Poll

This is a real scenario.  Regarding the salutation, "Have a nice day", GD believes

It is polite.
0 (0%)
It is too commanding.
0 (0%)
It is juvenile.
0 (0%)
No one actually means it.
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

Voting closed: January 28, 2019, 01:49:27 AM

Author Topic: Living With Grandma's Daughter  (Read 3426 times)

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Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #60 on: January 07, 2019, 06:13:17 PM »
Rave:  I got to meet a very shy cat at work that has been hiding!  She looks great.  Everyone is worried because she stopped eating after vomiting, but she was radiant and it was fantastic to meet her.

Also got a big compliment on a salad I made.  90-year old lady reaches out, grabs my forearm like she's going to do karate to me, tried to crush my arm and said, "Thank you for the salad!"  Almost made me cry.  From pride, not her crushing grip.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #61 on: January 08, 2019, 08:11:48 PM »
You got to love those old people, the ones who don't think that the world owes them everything because they are old
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Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #62 on: January 08, 2019, 11:48:06 PM »
You got to love those old people, the ones who don't think that the world owes them everything because they are old
For sure.  Their parents survived the Depression.  They are, like, survivors of the survivors of the Depression.  So, we wash and save eggshells, and compost coffee grounds.  Every day.

Speaking of the old days, tonight George Noory said, "I am not a booster of (whatever)" ?  Reminds me of 1974 and our school's "Booster Club" and Denny's booster seats for toddlers!  Quaint!

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #63 on: January 10, 2019, 07:40:49 PM »
It has been a real balance of not giving her any ammo, yet disclosing enough so that she gains confidence in me.  I must have found the balance of how much to say to her, because there have been several victories lately.  I got a reluctant "thank you" out of her, an accusation was swiftly shot down, and I was vindicated after another false accusation.  She also got a glimpse of how I accommodate her, which she hadn't known previously.  Hearing her response was really great.  I don't need her approval necessarily, but we do need to get along!  Pretty big baby steps are happening.  And, she has asked for help a couple times - thaaaaat's new.  Maybe she's in covert counseling or something.

Today she asked me to organize her spices which are on racks on the back of a door.  I love doing stuff like that.  I had really cute labels and supplies, & it went fast and easy.  I decided to use topical categories of:
1. Overstock, rose petals and containers (up high)
2. Savory spices which cook inside food (like mustard)
3. Savory spices which are sprinkled on food (like dill)
4  Sweet stuff (like cinnamon)
5. Unconventional spices (like cumin)
6. Large containers and Tea

It was so much fun.  It started out a big mess, so I am surprised at how few categories were actually needed, how little consolidation was needed, and how quickly the organizing went.   I labeled/decorated with a natural fiber look which came out nice & she will like.

Nice to do something fun.  I also fashioned a bird feeder outside my window, and filled it.  Can't wait to see if birds come.  I hope they see it.  I hope my cat sees them! 

It's been almost 6 months here.  GD has only been seen in public once with me.  Ice Hotel, here.  I almost thought Ariel Castro was a warmer person, but that can't be right.

Hours are picking up, for now.  She'll be glad about that.  I can't count on GD to feed the cat, but a couple days ago, she asked me how to put cat's harness on and showed an interest in feeding her more.

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #64 on: January 16, 2019, 01:59:13 AM »
I showed up at work, at my patient's home.  The client is in hospice, meaning people expect her to die (but she could recover).  We are helping someone die, so a certain demeanor is required.

Anyhow, a new co-worker showed up.  Not sure how she passed the background check.  She plopped a couple large flour tortillas directly on the client's range burners and hand turned them until they were a little blackened.  And so were the burners.  And so was the air!  And that was just her intro.

Her car was totally blocking the driveway because of a bad parking job.  She commented that she had no time to make lunch, so she just pulled stuff out of her refrigerator.  I guess we've all been there, but in hospice I don't think unpreparedness is a bragging point.

When I arrived, she had tranquilized the patient for being restless.  I'm concerned the patient has no ambulation plan.  Of course she was restless.  And the tranquilizer side effects were not mitigated by additional medicine so the patient drooled, smacked her tongue and lips uncontrollably and had a zombie expression for two hours.  The patient was strapped into her wheelchair (controversial to say the least) because she kept sliding forward out of it, probably because the wheelchair lacks leg rests. 

The coworker was painting her long nails blood red at the client's kitchen table.  The client was sitting right there, as the coworker talked about gangster (seriously) boyfriend and her beliefs on late-life pre-marital sex.  She evaluated some of the men she has recently dated.  She took numerous smoke breaks.

She talked baby talk to the patient right up an inch from the patient's face like you might coo at a baby.  She recorded that the patient refused her antibiotic, but she had not actually offered the antibiotic.

Medicine was required by the service plan, but she wanted to call the company to ask if she should give it.  I guess hospice can be confusing, because many prescriptions are stopped.  This particular hospice was not well-documented by the higher-ups and the had been administrative conflict regarding some of it.

