Thank you everyone. I love and appreciate each and every one of you. I bookmarked these last few pages becuase, I think I'll need to see these posts again in the future. I truly love you all.
I'm sorry. I just get into a really dark place and I don't know what to do. The combination between my stress and my past and lack of ability to effectively cope take over. I thought I was past this. No, I'm not self harming or self medicating or anything, which is why I say don't worry. I just laid in bed and cried or slept, I completely shut down for, I guess a full day I lost from this. Now I'm just ashamed that it happened at all. I'm cleaning and playing video games and reading Ellgab today, Im taking it easy this weekend and will begin working again on Monday. It's not just the job, it's all aspects of my life that are just painful to me right now, or at least that's how I'm taking it. My life isn't even bad, I'm just so freaked out I'm going to lose everything and go back to living in hell that fear grips me and drags me down to a very horrible place. It's exhausting, and despite not moving much at all in the last day, I'm exhausted.
Dear Lucky Star , Do not be ashamed. I am sure a lot of us have had breakdowns, in fact I had a complete breakdown about a month ago. I am doing much better now thanks to medication good friends and love. But it’s not about me just wanted you to know that you can make it. One thing I’ve found that helps is to feel your feelings and actually go through them. Do not deny them like I have done in the past. I thought I was some over something that happened 35 years ago and it came back to haunt me. It’s simply because I did not deal with the feelings at the time I push them away. So I guess what I’m saying is go through it you have to go through the storm , You cannot fly above the storm I fly below the storm is simply must go through the storm and allow your feelings to come through they are valid but when she feels horrible feelings and get them out you can MoveOn I don’t know if that makes sense but I don’t know you but I do care about you . Please excuse the mistakes I am talk texting, damn Siri should change your name to sorry
