Coast to Coast AM with George Noory

[ShayP]

''Yes George, I park alongside the road at night to camp, and it's usually the only hard surface around.  I get out my lantern, pen and paper, look for the least bumpy and worn surface area, put the paper down right there on the road, and start writing that day's notes.  It's a mess.  I usually end up with pieces of paper torn, full of holes, indecipherable, and covered with grit and grime.  But since it's all bullshit anyway I usually just make something up when I get back home.

Let me tell you, sometimes I get so focused when I'm there writing, I don't see vehicles approaching and there have been some close calls.''

This gave me a good chuckle.  Just imagining someone doing that.   

[ItsOver]

''Yes George, I park alongside the road at night to camp, and it's usually the only hard surface around.  I get out my lantern, pen and paper, look for the least bumpy and worn surface area, put the paper down right there on the road, and start writing that day's notes.  It's a mess.  I usually end up with pieces of paper torn, full of holes, indecipherable, and covered with grit and grime.  But since it's all bullshit anyway I usually just make something up when I get back home.

Let me tell you, sometimes I get so focused when I'm there writing, I don't see vehicles approaching and there have been some close calls.''

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“So, when you’re writing on the road, like way out in the desert, do you ever write sand script?”

[ItsOver]

That pic is perfect. @ItsOver  The look of confidence on his face.  As if he's thinking, "Breadsticks?  You ain't seen nothing yet."

Heh, heh, heh.  That satisfied look Tommee has, after polishing off the latest whale harvest.

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[ItsOver]

I could listen to LMH read from a Denny's menu. Her vocal tones work right for me.

But I could not withstand the Noory and the others.

For me, it’s hearing that sonorous tape hiss, after she clicks on her Sony Walkman to playback her latest cattle mutilation interview. 

[Dateline]

That pic is perfect. @ItsOver  The look of confidence on his face.  As if he's thinking, "Breadsticks?  You ain't seen nothing yet."

He  be dreamin' about the endless Pasta Bowl. 

[CronkitesGhost]

''Yes George, I park alongside the road at night to camp, and it's usually the only hard surface around.  I get out my lantern, pen and paper, look for the least bumpy and worn surface area, put the paper down right there on the road, and start writing that day's notes.  It's a mess.  I usually end up with pieces of paper torn, full of holes, indecipherable, and covered with grit and grime.  But since it's all bullshit anyway I usually just make something up when I get back home.

Let me tell you, sometimes I get so focused when I'm there writing, I don't see vehicles approaching and there have been some close calls.''

 

[CronkitesGhost]

anyhoo i stuck around last night and listened to the repeat of the first hour of the show with the first guest. my god the guests aren't even found at the bottom of a barrel, Tommy and George are obviously out at night with lanterns and shovels digging up nobodies. The guest was an old man, I heard him and George talking about Sammy Davis Jr. and how the guest was a pro wrestler named Farm Boy something and Car 54 the 1950's sitcom. I know a lot of show biz trivia and I'm trying to think who the guest is, I should know his name, Noory is calling him 'Hank'. Nobody comes to mind so I go to CoasttoCoast's website to look for his full name. HANK GARRETT ........ wtf ...... i know the comedian Brad Garrett, i know Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life, i know Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five O, never heard of a Hank Garrett. So I google the name, holy nobodies batman, i find his filmography, decades of bit parts in movies and TV ...... literally his credits are 'TENANT PAINTING' 'BUS DRIVER' 'PRISON GUARD' 'CAB DRIVER' and voice work on cartoons I've never heard of. He was a support character on Car 54 a thousand years ago. Noory keeps building him up and referring to Hank being in THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR with Robert Redford, his credit in that film is 'MAILMAN'.  Noory says 'You're 90 years old', Hank sheepishly says 'not quite', when he was a pro wrestler he had to lie about his age so he's a few years shy of 90.


But anyway the guy probably pushed on by his third wife wrote an autobiography titled 'HOLLYWOOD HOODLUM' about his fascinating life from a young Jewish hoodlum from Harlem to Hollywood bit player nobody's heard of.  He no doubt sent out emails to every talk radio and TV station he could and of course he struck gold with Coast, a show so lazily produced with absolutely no standards whatsoever, Tommy surely sent him a reply immediately 'When can you do the show? Tomorrow? You can be our first guest.'


The best is yet to come. Hank seems like a nice old man who has led somewhat of an interesting life and he's very honored to be a guest on the radio with George Noory. As always with Noory things get very awkward at points in the interview.
Noory more and more often is faking raw emotion, very very terribly. Here's the play by play of a classic bit of Noory fake schmaltz.

George Noory: Hank I have to tell you, Car 54, what a show. My dad and I would watch it together and it brought him so much joy.

*awkward silence* 

Hank: (very emotional and sincere because he's 87 years old) I don't know what to say, that made me feel so good.

George Noory: (clearing his throat in a VERY hammy way) I .... uh .... I'm ... *gulp* ch... cho .. king up too now.

Hank: It's such an honor to be here. I remember years ago going to WHOLE LIFE EXPO and you were giving a speech about nutrition. I was so impressed by your speech. And now I am on the radio with you.

