Tell Bart Anything

[KSM]

Well I'd say I came out on top. Look at them all just posting away in here!!

Plan, perfect.

[GravitySucks]

In the past I've tried that out of desperation.  Didn't help.  It was a banana flavored popsicle by the way, not that it matters.  I'd rather not try it again and risk causing an anal fissure.

This stuff is expensive:

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Don’t go getting blood on the sundress

[ShayP]

Hey @ShayP  I'm sorry to hear about your problem with netherlands. Here are some ideas:

1)  Eat plenty of both kinds of fiber.  A big salad or soup with plenty and a variety vegetables
2)  Sitz bath in warm water. 10 -15 minutes. Pat dry
3) Apply witch hazel (Tucks pads) or Preparation H (soothers lidocaine, hydrocortisone, etc.)
4) Take a fiber supplement like Citrucel
5) Take a walk every day

Hope this helps.  This would make a good Ask Mrs T quiz

You could be the next Mrs T! @TigerLily     Thank you for the advice.  It is appreciated.    I eat plenty of fiber.  I do use Tucks pads, Preparation H, and Cortaid.  I had to Google what a Sitz bath was.  LOL

[ShayP]

Don’t go getting blood on the sundress

I won't. @GravitySucks  I have it framed in a memorial flag display case.

[whoozit]

You could be the next Mrs T! @TigerLily     Thank you for the advice.  It is appreciated.    I eat plenty of fiber.  I do use Tucks pads, Preparation H, and Cortaid.  I had to Google what a Sitz bath was.  LOL

All of that sounds like a pain in the ass.  Just don’t get hemorrhoids in the first place.

[KSM]

All of that sounds like a pain in the ass.  Just don’t get hemorrhoids in the first place.

@whoozit  looks like you've got your assplay thread after all. Congrats!

[TigerLily]

All of that sounds like a pain in the ass.  Just don’t get hemorrhoids in the first place.

That's the point. To get rid of it. Now @whoozit if you were a pain in the ass and someone wanted to get rid of you. What would you suggest? Would you go for temporary relief or the permanent solution?

[whoozit]

That's the point. To get rid of it. Now @whoozit if you were a pain in the ass and someone wanted to get rid of you. What would you suggest? Would you go for temporary relief or the permanent solution?

I am a pain in the ass @TigerLily and I would go for the permanent solution, an assectomy and a colostomy. It’s the only way to be sure.

[KSM]

We have out of town company arriving today. Two couples so my patience will be put to the test as they're not scheduled to leave until Tuesday morning. Houseguests are like fish, good for 24 hours. And whooo fuckin' comes on a Saturday and not the Friday??

Fuck. Me!

[whoozit]

We have out of town company arriving today. Two couples so my patience will be put to the test as they're not scheduled to leave until Tuesday morning. Houseguests are like fish, good for 24 hours. And whooo fuckin' comes on a Saturday and not the Friday??

Fuck. Me!

Freeze the guests, they’ll keep longer.

[KSM]

Freeze the guests, they’ll keep longer.

ha   ha              ha 

They'll be here in the next 90 mins, funny man!

[damon]

@Bart Ell I'm here to tell you to have an awesome labor day weekend.

[whoozit]

I’m beginning to think you have the right idea about the outdoors.   I popped something in my left hamstring on a hike today and wish I had stayed indoors.

[damon]

@Bart Ell I'm posting this post to tell you that I hope that you have an awesome week.

[Bart Ell]

I’m beginning to think you have the right idea about the outdoors.   I popped something in my left hamstring on a hike today and wish I had stayed indoors.

Inside is the right side of the world to be on.
I have no need to be climbing over twigs and berries like I am Laura Secord.