Author Topic: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says  (Read 11299 times)

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Sofia

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #300 on: May 22, 2019, 02:56:36 AM »
Today FIL was sleeping in the yard in a low lawn chair and Louie came up to him and pissed on him and louie just strutted away like he had no care in the world
Lol.  They are an interesting match.  Is the court stuff winding down?  GD had to do community service for her trespass/civil disobedience.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #301 on: May 30, 2019, 07:35:08 PM »
Well today was FIL's court date,, the case was dismissed because the other guy never showed up, you would figure that he would of been happy and want to get the out of that place but oh noo , not him he wanted to stay and watch the other court cases.  On the way to records his lawyer asked him now that the case is dismissed he just wanted to know how he broke a mans nose with a pelvic thrust,, FIL replied in typical FIL fashion, I always wear a cup and knocked himself in the groin so the lawyer could hear the knocking,, he just laughed and shook his head and said, just as well, I did not think a 35 year old man would want to be known as the man who was dry humped and had his nose broken by a 70 year old.  My father once told me that Buddha looks after little kids, pets and old people and it must be true because if it was anyone else they would of been locked up.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

Sofia

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #302 on: May 30, 2019, 08:33:04 PM »
Well today was FIL's court date,, the case was dismissed because the other guy never showed up, you would figure that he would of been happy and want to get the out of that place but oh noo , not him he wanted to stay and watch the other court cases.  On the way to records his lawyer asked him now that the case is dismissed he just wanted to know how he broke a mans nose with a pelvic thrust,, FIL replied in typical FIL fashion, I always wear a cup and knocked himself in the groin so the lawyer could hear the knocking,, he just laughed and shook his head and said, just as well, I did not think a 35 year old man would want to be known as the man who was dry humped and had his nose broken by a 70 year old.  My father once told me that Buddha looks after little kids, pets and old people and it must be true because if it was anyone else they would of been locked up.
Wow, he lucked out!  Kinda smart too.

paladin1991

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #303 on: May 31, 2019, 10:49:41 PM »
Wow, he lucked out!  Kinda smart too.
Sofia, what kind of cup do you think he wears?  Coffee cup?

Sofia

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #304 on: June 11, 2019, 01:10:40 AM »
Sofia, what kind of cup do you think he wears?  Coffee cup?
Decaf.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #305 on: July 04, 2019, 05:08:22 PM »
Well today we found out that FIL took Deandre to the DMV to get his drivers license except he took him for the motor cycle test.  OK, the funny part was he said DeAndre was as nervous as a fat dog at a Korean BBQ but passed the test using FIL's 1949 Harley,,although we are pissed at the drivers test the FAT DOG AT A KOREAN BBQ made me laugh.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

Sofia

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #306 on: July 06, 2019, 02:34:44 AM »
Well today we found out that FIL took Deandre to the DMV to get his drivers license except he took him for the motor cycle test.  OK, the funny part was he said DeAndre was as nervous as a fat dog at a Korean BBQ but passed the test using FIL's 1949 Harley,,although we are pissed at the drivers test the FAT DOG AT A KOREAN BBQ made me laugh.
That's great that he passed!

