Oh baby. There was one Prof that was such a mega dick. Wish you had put that bug in my ear at the time.
For some reason the scenario I was imagining was sort of a combination; "Back to School" but with you as real student but having a mob dude following you around: "leaning on" professors, throwing bills down to T.A.'s grading papers, paying off a cute co-ed's book purchases at the CO-OP on your demand, etc.