Stupid crap my Father-in-law says

[JUAN]

Obviously you and your husband are granola eating, soy drinkers who don't understand that life is not free.

[Kingfish]

Obviously you and your husband are granola eating, soy drinkers who don't understand that life is not free.

Agreed.  They might find listening to and showing him some respect will go a long way.

[DynamoHum]

I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.

[GravitySucks]

I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.

Are you a redhead?

[DynamoHum]

Are you a redhead?

If left in the sun long enough, yes.
They have a higher pain threshold don’t they?

[GravitySucks]

If left in the sun long enough, yes.
They have a higher pain threshold don’t they?

They really do.


And boy can they dish it out.

[DynamoHum]

They really do.


And boy can they dish it out.

I’m a kind, loving soul.

Don’t you forget it

[PolkaDot]

he just said to one of the Officers I guess since there are only two of you you are not going to gang me and beat me all the while yelling stop resisting.

I've only made it this far and I all ready know I need a coffee table book of quotes with cartoon illustrations. This man is amazing. 

[PolkaDot]

he drinks bourbon (Makers Mark)
thru ought the day, used to drink rum until that pirate stuff became popular, I would say half a liter a day,, is that too much?

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[PolkaDot]

The question I have are all old white men this hard core or is this a generation thing, because my husband will not think twice about using his health benefits
.

30/70!

[albrecht]

If it was just about ham that would be ok, but I have two kids a girl 12 and a boy 14 and they love/follow him like a fairy Tale.  He is the complete opposite of their father, he can fix everything and the neighbor children call him Skips

He seems like a decent guy, mostly. Why waste $, time, and a trip if you can fix it up at home? All these people who rush to the ER because they got a cough or got a cut means people who REALLY need it might have to wait. Also there is always risk of secondary infections or catching someone else's disease at a hospital or ER.  I guess if the cut was that bad you could go to one of those med clinic but it sounds like he has it covered fine: clean the wound, dress the wound, let it heal.

And what is wrong with fixing stuff- including stuff for your neighbors? Ok, maybe the excessive drinking, and certainly the police "interaction," are not a good examples for kids but some toughness,  ability to work mechanically on stuff, and helping out others are. At a certain age you aren't going to change a person (if someone else can really "change" anyone) so I'd say let him go about his ways, unless there is a real danger to children or yourself.

[PolkaDot]

I managed to break a pint glass while washing it and the gash down the outside of my hand under my pinky was quite bad (flesh hanging down and copious blood) - I only mention this because at the ER they told me it had to be stitched up and they wanted to put local anaesthetic on it (which I know hurts and makes the area swell so would make stitching twice as long a process) so told the doc to just stitch it without anaesthetic - he balked at first, but then I told him to not be a wuss and do it. It was fine, but then I have a very high pain threshold - I have endometriosis. Afterwards the doc told me he had worked in South Africa and they saw a lot of gunshot/stabbing victims and most would not have been able to do what I did.

Maybe I am a bit of a curmudgeonly old lady

he does sound like a pain in the arse, however.

Women often have a higher tolerance of pain than men. Men will SAY they do but it's often not true. I've worked in medicine for many years and believe me women, especially older women, can handle some shit.

[Astro Bitch]

Well this morning my Father-in-law caught my boxer (dog 1 years old) with a sock between this paws and he said Louie, if you chew this sock I'm gonna chew your ass with my foot, just 15 minutes ago he was (father-in-law) was on all 4's eye to eye with Louie and he was growling at Louie, Louie got up on his back two legs and popped my Dad (from here on out)in the face with his right paw and cut his eye lid I thought the shit was going to hit the fan but he just said "Louie I'll give you that one, you caught me off guard" he just put a cold wash cloth on it and it was bleeding alot and my husband didn't even think to as about telling him he needs stitches since the last time.  Now he is mumbling about what his friends are going to say when they ask him how he got his eye cut and blackened and he has to tell them "That damned dog punched me in the face because I growled at him".  This is true.

[Astro Bitch]

I've only made it this far and I all ready know I need a coffee table book of quotes with cartoon illustrations. This man is amazing. 

You think that is funny one time he was arguing with one of my friends about jet liners dumping toilet waste over cities and she didn't believe it because there would be doo doo stains on the plane and Dad just said if the plane is moving fast enough to rip the clothes of of someone when they just "What chance does a shit stain in Hell have with that kind of force against it".

[PolkaDot]

Well this morning my Father-in-law caught my boxer (dog 1 years old) with a sock between this paws and he said Louie, if you chew this sock I'm gonna chew your ass with my foot, just 15 minutes ago he was (father-in-law) was on all 4's eye to eye with Louie and he was growling at Louie, Louie got up on his back two legs and popped my Dad (from here on out)in the face with his right paw and cut his eye lid I thought the shit was going to hit the fan but he just said "Louie I'll give you that one, you caught me off guard" he just put a cold wash cloth on it and it was bleeding alot and my husband didn't even think to as about telling him he needs stitches since the last time.  Now he is mumbling about what his friends are going to say when they ask him how he got his eye cut and blackened and he has to tell them "That damned dog punched me in the face because I growled at him".  This is true.

This seems legit! That dog is going to be his best friend! LOL. Your Dad-in-law cracks me up. Seriously, when is the coffee table book coming out?