Author Topic: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says  (Read 4722 times)

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albrecht

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #210 on: March 22, 2019, 04:53:49 PM »
Actually he is more of the  Walk a mile in another mans shoes kind of guy but he shows more respect to my parents than he does to to me, he spent a year in Mongolia with the Peace Corps back in the mid 70's, he has his own opinions on Mongolia and China, funny how he thinks he is an expert.

Mongs/Hmongs ("Meios," interestingly called also) fought with us (and some other earlier colonial powers in Laos, Vietnam, etc.) Though there are some tribes in China they are far from "Mongolian" and more assc with far southern China, Laos, Vietnam, etc area. Like other persecuted groups (Montagnards) they often were recruited to "help out" us, and earlier, like French, because they were often Christian (or nominally so but often very much so- Catholic especially due to French missionaries) but also since the larger ethnic groups "in charge" considered them backwards and so often persecuted. And also, due to this, had knowledge of the mountains (he the name of the former) or rural areas where an insurgency, or counter-ones, is often best done.

I'm generally against much immigration but when you got folks that really helped you out, volunteered in large numbers, and hated commies I don't mind them coming in. Like, for example, the British for the loyal Malayans, the loyal in southern African countries and Kenya, and Gurhkas the veterans deserve right to emigrate, their pensions, etc but cause they fought the enemy, often with aplomb and bravery, and then often abandoned/abused by fellow countrymen once colonial forces "pulled out" and let the commies and natives take over.

Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #211 on: March 31, 2019, 03:19:05 PM »
Well it seems that FIL has a teenage following of boys.  FIL HAD A GROUP OF 5 OR 6 BOYS IN THE BACK YARD, he looked like he was giving a class but as it turned out he was teaching them how to recoginize the difference between a Pimp Slap, Jap Slap and a Bitch Slap..go figure I never knew there was a difference
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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #212 on: March 31, 2019, 03:24:42 PM »
Well it seems that FIL has a teenage following of boys.  FIL HAD A GROUP OF 5 OR 6 BOYS IN THE BACK YARD, he looked like he was giving a class but as it turned out he was teaching them how to recoginize the difference between a Pimp Slap, Jap Slap and a Bitch Slap..go figure I never knew there was a difference

You need to film some of these escapades.
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Astro Bitch

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #213 on: March 31, 2019, 03:27:13 PM »
You need to film some of these escapades.
I would but he thinks any type of photography is soul stealing
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albrecht

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #214 on: March 31, 2019, 03:31:50 PM »
Well it seems that FIL has a teenage following of boys.  FIL HAD A GROUP OF 5 OR 6 BOYS IN THE BACK YARD, he looked like he was giving a class but as it turned out he was teaching them how to recoginize the difference between a Pimp Slap, Jap Slap and a Bitch Slap..go figure I never knew there was a difference

I would assume the Jap Slap is a surprise, the Pimp Slap is one in which one knows is coming (hiding money or whatever,) and the Bitch Slap maybe a mild one to help someone gain their senses back or a backhanded variety? But not sure, as GS says, put up a youtube of the lecture.

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #215 on: March 31, 2019, 03:36:34 PM »
I would but he thinks any type of photography is soul stealing

If he has a brother, I think I live next door to him.
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Nucky Nolan

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #216 on: March 31, 2019, 03:43:52 PM »
You need to film some of these escapades.

Angry Grandpa left a void after he passed. The OP may have a YouTube career ahead of him.

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #217 on: April 11, 2019, 04:06:37 PM »
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.
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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #218 on: April 12, 2019, 09:58:49 AM »
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.

That is hilarious!

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #219 on: April 12, 2019, 11:56:12 AM »
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.
I am in serious like with this old goat!

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paladin1991

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #220 on: April 13, 2019, 01:20:08 AM »
Well today Grand-Dad pulled a fast one on a real-estate dude,  to make a long story short, we own 5 acres of land with the only access road to a plot of 67 acres of land locked property and this real estate guy keeps trying to get us to sell for some low ball figure of 500K but the land around here goes for $250 a square foot.  Wee been getting this correspondence  that says we pay cash for your home regardless of size and condition,  (3 acres of this property is his), he called the man up and set up an appointment, when the guy came over here he was nice and FIL took him a little ways out and asked him what he thinks, he said 500K and FIL told him it was too much that he only wanted 10K for the property, the man almost shit his pants until FIL showed him a 1yd X 1Yd square with a Popsicle stick house on it.  The guy asked what this was and FIL replied for 10K that is yours the man replied what the fuck is this, are you serious and FIL replied I am as serious as the ass kicking you are going to get if you ever send me anymore bullshit about buying my shit.
Ahahahahahhahaahahaha!  Your FIL is fucking amazing!

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #221 on: April 15, 2019, 08:21:48 PM »
Ahahahahahhahaahahaha!  Your FIL is fucking amazing!
Yeah, he is also crazy, for being 70 years old he is not old acting, imagine Jack Palance at 6'4" and 240 lbs and that is him, actually he keeps letting people know his height and weight, pure scary when he gets mad.
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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #222 on: April 16, 2019, 08:17:40 AM »
Yeah, he is also crazy, for being 70 years old he is not old acting, imagine Jack Palance at 6'4" and 240 lbs and that is him, actually he keeps letting people know his height and weight, pure scary when he gets mad.

Have this mental image...maybe just the attitude is accurate though...

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #223 on: April 17, 2019, 04:09:58 PM »
Have this mental image...maybe just the attitude is accurate though...

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Close but the beard is ginger with gray and not as buff but with a Jack Palance bald head as he says it is a choice not a a requirement head, now all that aside today this 30ish chubby black lady rang our bell and asked for dear old FIL, I thought she wanted him to do some work for him and then when he got to the door he handed her a sheet of paper and she hugged him and bounced all up and down while hugging him and she only came up to his mid chest, my jaw dropped, I thought he was having a fling with her or something like that, maybe a pregnancy test or something, they talked for like 10 minutes looking at the paper and then she hugged him again and left.  When he came in I asked him what that show was all about and he told me "Curiosity killed the Cat, and I am not going to give you the satisfaction to bring it back"  Come to find out after a few hours of checking is that he made a 1st anniversary church banquet dinner flier for her,,woo, talk about feeling low
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.

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Re: Stupid crap my Father-in-law says
« Reply #224 on: April 17, 2019, 04:43:16 PM »
Close but the beard is ginger with gray and not as buff but with a Jack Palance bald head as he says it is a choice not a a requirement head, now all that aside today this 30ish chubby black lady rang our bell and asked for dear old FIL, I thought she wanted him to do some work for him and then when he got to the door he handed her a sheet of paper and she hugged him and bounced all up and down while hugging him and she only came up to his mid chest, my jaw dropped, I thought he was having a fling with her or something like that, maybe a pregnancy test or something, they talked for like 10 minutes looking at the paper and then she hugged him again and left.  When he came in I asked him what that show was all about and he told me "Curiosity killed the Cat, and I am not going to give you the satisfaction to bring it back"  Come to find out after a few hours of checking is that he made a 1st anniversary church banquet dinner flier for her,,woo, talk about feeling low

Between your FIL and WAN's "Red Heat" this group is a proving that truth is a lot funnier than fiction.

Don't stop, this guy is my "second hand lion" of sorts... 8)