Ask Bart Anything

[Bart Ell]

Bart, did you know that cum is actually blue when it’s in the body. It just turns red because of the oxygen.

I had no idea, mine is still in a body even when it leaves mine.

[KSM]

Bart, did you know that cum is actually blue when it’s in the body. It just turns red because of the oxygen.

Well then I got something seriously wrong with me.



BART,  do you guys up in Kan-ada' have the egg crisis that we here in Da' Merica do? No Eggs! Bird flu or some shit. Conspiracies abound and speculation rules the breakfast day. I actually spent $50+ on a gallon tin of powdered eggs. When prepared it's like a scrambled-egg sort of guck. Close to McDonalds eggs, the stuff they use in their breakfast burritos. Down to one actual egg a day from three as I try to sretch out the egg supply I have. Fuck!

[Bart Ell]

Well then I got something seriously wrong with me.



BART,  do you guys up in Kan-ada' have the egg crisis that we here in Da' Merica do? No Eggs! Bird flu or some shit. Conspiracies abound and speculation rules the breakfast day. I actually spent $50+ on a gallon tin of powdered eggs. When prepared it's like a scrambled-egg sort of guck. Close to McDonalds eggs, the stuff they use in their breakfast burritos. Down to one actual egg a day from three as I try to sretch out the egg supply I have. Fuck!

Just got 36 eggs the other day.
Eggs aplenty up in this bitch.

Sounds like their chickens went sterile from all the inbreeding.
Kinda like many of their humans did.

[PolkaDot]

I made a joke at my expense knowing Bart’s cycling fetish would cause him to respond.  I likened altering my appearance to a woman using makeup to alter theirs.  The backstory to that observation goes back a few years to when I was in grad school.  I spent the better part of two years with the same group of people.  One of them, we’ll call her Stacy, was a nice person and was neither very attractive nor ugly.  When ever I saw her she either had no or very little makeup on.  At our hooding ceremony she looked much more attractive than usual.  After the ceremony a couple of my friends remarked that Stacy looked very nice.  It then dawned on all of us it was due to her makeup.  I’d be lying if I said I got Stacy to a more intimate environment and got a big (or little) surprise.    It is not really a cautionary tale but we all realized how we could be affected by a little war paint. @PolkaDot

I see. The art of putting on the face. It truly is an art.

I was talking to a Vivace sales rep the other day (young, short, blond) and she had such “full coverage” makeup on that it was distracting me. I couldn't look her in the eye I kept wanting to see how the makeup moved when she moved her face. Then I was trying to figure out if it would look good in pictures or if she was just going for the ‘looks perfect from a distance’ but the closer you get the more strange the farce becomes.

[KSM]

Just got 36 eggs the other day.
Eggs aplenty up in this bitch.

Sounds like their chickens went sterile from all the inbreeding.
Kinda like many of their humans did.

...so I am in the land of the not-so-plenty eggs. They say it'll be months before things are normal again.   

[PolkaDot]

...so I am in the land of the not-so-plenty eggs. They say it'll be months before things are normal again.   

Or you could stop listening to Fox News and go to the grocery store.

[whoozit]

There were no eggs at my grocery store the last two times I went.  Can you add it to the list Bart?

[JUAN]

I just got back from the store. A 79-cent dozen eggs was $4.89.

[Bart Ell]

I just got back from the store. A 79-cent dozen eggs was $4.89.

How much were the 4-cent Apples (Russet, while they last, lb.) ?

[JUAN]

Can we set up some kind of historic events calendar here so we won’t miss anniversaries?  For instance, we missed the tenth anniversary of The Pizza Roll Incident.  George bit the microwaved morsel on November 27, 2012.

[KSM]

Hey Barf *Cough* Bart,

- I have three songs that require vocals. Just vocals, everything else is nicely recorded. All three songs sound great so far. 

Now for the ASK preceded by a brief TELL. I am having trouble finding fitting vocal sounds for these latest songs. No matter what I do, I remain less than happy. SO - perhaps a vocal processor.  ?  Perhaps you suggest a standard rackmount unit with a variety of sounds/presets?

Thank you
- Assface

[Bart Ell]

Can we set up some kind of historic events calendar here so we won’t miss anniversaries?  For instance, we missed the tenth anniversary of The Pizza Roll Incident.  George bit the microwaved morsel on November 27, 2012.

We could.
Will you run it, @JUAN ?

[Bart Ell]

Hey Barf *Cough* Bart,

- I have three songs that require vocals. Just vocals, everything else is nicely recorded. All three songs sound great so far. 

Now for the ASK preceded by a brief TELL. I am having trouble finding fitting vocal sounds for these latest songs. No matter what I do, I remain less than happy. SO - perhaps a vocal processor.  ?  Perhaps you suggest a standard rackmount unit with a variety of sounds/presets?

Thank you
- Assface

I haven't used anything like that in years.
The last one I remember trying out was the Behringer Virtualizer FX2000 but I am not sure what you are looking for it to do.

[KSM]

I haven't used anything like that in years.
The last one I remember trying out was the Behringer Virtualizer FX2000 but I am not sure what you are looking for it to do.

    ok



                                                                                                                                                                               fine

[JUAN]

@KSM what are you trying to do? Modify existing actual existing vocals or synthesize vocals from scratch?