Stupid crap my Father-in-law says

[Sofia]

Today dad was jerking Alexa around by asking things like, Alexa, play The Dick in my ass and she would reply I can't find The Dick in my ass and he would keep on going with those sort of requests.  Is this what I have to look forward to when I get his age?

Oh, no!  Just get a parrot, tee hee.

[Sofia]

My son and fil went to the mall today, son says they went to the bathroom and it was a little packed, dil was pissing in the urinal and according to son the guy behind him was a little too close and fil turned sideways while still pissing and said to the man, come on, we can share if you can't hold it,, the man turned red and left and the other guys started to laugh.

Way to "go"!  (You can tell him I said that).

[Astro Bitch]

Way to "go"!  (You can tell him I said that).

Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.

[albrecht]

Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.

So far I think he is a good role-model. (not the police stuff) but the other stuff seems like a good guy and your kids could do MUCH worse! Heck, let him tell them how to fix stuff, stand up for themselves, work hard etc.

[paladin1991]

Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.

What bad habits?  Being an Alpha Male?  Your son would grow up to be a Marine or some other real man shit.

[JUAN]

What bad habits?  Being an Alpha Male?  Your son would grow up to be a Marine or some other real man shit.

I’m glad to see you capitalize Marine. Dammit, it’s a shortened form of a proper noun string. The godless, communist, post- modernist, neo-Calvinist grammer nazis insist on lower case.

[paladin1991]

I’m glad to see you capitalize Marine. Dammit, it’s a shortened form of a proper noun string. The godless, communist, post- modernist, neo-Calvinist grammer nazis insist on lower case.

What?!

[Sofia]

Yeah, my son hangs around his grand father way too much, he is going to pick up his bad attitude and habits.

Hopefully he'll take the good stuff!

[Astro Bitch]

Today I looked out the kitchen window and saw Cassie(my daughter) lying across Louie's (my Boxer dog) back with her arms around his neck, I opened the window and asked her what she was doing to Louie and she replied that she was putting the sleeper hold on him but it is not working like it did when grand dad put it on DeAndre.  I asked him about it and fil said that the sleeper doesn't work on animals because the arteries are in the wrong place then said she needs a human to practice on I told him to stop teaching my kids to be violent and he called me feckless and where would I be if my ancestors felt that way then said he was only teaching DeAndre the only rule that counts as a man and this is his exact words “If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.”  I asked DeAndre what grand dad WAS TEACHING HIM AND RE SAID "violence of action" I asked him what that meant and he said I had to ask Grand Dad because I wouldn't understand. 

[Sofia]

Today I looked out the kitchen window and saw Cassie(my daughter) lying across Louie's (my Boxer dog) back with her arms around his neck, I opened the window and asked her what she was doing to Louie and she replied that she was putting the sleeper hold on him but it is not working like it did when grand dad put it on DeAndre.  I asked him about it and fil said that the sleeper doesn't work on animals because the arteries are in the wrong place then said she needs a human to practice on I told him to stop teaching my kids to be violent and he called me feckless and where would I be if my ancestors felt that way then said he was only teaching DeAndre the only rule that counts as a man and this is his exact words “If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.”  I asked DeAndre what grand dad WAS TEACHING HIM AND RE SAID "violence of action" I asked him what that meant and he said I had to ask Grand Dad because I wouldn't understand.

How did DeAndre feel when grand dad put the sleeper hold on him??

At least gran dad has the excuse of trying to teach manliness, plus PTSD.  My dad did not seem to suffer PTSD at all and was not a combat veteran so he had no excuse, but he used to torture each of us with traumatic choke holds, even me, the girl.  Mom did not intervene, and was usually in the next room.  He never left marks and we never turned blue.  But it was traumatizing.  We were so little every time he did it (drunk), we always forgot and the next time he started in wrestling, we never saw it coming.  That last until about age 4, after which age we all wised up.  Why didn't he take up a sport instead of picking on little kids.

He's been deceased over 15 years.  I was always as kind to him as I could be.  I didn't miss him the first 10 years he was dead.  Not at all.  But sometimes now I do remember good things he did.  He was really patient with costume necklace knots, unknotting them for me anytime, and he is the one who told me overpasses and bridges get icier than other surfaces.  He had a lot of blind spots and badness, but that wasn't all.

[Astro Bitch]

Funny he said the only thing he could remember was trying to throw an elbow or two then waking up on the floor, he did say grand dad told him the first thing he should do when he woke up was check for his wallet.  I don't think he has PTSD well at least he does not take any medication and he does not get any disability from the Army.  I only know of few things he feels bad about or regrets that he told us and one is getting kicked off of/Banned from Ft. Bragg, NC, that is always a sore spot with him and he always brings it up when there are decisions (ethical or moral) that involves the kids and when he put crap in the Bn HQ's water-buffalo that ended up giving the command group dysentery (Viet-Nam).

[Sofia]

Funny he said the only thing he could remember was trying to throw an elbow or two then waking up on the floor, he did say grand dad told him the first thing he should do when he woke up was check for his wallet.  I don't think he has PTSD well at least he does not take any medication and he does not get any disability from the Army.  I only know of few things he feels bad about or regrets that he told us and one is getting kicked off of/Banned from Ft. Bragg, NC, that is always a sore spot with him and he always brings it up when there are decisions (ethical or moral) that involves the kids and when he put crap in the Bn HQ's water-buffalo that ended up giving the command group dysentery (Viet-Nam).

Glad he wasn't too stressed out!  Such as character.

[Astro Bitch]

F-I-L sent this to my father

https://youtu.be/jIuKsmxO6qQ

[Rikki Gins]

F-I-L sent this to my father

https://youtu.be/jIuKsmxO6qQ

As kids, we used to sing this little ditty to the tune of Whistle While You Work:

Whistle while you work!
Hilter is a jerk!
Mussolini bit his weenie
now it doesn’t work

[JUAN]

In 1983, a friend’s grandmother walked up to a Japanese couple shopping in the grocery store and told them she was finally able to forgive them for Pearl Harbor.