Stop right there. How do I get one of these people?
OK, this is how you get a free cheese burger from a stalker. Change your name to Heather, dye your hair blonde, wear leather outfits, dance in a gentlemen's club, lots of tattoos, lock men up in your bedroom for hours, hang out with a motorcycle club, have a huge nude painting of yourself in your living room, throw your coffee and cake out the second floor window, stab a man in a crowded downtown bar, curse at your mother 3 times a week and adopt a dog who hate you. Just a few suggestions for you.