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #307 on: July 19, 2019, 10:58:08 PM »
Well another day and another FIL experience,, Today Hubby got a call from Cassie that Grandpa was going to shoot the Police or the Police was going to shoot Grand Pa,,too make a long story short, the Town of Mt. Pleasant came to FIL's garage/forge (as he likes to call it) about some teenagers riding dirt bikes,, everything was fine until one of the Officers asked FIL if he could hand over his gun (FIUL always carries a M1911 full metal jacket and not those wimpy wad cutters as he likes to say) 
Fil said no, I don't think so and the Offices said it is for your protection as well as mine and FIL said well this is for my protection and not yours, FIL told the Office that he knew nothing or saw or heard and dirt bikes and said if that is all, I got work to do and went back to beating on metal,,,within 5 minutes 3 more Police cars arrived and now there are 8 Officers and FIl tells them unless you have a yWarrant don't open my gate, you are being video taped with sound AND DATE TIME STAMP,,now the Police want to see his CCP (concealed carry permit) and so FIL replied I don't need no fuc@ing CCP, it is not concealed and this is my property and I can open carry and as a matter of fact, your jurisdiction ends at that road (Hwy17) and you have nothing to do down here and you need to call ther Sheriff (which is true because Fils property is just outside the Town of Mount Pleasant and any 911 calls go to the Sheriff as well as fire and emergency, just on the back side of our property, he even has a dirrerent electric and water company and we are just a few yards away)  OK, so now the cops are made fools of and no cop wants to be made the fool so now they are profiling and FIL said, if you cross this gate I will sue you and the town for money to just wipe my ass with,, 20 minutes later a SGT and a Sheriff's Deputy arrived and talked amoungst them selves, the town cops left and the Sheriff's Deputy apologized and told FIL, next time don't be an ass and FiL replied why is protecting and enforceing my rights being an ass, according to DeAndre the Deputy jush shook his head and said next time just give me a call.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

Rikki Gins

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #308 on: July 20, 2019, 12:11:47 AM »
Well another day and another FIL experience...

Good for your FIL!


paladin1991

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #309 on: July 20, 2019, 09:04:43 PM »
Well another day and another FIL experience,, Today Hubby got a call from Cassie that Grandpa was going to shoot the Police or the Police was going to shoot Grand Pa,,too make a long story short, the Town of Mt. Pleasant came to FIL's garage/forge (as he likes to call it) about some teenagers riding dirt bikes,, everything was fine until one of the Officers asked FIL if he could hand over his gun (FIUL always carries a M1911 full metal jacket and not those wimpy wad cutters as he likes to say) 
Fil said no, I don't think so and the Offices said it is for your protection as well as mine and FIL said well this is for my protection and not yours, FIL told the Office that he knew nothing or saw or heard and dirt bikes and said if that is all, I got work to do and went back to beating on metal,,,within 5 minutes 3 more Police cars arrived and now there are 8 Officers and FIl tells them unless you have a yWarrant don't open my gate, you are being video taped with sound AND DATE TIME STAMP,,now the Police want to see his CCP (concealed carry permit) and so FIL replied I don't need no fuc@ing CCP, it is not concealed and this is my property and I can open carry and as a matter of fact, your jurisdiction ends at that road (Hwy17) and you have nothing to do down here and you need to call ther Sheriff (which is true because Fils property is just outside the Town of Mount Pleasant and any 911 calls go to the Sheriff as well as fire and emergency, just on the back side of our property, he even has a dirrerent electric and water company and we are just a few yards away)  OK, so now the cops are made fools of and no cop wants to be made the fool so now they are profiling and FIL said, if you cross this gate I will sue you and the town for money to just wipe my ass with,, 20 minutes later a SGT and a Sheriff's Deputy arrived and talked amoungst them selves, the town cops left and the Sheriff's Deputy apologized and told FIL, next time don't be an ass and FiL replied why is protecting and enforceing my rights being an ass, according to DeAndre the Deputy jush shook his head and said next time just give me a call.
FIL is right.  Fuck the police!  Fight the power!