I was appalled in general, but it was a real mixed bag because she did a great job with several things, like making a sweet drink for the patient (who refuses to eat).  She got a self-starving woman to drink over 100 calories!  She was good at communicating with the patient about urination, trying to time bathroom trips well before bed. She was very physically able to help.  She was protective when the next shift handled the patient awkwardly.  She found a way to measure millilitres without any measuring cup at all, re-using a rinsed syringe.  She was informative to me and worked very hard and long.  So, she had lots of redeeming qualities.

I think I'll order leg rests, a measuring cup, side effect medicine and an ambulation plan.  But I don't know what to make of tortillas on raw burners, inappropriate conversation, baby talk, gang association, and blood red nail polish at the table.

I've had a lot of jobs, type of work and shifts.  This shift was one of the weirdest.  In the top ten for sure, maybe top five.

Hospice is often defined in certain unpleasant terms.  There is a mainstream hospice paradigm which I don't think is best, if for no other reason than it is so starkly administered that common sense is forgotten.  When I got home, I Googled HOMEOPATHIC HOSPICE and learned a lot.  I also learned that drooling and weird facial looks and movements were fixable side effects of the tranquilizer.  It was great to hear those symptoms can be avoided (by using ambulation instead of tranquilizers) and also fixed with additional medicine.

https://www.homeopathycenter.org/homeopathy-today/novemberdecember-2007/compassionate-care-end-life 

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #65 on: January 16, 2019, 02:05:41 AM »
GD is winding up. I always suspected depression, but now I wonder about manic-depression.  It's not that anything is inappropriate; it is just that she is doing it all at once!  Sudden shopping, socializing, gathering, sudden agitated phone calls, home improvements, family games, doctor appointments and sweeping decisions!  All in 3 days.

I will duck and cover when it all crashes again.  Crashing may mean not heating, sleeping all day, being aggressive...

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #66 on: January 17, 2019, 10:37:31 AM »
Still winding up.  Long, loud phone calls while people sleep.  Broken commitments.  Long days, big nights.  Waiting for the shoe to drop.

And, today is one of her bill-paying days today.  I'm not perfect either, but bill paying here is drama-ridden, and was for dad too when he was alive.  She requires the entire home to herself and has sent me packing on more than one bill-paying day.  Bizarre.  I don't know why she requires a whole house to pay bills.  She has a huge master bedroom with a huge table and chairs in it if she needs privacy.  It's not about privacy.  She just can't handle bill-paying.

I told her one idea is to read the bill when it comes in, put a stamp on the envelope or whatever, put the coupon in, and set it in a pile for payday.  Easy-peasy.  That way, if there are any discrepancies or problems, she has time to handle them as they come in, one phone call here, one phone call there.  A little frustration here and there, cleared up on the phone.  But, she has been trying to do a month's worth all in one or two days.  It looks like her bill paying habits are changing a little, she is accessing them more often.   But, I don't think she's getting the endorphin thing right.  You have to have a GOOD pile, a pile that is clarified, accurate, prepared and ready-to-pay on payday. 




Belles

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #67 on: January 18, 2019, 12:19:56 AM »
I heat flour tortillas on the stove burner.  I know several people who do.

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #68 on: January 19, 2019, 11:53:23 PM »
I heat flour tortillas on the stove burner.  I know several people who do.
Ok, thanks for the reality check.  I suppose a tiny bit could stick to the burner element from time to time.  Turning to char eventually.  And, crumbs would drop down.  You know, they should make a toaster for tortillas.

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #69 on: January 19, 2019, 11:55:34 PM »
Good news.  Power bill only went up a few dollars since I've been here.  That's amazing.  I think this proves electric blankets are economical.

GD was distraught earlier, mistakenly thinking the power bill had doubled.  But, it turns out it is the same as this time last year.  It only looked double because the power company had not credited her last payment.  Good news overall!

Sofia

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #70 on: January 20, 2019, 06:15:56 PM »
Knowing it could make me homeless and separate me from my longtime 19-year old cat, GD sat me down for a conversation about her plans to sell.  I just walked in from a long workday.  Nevermind I disclosed I am coping with mild oral angioedema .  No, those things are not important.  Nevermind the the first part is a matter of decency and the latter part is potentially fatal.

She actually sat for the conversation.  In a chair.  She, who rarely sits, preferring to stand barefoot indoors and outdoors, for hours, on hard surfaces including concrete and pavement... just after nearly being talked into foot surgery last week from foot strain.

She sat in a chair near me.  This conversation was not the usual shouting (sigh) from room to room over her Internet or TV.  This "conversation" must be important .  OKeeee.

Well, she began.  She owes X on the mortgage, is applying for a loan of X amount, and is going to sell the place for X.  Why is she telling me all this?  I am penniless and at her mercy. Reminds me of the times as a child when she asked me for advice on marriage and friendship!

