Bart,
All this talk about your pretty skirt intrigued me. What kind of skirt is it? A mini-skirt, floor length or below the knee? Could it be a Scottish kilt? I finally settled on one of those cute poodle skirts from the 1950's. In refreshing my memory on what they looked like, I found this shit:
So the question is this. Does everything wholesome have to be defiled in some manner by freaks?
My skirt is whatever you need it to be for you to get happy pants!
As far as wholesome... were you aware that poodle skirts were only worn by girls who had chlamydia?
It was worn as a warning system to men - they were ready to fuck but you may not want to raw dog them.
The poodle represented the raw dogging.
Back in poodle skirt days all condoms were made from sheep intestines so, on occasion, one would get food poisoning from a rotten condom.
That is where Johnny Rotten got his name - A condom was sometimes referred to as a "Johnny"