Sofia

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #310 on: July 24, 2019, 12:01:32 PM »
Well another day and another FIL experience,, Today Hubby got a call from Cassie that Grandpa was going to shoot the Police or the Police was going to shoot Grand Pa,,too make a long story short, the Town of Mt. Pleasant came to FIL's garage/forge (as he likes to call it) about some teenagers riding dirt bikes,, everything was fine until one of the Officers asked FIL if he could hand over his gun (FIUL always carries a M1911 full metal jacket and not those wimpy wad cutters as he likes to say) 
Fil said no, I don't think so and the Offices said it is for your protection as well as mine and FIL said well this is for my protection and not yours, FIL told the Office that he knew nothing or saw or heard and dirt bikes and said if that is all, I got work to do and went back to beating on metal,,,within 5 minutes 3 more Police cars arrived and now there are 8 Officers and FIl tells them unless you have a yWarrant don't open my gate, you are being video taped with sound AND DATE TIME STAMP,,now the Police want to see his CCP (concealed carry permit) and so FIL replied I don't need no fuc@ing CCP, it is not concealed and this is my property and I can open carry and as a matter of fact, your jurisdiction ends at that road (Hwy17) and you have nothing to do down here and you need to call ther Sheriff (which is true because Fils property is just outside the Town of Mount Pleasant and any 911 calls go to the Sheriff as well as fire and emergency, just on the back side of our property, he even has a dirrerent electric and water company and we are just a few yards away)  OK, so now the cops are made fools of and no cop wants to be made the fool so now they are profiling and FIL said, if you cross this gate I will sue you and the town for money to just wipe my ass with,, 20 minutes later a SGT and a Sheriff's Deputy arrived and talked amoungst them selves, the town cops left and the Sheriff's Deputy apologized and told FIL, next time don't be an ass and FiL replied why is protecting and enforceing my rights being an ass, according to DeAndre the Deputy jush shook his head and said next time just give me a call.
Wow, Astro B.  You and he should get on two extension land lines and give a call into Coast to Coast AM on open lines.  This is great.  He handled himself really well.  What an impressive story.

One time, a man was on his own property.  He told noxious weed control to get off his property.  They wouldn't go, were being asses.  He kept telling them to get out; he maintains against his own noxious weeds.  Well, the agent came back and the land owner pointed a gun.  He didn't expect a deputy to be will the weed agent.  He told them to leave.  They didn't.  The deputy murdered the land owner on the spot, because he lifted his gun.  So, a middle-aged American father who works in aerospace full time was murdered by a deputy on his own porch for brandishing a gun at an idiot from noxious weed control who was trespassing and wouldn't leave.  There never was justice for this man.  Last I heard, the noxious weed ass didn't even lose his job.  For years.  I'm proud of your father-in-law and glad he didn't get hurt.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #311 on: July 25, 2019, 06:56:44 PM »
Today my son came to and told me that FIL told him that if he does not leave him alone (wanting to use FIL's  motorcycle) he is going to stick his hand so far up his (my son) ass that his shitty hand will come out his mouth and slap him in the face with his own shit and on the way back down, grab his tongue and pull it back out thru his ass and tie it in a knot.   Thank God I have a poor imagination.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

paladin1991

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #312 on: July 26, 2019, 12:28:56 AM »
Today my son came to and told me that FIL told him that if he does not leave him alone (wanting to use FIL's  motorcycle) he is going to stick his hand so far up his (my son) ass that his shitty hand will come out his mouth and slap him in the face with his own shit and on the way back down, grab his tongue and pull it back out thru his ass and tie it in a knot.   Thank God I have a poor imagination.
Your Avatar keeps eye fucking me.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #313 on: July 26, 2019, 04:11:58 PM »
Your Avatar keeps eye fucking me.
So you have an Asian fetish,, no problem, most men do, thats how I hooked the one I got now.  My Grand mother who is still alive could kill you with a knife thrust in your heart and slit your throat all with two movements within a second,, that is why FIL respects them and never has a bad thing to say about them,, me on the other hand I can not do either, just cower and wait for the Police or Duck dodgers and the 21st and 1/2 century to save me.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #314 on: July 30, 2019, 06:57:57 PM »
Funny thing today while watching Shark Movies because it is Shark week,, Cassie and DeAndre were watching one of the Sharknados, the one with the Chippendales Guys and at the part where the shark are attacking one of the chippendales groin thrusts a flying shark and Cassie said "Look he stole grand Pa's move",, it was so funny

Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.