Red Heat UpdateSo when we last left our story, Hillbilly Jim and Poopy Drawers were sent on a desperate mission deep into Louisiana to see if they could encourage a disgruntled customer to displace the bullies from California's product with ours. It seemed like a far fetched idea but it worked. Chalk one up for the good guys! Sadly, the big tropical storm meant that they had to boogie on out of there without a chance to poke around any. Too damn bad, as the prospect of Hillbilly Jim with Poopy Drawers in tow, cruising around Bourbon Street would have been fascinating to say the least.
Meanwhile, back at the Ranch.
We picked up a few refugees in our group that came from a product that was cancelled. One of them is an Asian lady, probably in her 40's. Attractive in her own way but with a twist. Little A (the build man) gave me the skinny: "I worked with that chick before - check her out. They called her
Hot Wheels over there". I must say that I can see why - she sports one hell of a set of legs. Remember that old commercial "Nothing beats a great pair of legs"? I've never thought about it much but they definitely had a good point there. These gams are outta sight. Of course she knows it all too well.
Hot Wheels wears a skirt every day, along with a pair of heels. The desks in our new area raise up [in our old cube desks, when your legs got stiff, you just walked around a bit to get the blood flowing. Now with these, you can raise your desk up and stretch your legs while still working. Clever bastards, those White Shoe Boys, eh?) and
Hot Wheels seems to rather enjoy standing in her heels while working.
Red Heat has definitely taken notice and a sort of weird High Heels arms race has started. "I'll see your three inchers and raise you a half inch". Every few days, the heels get just a bit higher and the skirts just a little bit tighter. Sadly, I am still parked directly across from the Chicken Lady, whom has developed a disturbing habit of muttering to herself during the day.
Also got a bit drunk after work one night this week. That rarely happens. Hey. I'm a fat, German dude from Detroit. I know my way around a beer can - but drunk? Naw.
Special circumstances - had a reunion with some former co-workers. It's a bit complicated. We used to work for a company but got sold to a different company that got rid of all of us. Then some of us went to my current company where others went to a different company but then my current company merged with said different company. Got it? We met at one of those little breweries that has outside seating and Hillbilly Jim brought along some of his hooch to "sweeten up" our beers. Hoo boy. That stuff is almost burn out your optic nerve strong. Didn't take long before we were all rather hammered. I had to call Mrs. Walks and she had to come get me. One more big black minus in the ledger of married life. Happily, I fixed the toilet that wouldn't flush today so I got a plus to help balance it out.
During the reunion gathering he had quite the bullshitting session - which is a lot of fun. We talked about the present and the future but we also remembered the past. One of the tales from days gone by was the curious case of Mister Ming. Back when we were at the original company, we sold off a product to a company based in Taiwan. They sent over a guy to come get trained up on the technology. He shows up in our Lab one day and says "Hello. I am Mister Ming and am here to learn about the Uniblab 6000". Dude calls himself 'Mister Ming' - What's up with that? However, he seemed okay - good man, bright guy. Just a little paranoid..............
One Monday morning he doesn't show up. Doesn't show up on Tuesday or Wednesday either. On Thursday his company in Taiwan realizes that he has missed some meetings and hey start asking about him. Suddenly there is a flurry of concern. "Where is Mister Ming?" "Hey - have you seen Mister Ming?" "Mister Ming. Paging Mister Ming" Nothing. Gone. We are Mister Mingless........ Even though we don't really have any responsibility for him things are dicey. A few calls are made. One to the Extended Stay joint he was staying at "Nah. We haven't seen that guy in days". Local hospitals - "Nope. No Mister Ming here". Coppers - "Nope. He's not in the clink, we never heard of him but we'll keep an eye out for him". Friday rolls around and Mister Ming staggers in - he looks awful. Dirty, covered in bug bites and he doesn't smell so good either. "Mister Ming - is errmmmmm. Everything okay?" No response. We get a Chinese guy to ask him the same in Mandarin. Nothing. Mister Ming gets all agitated and legs it out the building. Zoom. Bam. Gone................
Monday comes and we are working in a way in the Lab, when the Lab Phone rings. "Hello. This is TSA Officer Poppinjay over at RDU airport. We have a Taiwan national here that calls himself Mister Ming. We found this phone number on his person. He claims the CIA is trying to kill him and that he has been living in the woods for many days. He wants to go home but has no ticket. Does anyone there have any information about this 'Mister Ming'?" They finally got him cleaned up and shipped back to Taipei and his company there said they would get him some help.
It was never a dull moment at that place. This
Red Heat business is tame stuff in comparison.
