Proper grilled cheese you use sandwich bread buttered on the outside with the cheese in the inside and the bread comes out a combination of fried and toasted on both sides unlike oven-baked where the cheese tends to separate and make the top surface soggy. A frying pan with a weight flipped halfway through is the closest you can get without special equipment (griddle or panini grill or waffle iron with reversible plates)
No you fucking moron both sides of each piece of bread must be buttered inside
and out!!! Butter the insides first of course, and you then add the classic American cheddar slices to the middle.
The option of ham is there as well but it has to be packaged pre sliced! You can then proceed with buttering the outside by placing the sammich in a heated pan that already contains the generous amount of melted butter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be careful not burn or brown the butter so I suggest it is best that you know your heating source, it has sweet spots. Flip with a SPATULA and not a risky toss!
Seriously this needs its own thread.