I waited for the windup in her talk.  Just maybe, my longtime, elderly cat and I might be included in the plans.  She talked about what kind of dwelling, homes it might resemble, and how it has to be such and such.  She said she would like to buy a home large enough to rent out one level (getting my hopes up).  We discussed deadbolt doors and kitchenettes.  I waited, still there was a possibility I could be factored into this.  After all, I pay rent, do most of all the trouble shooting and manageable maintenance, provide supplies that aren't convenient for her to buy, provide security, and I do the housework.  Windows and all.

It turns out that the vacant half acre behind her in the mall parking area has a bidder, so construction might start soon.  Private planning meetings are happening. She doesn't need the money, but wants to sell her home before buyers realize they will have a new building going up adjacent to this lot behing a fence.  That's kind of deceptive and in light of the deception, a little greedy.  Like the time a realtor lied to me about potential flooding.  I'm pretty sure imminent new construction would be outlined in the paperwork, though.  The only way she could hide the pending construction is to do dual agency cahoots with the realtor.  Not sure how she will swing that.  I don't approve of dual agency realtors.  No one can truly represent opposing sets of interest properly.  Anyhow, no other realtor is going to fail to assess adjacent properties.  But I kept my opinions quiet. 

I don't see how anything I say could influence her not to sell.  But giving my opinions definitely could influence her to dig her heels in to sell, and make her even more devious to potential buyers.  So I refrained.  Even if a buyer does not find out about new construction, she is very worked up because the current bidder wants to build a 40 foot high franchise hotel, and she is agonising about potential noise from ventilation units on roofs.  She is hard of hearing.  Yet, we are already near ventilation units from one business, and she does not hear them when other people do.

Alas, it turns out that unfortunately, her plans do not include me, although she conceded she might help the cat.  She did mention that if her part of the new home ends up being a one bedroom it will not house me.  I guess that means I pray she finds a home with a nice two or three bedroom basement.  No one asked me, but I would love to live in a basement.  Point is, she probably won't include me and told me to find another place.

As she discussed the numbers, and was excited about potential profit, I mentioned I remember how nice it feels to sell a good home for a good price.  I had my day, too.  But the comment was not acknowledged.  After all, I am just a pauper and this is about her.  No nice visit down memory lane to cheer me up a little.  She didn't even give my pride that honor.  Why, oh why, was she telling me all her fancy numbers and stuff.  Like talking about her next steak dinner to a man with NO teeth.  R.U.D.E.

At one point, I quickly reminded her of my station, and of my large upcoming bills, as well as how unprofitable last year was.  I told her I am broke.  She should know.  She is the one eating out, paying for services and buying things, and going out for entertainment, not me.  The quick reminder of my situation did not sensitize her.  She was excited to share her privileged plans with me, regardless that it was rude.

She consulted with me about continuing to increase my work hours, conversation which was really deceptive, because she does a lot to sabotage me in that area.  And the only support I get is occassional driving directions if I'm lost or reluctantly feeding the cat if I'm gone a long time.

And after that, she wanted to eat.  She wanted to share her dinner of leftovers she admittedly overcooked, food which would give me angioedema.  She knew I already battled angioedema for the last three hours, a fact that fell on deaf ears.  "No thanks, I'm allergic.  I already pulled out of traffic today due to angioedema."  Of course she didn't ask if I have enough OTC.  She just proceeded to inquire if I thought her dinner looked salvageable.

That was all.  Telling me she wants to jeopardize my longtime elderly pet and make me potentially homeless within 6 months (or anything could happen) and then wanting to share company and share burned leftovers for dinner.  No.  Absolutely not!

GravitySucks

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #71 on: January 20, 2019, 07:48:24 PM »
Unless you specifically sign a contract with a buyer’s agent (in states that allow that) ALL realtors represent the seller. No matter what they say. The seller pays their commission. Doesn’t matter if they work for the same agency or not. They are going to talk the buyer into the highest possible offer. Their commission is based on selling price.
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Astro Bitch

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #72 on: January 21, 2019, 10:08:20 PM »
OK, I am confused which is not hard to do to me but, does she live with you or you live with her?
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

KSM

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #73 on: January 21, 2019, 11:42:12 PM »
OK, I am confused which is not hard to do to me but, does she live with you or you live with her?
@Astro Bitch They both cohabitate with some guy named Ted who likes to slam doors, not in a violent way but rather his extreme OCD. It's a crazy thing goin' on there but they make it work and they're happy. And they have a rooster! Cock-A-Doodle-Doooo!!!!

I don't know why you're so confused. ::)
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Astro Bitch

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Re: Living With Grandma's Daughter
« Reply #74 on: January 22, 2019, 12:00:19 AM »
@Astro Bitch They both cohabitate with some guy named Ted who likes to slam doors, not in a violent way but rather his extreme OCD. It's a crazy thing goin' on there but they make it work and they're happy. And they have a rooster! Cock-A-Doodle-Doooo!!!!

I don't know why you're so confused. ::)
I am glad my father-in-law does not read this or he would invite one of them to live with him,, that is just the way he is.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.