Ask Bart Anything

[Bart Ell]

Bart,

Was given a problem to solve at work. Tough one. Spent many hours trying to solve but nothing I could come up with worked. Let's just say that I was more than a little frustrated. My mind began to wander and for some reason I thought of that host scene where Tom Servo discusses accepting Crow as a sexual being.  You know - this scene:

Suddenly I felt that I knew the solution, coded up the patch, tested it out and it works like a honey. I'm coming up at a career crossroads. Mrs.WAN thinks that I should take the opportunity and call it a career and do something different. I've been resistant as being a code jock is all I've never known. However, the situation above is a definite indication that I've lost some zip on the fastball so to speak.  So the question is this. If you have to rely on a plastic toy, strutting its stuff in gold boots for guidance are you all washed up?

I don't know what a Tom Servo is but I do know you are only washed up when the plastic toy, strutting its stuff in gold boots has nothing to offer.

[Walks_At_Night]

I don't know what a Tom Servo is but I do know you are only washed up when the plastic toy, strutting its stuff in gold boots has nothing to offer.

Tom Servo is that thing with the bubble gum dispenser for a head that utters the memorable line in that clip: "Shake your peach cobbler baby. Good times!"

I'm definitely burned out on this shit after 30+ years but I do see your point. You don't always need a fastball to get the job done.
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[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

Do you need a good midget video today?

[Bart Ell]

Bart,

Do you need a good midget video today?

Thanks for that.
You know how I love the midgets!

[Walks_At_Night]

Thanks for that.
You know how I love the midgets!

Especially those that can run like the wind!

[JUAN]

It would appear from another thread than Connie Willis is a midget. 

Do you like her kind of midget, @Bart Ell ?

[KSM]

It would appear from another thread than Connie Willis is a midget. 

Do you like her kind of midget, @Bart Ell ?

You're all quite smitten with her ain't ya'

[Bart Ell]

Do you like her kind of midget, @Bart Ell ?

A bit too yacky for me.
I hate yacky.
I need silence sometimes.

[Walks_At_Night]

You're all quite smitten with her ain't ya'

I never was before but I sure as hell am now. Look at her go!  Seoul Sister is envious!

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[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

Let's say you have the chance to be an authoritarian despot, ruling a country chock full of beautiful, slavic women while instigating a border crisis with Poland which might trigger a World War. Also you have the chance to cut off Western Europe from a good chunk of its natural gas supply with winter coming on if they don't play ball. Pretty cool. right?   The downside is you have to wear a goofy hat.  Do you do it or is the hat an absolute deal breaker?

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[Bart Ell]

Bart,

Let's say you have the chance to be an authoritarian despot, ruling a country chock full of beautiful, slavic women while instigating a border crisis with Poland which might trigger a World War. Also you have the chance to cut off Western Europe from a good chunk of its natural gas supply with winter coming on if they don't play ball. Pretty cool. right?   The downside is you have to wear a goofy hat.  Do you do it or is the hat an absolute deal breaker?

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I can make the hat work, the mustache is the deal breaker for me.

[KSM]

Bart, my new lifestyle as a houseman starts in mid December. Should I purchase an apron and slippers? What about rollers for my hair and perhaps even getting into the Young & The Restless?  Romance novels with guys who look like me on the cover are not appealing in the slightest though because I am already alllll.. THAT!

*SNAPS S Z*

[JUAN]

An apron and a good, sturdy pair of work shoes.  Get back in that kitchen, right @Bart Ell ?

[PolkaDot]

Bart, my new lifestyle as a houseman starts in mid December. Should I purchase an apron and slippers? What about rollers for my hair and perhaps even getting into the Young & The Restless?  Romance novels with guys who look like me on the cover are not appealing in the slightest though because I am already alllll.. THAT!

*SNAPS S Z*

Can I pick the uniform?

[PolkaDot]

An apron and a good, sturdy pair of work shoes.  Get back in that kitchen, right @Bart Ell ?

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