Having a beer with one of my buddies and he tells me about his latest frolic with some chick. She managed to score a hollow-leg of pricey drinks at some rooftop hotel bar and left him to take care of his own needs.
"Not my proudest wank," he told me.
I actually have a proudest wank.
My live-in GF at the time asked if I wanted to shower together and I thought, don't mind if I doooo...being a Saturday and not in a hurry, we could sneak in a quick soapy shag. But when I moved in for the kill, she said "Stop that, I'm not in the mood." Bitch, why did you invite me in the fuckin shower then?
My roosevelt was none too pleased at this turn of events as he WAS in the mood. She's soaping up under the shower head and I'm standing at the back of the shower with nothing to do, so when she turned her back to me I thought, why waste a perfectly good erection? So I started racking it, and to my surprise, I got a groove on. She started shampooing her hair and I calculated the time remaining before I would get caught and thought, I might actually be able to bring this one home.
I put it in third gear and just at that moment -- proving that there is, indeed, a god and he loves all of his children, sinners though we may be -- she bent over to wash the shampoo out of her hair. And I got a twofer out of that manoeuver because it also provided a convenient landing spot for the streams of thick ropey scoot that came firing out of my bacon bazooka. Of course she never noticed the difference, raindrops are raindrops.
And the best part was when she finished rinsing and she stood back up and said, "Do my back" and I replied that I already had.
