morning bacon in the nude.   

Do NOT do this unless doing the bacon in the oven. And, even then, take great care.

[Walks_At_Night]

Do NOT do this unless doing the bacon in the oven. And, even then, take great care.

No doubt.  Gotta keep Uncle Charley safe from accidental grease splatters.......................

[sean92008]

No doubt.  Gotta keep Uncle Charley safe from accidental grease splatters.......................

Hot grease splatters are minor league compared to cock cages... Not that I'd know anything about that...

[Walks_At_Night]

Hot grease splatters are minor league compared to cock cages... Not that I'd know anything about that...

What?

[Walks_At_Night]

So of course I had to look.   

[sean92008]

What?

You should say it like this:. Whaaaaat?

[Sofia]

Get a pie and eat it from the center with a spoon.

Other people know about this sin too?

[Spookcat]

Other people know about this sin too?

What if you eat every part but the outside crust edge?