Author Topic: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted  (Read 497 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« on: January 20, 2019, 02:29:57 AM »
Today we all farted at the same time. Weird!

damon

  • Hall Of Famer
  • Elluminati
  • ******
  • Posts: 1812
  • Karma: 398
  • gone flying
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2019, 05:02:50 AM »
Today we all farted at the same time. Weird!
That idea stinks @ksm32

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2019, 04:11:11 PM »
Damon, hows about a hunk o' lasagna?

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2019, 07:06:16 PM »
Today RG came home with a hooker. They were really loud and ruined the coffee table, it's completely trashed and we've no choice but to dispose of it. Ted and @Sofia suggested that we should just put in the neighbors back yard in the middle of the night but I was quick to point out that they have large mean looking dogs. Funny thing about those dogs, we never hear them bark but they sure look nasty. We're thinking of a movie night tonight but the hooker is still here and she's complaining of gas pains so I don't know. Think I might just stay in my room for the night and let things, blow, over. These pretzels are making me thirsty.


When I was a little girl I had a donkey but dad shot him and we had delicious soup. I miss you Barkley.  :'(

paladin1991

  • Nuthin Is Unpossible
  • Ellightened
  • *
  • Posts: 3614
  • Karma: 984
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2019, 11:49:22 PM »
Today RG came home with a hooker. They were really loud and ruined the coffee table, it's completely trashed and we've no choice but to dispose of it. Ted and @Sofia suggested that we should just put in the neighbors back yard in the middle of the night but I was quick to point out that they have large mean looking dogs. Funny thing about those dogs, we never hear them bark but they sure look nasty. We're thinking of a movie night tonight but the hooker is still here and she's complaining of gas pains so I don't know. Think I might just stay in my room for the night and let things, blow, over. These pretzels are making me thirsty.


When I was a little girl I had a donkey but dad shot him and we had delicious soup. I miss you Barkley.  :'(
;D ;D ;D ;D

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2019, 05:54:43 PM »
We're having squirrel tonight but there will no doubt be a long drawn out argument in the kitchen on how to prepare it. I much prefer steaming over baking or deep frying. There are some men working on the roof as we seem to have sprung a leak a few nights ago. I must say that some of them are rather attractive with their rippling muscles and jailbird tattoo's. We had cow tongue last night and there's no shortage of leftovers but we all agree for once that we felt like our food was, tasting us!  I have a cold sore on my toe but I love cotton candy.

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2019, 10:42:12 PM »
Ted ate too much ham tonight and got all horny demanding sex from all of us. At first we thought he was kidding but the following 30 minutes would result in me stabbing him in the bum with a corkscrew, Sofia tackling him at like neck height as GM cut off one of his (Teds) fingers with a pair of needle nose plyers. This little episode ruined everything because it was his birthday and we all chipped in and bought him a plastic straw and I don't mean one of the flimsy ones but rather a real firm and sturdy one. Ted, is a first class jerk but we love him for some reason. The men on the roof are still up there and now it's day four! They haven't stopped and have been roofing 24/7. It's only a 4 by 6 FT area that needed fixing and there are 21 of them up there but I'm starting to suspect that they're peeing in the leak rather than fixing it ???  We're going to make them some soup tomorrow for all their hard work. We really appreciate them.  That's pretty much it for today and I want to play my drums now.

sumethinz new

  • KDWN
  • ***
  • Posts: 162
  • Karma: 39
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2019, 03:57:32 AM »
Ted sounds like a real pistol, which puts me in a certain mood. Perhaps, had I brushed my teeth more I could have had a chance with someone such as him/her....not really sure how sweet Pat identified. Oh well, there's someone (or even many) for everyone out there and always a next time. Do you think Ted might invite the laborers with all them sexy jailhouse tattoos over for some opossum? Could be interesting

