Ask Bart Anything

[Bart Ell]

Dear Bart,

Just how far does your #Legacy empire extend.  Just pulled this Ad - looks like you are into Real Estate now?

Real Legacy
Real Estate
#NoSquatting

[sean92008]

My intrigue is waning............   Looks like I can pick up a 6 for about $12 here locally.  Seems pricey for swill.................

That's not a bad price for a weight loss beer... Vomiting and a case of dysentery and take a good 10 pounds off of you very quickly. 😁

[Nawnie]

Dear Bart,

Heather advertised a live show October 1st at 12am Eastern.  Since that was over 12 hours ago does that mean she has already quit?

[Bart Ell]

Dear Bart,

Heather advertised a live show October 1st at 12am Eastern.  Since that was over 12 hours ago does that mean she has already quit?

Yes it does.

[Aldous Burbank]

Dear Bart,

I am driving around Canada and am very confusicated. Why do the green traffic lights blink?  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

[Bart Ell]

Dear Bart,

I am driving around Canada and am very confusicated. Why do the green traffic lights blink?  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

You can turn left

[Aldous Burbank]

So... I can't turn right?

[Bart Ell]

So... I can't turn right?

Not without a permission slip.

[Aldous Burbank]

Not without a permission slip.

Thanks for clearing that up. I think I'll just go straight.

[whoozit]

Bart, I came down with mono 3 weeks ago.  Could this be related to my hobby of licking toilet seats in public restrooms?  My Dr. wouldn’t answer this question and I need to know.

[Bart Ell]

Bart, I came down with mono 3 weeks ago.  Could this be related to my hobby of licking toilet seats in public restrooms?  My Dr. wouldn’t answer this question and I need to know.

Nope, it's the dirty hookers.

[albrecht]

Nope, it's the dirty hookers.

Yep. Watch out for the ones who want to kiss.

[whoozit]

Nope, it's the dirty hookers.

You are the penicillin of questions.

[Kidnostad]

Dear Bart,

While working with Gorilla Glue today I inadvertantly glued my finger to my mustache.  Is there any way of ungluing it or will I have to shave it and walk around with half a mustache until the shaved half grows in?

[Bart Ell]

Dear Bart,

While working with Gorilla Glue today I inadvertantly glued my finger to my mustache.  Is there any way of ungluing it or will I have to shave it and walk around with half a mustache until the shaved half grows in?

Just keep the finger there until it grows enough for you to cut under the finger and still have your full Magnum P.I. stache.
PS- Gorillas have the smallest dicks of all the primates.