I'm thinking of an answer that isn't TMI... Remind me if I don't come back to this, @KSM
TMI. Really?
Ok. I'll go first.
When I was 20 I got way into biking during a three month layoff from band on the road stuff. I had the whole Lance Armstrong outfit bike gear with the spandex shorts. One night while cooking pasta and wearing said spandex shorts (no underwear with my prick down my left leg) (chicks dig that look) I was rather neglectful and had the pot handle pointing outward over the edge of the stove. Yada yada.. I was explaining something to a 'guest' and was quite animated and talking with my hands.
In one gesture my life almost changed! While lowering my hands to help make whatever point I was making I hit the pot handle thus tipping the BOILING WATER and all it's contents down onto my AREA!
The spandex INSTANTLY melted and MERGED into the skin of the RIGHT SIDE OF MY PENIS becoming one with the shorts I was wearing!
Remember the Philadelphia Experiment where the men were melted in with the steel of the deck of the ship? LIKE THAT!!! IT WAS JUST LIKE THAT!!
I was rushed to emergency where I (while awake) suffered unspeakable agonizing pain while the
aliens doctors peeeeeeled away the skin FROM MY PENIS!!!
SEAN!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!
... anyways I made a full recovery thanks to a lovely gal who visited me daily to apply the cream. This was difficult as the huge scab was forming and then formed as getting arroused while she helped out

would have been dreadful and greatly hindering my recovery should the scab fall off prematurely. Things worked out great for me but I was extremely lucky.
Thank you Jesus.
OK. Your turn..
@sean92008