Patooey, sonny boy, Onan wishes he were me. Even CptBart finds me both awesome and intimidating which is why he fears my looming Elluminati status. I do have roots in the old country tho and I have no desire to stir shit up with the legacy squatter. When I want to fight with her I'll call her show and do it but I don't want her taking a shot at me unless I'm on the phone with her. I learned from Dynamo, I don't need that problem myself.
For only 49.99 (plus tax) I can give you the secrets of a successful call to Heather Wade the Legacy of Drama!
Your badly photocopied info pack will include:
- Best accent to use
- Which software to use to record the call so you can hear who hung up first
- Trigger phrases she hates
- Timing of your call
- Topics likely to induce meltdown status
And SO SO SO much more!