Ask Bart Anything

[Bart Ell]

Bart,

Does tilting at windmills hurt?

BIG BIKE IS LYING TO YOU!

Nope, does not hurt at all.

I do not take many pictures, just not my thing.
On the same day in around 2017 I took a picture of a windmill and another of Robert Plant.
I flipped a coin to decide which picture to share...

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[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

I'm drinking beer tonight.  Yep. I am. Miller beer to be exact.  Got 6 of 'em. On number 4. They are not Miller Genuine Draft [which is damn near impossible to find anyways]. Nor Miller Lite, or Miller anything with fruit or onions or whatever weird shit is the current rage to put in beer. Just plain old, garden variety, everyday, common Miller Beer. High Life.  The short, little fat bastards pictured below to be precise. Says right on the label "The Champagne of Beers".
I saw the other day that the some Euro imported this exact beer and the EU had a hissy fit and dumped it out in some Belgian bog or whereever. The point of contention being the  "The Champagne of Beers". I guess some Frogger down Monaco way got nervous that a Belgie would confuse Miller beer with some sort of fine Veuve Clicquot. 

Question for you is: Is this a righteous dump or just Euro paranoia?  Follow up question: Why would Belgie Bob import Miller anyway? 


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Belgie's destroying Miller
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[Bart Ell]

Question for you is: Is this a righteous dump or just Euro paranoia?  Follow up question: Why would Belgie Bob import Miller anyway? 

The fact that a company has enough retardation to advertise itself as the Champagne of beers instead of the beer of beers is enough of a reason to me.

They usually import American stuff because there is a crapload of Americans around for some reason and they are not known as a people who like to go out of their comfort zone.

[PB]

... some Euro imported this exact beer and the EU had a hissy fit and dumped it out in some Belgian bog or whereever. The point of contention being the  "The Champagne of Beers". I guess some Frogger down Monaco way got nervous that a Belgie would confuse Miller beer with some sort of fine Veuve Clicquot. 

Question for you is: Is this a righteous dump or just Euro paranoia?  Follow up question: Why would Belgie Bob import Miller anyway?...

All the yellow, rice based beer should be dumped everywhere it's found.

... They usually import American stuff because there is a crapload of Americans around for some reason and they are not known as a people who like to go out of their comfort zone.

Haha, exactly.  Fools in the home of real Belgian beers.

[PB]

... On the same day in around 2017 I took a picture of a windmill and another of Robert Plant.
I flipped a coin to decide which picture to share...

You made the right choice.

[TigerLily]

BIG BIKE IS LYING TO YOU!

Nope, does not hurt at all.

I do not take many pictures, just not my thing.
On the same day in around 2017 I took a picture of a windmill and another of Robert Plant.
I flipped a coin to decide which picture to share...

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GOOD GOD, MAN. ROBERT PLANT!

[HamsterMuscle]

GOOD GOD, MAN. ROBERT PLANT!

I think that Bart is joking. That's just a windmill, not Robert Plant.

[HamsterMuscle]

Sir Bart,

Do you think that this is worth the money? 

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[Bart Ell]

Sir Bart,

Do you think that this is worth the money? 

They guarantee the 8 fret spread but show a picture of a 7 fret spread.
I would not pay more than $149.99 for it.

[KSM]

Sir Bart,

Do you think that this is worth the money? 

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Way to up your fisting game! YOU GO, GIRL!!

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[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

I once worked at golf course. Fine layout. Nice resort kind of place up in Northern Michigan.  Helped pay for school. Lady golfers at the time all seemed to look like Jo-Ann "Big Mama" Carner:
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Always bitching about their cart or that their golf shoes weren't cleaned properly.

These days they seem to look like Ms. Alyn here:

What the hell happened? How do you even clean high heels?

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[Bart Ell]

What the hell happened? How do you even clean high heels?

Turns out women prefer making their own money over being stuck in a kitchen waiting for their nightly beating to happen when their small dicked husband comes home from the job he hates and feels the need reclaim part of the manhood he lost that day when his boss told him to fly straight.

If you get enough views you don't have to clean high heels,  you toss 'em out and get a new pair for the next video.

[PB]

... These days they seem to look like Ms. Alyn here:

Oh man, she can play golf with me any time.  However -- straighten that shot out a bit.

Also, how'd that guy toss her the club like that, I need to learn how to do that.

[TigerLily]

Turns out women prefer making their own money over being stuck in a kitchen waiting for their nightly beating to happen when their small dicked husband comes home from the job he hates and feels the need reclaim part of the manhood he lost that day when his boss told him to fly straight.

If you get enough views you don't have to clean high heels,  you toss 'em out and get a new pair for the next video.

You have great insight into the female mind

[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

I have to take some sort of F'ed up psychological test tomorrow at work. I'm kind of stressed over it. It is pretty well established that I'm an asshole and that my Id ain't right. Why do I have to be tested to have it thrown around for the whole department to see?  Any advice?  I'm thinking of going radical and doing the Spicoli when filling out the answers.