Ask Bart Anything

[Bart Ell]

I worded that rather well. Your height is heavier than your weight.

I put my height on keto.
It is tired of being such a fatso!

[bateman]

You are but I will cut you some slack with the father angle on this one.
Don't be afraid of getting some pleasure from your butt.
Cranky old fuckers will call it gay but they are cranky old fuckers.
How can you do gay shit to yourself? It's an idiotic premise.
Seeing as you are interested in the shells, get one that was not owned by your father and ease it into your butt while you play with your front stuff.

This website is FREE

[Bart Ell]

This website is FREE

But my advice is priceless.

[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

The Chinese have spotted what they call a hut on the moon and their rover is making a beeline for it. Question is: How raging is Richard C. Hoagland's boner right now? On one hand he is not a young fellah anymore but on the other it is a bloody hut. On the damn moon! BOING!!!!!

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[Bart Ell]

Bart,

The Chinese have spotted what they call a hut on the moon and their rover is making a beeline for it. Question is: How raging is Richard C. Hoagland's boner right now? On one hand he is not a young fellah anymore but on the other it is a bloody hut. On the damn moon! BOING!!!!!

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It is quite fitting that you mention his boner and young in the same paragraph.

[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

In an effort to not work so much, I've started watching some entertainment kinds of things. Case in point, this movie where aliens cross the great void of time and space to invade Australia. They put boots on the ground immediately for some reason. Why soften up your foe first with air supremacy? A skirmish line pops out of a corn field and disrupts a carnival/australian rules football match.  The aliens then start wasting dudes and dragging chicks off by the hair.  No really.  For reals. The question is, will they throw them all back when they hear that grating Oz accent?

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For the curious - 18:05 for hair dragging action:

[Bart Ell]

The question is, will they throw them all back when they hear that grating Oz accent?

Aliens do not have ears, they communicate via thoughts.
Thankfully Australians do not think in that ugly accent.

[TigerLily]

I put my height on keto.
It is tired of being such a fatso!

But you told me you couldn't sleep with me because my bed is only a queen size

[KSM]

But you told me you couldn't sleep with me because my bed is only a queen size

Speaking of beds, we're going shopping for a new bedroom set this afternoon and we're thinking something Grande! @Bart Ell What is the difference between a King size and a Cali-King Size bed?

A REAL ASK. You're welcome. 

[TigerLily]

Speaking of beds, we're going shopping for a new bedroom set this afternoon and we're thinking something Grande! @Bart Ell What is the difference between a King size and a Cali-King Size bed?

A REAL ASK. You're welcome. 

California Kings are bigger. You're in the land of real men now

[KSM]

California Kings are bigger. You're in the land of real men now

Real men? Like the low frequency sissies I've seen around here in Everett? Please. If I handed these clowns an axe they'd chop their lil dicks off.

Thanks for the bed info.  LOL "real men" she says..

[TigerLily]

Real men? Like the low frequency sissies I've seen around here in Everett? Please. If I handed these clowns an axe they'd chop their lil dicks off.

Thanks for the bed info.  LOL "real men" she says..

Haven't you seen all the big logging trucks? Maybe you need to go further south to see the really big logs. Like California Kings

Uhh.. How many Everett dicks have you seen already?

[KSM]

Haven't you seen all the big logging trucks? Maybe you need to go further south to see the really big logs. Like California Kings

Uhh.. How many Everett dicks have you seen already?

You're preoccupied with "Big Logs"  Don't go looking into the toilet after the logger does his business.

[Bart Ell]

Speaking of beds, we're going shopping for a new bedroom set this afternoon and we're thinking something Grande! @Bart Ell What is the difference between a King size and a Cali-King Size bed?

A REAL ASK. You're welcome. 

California Kings are longer, real kings have more girth.

We got the regular king and my feets have not had a place to call home ever since.

[TigerLily]

Dear Bartinormous

Just how tall are you? In American