The Kingdom of Nyet with Heather Wade

[Pizzapunch]

Merry Kolbymas, 1 year ago today,  Kolby died and returned.  Some highlights from that day
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[sean92008]

So, why would they vacate so quickly if they thought she was dead... Were they the ones that tried to kill her?

Poor baby.  With Diana as a mother and Kolby as grandma, Cody as dad...  I hope there's some real love there and that love compensates for a lot.  Of course, when you have to have a court intervene that early in life, the deck is already stacked.

[Jayzelady]

When I saw HJ, I didn't think Hillbilly Jim.

Argh!

Boyz will be boyz.....sigh. 😁😃😆

[Jayzelady]

Jayze,  what are you wanting from the way back machine?  The banishment from the swanky Christmas parties? Or the best of Hillbilly Jim?

All of the above but swanky party banishment first. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[sean92008]

Boyz will be boyz.....sigh. 😁😃😆

Awful, huh?

[AngiefromNJ]

Good morning People!!! I hope yall have a great day!!!

[Bluejay]

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[Journey]

                                                Red Update


As I could never really take any vacation through out the year I've had to use it all at the end of the year.  I'm off until after New Years  so this probably will be the last update of the year.

I've received some pings regarding Hillbilly Jim and the brawl down at the sex store.  It is rather a seamy tale so a skip ahead is highly advisable but for the curious or those made of sterner stuff, I'll need to lay some background.  Time to introduce a new character - we'll call her Old Reliable.   Old Reliable is a middle aged woman from the Philippines that the Hillbilly met online.  There are many attractive Filipina's but from the photos that Jim has shared with me, Old Reliable is not among them.  I think a bag of Russet Spuds has a better figure but it is of no consequence as she has a soft spot for the Hillbilly.  They had a fling a number of years ago and after Jim used her for his purposes, the bridge was not quite burned as is his standard M.O.  What was the name of that movie?  She's Gotta Have It That's it.  Well it seems like that must be her favorite because the way the Hillbilly talks it seems like she is as freaky as he is.   So in the rare times that he hits a dry spell, Old Reliable is always there to service him. 

Awhile back, Old Reliable called Jim up and asked him to take her to the sex store.  It would seem that the motor in her artificial penis conked out and she needed a replacement and was too embarrassed to go solo.  Now the smelt have been running for Jim so there would be no num-nums for Old Reliable but Jim was like "Sex store?  Hells yeah.   Let's do it".  As they were walking into the store (called Frisky Business - it could have not been anything else) the young Vietnamese college chick that the Hillbilly booted out of the hotel room in Finland just happened to be walking out.  Apparently, she had a conniption and started calling Jim terrible things - probably rightfully so.   However, Old Reliable started mouthing off and before long there was a good old-fashioned, Mother loving, hair ripping,  poking in the eyeball, girl fight.  Right there in the sex store parking lot.   Nice, eh?  Got so bad that the coppers had swing by and threaten the brawling Asians with a visit to the Raleigh Hilton.  That did the trick and apparently Old Reliable was eventually able to purchase that which was needed albeit without some clumps of hair. 

Over Thanksgiving, Hillbilly did get over to Dubai and met up with Prakash.  It seems like Kash is doing as well as can be expected.  Details are still hazy but I did learn that one has not lived until you have have gotten jiggy with a Hotel maid, with an Indian dude in the closet biting on a towel.  There is some gusto that I am quite grateful that I've never grabbed and that is just another one for that list.

The Hillbilly will be headed back out of the country soon as he will be off to Ho Chi Minh City to visit the beauty Queen he has been hot and heavy with online.  She is quite stunning and obviously is trying to scam Jim.  Poor thing.  She selected her mark poorly.  No cash.  No handbags.  No jewels.  No green card.  No nothing. Best she can hope for is to end up not sharing any of the Hillbilly's diseases. 

The fashion wars between Red Heat and Hot Wheels are sadly on hold.  Strangely enough, as soon as the temperatures dropped here in Dixie, Red Heat disappointingly  pretty much threw in the towel.   She was wears all these heavy clothes to keep warm. 
A bitter pill indeed - was hoping for some sort of hot fur outfits or at least be unphased by the chilly weather.   Oh daughter of the snows of Stalingrad, you have let me down.   In talking with her, it seems as if Russians keep their pads insanely hot in the winter and while there is not much to be done when out of doors they hate Old Man Winter.  Who knew?  So until Spring, Red Heat  has now turned into the Babushka Lady from the JFK assassination.   Fortunately, Hot Wheels just wears some tights under her skirt and keeps on truckin'

Hot Wheels is a unique lady.  No doubt about that.  She was discussing that she was being awakened just before dawn daily.  It seems as if there is a bunch of construction going on near her place and she would hear:
"Brup Brup Brup  Brup  Brup  Brup  Brup  Brup" from some trucks dropping off building supplies for the day.  She asked what caused the racket - so I told her it was a Jacobs Engine Brake which is a mechanism that allows trucks to reduce speed without wearing their brakes down and that they ought not to be doing that in town. She wanted to know how it worked, had to tell her that I think it is due to exhaust compression but that I'm neither a truck driver nor a ME. So she spent a goodly hunk of time watching Youtube video's on it.  A lady with spiky heels and an interest in Jake Brakes!  Unique in my experience with the fairer sex.   Mrs. Walks just would have gotten the name of the outfit responsible for the trucks and would have been on the phone with Bark Balls Building Supply or whoever just to raise holy hell with them over the noise. 

Methuselah and Sweet Young Thing are throwing their annual swanky Christmas party tomorrow night at their palatial Chapel Hill estate, so Mrs. Walks will finally get to meet both Red Heat and Hot Wheels.  Alas Hillbilly Jim has a lifetime ban from the festivities after an incident a couple of years back.
Such is life.........................

Great update WAN. I hope you will tell us about the party at Methuselah’s house. Hillbilly Jim is the gift that keeps on giving. He’s a hoot. I hope you enjoy your much needed vacation. 

[Journey]

hand job?

ROFL!!  🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Journey]

Jayze,  what are you wanting from the way back machine?  The banishment from the swanky Christmas parties? Or the best of Hillbilly Jim?

We want the whole story !!!  This is story gold WAN

[Bart Ell]

Merry Kolbymas, 1 year ago today,  Kolby died and returned.  Some highlights from that day

Needs a new name since you are describing Easter.
Come on man, put at least a little thought into it!

It's like when people put gate at the end of everything now like it means something.
It was the name of a fucking hotel, you can't just gate shit when you feel like it.

[Bart Ell]

Hot Wheels had my vote the moment she rocked the full lavender.

Zoo yourself.

[Bluejay]

Needs a new name since you are describing Easter.
Come on man, put at least a little thought into it!

It's like when people put gate at the end of everything now like it means something.
It was the name of a fucking hotel, you can't just gate shit when you feel like it.

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[Bart Ell]

The series finale is just one week away.
Don't miss the legendary @anniem / @Christmas Farm Penis collaboration!

https://twitter.com/bart_ell/status/1205583185226141698

[Bluejay]

The series finale is just one week away.
Don't miss the legendary @anniem / @Christmas Farm Penis collaboration!

https://twitter.com/bart_ell/status/1205583185226141698

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Yay!!!