StarrMountain

  • Purps
  • Elluminati
  • ******
  • Posts: 1465
  • Karma: 298
  • Honorable Cat Lady and Member Of Art's Tarts.
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2019, 05:20:20 AM »
We're having squirrel tonight but there will no doubt be a long drawn out argument in the kitchen on how to prepare it. I much prefer steaming over baking or deep frying. There are some men working on the roof as we seem to have sprung a leak a few nights ago. I must say that some of them are rather attractive with their rippling muscles and jailbird tattoo's. We had cow tongue last night and there's no shortage of leftovers but we all agree for once that we felt like our food was, tasting us!  I have a cold sore on my toe but I love cotton candy.
Argument over squirrel prep??  Ya brine it first.  No brainier.   What's the matter with you?  Have you lost your sense of wilderness??  Ya trap about 5 to 8 of those little suckers, kill 'em, skin and gut 'em, throw them there carcasses in a brine mix (using Kosher Salt).  Next day, slow roast, or grill them for a couple of hours, basting periodically with your fave sauce, then, wha-lah!  Yum! ;D
I can't believe I'm having to tell you this. ::)
The Greatest Power, Is Love.

sumethinz new

  • KDWN
  • ***
  • Posts: 162
  • Karma: 39
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2019, 02:05:31 PM »
Argument over squirrel prep??  Ya brine it first.  No brainier.   What's the matter with you?  Have you lost your sense of wilderness??  Ya trap about 5 to 8 of those little suckers, kill 'em, skin and gut 'em, throw them there carcasses in a brine mix (using Kosher Salt).  Next day, slow roast, or grill them for a couple of hours, basting periodically with your fave sauce, then, wha-lah!  Yum! ;D
I can't believe I'm having to tell you this. ::)

Also, these fuckers with the perfectly quaffed hair in the news who recommend against it don't know anything about  good squirrel, or certainly anything  about how to cook the brain...these guys don't eat nothing but bean sprouts and sip their miso soup with a little pinky in the air; don't listen to them. Just scramble up some brain mixed in with some eggs. I like mine with a bit of red-eye gravy on top with a nice hot sauce. Good eating. Gotta be fresh though unless you're looking to clean out your colon

Sofia

  • Elluminati
  • ******
  • Posts: 1648
  • Karma: 66
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2019, 12:08:54 AM »
Clarification:  This thread is not associated with Sofia nor anyone she knows.  Someone else wrote it.  Grandma's Daughter (GD) never had a former roommate.  She lived alone from 1987 to 2018, although for a little while she had an international student.

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2019, 05:39:07 PM »
Clarification:  This thread is not associated with Sofia nor anyone she knows.  Someone else wrote it.  Grandma's Daughter (GD) never had a former roommate.  She lived alone from 1987 to 2018, although for a little while she had an international student.
Ahh.. Nice try, Sunshine.  Are we still having beaver tonight? BTW I've fluffed your pillows for you, just the way you like them. :)

KSM32

  • Lord Of Anal Ring Toss
  • Drone Pilot
  • *****
  • Posts: 778
  • Karma: 275
  • [Kiss] [Kill]
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2019, 08:37:12 PM »
We slammed doors all over the house for about 90 minutes give or take to see whether or not we could audibly disern solid wood doors from hollow panel doors.  Finally things are quieting down now and we can eventually get to our bible studies.  I sure like ham but I'm going to buy a new rake for the deck. Some light engine oil too.




                                   d

Sofia

  • Elluminati
  • ******
  • Posts: 1648
  • Karma: 66
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2019, 01:14:21 AM »
A solid wood handled rake or a rake with a hollow metal handle?  You forgot to capitalize Bible. 

Sofia

  • Elluminati
  • ******
  • Posts: 1648
  • Karma: 66
Re: Living with Sofia & Grandma's daughters former roomate, Ted
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2019, 01:18:20 AM »
Ted sounds like a real pistol, which puts me in a certain mood. Perhaps, had I brushed my teeth more I could have had a chance with someone such as him/her....not really sure how sweet Pat identified. Oh well, there's someone (or even many) for everyone out there and always a next time. Do you think Ted might invite the laborers with all them sexy jailhouse tattoos over for some opossum? Could be interesting
Pat, who?  We don't have a Pat here.