Ask Bart Anything

[Walks_At_Night]

Great entertainment for $0.0162.   

[KSM]

Bart,

Why are my cakes coming out dry? As suggested on the box I use milk instead of water, and I take the liberty of adding a scoop of protein powder. Could it be that the protein powder is causing this?

Don't get me wrong; when I say 'dry' I don't mean like a catchers mitt, just not as moist as should be.

[TigerLily]

Bart,

Why are my cakes coming out dry? As suggested on the box I use milk instead of water, and I take the liberty of adding a scoop of protein powder. Could it be that the protein powder is causing this?

Don't get me wrong; when I say 'dry' I don't mean like a catchers mitt, just not as moist as should be.

It's the protein powder, Tarzan. Be glad I didn't call you Cheeta

[PB]

Bart,

Why are my cakes coming out dry? As suggested on the box I use milk instead of water, and I take the liberty of adding a scoop of protein powder. Could it be that the protein powder is causing this?

Don't get me wrong; when I say 'dry' I don't mean like a catchers mitt, just not as moist as should be.

Cooking it just a few minutes too long?

Just before you think its done, stick a toothpick in the middle and pull it back out.  If its dry, the cake is done, if the toothpick has batter on it, it needs to cook longer.  And don't dump in protein powder or any other junk that doesn't need to be in it.  Also, carrot shreds keep it moist, which is why they are added to carrot cake.

[KSM]

Cooking it just a few minutes too long?

Just before you think its done, stick a toothpick in the middle and pull it back out.  If its dry, the cake is done, if the toothpick has batter on it, it needs to cook longer.  And don't dump in protein powder or any other junk that doesn't need to be in it.  Also, carrot shreds keep it moist, which is why they are added to carrot cake.

Carrot and chocolate? Fuck sakes, c'mon.

I purposely undercook chocolate cakes so that they are runny in the main middle area. This makes it as Lava..  The crazy limousine liberal woman is correct about the protein powder. Heated protein tends to swell and require more moisture to remain a protein macronutrient - lest it die.

In your defense - you did not know that I was specifically referring to chocolate cake.

[PB]

Carrot and chocolate? Fuck sakes, c'mon.

I purposely undercook chocolate cakes so that they are runny in the main middle area. This makes it as Lava..  The crazy limousine liberal woman is correct about the protein powder. Heated protein tends to swell and require more moisture to remain a protein macronutrient - lest it die.

In your defense - you did not know that I was specifically referring to chocolate cake.

Yeah, carrots only go in carrot cake.

It was an example of the lengths people will go to ensure moisture in a cake.

[Bart Ell]

Bart,

Why are my cakes coming out dry? As suggested on the box I use milk instead of water, and I take the liberty of adding a scoop of protein powder. Could it be that the protein powder is causing this?

Don't get me wrong; when I say 'dry' I don't mean like a catchers mitt, just not as moist as should be.

Pudding mix and sour cream.

[KSM]

Pudding mix and sour cream.

Now that sounds like a plan. Also sounds familiar, so it must be a thing.

Thank you Mrs. Thompson!

[Exile]

Pudding mix and sour cream.

Sour Cream in choco cake?

Shut er down folks. The barbarians have entered the bastion. I repeat: the barbarians have entered the bastion.

 

[Walks_At_Night]

Bart,

Like WTF is going on?

Snake falls out of sky, lands on woman, then both attacked by a hawk

[KSM]

Bart,

Like WTF is going on?

Snake falls out of sky, lands on woman, then both attacked by a hawk

Whatcha' got there my friend is some rectified-bonified-classified and truly specified Art Bell Quickening!

[Bart Ell]

Bart,

Like WTF is going on?

Snake falls out of sky, lands on woman, then both attacked by a hawk

Hawk dropped the snake and went back for it.

[Walks_At_Night]

Hawk dropped the snake and went back for it.

Ok. Yeah. Easy one. Really the only thing that could have happened, although tough to explain to the Doctor that had to put that arm back together: "It was a million to one shot Doc".

Here is a little tougher one. You are out and about and having a good time. After bending the elbow a little bit drinking some ale, nature calls. You cruise over to the head and run into this.  Do you flee in horror and disgust? Do you do the needful with gusto and relish? Do you fire and try to forget or do you take the next step and open that next door to see what lies behind it?

[Bart Ell]

Ok. Yeah. Easy one. Really the only thing that could have happened, although tough to explain to the Doctor that had to put that arm back together: "It was a million to one shot Doc".

Here is a little tougher one. You are out and about and having a good time. After bending the elbow a little bit drinking some ale, nature calls. You cruise over to the head and run into this.  Do you flee in horror and disgust? Do you do the needful with gusto and relish? Do you fire and try to forget or do you take the next step and open that next door to see what lies behind it?

I would pretend I am playing along and then, at the last second, pull back and piss in his eyes.

[PB]

Ok. Yeah. Easy one. Really the only thing that could have happened...

I've seen hawks flying with snakes they've caught a couple different times while hiking.  I'll be sure to not be directly underneath in the future..