Noory loves to sell himself as a deeply caring human being even though he's a huge celebrity he treats the little people like they are somebodies.

THIS IS THE BEST PART OF THE EVENING, CLASSIC NOORY SHTICK.

George Noory: Hank you sent me a copy ... of your book ... and autographed it personally.  You know what ..... I promise you ...... (audibly sobbing, voice trembling) I'm going to ... keep this book ... FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.


hahahaha such garbage, so fake, completely insincere.

[Camazotz Automat]

For me, it’s hearing that sonorous tape hiss, after she clicks on her Sony Walkman to playback her latest cattle mutilation interview. 

Heh heh. Sometimes I thought LMH's recorder was hilarious and other times I wanted to hunt it down and disassemble it.

[Camazotz Automat]

I start off liking her commentary but then she starts to wear on me and it just becomes her droning on and on.  Towards the end, this is me:

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👍

That makes perfect sense. A little LMH goes a long way.

Too much... And .... B O O M !

[ShayP]

I avoided most of the show last night especially because they had Ben Fuchs on and the second guest's topic involved consciousness, how to improve your life, etc.    Anyway, I caught part of his segment simply because my radio is on most of the time.  Regardless, he was giving examples of luck and how certain negative things turn out to be positive.  One example was of a person who didn't want to go in the Army.  Not sure if he was drafted.  I'm not sure since I wasn't paying that much attention.  That person ended up breaking his leg and the doctor said something like 'Well, at least you won't have to go in the Army.'

Now, the guest was trying to continue with the story but as soon as he finished his remark of what the doctor said Norry blurts about "Navy!"  The guest was puzzled. He says, after a pause, "I'm sorry I didn't catch that."  Norry again says "Navy.  I was in the Navy and that was lucky for me."  The guest is perplexed, chuckles awkwardly and continues.  I didn't listen after that.

Noory's constant remarks about him being in the Navy really irk me.  His comment last night made no sense because it wasn't relevant.  It had nothing to do with something bad turning into something good by chance.  Now Noory eating molten hot pizza rolls is bad for him but good for us.    We should be so lucky.

[ItsOver]

I avoided most of the show last night especially because they had Ben Fuchs on and the second guest's topic involved consciousness, how to improve your life, etc.    Anyway, I caught part of his segment simply because my radio is on most of the time.  Regardless, he was giving examples of luck and how certain negative things turn out to be positive.  One example was of a person who didn't want to go in the Army.  Not sure if he was drafted.  I'm not sure since I wasn't paying that much attention.  That person ended up breaking his leg and the doctor said something like 'Well, at least you won't have to go in the Army.'

Now, the guest was trying to continue with the story but as soon as he finished his remark of what the doctor said Norry blurts about "Navy!"  The guest was puzzled. He says, after a pause, "I'm sorry I didn't catch that."  Norry again says "Navy.  I was in the Navy and that was lucky for me."  The guest is perplexed, chuckles awkwardly and continues.  I didn't listen after that.

Noory's constant remarks about him being in the Navy really irk me.  His comment last night made no sense because it wasn't relevant.  It had nothing to do with something bad turning into something good by chance.  Now Noory eating molten hot pizza rolls is bad for him but good for us.    We should be so lucky.

With Jorch, it’s all about Jorch. 

[PB]

...  I didn't listen after that...

Neither did anyone else

[Walks_At_Night]

I avoided most of the show last night especially because they had Ben Fuchs on and the second guest's topic involved consciousness, how to improve your life, etc.    Anyway, I caught part of his segment simply because my radio is on most of the time.  Regardless, he was giving examples of luck and how certain negative things turn out to be positive.  One example was of a person who didn't want to go in the Army.  Not sure if he was drafted.  I'm not sure since I wasn't paying that much attention.  That person ended up breaking his leg and the doctor said something like 'Well, at least you won't have to go in the Army.'

Now, the guest was trying to continue with the story but as soon as he finished his remark of what the doctor said Norry blurts about "Navy!"  The guest was puzzled. He says, after a pause, "I'm sorry I didn't catch that."  Norry again says "Navy.  I was in the Navy and that was lucky for me."  The guest is perplexed, chuckles awkwardly and continues.  I didn't listen after that.

Noory's constant remarks about him being in the Navy really irk me.  His comment last night made no sense because it wasn't relevant.  It had nothing to do with something bad turning into something good by chance.  Now Noory eating molten hot pizza rolls is bad for him but good for us.    We should be so lucky.

@ShayP Just in case you would like to relive this:

[ShayP]

@ShayP Just in case you would like to relive this:

Thanks. @Walks_At_Night  After hearing that again, clearly I wasn't precise in my statement, but close in context.  Like I said, I wasn't paying much attention.  Noory's Navy comment was redundant nonetheless. 

[Walks_At_Night]

Thanks. @Walks_At_Night  Clearly I wasn't precise in my statement, but close in context.  Like I said, I wasn't paying much attention.  Noory's Navy comment was redundant nonetheless. 

It sure caught that dude on the hop.  Thanks for pointing it out. I was in a crappy mood and now all is well.